Originally posted by: cheers2all
What's being fed to society over centuries of years won't change overnight. I also come from the same society. I strongly believed in some of norms that were ingrained into me during my growing up years. I remember being hauled up in a room when there were any poojas or ceremonies at home, if I was on my periods. I was told I am "impure" during those days 🙄. And I believed my folks for a very long time thinking they know better. But as years passed and I started questioning the rationale behind this, I realized the shallowness of this practice. Maybe in olden days, the rule was introduced to give women some rest during her menstrual days. But over the years the rule was manipulated based on perception and convenience. Somehow people ended up shunning women during "those" days. There are many such examples. But the point I am trying to make is, "society" will always impose a bunch of rules, but it's upto us on which ones we decide to follow. Once I started challenging some of the beliefs (not saying everything that was taught to me was wrong), I realized a lot of it doesn't hold any ground. Virginity is just another example.
I cringe everytime someone refers to women as the "weaker sex". We may be not be physically strong as men (in general), but we are much stronger than them in other departments. We are different from men, not weak. Men have written the rules, and women have followed. Quite happily, at that. It's surprising how many "women" blame a rape victim because she was wearing short clothes when it happened. Sorry, I digress. But bottomline is, I think we should question some of the rules imposed in the name of culture and society instead of blindly following them.
Now coming to your question about Arnav & Khushi from the show - Initially Khushi was flabbergasted when she came to know about Arnav & Lavanya's live in situation. But eventually she accepted it. And it was long before she even realized her love for Arnav. So yes, Khushi was definitely open minded to accept Arnav & La's relation. She didn't approve of it, but she didn't judge either of them based on their relationship. And later Khushi accepted Arnav, flaws and everything. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. During Shital track when Arnav lists his girlfriends names, she is crestfallen knowing he had so many "saheli"s. As for Arnav, I don't think he would have any issues if Khushi wasn't a virgin. In the whole Shyam fiasco, he blamed Khushi because he thought she was going behind the Raizada's back to have an affair with a married man. His feelings for her made the matter worse. His issue was with infidelity. Especially, because of his father's history. So when it came to virginity, I feel both were equally receptive of the other's past.
But in other departments, contrary to popular belief, I feel ASR changed himself a lot more than Khushi. That was evident in the Jashn series. Khushi may have changed her outward appearance and dressing style after marrying Arnav, but she was still the same old bubbly girl she always was. Whereas Arnav mellowed down quite a lot and started doing things he would have never done otherwise.
Damn! That was long.
Long or not, you definitely said some grave things.
I am not sure why women are looked down upon, but they are and expected to behave in a certain way. Ironically, that is where the whole the problem is, following the rules and not challenging the rationale behind them.
Like EC mentioned, female foeticide and skewed sex ratio, along with the rules laid down by law, everything screams unfair. But that is how its been, and will continue to be.
As for the show, I totally agree that ASR had a metamorphosis to become Arnav, and Khushi was changed only outwardly. But that's also because ASR was flawed and more real, Khushi on the other hand, was too cultured for him. However, her issue lay in her background and how she carried herself. So yep, they did get a closure there.
My question was on chastity and it being acceptable. I am more than sure that Khushi had accepted ASR openly. But I do have my reservations when it comes to Arnav. He wanted her, desired her physically too and it was very obvious right from the beginning. But he believed that women like her, do anything for money.
During the Shyam track, it was not just infidelity that he challenged. On their wedding night, he tells her that he was more than capable of giving her everything, but what she wants out of love (read Shyam) would be out of reach, pretty much explains his perspective.
Anyway, they did manage to bridge the gap and that is what is important.
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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