#Friends to #Partners KuKu AT 2 - Page 70

Originally posted by: PureDrivenSnow

I see your point. I was thinking about the Kubir convo after the garba. He says a few things that do make her think. But, yes, more often than not, it's just the comfort of having someone hear her out.
I love the Kubir you describe but I'm not sure if they're the same anymore. It seems like Abir will be helping kuhu out (that's if he does/can) just to protect Mishti. I mean he's right in doing so - kam se kam koi toh apne priorities samjhe *cough Kunal cough*.


@bold:
I used to think maybe if MishKu just heard each other out but I think their too far apart. Mishti's way of dealing Kuhu just doesnt work. I always knew abir would be the one to provide a forum for Kuhu to safely express what she's feeling and maybe why, in future.
Kunal is kuhus 'Hero' but not the go-to guy which is quite concerning really.
But the problem is, as mentioned by dreamgal, how she starts to control her emotions. She needs a way to break the chain of thoughts when she's triggered and I don't know if being able to have a decent convo with Abir once in a blue moon will help permanently.
If it's a constant, we may see her moving forward gradually. Otherwise it'll have to be something drastic that happens.

@green: I think that scene after the garba was their most important interaction. It was what took their relationship to another level because he said a few things that made her think and she said a few things (in the car) that made him think about his own relationship as well (a promising thread that was unfortunately dropped immediately). It was the first time they didn't really finish the conversation on a light note. That car ride was the first time we got a glimpse into Kuhu's rich inner world -- how she thinks about things, and what motivates her decisions. Then we got the pre-KC shopping scene which rounded it out. This is a girl who is capable of making the right decisions if only she feels *empowered* in doing so.

She is not a moral absolutist, and avoiding confrontation and keeping peace takes priority over any abstract notions of right and wrong. It doesn't mean she doesn't understand when she is wrong, but there have been too many instances where she hasn't gotten credit for doing the right thing, and she's watched other people either not get called out, or in fact get credit for doing the wrong thing but miraculously having it work out (the divorce truth revelation being the most recent example), that her conscience short-circuited and is now absolutely fried. As a result, she's in a "forget right and wrong, I'm looking out for #1"/survival mode.

They way I see it, what Abir provided yesterday was a space in which she could do the right thing and it was actually validated instead of punished -- an important first step towards restoring balance in her mental state and her moral compass.

@blue: Spot on! This is exactly where I see a huge gap in Kuhu's support system and precisely why she is unable to get a handle on her trigger-responses -- there is absolutely no dearth of triggers and very little positivity flowing in to contradict it. I absolutely loved Varsha's hands-off approach when it was just Kuhu in RV house -- it allowed her to forge the relationships she has now. But at this point, when Varsha knows Kuhu is teetering emotionally because of Mishti's presence and knows that Jasmeet is filling her ears with negativity, why not be proactive about counteracting that instead of just shouting at Jasmeet? Why not call Kuhu every day and fill her ears with how well she is doing and how great her life is? But the writing won't accomodate that because they have to fuel Kuhu's insecurities to a. create drama and b. use her as a foil for Mishti who will react or at least appear to react "ideally" every time Kuhu falters.

Now finally coming to Kunal. I know he's getting a lot of brickbats for his subpar husband performance, but it's so in character that it doesn't surprise or totally disappoint me. Kunal is (rightfully, based on the information he has) confused about how much Kuhu has changed since their marriage became real. She is the one who talked him off the ledge when his Mishti-hate was becoming self-desructive so it's going to take some time for him to understand that the person who was so stable, sensible and patient in his case could be so volatile when her own triggers arise. Kunal is very by-the-book (something DQ says all the time), and according to the agreement they made when burning the divorce papers, Kuhu was supposed to take the lead in their marriage.

This is actually what gives me the slightest smidgen of hope for their story (which we will have to read between the lines to get, if we get it at all). Kunal is sort of floundering around with his sporadic attempts (the Bhuj trip, the kiss) because Kuhu is preoccupied with other things. The true test for Kunal comes when he knows the truth, and that Kuhu kept it from him. I would love to be pleasantly surprised by a Kunal who takes a stand, but even more than that, I want the post-marriage Kuhu who'll let loose and give him a piece of her mind.

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Oh no!! It's not a show that can be binge-watched and I am a binge-watcher. I had nothing to do after my exams had gotten over and I decided to start a new show. I watched some 8 or 9 episodes on the first day and by the end of it, I couldn't feel anything. So, I never watch more than 2 episodes in a day, rather a week.

I am still holding out on the season 4 finale. I need to prepared to handle the emotions.

I'm not really an emotional person or I never was. In fact my sisters would say I'm emotionally defunct but I think my age is catching up on me.😆

Jack gets me every time. When I see the kind of father he is to his kids it gets me emotional. Jack-Kate scenes ruin me! I think it's personal; father-child relationships are a weak point for me.

The story and characters in This is Us is treated with respect which is something that will always be missing in ITV shows. I especially love that no characters' feelings are invalidated just because the intention is good.

For example, in this show, Kuhu feels the way she does because she suffered when she was a kid. Maybe the intention of the Mah's was never to make her feel neglected and let's say they didn't (I get the impression they had unintenionally pushed her away on some occasions) but that's not the way Kuhu sees it; its not her truth. The way ITV deals with this is by making elders spew shitty dialogues like 'you are both equal and we love you both equally' or 'we've never favoured one over the other' like that explanation seals it. Kuhu is told what she feels is completely wrong. No! The way she feels is still valid because she's felt it/is feeling it! The writing here is manipulative (@sam: 😉 I'm learning). We're supposed to think Kuhu is 'wrong'.

Compare that with This is Us. I'm not good with words so I'll mention a scene/storyline from the show which explains what I'm saying better. *SPOILER ALERT* When the family meet Kevin in rehab, he tries to explain why he is the way he is and what he felt growing up; that was his truth. Rebecca explains what she felt and saw which is different to Kevin's perspective; that's her truth. In the end, they're both not wrong for feeling the way they did. Rebecca admits, they both saw things differently but that's okay. And that's the start of their new relationship, so to speak.

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@green: I think that scene after the garba was their most important interaction. It was what took their relationship to another level because he said a few things that made her think and she said a few things (in the car) that made him think about his own relationship as well (a promising thread that was unfortunately dropped immediately). It was the first time they didn't really finish the conversation on a light note. That car ride was the first time we got a glimpse into Kuhu's rich inner world -- how she thinks about things, and what motivates her decisions. Then we got the pre-KC shopping scene which rounded it out. This is a girl who is capable of making the right decisions if only she feels *empowered* in doing so.

She is not a moral absolutist, and avoiding confrontation and keeping peace takes priority over any abstract notions of right and wrong. It doesn't mean she doesn't understand when she is wrong, but there have been too many instances where she hasn't gotten credit for doing the right thing, and she's watched other people either not get called out, or in fact get credit for doing the wrong thing but miraculously having it work out (the divorce truth revelation being the most recent example), that her conscience short-circuited and is now absolutely fried. As a result, she's in a "forget right and wrong, I'm looking out for #1"/survival mode.

They way I see it, what Abir provided yesterday was a space in which she could do the right thing and it was actually validated instead of punished -- an important first step towards restoring balance in her mental state and her moral compass.

@blue: Spot on! This is exactly where I see a huge gap in Kuhu's support system and precisely why she is unable to get a handle on her trigger-responses -- there is absolutely no dearth of triggers and very little positivity flowing in to contradict it. I absolutely loved Varsha's hands-off approach when it was just Kuhu in RV house -- it allowed her to forge the relationships she has now. But at this point, when Varsha knows Kuhu is teetering emotionally because of Mishti's presence and knows that Jasmeet is filling her ears with negativity, why not be proactive about counteracting that instead of just shouting at Jasmeet? Why not call Kuhu every day and fill her ears with how well she is doing and how great her life is? But the writing won't accomodate that because they have to fuel Kuhu's insecurities to a. create drama and b. use her as a foil for Mishti who will react or at least appear to react "ideally" every time Kuhu falters.

Now finally coming to Kunal. I know he's getting a lot of brickbats for his subpar husband performance, but it's so in character that it doesn't surprise or totally disappoint me. Kunal is (rightfully, based on the information he has) confused about how much Kuhu has changed since their marriage became real. She is the one who talked him off the ledge when his Mishti-hate was becoming self-desructive so it's going to take some time for him to understand that the person who was so stable, sensible and patient in his case could be so volatile when her own triggers arise. Kunal is very by-the-book (something DQ says all the time), and according to the agreement they made when burning the divorce papers, Kuhu was supposed to take the lead in their marriage.

This is actually what gives me the slightest smidgen of hope for their story (which we will have to read between the lines to get, if we get it at all). Kunal is sort of floundering around with his sporadic attempts (the Bhuj trip, the kiss) because Kuhu is preoccupied with other things. The true test for Kunal comes when he knows the truth, and that Kuhu kept it from him. I would love to be pleasantly surprised by a Kunal who takes a stand, but even more than that, I want the post-marriage Kuhu who'll let loose and give him a piece of her mind.

I feel like I have so much to say but I don't have any words to express.

This post made me feel so calm for some reason. You have such a way with words, Sam!! And plus the perspectives you (and DQ!) bring👏.

The understanding of the characters and story is so in-depth that it leaves me stumped every time. Oooof! I've become a fan😆

I don't really know if I have much to add here. I still don't have words. Wow! I'll come back tomorrow and respond. Goodnight all!🙈

Originally posted by: PureDrivenSnow

I'm not really an emotional person or I never was. In fact my sisters would say I'm emotionally defunct but I think my age is catching up on me.😆

Jack gets me every time. When I see the kind of father he is to his kids it gets me emotional. Jack-Kate scenes ruin me! I think it's personal; father-child relationships are a weak point for me.

The story and characters in This is Us is treated with respect which is something that will always be missing in ITV shows. I especially love that no characters' feelings are invalidated just because the intention is good.

For example, in this show, Kuhu feels the way she does because she suffered when she was a kid. Maybe the intention of the Mah's was never to make her feel neglected and let's say they didn't (I get the impression they had unintenionally pushed her away on some occasions) but that's not the way Kuhu sees it; its not her truth. The way ITV deals with this is by making elders spew shitty dialogues like 'you are both equal and we love you both equally' or 'we've never favoured one over the other' like that explanation seals it. Kuhu is told what she feels is completely wrong. No! The way she feels is still valid because she's felt it/is feeling it! The writing here is manipulative (@sam: 😉 I'm learning). We're supposed to think Kuhu is 'wrong'.

Compare that with This is Us. I'm not good with words so I'll mention a scene/storyline from the show which explains what I'm saying better. *SPOILER ALERT* When the family meet Kevin in rehab, he tries to explain why he is the way he is and what he felt growing up; that was his truth. Rebecca explains what she felt and saw which is different to Kevin's perspective; that's her truth. In the end, they're both not wrong for feeling the way they did. Rebecca admits, they both saw things differently but that's okay. And that's the start of their new relationship, so to speak.

This is so true!!!😵

@Aqua and Snow: I could not be more psyched about the This Is Us discussion! When I still had hope for Kuhu and Mishti's relationship to be dealt with in a nuanced way, Kevin and Randall's relationship was the model I wanted it to emulate. You start the show thinking one is the long-suffering, dependable one and one the unlikeable brat, but as the characters develop you realise they both have likeable and unlikeable sides to them, and both have experienced their common childhood in vastly different ways. Like you said Snow, the way out of Kevin's downward spiral was his family acknowledging his problems and feelings, not dismissing them as "wrong" and punishing him.

I don't want to give away too much because I don't want to spoil anything, but I just LOVE that the writers of TIU aren't afraid to make their most beloved characters deeply unlikeable at certain moments. So few shows, in any language really, have the courage to create sustained drama purely through convincing emotional conflict.

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@green: I think that scene after the garba was their most important interaction. It was what took their relationship to another level because he said a few things that made her think and she said a few things (in the car) that made him think about his own relationship as well (a promising thread that was unfortunately dropped immediately). It was the first time they didn't really finish the conversation on a light note. That car ride was the first time we got a glimpse into Kuhu's rich inner world -- how she thinks about things, and what motivates her decisions. Then we got the pre-KC shopping scene which rounded it out. This is a girl who is capable of making the right decisions if only she feels *empowered* in doing so.

She is not a moral absolutist, and avoiding confrontation and keeping peace takes priority over any abstract notions of right and wrong. It doesn't mean she doesn't understand when she is wrong, but there have been too many instances where she hasn't gotten credit for doing the right thing, and she's watched other people either not get called out, or in fact get credit for doing the wrong thing but miraculously having it work out (the divorce truth revelation being the most recent example), that her conscience short-circuited and is now absolutely fried. As a result, she's in a "forget right and wrong, I'm looking out for #1"/survival mode.

They way I see it, what Abir provided yesterday was a space in which she could do the right thing and it was actually validated instead of punished -- an important first step towards restoring balance in her mental state and her moral compass.

@blue: Spot on! This is exactly where I see a huge gap in Kuhu's support system and precisely why she is unable to get a handle on her trigger-responses -- there is absolutely no dearth of triggers and very little positivity flowing in to contradict it. I absolutely loved Varsha's hands-off approach when it was just Kuhu in RV house -- it allowed her to forge the relationships she has now. But at this point, when Varsha knows Kuhu is teetering emotionally because of Mishti's presence and knows that Jasmeet is filling her ears with negativity, why not be proactive about counteracting that instead of just shouting at Jasmeet? Why not call Kuhu every day and fill her ears with how well she is doing and how great her life is? But the writing won't accomodate that because they have to fuel Kuhu's insecurities to a. create drama and b. use her as a foil for Mishti who will react or at least appear to react "ideally" every time Kuhu falters.

Now finally coming to Kunal. I know he's getting a lot of brickbats for his subpar husband performance, but it's so in character that it doesn't surprise or totally disappoint me. Kunal is (rightfully, based on the information he has) confused about how much Kuhu has changed since their marriage became real. She is the one who talked him off the ledge when his Mishti-hate was becoming self-desructive so it's going to take some time for him to understand that the person who was so stable, sensible and patient in his case could be so volatile when her own triggers arise. Kunal is very by-the-book (something DQ says all the time), and according to the agreement they made when burning the divorce papers, Kuhu was supposed to take the lead in their marriage.

This is actually what gives me the slightest smidgen of hope for their story (which we will have to read between the lines to get, if we get it at all). Kunal is sort of floundering around with his sporadic attempts (the Bhuj trip, the kiss) because Kuhu is preoccupied with other things. The true test for Kunal comes when he knows the truth, and that Kuhu kept it from him. I would love to be pleasantly surprised by a Kunal who takes a stand, but even more than that, I want the post-marriage Kuhu who'll let loose and give him a piece of her mind.

@bold: I have a theory on Varsha. I think she's just as nervous and frantic as Kuhu is. This I got from her convo with BM - Varsha is worried. She's aware of the Mishku equation but needs Kuhu so prove herself one more time. She has accepted that Mishti is in the same house as Kuhu; there's nothing she can do about that. But she needs Kuhu to step up and continue to be the Kuhu the RV's are proud of. She needs Kuhu to excel in the presence of Mishti despite her insecurities (varsha says to BM that Mishti can't be stand up for Kuhu for Kuhu to feel secure and happy) because if not, it's going to wind up the same as when they were at the Mah's. Varsha has fought hard for her daughter, the last thing she wants is for it to all go to waste. I agree, the biggest obstacle is to try and get that through to Kuhu. I'm shocked at how lenient Mah's are with Jasmeet. First, they fail to address her pain and suffering. Then they just tell her to shut her trap and keep apologising on her behalf. They're like blumin' zombies, I swear.

@italics: Yes! I think it just hurts to see Kuhu struggling alone while Kunal looks on from afar. We've, I've, become restless and lost perspective. It's bound to take Kunal time to clock on. I think it's also because we don't have their seperate track anymore. Every scene is tied to the leads.

I completely agree about Varsha -- she constantly needs Kuhu's behavior to validate her parenting, and that puts a lot of additional pressure on Kuhu. When she feels secure and confident, Kuhu naturally emulates Varsha and the whole bahu thing is a piece of cake, but with Mishti in the picture, Kuhu starts second guessing herself, overthinking every situation, and becomes her own worst enemy.

Varsha trained Kuhu to tolerate the inequality in the Maheshwari house, get married and leave as soon as possible, and really shine in her sasural. She did not really teach Kuhu to resolve those issues -- just to put up with them long enough to find an escape route. Everything was going according to plan, but the one thing she didn't account for is Kuhu ending up in the same sasural as Mishti, with all the baggage that carries. Both she and BM are panicking because they did not prepare for this eventuality and just pushed the girls into the deep end.

The way the Maheshwaris gaslight Jasmeet is truly horrifying. She is the perfect argument for why women should have the means to live independently if they need to. 😳

I am totally with you on watching Kuhu struggle alone. It's no fun, and even worse when we have no idea of how/when it's ever going to improve. Unfortunately the pattern with Kuku is that the worst phases in their story come when they are directly involved in the leads' plotline, and the best moments come when the leads have something else to deal with, like baba, the break-up or Nishant. Until we have any kind of external angle, I'm pretty sure Kuku will continue to hover in the periphery until they cause some drama, and will have a one-on-one scene every ten episodes or so.

Precap is too bad 😳

Hi guys

So Kunal and Kuhu are over for me. I will continue to monitor the AT to have a place for discussion about Kuku. I can no longer tolerate the scapegoating of two well-written characters just to make the leads great!

Hello. I'm a silent reader of this AT and have been greatly disheartened with how the show is going. My favourites are #KuKu but the way they are being butchered to make M look mahan is so heart-breaking.