Schism , a very interesting word in the English language which defines two different sections , to different pathways , two opposing flows in a subject/ person.
That is where Maya is. She is not confused, she is not in denial ; she is at a schism. Her uni-dimensional suffering, anger, grief, insanity, hatred and vengeful personality has SPILT /DIVERGED into a second Maya. Maya who is intensely in love with Rudra - who is sensitive, feminine, compassionate, caring and a spoonful of chocolate mousse who sees him as her knight in shining armour to guard her and her fortress of war. The black side, still full of hatred refuses to trip over the white side that loves Rudra and wants to stay dedicated to him as a loving wife.
It was clear in today's episode and we got clarity on Maya's inner sides through her monologues. The beautiful beautiful song played in the beginning when Rudra was in recovery talks of hope, love, unity for a woman who has changed because she has been touched by love ; a woman who is looking forward to a second chance in love that has come so beautifully to her. And when she goes to touch him, the hard reality hits her. The wound that destroyed her 10 years ago, the suffering and repressed pain she has lived with night and day only to see her tormentors burn reminded Maya that you may love Rudra , but he is not for you. Dark, destroyed , contaminated by hatred and revenge , how can you love Rudra? How can you drag him into your darkness? You are finished, how can you finish him? THAT hit Maya's guts and she realized that she is at a point of no return and letting Rudra in would mean , making him sure shot victim in the line of fire. And for the second time in her life ( after Nandini) , Maya wants to protect someone... BUT FROM HERSELF. Life is calling , Maya hears the call but she runs away. This time, for Rudra. For his sake.
Maya's questions to God that followed were valid and they remind you of the irony of destiny. When Maya was pure, naive, full of love and all heart, there was no Rudra. There was only abuse, hatred, rejection and death. When Maya was looking for her Prince Charming; Rudra didn't walk into her life, a fatally attractive demon came in as Prince Harming. Today, when she is destroyed, destructive, treading dark paths, bathed in someone's blood and waiting to die after her revenge is complete; Rudra has walked in. To give her everything that the 21 year old girl was looking for. She wants to hope, she wants to love , she wants to live a happy life with him, but it is too late as per her. She is bathed in someone's blood, she is out to kill and destroy and she is out to avenge her suffering. As intense is her love for Rudra, the intensity of her devastated soul is no less. She is attached to BOTH the wings of her life , but she chooses revenge and decides to let Rudra go. Because she believes she deserves her justice, her pound of flesh to breathe in peace , to achieve karmic balance with MJ and clan. Because she believes that Rudra is too pure to be blackened by her darkness and his light will never absorb her bloodied vengeful shadow. In her head, she is saving Rudra from what he doesn't deserve to see.
So, totally in love with Rudra, Maya , a marathon champion by now... runs away, once again.
Only to be blocked by Rudra. Perhaps Maya didn't absorb what Rudra said to her completely and what he meant. Rudra is soul-hinged to Maya. Good or bad, in darkness or light, in life or death, on earth or sky, he is never letting go of her. She can run a million times and Rudra will find her and bring her back to himself. Maya doesn't understand it yet , fully. Rudra doesn't only love Maya ; he is hinged to her and for him, this entwining is forever. There is no Rudra without Maya and there is no Maya without Rudra - that has become the defining emotion of this Rumi-fied lover. He drags her back to the same place where she was complaining and cribbing to Lord Shiva a night ago that why has Rudra come to her life at the wrong time? Through Rudra, the divine forces answer her that in her darkness or her light , in her life or her death, in her senses or in the absence of the same, a divine bond has tied Rudra to Maya and she cannot reject herself from him or reject him. Rudra was never supposed to be a Prince Charming who would sweep you off your feet. He was always destined to be the Soul Saviour that you will need when you are at your darkest and your lowest. Rudra was always supposed to arrive in your life when you were at your worst. Yet, Maya tries to save Rudra from herself ( the ironies! Kal tak iss ladke ka khoon peena tha madam ko) , but darling, Rudra doesn't want to be saved. He would rather jump into the abyss and save your soul....
Rudra does the best that he can to convince her and then, having full faith in his love for her and her love for him, he colors her red and gives her a choice. To make that move towards him which will bind them forever. And Maya takes that step; a fallen angel who has suddenly got wings of light. She lights the holy fire, and marries him. I am not going to repeat the vows here as I cannot do justice to the amazing dialogue writing; but all in all, the vows meant that light (Rudra) and dark (Maya) have married and arrived in a twilight zone, where Light has promised to save darkness and darkness has promised to protect light from it's shadows. Big vows were made and now, both of them have to stand up to them when the tests of fire come.
At the tail of it all , two things stand out :
1. Rudra has made an unbreakable vow to Maya without knowing what it will be. And he will keep it irrespective of the future of this relationship. Whatever Maya asks him for, Rudra will deliver it. Why? Because it is Maya. Yes, even if he goes off the wagon or has already gone off the wagon.
2. Maya has made a skywalk between her love for Rudra and her hatred for MJ and troupe. She believes that Rudra is her armour, her home because he loves her and she loves him and she can quarantine that from her revenge from MJ. She is marrying two worlds into one and no, Maya, you cannot protect Rudra from that darkness - he has to go through it.
All in all, a fab episode. Has repeat value and I am a fangirl of the dialogue writer. Wow!
P.S- Ananya should be shown a clip of Maya holding the wardboy , threatening him with a pair of surgical scissors when it came to Rudra. Maybe that will help the girl stay at her home. No? đ¤
