Family vs Family - Page 2

Originally posted by: cutepigs

I have just one question which keeps making me stop and wonder..

Abir chose his family over Mishti, even if blackmail was the reason, he chose his family and their happiness and he wants Mishti to understand that.. Mishti never reached out to Kuhu also to find out what happened, it was all between Abir and Mishti..

But now Mishti is doing the same, again whatever her reasons, she is choosing her family over Abir, but Abir wants her to not to do that, and he is ready to go to the extent of telling Nishant to back off, taking Kuhu's help and according to spoilers, running away with her...

How is Abir a nice guy then? He has nothing to lose anymore, his brother knows the truth, he hates his mother and rest everyone is happy with him and Mishti, it is because of him and his family that people are taunting Mishti also.. But Mishti? Her parents abandoned her and these people gave her the family she was craving for, supported her in all her decisions, good and bad, but she is ready to abandon them for Abir, who left her before for his family... I am sorry but none of these come out as good people, or someone anyone should be dreaming of finding and falling in love with.. Mishti can ask for more time, or talk to her family, but the way she is behaving right now also, she is just insulting everyone around, her family and her best friend..

Ok ......I am getting where you are coming from and the questions are genuine👍🏼

I never thought chosing family over your love is a bad thing. Many people actualy do that when they think they will have something more to lose.

Abir's mistake was that he broke up with Mishti one sidedly without giving her a closure.And Mishti had to cope up with the sudden curveball life threw at her. One thing that can be said in Abir's defense is he understands Mishti pretty well to know that she would have never agreed to this decision and would have fought for their relation until she could. Hence, he opted for a clean break instead of further discussions.

Mishti is now in the same situation. Chosing family over love. Before today this decision was the right one for her because she was not aware of Abir's truth. After today it will be more difficult for her to convince herself. But I dnt think she has done anything wrong till now. She came because she thought Abir was in danger not because of her uncontrollable hormones and not to enjoy the last night before her marriage. She has genuine feelings for this guy....so its expected she will come.

Coming to Abir compelling her.....he is just asking her to make a decision not kidnapping her because he knows mishti is not choosing nishant over Abir but she is actually chosing her family. So why shouldn't he compel her to change her mind when he know the consequences he faced when he made the same decision. Will Mishti be ever able to forget Abir and move on ??? Wouldn't that be unfair to Nishant?? If Mishti was truly in love with Nishant I dnt think he would have bothered to change her mind. So he is taking a chance here which Mishti would also have done if she was aware abt the truth during breakup.

Regarding cheating her family and Nishant I dnt think anybody is innocent here. Every single one of them walked into this decision with their eyes open. Infact Nishant knows Mishti still loves Abir eventhough she claims she wants to move on(which is true...she wants to but heart and mind doesn't always agree😆). Plus he is also deceiving her by not being transparent about his feelings and not giving her a fair option to chose between him and abir by laying out all truths. Same case with the family unit. They are subtly threatening her by making her solely responsible for family's happiness and if at all the rishta breaks she will tagged a homebreaker. What is the girl supposed to do??

After knowing Abir's truth she will still go ahead with the marriage plans because it is supposedly the rishta that will hold the family together.....Too much pressure if you ask me.

And she is a human too not a robot .....she just got to knw abt something that was hounding her for the past 3 mnths. After her initial relapse....she thought about Nishant and moved away. Like wise I have faith she will make a decision in time and own it whatever be the decision. She is not going to run away without informing anyone if that's the concern.

Plus all these characters are not perfect ....least of all Mishti and Abir.....infact they are the most emotionally unbalanced. They tend to think about others and mostly keep others above their own happiness which tends to lead to most of the problems in their life. Whether this behaviour is right or wrong is subjective since people are different and their life experiences make them different.

PS ..😊 The post got long. I hope you are able to understand my thoughts....

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

I had to post earlier in a rush. So I am posting in detail now. Great points on this thread and the other one I posted above. I think this show has a lot to offer but the makers keep shying from tackling the key problems. 👎🏼

Firstly, Abir. They should address his sense of entitlement.He is the way he is because nanu played the good cop more than he should have. Bigben had very few resources at hand to discipline him. We need to remember she had to forever be prepared for Mehul to make an appearance. The writers should address Abir’s need for absconding, WITHOUT involving Mishti. They should show that Abir struggled with the high demands that Bigben placed on him and how he working through that now. This habit of packing his bags should stop. He should start balancing his relationships. How does he afford this lifestyle? He does not draw a huge salary from the NGO one would hope. A single phone tracking app cannot be that profitable. He needs to turn up at the family business more. There is so much meat to exploit here. Dear Makers, show us a redemption where Abir starts to see his mother’s point of view. How she made it in a man’s world. There is very little fun in showing us a vamp mother in law. Instead a son who started to see his mother’s point of view will be more fun. One who teams with his half-brother to manage Bigben’s insecurities. Imagine how entertaining that would be. (They should have done that while Mishti was in London… but better late than never). I don’t want to see a weak limpy (no GM 😈 ) male lead. Do something worthwhile with the Bigben’s character.

Mishti’s character and her rock bottom self-worth has all the underpinnings of someone who would look for this addiction sort of love.One that keeps her image intact in her mind. The image of the “perfect” person that various foster family members have created in her mind. At one point they gave her a great dialogue - Abir taught her to accept love and accept her family. I never saw that happen. But even if we assume it did happen, the makers should show her confident enough to tell her family that she still loves Abir and now that he is ready to made amends, she would want to marry him. She needs to stop the jaap of “main sahee thee”. It’s okay to be right and still not be praised a gazillion times for it Mishti! Think again, are you sure you want the roller coaster that Abir is? Because your elders will ask you that question. Please own your love story. Don’t expect others to run it for you

Just to add on about Abir's entitlement, this had been consistent from the beginning. Any normal person would have self doubt in the beginnings when verbal declarations had not been made. But Abir understood mishti loves him from diary entries of poetry and balloon appreciation. In the next few days when his friend asks how's my dress, He happily zips up his 'friend' with no awkwardness. After mere few hours of rescuing a girl from an assault, he becomes insensitive, holds her hand and says he won't let go. Any women would be traumatized and would react to any man near her. And now with just few situations he is completely sure of mishti's affections for him.

Mishti has such problems with self worth for love. It did not even occur to her that abir could love her. Inspite of seeing the painting, hearing him talk about her, she still wondered to herself how can abir love her. Post leap, she needed assurance or confirmation of abir's love. Only with his love could she go and arrange the bus proposal. When mishti was in sacrificing mode for kuhus wedding, she went about in similar manner like she is now with very little agency or active decision. Then Abir chased her to airport shook her out of her self inflicted idiocy. Same would be repeated now again but just with higher stakes.

They are an interesting pair; dare I say good match and hopefully balance out each other.

Mishti's self worth makes sense given her childhood. It would be good tv to see her grow.

P S. Happy that writers have at least maintained the abir's entitlement and mishti's low self worth consistent.

@ruhi - I can count on one hand the number of people who agree on MA's characterization with me. You are one of them! Spot on.

Originally posted by: Ruhi.007

Just to add on about Abir's entitlement, this had been consistent from the beginning. Any normal person would have self doubt in the beginnings when verbal declarations had not been made. But Abir understood mishti loves him from diary entries of poetry and balloon appreciation. In the next few days when his friend asks how's my dress, He happily zips up his 'friend' with no awkwardness. After mere few hours of rescuing a girl from an assault, he becomes insensitive, holds her hand and says he won't let go. Any women would be traumatized and would react to any man near her. And now with just few situations he is completely sure of mishti's affections for him.

Mishti has such problems with self worth for love. It did not even occur to her that abir could love her. Inspite of seeing the painting, hearing him talk about her, she still wondered to herself how can abir love her. Post leap, she needed assurance or confirmation of abir's love. Only with his love could she go and arrange the bus proposal. When mishti was in sacrificing mode for kuhus wedding, she went about in similar manner like she is now with very little agency or active decision. Then Abir chased her to airport shook her out of her self inflicted idiocy. Same would be repeated now again but just with higher stakes.

They are an interesting pair; dare I say good match and hopefully balance out each other.

Mishti's self worth makes sense given her childhood. It would be good tv to see her grow.

P S. Happy that writers have at least maintained the abir's entitlement and mishti's low self worth consistent.

Interesting post......Agree with ur analysis of mishti👍🏼

Abir I dnt knw if entitlement is the right word....maybe I am still trying to decode what makes him click😊

Originally posted by: The_incredible

Mishti is being into a loveless relation,Abir doesn't want Mish to marry Nish becoz here three lives r being destroyed together..Mishti is in love with Abir and Nish is going to be suffered..that's what Abir thinks..today h told her that no matter what she decides he will always love Mishti..that is Abir..the decision of marriage was not Abir's ..so how come Abir is being bad here..

People are obessed with Nish that they always find Abir wrong..in my opinion Mish running away is truly a good option..and I'm sure bm and bp will understand..and insulting which family??u feel that Mish is a part of that family which wanted her to sacrifice her love for Kuhu,who thinks that if nish's heartbreak happens,then the reason would be Mish..except for bm,I don't think no body in mah family deserves Mish..they r clearly ignoring Mish's unhappiness..so she should be unhappy all the lyf just for her family..u r clearly saying that she should repay mahs for their love..

Only Abir loves and cares for Mishti truly and mishbir belong to each other🤗

🤗

Yes ..u said it 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️

Originally posted by: The_incredible

Mishti is being into a loveless relation,Abir doesn't want Mish to marry Nish becoz here three lives r being destroyed together..Mishti is in love with Abir and Nish is going to be suffered..that's what Abir thinks..today h told her that no matter what she decides he will always love Mishti..that is Abir..the decision of marriage was not Abir's ..so how come Abir is being bad here..

People are obessed with Nish that they always find Abir wrong..in my opinion Mish running away is truly a good option..and I'm sure bm and bp will understand..and insulting which family??u feel that Mish is a part of that family which wanted her to sacrifice her love for Kuhu,who thinks that if nish's heartbreak happens,then the reason would be Mish..except for bm,I don't think no body in mah family deserves Mish..they r clearly ignoring Mish's unhappiness..so she should be unhappy all the lyf just for her family..u r clearly saying that she should repay mahs for their love..

Only Abir loves and cares for Mishti truly and mishbir belong to each other🤗

🤗

Thanks for this.See earlier too I told in the forum as well that in order to make Mishbir happen Makers will ruin Nannu's character too and they did.And honestly Abir actually chose the right path by simply saying nannu to back off since that was the only thing that could have brought the least issues but Nannu played the game and now he'll have to face it.

Abir just not only told Nannu to back off but also cleared out the reason since NishMish was not going to bring happiness in anyone's life.Again Abir is didn't tell Mishti that she has to chose him.He just told him not to make his friend suffer with this loveless marriage.I am sure,if any of them had backed out,Abir would have first patched up with BM-BP.

It isnt about anyone backing down.. look at this, not from the lense of this being Abir and mishti's love story where in the end they'll ruin everyone's character to show their steps right, but from the perspective of real life... what does this tell you? Parents can emotionally manipulate their children? Kids can take everything for granted and ruin their families for love?

Maybe for me this topic is personally biased, though with my experience, I should be on Abir and Mishti choosing each other side.. I was in love with someone who never told his family about us and one fine day chose them, giving me no choice and didnt even look back to see the carnage it caused.. I fought depression, sometimes still get upset and end up crying.. But inspite of that, i dont think lying to your family will ever bring happiness in a long lasting form.. i didnt tell my parents what i was going through, but it barely took them time to figure out , and we talked about it and my parents decided to give me time to heal.. that's my problem with this scenario.. they are showing talking to parents wrong, they are showing emotionally manipulative parents, and that's a wrong message to give out to anyone... I have been where Mishti is, and I know her marrying Nishant is wrong, she has no right to ruin his life, but they need to show her speaking up to her parents without coming off as a bechari with the weight of the whole world on her shoulders.. she needs to acknowledge she is broken and cant complete anyone till she is whole, be it Abir or Nishant.. Today if my ex came back and apologized, I would be dying to give him a chance because I know what it felt like living with him and then without him, but I know even I'll ask him to first prove to my parents he wont leave me again, because I'll trust them to choose my happiness..

I dont know, maybe this hits a personal cord that makes me hate Abir and mishti's actions far more than Nishant 's...

Originally posted by: cutepigs

It isnt about anyone backing down.. look at this, not from the lense of this being Abir and mishti's love story where in the end they'll ruin everyone's character to show their steps right, but from the perspective of real life... what does this tell you? Parents can emotionally manipulate their children? Kids can take everything for granted and ruin their families for love?

Maybe for me this topic is personally biased, though with my experience, I should be on Abir and Mishti choosing each other side.. I was in love with someone who never told his family about us and one fine day chose them, giving me no choice and didnt even look back to see the carnage it caused.. I fought depression, sometimes still get upset and end up crying.. But inspite of that, i dont think lying to your family will ever bring happiness in a long lasting form.. i didnt tell my parents what i was going through, but it barely took them time to figure out , and we talked about it and my parents decided to give me time to heal.. that's my problem with this scenario.. they are showing talking to parents wrong, they are showing emotionally manipulative parents, and that's a wrong message to give out to anyone... I have been where Mishti is, and I know her marrying Nishant is wrong, she has no right to ruin his life, but they need to show her speaking up to her parents without coming off as a bechari with the weight of the whole world on her shoulders.. she needs to acknowledge she is broken and cant complete anyone till she is whole, be it Abir or Nishant.. Today if my ex came back and apologized, I would be dying to give him a chance because I know what it felt like living with him and then without him, but I know even I'll ask him to first prove to my parents he wont leave me again, because I'll trust them to choose my happiness..

I dont know, maybe this hits a personal cord that makes me hate Abir and mishti's actions far more than Nishant 's...

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 to you girl..i know.how it hurts bad when the guy you loved a lot never has told his parents about your relationship and just runs away from you.

Before i put my points,would like to apologise to all mishbir fandom amd my abir ki uru for my points on mishbir.

As earlier said by me and another person in the forum dont remember the person name,television and moviies mein they easily show that running away is the best option for lovers,which is wrong. Its so easy to runaway,but we.dont know the consequences of our decision which will not only ruin your life but also family.

And i am not abir hater,but from he very start i too was not happy for abir running away from his problems.before marriage when you are.not able to face the problem.,how will you face problem after marriage,especially to live with devil ,anipulative and cunning person meenu. However the gem may be the guy,but if his family members are not good and doesn't accept the girl,then their after marriage life will be hell. the girl has to keep on proving her worth to them. If i was in mishti place,a after seeing all the kaand done by meenu would have broken with abir.the to be life partner should be stable amd emotionally strong,else,the girl has to face all the s$%%%^.

I dont support bade papa decision too. He should have told the truth about the threat to mishti and abir in open.

I am neither for mishbir or nishmish rishta.i am here for nannu and ketki mishti.meenu needs a person like nishant to put her in correct place.

If mishbir has to happen,then meenu has to die,then only.their post marriage life will be happy. Sorry to say this..but truth is always bitter.

last but not least,love is not everything in the life,its part of life..araey zindagi mein kitna saara problem hey,house kareedna,loans pay karna,even to run an Ngo u need money and have to face many legal issues.

I think,only yrhpk os the only serial,where they have never shown the dining table scene,i mean breakfast par paratha/ bread khaana and juice peena..

For me food is more important yaar.🤣

On serious note we will realise our parents worth after marriage only.😭

Originally posted by: cutepigs

It isnt about anyone backing down.. look at this, not from the lense of this being Abir and mishti's love story where in the end they'll ruin everyone's character to show their steps right, but from the perspective of real life...

@cutepigs, hugs. I am so sorry you are hurting. 💔

Thanks for sharing your example here. This is precisely how feel about the situation. If elders rushed the rishta (which they did... however it's the only option they were left with), just talk. Tell them you need more time. I really really hope we get to see the same. Cant wait for the next week