1st Oct Discussion - Ajao Saray - Page 14

Originally posted by: inlieu

It's possible that Irfan is not a considerate husband, who knows?

Given that his father apparently abused NB and Ruksana doesn't seem to be strong and confident as Imarti, it would make much sense

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

Mother daughter barrier might very well be there.. But not all parents let their daughter get away for spewing venom against one and all.. That actually makes them bad parent.. Not all in-laws let their daughter or son treat their daughter-in-law like crap and pay no heed to their feelings. I am sure that my in-laws love their daughter more than me.. But that does not mean they don't respect my feelings. they make sure that if I am coming home after a hard day at work, I don't have to work for my sister in law who has come to stay here for a few days.. Thats basic human decency which the Khuranas lack..

No.. you do no and you should not learn to live with it if your in-laws are belittling your feelings at the expense of their daughter

No I'm not taking about the Daughter vs DIL comparison. I'm talking about how for in laws, no matter how much the DIL does, she's always a bahu at the end. She cannot be a daughter. Dunno I'm my putting across my point correctly. But Babita wouldn't ever be a Lovely for Ks, no matter what she does. And this will remain a fact. And this does not make Ks evil.

That is what Mini was trying to say. When Babita herself didn't stand up for her rights, how can she entirely blame Khuranas for doing grave injustice to her? They're not tally responsible cause ultimately Babita wasn't their daughter.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

I don't know how is it with y'all but I've seen this DIL barrier since a long time with my mother. And not that she's unhappy or something. You learn to live with it and eventually find happiness somewhere else. It's not that dramatically sad or something, just natural and a matter of fact for me.

I have seen a lot of women like this too and it used to strike me as strange initially because in my family you can't tell who's the bahu and who's the beti. Sometimes the bahus are even more pampered because the MILs treat them as someone's amaanat and not their property. I think as long as both sides understand that this is how they take their bond to be, then it is a type of valid relationship too. Not all MILs can become a mother and not all DILs can become a daughter. Make peace with it and just be cordial to each other.

I think girls who are brainwashed by shows that tell you that a girl must do everything to prove herself, agnipariksha, etc. indirectly shortchange themselves because they measure their own worth by what their MIL will think of them. It's important to have your own identity, and that is up to the girl's parents to raise her to have her own mind and dreams in life. That doesn't mean you need you start a world war 3 due to differences in mentality with your in-laws. It is important to strike a balance, be polite and do not expect them to be your best friend. If it happens organically, great. Otherwise, don't expect such a thing as it will only make you disappointed. Just be civil with each other, that's more than enough, instead of suffering due to pretend warmth.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

For me too!

To say that in-laws aise hi hote and that DILs need to learn how to deal with all this unnecessary crap is ridiculous. Who would even want to get married when this is the kind of family that will be awaiting them?

I think there's a reason why Ruksana kept mentioning she looks up to Babita a lot and how she has so much she has to learn from her. Ruksana may not have the courage or bravery to stand up to Irfan when he gets out of line. It seems to me like he has a bit of a temper as well. Dunno where I'm going with this, but I definitely think there's something there.

@bold: Even I felt it. She also said that they do everything for their kids. Irfan doesn't look like a bad parent (though he surely isn't keen on teach Imran what's right or wrong by using jhanjat daadi in front of him). Is it possible that she's staying or not speaking up for Imran's sake?

Or maybe we're looking too much into it because PB has spoilt us in this manner. 😆

Originally posted by: porankisrilata

Aisi kounsi cheez hogi jo Minni he hathiya li hogi... 🤔

The earrings that Dadu & Beeji had initially sent as shagun for Babita. Babita had thrown them aside as she was too enamored by the jhumke that HS had sent. So that the senior citizens don't feel too bad, Minnie lied saying that she claimed them for herself because they were so pretty.

Originally posted by: naq5

yes i saw that too. is somewhere mini resenting her lost years. her lost relationships which she lost while standing up for babita. maybe with the going away of babita ie the marriage aspect she feels she gave babita everything while she is left with nothing.

Hmm.. never thought of it like that. Now that Mickey is back, I hope we see some introspection by Minnie.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

It's the same with me.

My grandparents always treated my mom as a DIL, not a daughter. But in her case, she also treated them like in-laws, not parents.

My mom told my grandmom on her wedding day that she would now be like a daughter to her. My grandmom then told her that there was no need, cause she already had a daughter. Imagine the next 30 years or so...

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I would actually prefer it if the Khuranas choose not to go out of their own volition, for Naeem Bi's sake.

They can talk to Babita to get closure from the wedding night, and firmly decide where they all stand in their relationships right now. How do they wish to approach each other? What kind of haqs do they want to apply to each other? Etc.

That would be a perfect approach.

But too much to expect at this point.

NB needs HS and Babita more than anyone. I felt so bad for her. But she is so perceptive. She instantly caught what Irfan wanted.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

No I'm not taking about the Daughter vs DIL comparison. I'm talking about how for in laws, no matter how much the DIL does, she's always a bahu at the end. She cannot be a daughter. Dunno I'm my putting across my point correctly. But Babita wouldn't ever be a Lovely for Ks, no matter what she does. And this will remain a fact. And this does not make Ks evil.

That is what Mini was trying to say. When Babita herself didn't stand up for her rights, how can she entirely blame Khuranas for doing grave injustice to her? They're not tally responsible cause ultimately Babita wasn't their daughter.

Babita belonged to a different generation.. The idea that sasural hi tera ghar hai and there saas sasur tere maa baap was wired into her.. she couldn't have stood up for her rights because at that point, she did not even know she had those rights.. She did not want to talk to Ashok because thats the only way she knew she had..

When you get a woman married into your household, she becomes your responsibility. if you are not responsible for her, stop expecting her to take care of you as well because you if you are washing your hands off the responsibility, you do not have any rights either..

What makes Ks evil is that they let their daughter in law be shabbily treated by their daughter..

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

It's the same with me.

My grandparents always treated my mom as a DIL, not a daughter. But in her case, she also treated them like in-laws, not parents. However, the things she has done for them go above and beyond what a child would do for their own parent. It's really complicated and I don't want to go into all the details and make people uncomfortable. But I guess the point is to make the status known very clear, whether it's through words or actions. If you're going to call me your daughter, then treat me like one. Don't become hypocritical about it.

Exactly same. My mother does share disturbing facts about them. And I can safely say that she also treats them as a in laws and not parents anymore.

But the one thing I can proudly say is that my grandfather has always treated her like his own daughter and has stayed true to his word. Even above my father. That one thing is heartwarming to see. Baaki DIL MIL everyone knows lol.

Oh I get you now. So everyone's worked up with double standards of Khuranas claiming that they treated her like a daughter. Oh no why be shocked? It's always like that! Poori society hi aisi hai.

I'll call you only Gurwati now okay?🤗