Originally posted by: Samanalyse
This AT moved so fast since I posted and came back to check 😲
Thanks to everyone who appreciated the post! It's an old trope that the mark of a true gentleman/woman is that they never talk about money, but it's a "virtue" that has since been outed as extreme privilege. You only have the luxury not to be preoccupied with money when you have more than you can spend. Abir joked that they are all going to live off of Kunal's mehnat, but like... where is the lie? In all this, I find it hard not to take Jasmeet and Kuhu's concerns seriously.
It's not a huge leap to imagine a future where Kunal, Kuhu, and Parul do all the work while Abir and Mishti enjoy mukhiya status, and if they try to defy or question the mukhiyas? Well, we've seen how MA's role models, BP and BM deal with that. 🤔 Kuhu's problems with being Parul's bahu have nothing to do with materialistic desire or status, and everything to do with equality, fairness, and independence. Jasmeet is just trying to spare Kuhu her own fate. She and Varsha have been loyal bahus for decades and they still don't get a seat at the table, so she's telling Kuhu, there is no reward just for being loyal, hardoworking bahu. You have to fight for your rights and your position from the beginning or people will happily walk all over you twenty five years later (see Nannu's shaadi decision).
You can certainly adopt the age old lens that women who open up these issues are crass and vulgar but I see these questions as blunt and pragmatic. If someone doesn't muster the courage to ask them, the inustice just goes unquestioned.
This is Kunal's life @aqua. He is constantly trying to appease his mom and brother and appeasing one always makes the other one furious. What did he say to Mishti when he was reasoning with Meenu to drop the sleeping-pill thing? Someone has to back down. In the Meenu/Abir equation, neither one of them ever backs down so Kunal does it for the both of them. This is how he maintains some semblance of peace in the household, but it also means he puts his feelings and needs last on the priority list while he shuttles between Ma and bhai.
Meenu always tells him that what she wants is actually in Abir's best interests and Abir always tells him that what he wants is "right" and therefore Meenu will eventually get on board, but neither of these things is ever true. It's always up to Kunal to sort through the situation and do the necessary damage control, but he loves these people so much and wants them to get along so badly that he never stops to think that maybe he should tell both of them to buzz off and stop dragging him into their equation.
Furthermore, Meenu sees hurting Abir's feelings in the short run as worth it to save him from major hurt in the long run. Abir believes that Meenu doesn't have any feelings worth worrying about. Both of them are all or nothing people, my way or the high way. Once again, in the middle of this is Kunal who cares about both of their feelings, and feels both of their pain keenly. He helped Meenu separate Abir and Mishti but he always worried about the bhai's feelings and his heart being broken. And now, he saw the importance of acknolwedging Parul in public, but unlike Abir, can't just ignore how much it has hurt Meenu. And he knows that words don't mean much to Meenu, so his first move was to ask her to come back to the office. The only way to calm her fears is to restore their normal and that's going to take time.
What absolutely breaks my heart is that this burden is falling entirely on the person who has had the least time with this truth, but whom it affects the most. Kunal actually building a relationship with Parul, and coming to terms with his identity are the last thing on anyone's mind. 😭
In all this, Kuhu has become Kunal's calm in the storm. He has come to depend on her ability to break seemingly insurmountable problems into smaller steps that lead to incremental, positive change without causing major drama. Just look at the way he stormed into the NishMish roka vs. how Kuhu subtly arranged that five minute meeting after the sangeet. What he didn't bargain for is that his drama-buster wife would be the one bringing more drama into the already fraught situation. If either Kuhu had decided to shelve the Mishti thing and let the moment be about Kunal, OR Kunal had just said fine, I won't talk to Mishti, they would have been fine but irony of ironies, neither backed down.
In a life or death moment, when Kuhu was in the hospital with her allergic reaction, Kunal understood with complete clarity that their fights were the most intimate part of their relationship -- the only time he doesn't back down is when he is fighting with her -- but in the mundane light of day, the doubts buried deep in his psyche creep back up. Sometimes he reminds me of Chandler from friends, like when he was convinced that Monica he were breaking up after their first fight. It's going to take him a while, with his self worth and fear of rejection, to fully accept that this thing is forever.