Added Chapter 23: All The King's Men: PreRish - Page 90 - Page 26

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Sohali19 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: .amigos.

Okay, let me be honest. I've been avoiding anything that's not a one or two shot on the forum except a very select few but everyone around me was raving about this one and I had to give in. And, boy was I hooked. The first chapter really draws you in. It's that subtle, classy aura that surrounds Bajaj. That light tinge of mystery that is neither overdone nor undercooked. That teasing hint for more. I have to say it, your Bajaj is SO SO GOOD. One of my most favorite portrayals of the character on this forum. The way you weave him, one careful layer at a time, is magnificent to witness. From the very first moment, your descriptions are so vivid and have this dark, magnetic undertone to them that keeps you so engaged. Also your writing is so crisp, especially the technical aspects of everything and the way you build the plot. Your writing also reminds me a bit of the Victorian era (absolutely love that era's work) .

The first phase is just SOO GOOD! Every move Bajaj makes is calculated and all of it comes to fruition. Some of the highlights for me are: when he's tying her saaree, omg the chemistry there is so palpable. And the scene where he offers her comfort when she's on her period, omg brilliance. Only if the show could bother with a plot half as good as this. LOL, let's not even go there. Your work is in a league of its own. I loved how you built the differences between Anurag and Prerna and the eventual downfall of that relationship. Your Anurag didn't feel as half-toned as a lot of the portrayals of that character do.

Prerna. Ah your Prerna. What can I say? She's a revelation. She's smart, she's hard-working, she's practical and she feels so tangible. Someone you can actually understand and connect with. She's someone I'd hundred percent root for. And I love the way you're carrying forward her character. The naivety, the inexperience, the rose-tinted lens is still there, but none of those qualities are off-putting because you've cushioned them so nicely with good character motivations and actions. LIKE EVERY SINGLE SCENE THAT LEADS TO NEXT IS SO WELL PLANNED <3

I think I already gushed over your Bajaj? But ANOTHER 12394955 POINT TO THE LIST: I love the infidelity point. It adds another dimension to the story and I love that.


Okay. Write more. Write soon.

Okay. What just happened?

Khawateen o hazrat, I have arrived. I have made it and this is the best it's ever gonna get. The one person who is unparalleled in her writing is telling me that I've done a great job. That's crazy and your kind words mean everything.

Now quit wasting time reading my story and update your part 2, asap.

We'd all be very grateful.

.amigos. thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: Sohali19

Okay. What just happened?

Khawateen o hazrat, I have arrived. I have made it and this is the best it's ever gonna get. The one person who is unparalleled in her writing is telling me that I've done a great job. That's crazy and your kind words mean everything.

Now quit wasting time reading my story and update your part 2, asap.

We'd all be very grateful.

HAHAHA we should open a mutual admiration club then because your skill at weaving plot and characters is unmatched.

Part two is coming. Soon.😆

sumathiaishu thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Amazing update dear

Sohali19 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Okay, pheww. I'm done with what seemed to me like a really long update. To everyone reading, the silent and the vocal ones. Thank you. I really appreciate all the lovely things being said and if they were to stop, I'd drop this story like a hot potato. Fair warning. Also, the part about the heart condition has been prompted by existing material available in the public domain. I know very little about congenital heart diseases and I wanted to make sure I didn't write some bullsh*t. I also picked up the whole 'Kuki-falling-sick-and-Bajaj-losing -it' from the show but tried to make it less generic than the 'she's-scared-of-darkness' and 'rubbing-hands-and-feet-will-cure-cancer' kind of approach.

Finally, as general point of discussion, would people want or not want to read about Rishabh's night life?


Part 17


Prerna’s life had taken on a comforting routine. She woke up most mornings thinking of Kuki, taking care of her needs and getting her ready for school before they all sat down for breakfast as a family. Once Rishabh and Kuki left, she’d make her way to college and get done with her classes by mid afternoon. She'd wait for Kuki to wake up from her after school nap, taking over from the nanny, helping her with lessons, teaching her to paint and sing and read. But mostly Prerna would spend the evenings bestowing all her love and affection on her daughter. Sometimes, her mother and sister would join them in the afternoons and they’d all play together, the house resonating with gleeful cries and laughter.

By design, Rishabh and her traversed in almost separate hemispheres, overlapping only on a need based basis. Her red-hot hatred for him had dulled to low throbbing antagonism, the love he showered on Kuki redeeming him in her eyes. When it came their daughter, Rishabh Bajaj was unwavering in his devotion. As ruthless and cold he was with the world outside, he was just as gentle and adoring with Kuki. He was an indulgent father but never overzealous. Once he was home, he took over Kuki’s responsibilities so Prerna could study. Feeding her dinner, coaxing her to have her medicines, giving her a bath, and all the things a father would do for his child. Many nights, Prerna would fall asleep in Kuki’s bed, cradling her daughter. It was in these moments where she gave as well as found comfort.

But there were those occasional moments, when sleep eluded her, and when she silently paid penance for her own duplicity and lived alone with memories that no one else shared. She might whisper Anurag's name in her thoughts, or sometimes when she was alone and lonely, the grief of his betrayal would swell up and aching, unanswered tears would spill over.

But for the most part, her days were peaceful and made joyous by Kuki’s existence.

That particular afternoon was muggy, which was odd for November, and Prerna was laying on the sofa working on her assignment waiting for Kuki to wake up. That’s when she heard it. A yelp. Like someone was squealing. She sat up slowly and strained her ears, trying to pick it up again. Then she heard it again, a low whine, followed by giggles and a mini stampede of bare feet against the floors.

Oh, this can’t be good.

She quickly shut her laptop and made her way to Kuki’s room, slamming open the door, expecting to see the room imploded or on fire, but instead Kuki was standing in the middle of the room in her pajamas, smiling innocently at Prerna.

Something was wrong.

“What’s going on, baboo? I heard a noise.” She looked around suspiciously. Everything looked just fine.

“Nothing, Mama. I just woke up." Kuki replied, shaking her head innocently, her eyes darting to the wardrobe.

Prerna frowned and stepped inside, folding her arms. “What’s going on?” She asked again, thoroughly unconvinced. Suddenly the door to the closet began to rattle and another stifled yelp came through.

“Oh my god,” She said, immediately pulling Kuki behind her. “What is that? What’s in your closet?”

For a second everything blurred and then a mangled little puppy shot out of the closet, heading straight for them, yipping wildly.

“What in the-” Prerna automatically censored, jumping out of the way. “Is that a dog?!

Kuki laughed and tried to catch it, but the puppy darted straight between their legs, zipping to the other side of the room and under the bed where it fell silent.

“How is there a puppy in this room! Where did you get a puppy? NO! Kuki, don’t try to touch it. It’s not clean!” Prerna dragged her daughter to a standstill in front of her.

“Enough! Tell me. Why is there a dog here and where did it come from?”

She grinned a happy smile at Prerna. “I’ve always wanted a doggie, Mama. And my school guard has many.”

“Kuki! You can’t – You can’t just steal someone’s pets. That’s a very wrong thing to do. We’ll have to return him to his home tomorrow and you’ll apologise!” Prerna scolded gently, mind boggled at how her pint sized kid had managed to kidnap a dog without anyone noticing.

“I didn’t steal Tubby!” Kuki said,her voice muffled. “Guard uncle gave him to me. He said he’ll always stay this small and so he can stay in my room forever, mama. Please mama, please, please!”

Prerna felt torn. It was really hard to say no to that sweet begging and cute scrunched up face, dimples making it twice as impossible.

“He’s a stray dog, Kuki. He’ll only grow bigger, much bigger than this. We can’t keep him here, baccha.”

“Yes, we can!” Kuki yelled. “I won’t let you take him away. I won’t!"

She put her head in her hands and sighed. For crying out loud. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to Rishabh. Something told her that a bounding, excited, untrained pup running about the house was not going to thrill Rishabh Bajaj.

But he most likely was not going to make an appearance tonight. It was Friday. Which meant, of course, that she was going to have to deal with Tubby until the next morning.

God, I’m already calling this pup by its name.

“Okay, we’ll see what to do about him. But he can’t be here in your room today. I’ll ask Kishan Bhaiyya to take Tubby to the garden and in the meantime why don’t we go take bath? And then some study time, okay?” Kuki nodded dutifully and followed Prerna into the washroom, oblivious to her mother’s doggy dilemma.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She woke up with a start to loud pounding on the door, immediately sitting up, sending her laptop askew.

“Prerna!” Rishabh’s voice boomed from the other side of the door as he knocked harshly again. “I need to speak with you. Now.”

“He’s found Tubby. Holy Hell, this isn't going to end well.” Prerna flinched. “Just a minute!” She called out, already thinking of ways to console Kuki. She went over to the door and opened it.

Rishabh’s eyes were like sharpened blocks of icy fury as he stared at her, a cold rage building behind them.

“Have you checked in on Kuki?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“Not since I put her to bed three hours ago. I had an assignment due at midnight and I was going to finish it and go check on her but I think I nodded off. What’s up?” She asked casually, not wanting to bring up Tubby unless he did.

He said nothing. In a split second, he grabbed her hand and lugged her firmly towards Kuki’s room. His grip cold and tight on her wrist.

“What the hell? Rishabh! Let me go!” Prerna struggled even as she stumbled behind him, unable to keep up with his punishing pace. He pushed past her into Kuki’s room where two attendants were already seated on the bed next to Kuki’s sleeping form, pressing cold compresses against her skin.

Prerna felt a deep chill wash over her. This wasn’t about a dog.

“Oh, god. What happened? What’s going on?” She immediately situated herself next to the head of the bed, feeling the unnaturally heated skin of her child under her soothing hands.

“You’re asking me what happened?” There was a sharp edge to his hushed tone. “She was with you all evening! Why is she running a fever?”

“I have no idea! She was perfectly okay when I put her to bed. No sign of fever or anything.” Prerna cried out urgently, stroking Kuki’s hot forehead. “Rishabh, please! Get a doctor.”

“Of course I’ve called for a doctor!” He snapped at her. “Don’t tell me how to care of my child.”

Prerna bit her tongue and stared down at the floor, silently willing the doctor to appear. She couldn’t stand to see Kuki suffering this way, her already fragile body unable to fight whatever infection that had taken hold of her. Her unfocused gaze picked the faded muddy prints on the carpet below. Her disoriented brain joining the dots.

“Rishabh.” She called out fearfully.

“Yeah?” He said, looking up from the medical history he was holding.

“Kuki…Kuki, she…she brought home a stray dog today.”

His eyes widened as understanding dawned and Prerna rushed to explain.

“I put him in the garden the moment I found it in her room but she had the dog for atleast two hours before that. Wh- What if it scratched her or something?”

He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, a clear indication for her to follow.

"Rishabh, listen to me..."

"Save it." He whirled around, his face contorted in stifled fury. "I don't want to hear whatever excuses you're about to spout. You have exactly one job in this house, do you understand?” The thunder in his voice dripping with venom. “You have no other responsibilities here except to take care of my daughter. That's it. That was our bargain or do you not remember?

“Rishabh, I didn’t kno- ”

“It’s your goddamn job to know. And if you’re not up to it then pack your f*cking bags and get the hell out. I’ll have you replaced in a month’s time.” He snarled, his mouth upturned cruelly. “Your priority, at all times, should be my daughter and her well-being, am I being crystal clear? Or so help me God, you’re going to wish you’d never crossed paths with me.”

Prerna’s bristled under his attack but kept shut. This was a terrified father venting out the only way he knew how. She was feeling the same fear in her veins, but she was better at handling emotions than him. His words stung nevertheless. She would never, ever put Kuki in harm’s way and the unfair accusation hurt her.

“Sir? Dr. Shukla is here.” The maid reported before shrinking back into the shadows.

He stormed past her without sparing her a single glance, escorting the lady doctor into Kuki’s room. Prerna slid in quietly behind them, watching Dr. Shukla perform a routine check-up of Kuki’s vitals. Several minutes of ensuing silence were broken by her reassuring words.

“Not to worry, Mr. and Mrs. Bajaj. It’s a garden variety viral fever. I’ll leave you with a prescription of her medicines and dosage. And make sure she takes steam atleast three times a day. Kuki should be right as rain by Monday.”

“It’s a viral? You’re absolutely sure? Nothing to worry about? You know her history…” Rishabh pressed again.

“I’m sure, Sir. No reason to panic. It’s flu season right now and as it is Kuki’s immunity is weaker than most kids her age. She must have caught it at school but she’ll be just fine.”

Prerna let out a sigh of relief, rubbing her chest, trying to dislodge the pressure that had built. She barely noticed her husband escorting the doctor out, her eyes fixated on her baby girl sleeping fitfully in front of her.

She was going to be okay.

_____________________________________________________________________________


Kuki had mostly recovered by Sunday night, thanks to the drugs and steady stream of home remedies that Prerna had diligently administered to her. No amount of fussing, crying and shouting had deterred Prerna from feeding spoonfuls of homebrewed kaadha to her reluctant child. Except for the times where they jointly took care of Kuki’s needs, Prerna and Mr. Bajaj met each other with cold silence.

Which is just dandy, thought Prerna, standing in her balcony, enjoying the pleasantly cool breeze of the night when her husband interrupted her peace.

“Prerna,” He called out, whisky glass in hand.

“Kuki is okay?” She asked, looking straight ahead, not wanting to see his face.

“She’s doing better. Alka is with her. I want to speak to you about Friday night.”

“If you’re here to apologize, don’t bother. It’s not my problem that you can’t stand me.” Passive-aggressive Prerna making a surprise appearance.

He stepped forward to stand beside her, crowding her senses.

“Can’t stand you? What gave you that idea?” He said without inflection, as if they were discussing the weather in England.

She gestured towards him. “Every condescending thing that’s come out of your mouth.”

“I’m not going to apologize for speaking the truth.”

“And so ripping me apart was justified that night?”

Rishabh’s eyes flashed, filling with destruction, but the emotion was gone in an instant. A shallow flatness replaced it. This man hid everything behind a fierce mask of indifference. He was shell wrapped in extremely handsome packaging. She on the other hand was an open book, pain stark and on display for all to see.

His presence took up the entire space, and not in a good way, a black cloud that almost made her shudder. But she wouldn’t let him cut her down. Not without a fight. Their glaring match continued. His gaze commanding and domineering, but she was no longer that girl who would cower and avert her eyes. No, sir.

“You don’t think you owe me an apology for the way you spoke to me on Friday night? Is this a recurring event for you? To be vicious without care or reason and then move on like nothing happened?” She accused. "You can't treat people like they don’t matter and then expect them to not hate you for it.”

“I couldn’t care less if people hate me. But you're right. I am vicious when I need to be.”

“And you think that’s the kind of stellar role model Kuki needs to grow up with?" Punctuating her words with sarcasm. “She’s a child. She should be surrounded by love.”

“And she is, constantly. Don’t worry your pretty head about that.”

Prerna didn't bother disguising her scoff. “What? You think she’s blind and deaf? That she can’t see how people react around her father? Oh yeah, she really thinks of you as warm and fuzzy.”

“Kuki gets the best of me. There’s nothing left to spare. I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry.” His chiseled jaw ticking in irritation. “I made a choice, when I was young, and now I'm past pointless regrets. Perhaps I had other options, but at the time, at that age, I didn't see them. Given the same circumstances, I would make the same choice again."

There was no regret in his voice, only a pragmatic acceptance of who and what he was. He didn't despair over the mistakes he had made; there was no angst, no wrestling with his conscience. He had set his feet on a certain path and never looked back.

She wanted to ask him what made him make the choices he had, but the answer seemed fairly obvious: money. The "why" didn't matter; by his own free will, he had put himself across the line that divided the good from the bad.

He spoke again, his tone only slightly gentler. “Look, I would do anything for Kuki. I would do anything to see her healthy again.” He broke off, his throat working."There are new drugs that help, but it's still so difficult for her to get the nutrients she needs. She eats well, but she doesn't grow and doesn't gain enough weight.” He gave a bitter little smile that wasn't a smile at all. "Finding a suitable heart is almost impossible. She would have to have a young child's heart and donor hearts from children are rare. And her blood type is A negative, which narrows the chance of finding a heart almost to zero.”

There was nothing to say. She couldn't offer a single meaningful thing to say.

"I've been trying to find a heart on the black market for years." He stared blindly at the glass of whisky in his hands. "I pour money into research on genetic treatments, on new drugs, on anything that will help until a donor becomes available.”

She had known the ins and outs of Kuki’s condition before they got married but hearing the helplessness in this powerful man’s voice brought unbidden tears to her eyes. He was a monster. But a monster who would move heaven and earth for his child.

“It’s okay. She’ll get through this. She’s got a stubborn streak a mile long.” Prerna offered him a watery smile. “We’ll make sure she gets through this.”

She stole one last glance at him before turning to make her way out of the large balcony.

In a voice so soft that she barely made out the words, Prerna received the only apology she was going to get.

“It wasn’t personal, Prerna.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The humans were at it again. He had sat outside on the garden steps patiently looking into the great hall through the massive glass doors. Nose pressed against them. The big human was shaking his head forcefully at two smaller humans. This had been going on for a long time.

Oh, wait.

His littlest human was running out. Towards him!

Playtime? Walk time!

Naaa...

Muncch time!

.

“TubTub! Tubby, come here good boy!”

Of course, he was a good boi. The goodest.

“Papa said yes, Tubby. Mama made him say yes! We’re going to stay together foreverrr.” Little kisses were being peppered all over his face.

As far as Tubby was concerned, Littlest Human and Mama were bestest.

He was going to reserve judgment on Papa.

_______________________________________________________



Cheers,

Sohaa

Edited by Sohali19 - 6 years ago
Bleedingheart. thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

This story absolutely amazing. I admire your writing style. Please continue soon. :)

esha143 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Very nice update...I'm glad Kuki is fine by the end but got to see the ruthless Bajaj again...and a new character...Tubby...nice name...but I loved his monologue more than anything😆...Tubby is reserving judgement on THE Rishabh Bajaj...wow..😆....

I have a doubt....in the previous parts...you have built up at least a sort of rapport between them...if not out right comfortable....they were companions of some sort....he even said he liked her company while playing chess with her....so why is there so much hostility between them now...?Just bcoz he asked her to marry him??It's not making much sense to me....its not like he's forcing her to marry him instead of Anurag like in the show,right?Anurag has broken off their relationship..whatever happened...it was his lack of trust and insecurity and incompetence that led to the result....so why is Prerna hating RB so much when she has accepted his company and help so many times before...albeit grudgingly....why are they avoiding each other so much in their own home....prior to Kuki's condition??

I know I'm a contributing factor for you asking abt Rishabh's night life featuring in this story but please feel free to write anything you feel needed and justified for this story to turn out to your satisfaction...these types of stories are not new to me...I read a lot of fiction...I just felt it a bit callous of RB's character to say those things to Prerna at that time so told you so....nothing you write can deter me from this story....but yes...I would like to see their romance starting in any form....a bit soon if possible....but again need of the story and all that...

As the author,first you should be satisfied with what you write before presenting it to your readers for them to appreciate it properly....then only you can justify what you write....so don't be doubtful of what you write...you are a good author....do your best...❤️

Sohali19 thumbnail
Engager Level 2 Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: esha143

Very nice update...I'm glad Kuki is fine by the end but got to see the ruthless Bajaj again...and a new character...Tubby...nice name...but I loved his monologue more than anything😆...Tubby is reserving judgement on THE Rishabh Bajaj...wow..😆....

I have a doubt....in the previous parts...you have built up at least a sort of rapport between them...if not out right comfortable....they were companions of some sort....he even said he liked her company while playing chess with her....so why is there so much hostility between them now...?Just bcoz he asked her to marry him??It's not making much sense to me....its not like he's forcing her to marry him instead of Anurag like in the show,right?Anurag has broken off their relationship..whatever happened...it was his lack of trust and insecurity and incompetence that led to the result....so why is Prerna hating RB so much when she has accepted his company and help so many times before...albeit grudgingly....why are they avoiding each other so much in their own home....prior to Kuki's condition??

I know I'm a contributing factor for you asking abt Rishabh's night life featuring in this story but please feel free to write anything you feel needed and justified for this story to turn out to your satisfaction...these types of stories are not new to me...I read a lot of fiction...I just felt it a bit callous of RB's character to say those things to Prerna at that time so told you so....nothing you write can deter me from this story....but yes...I would like to see their romance starting in any form....a bit soon if possible....but again need of the story and all that...

As the author,first you should be satisfied with what you write before presenting it to your readers for them to appreciate it properly....then only you can justify what you write....so don't be doubtful of what you write...you are a good author....do your best...❤️


Hi,

I honestly love your messages. They analyze the story so well. To your first question, it's a combination of factors.

Everytime Prerna went to make a deal with RB, she didn't know she was being played. So when she does find out that all the things he was asking for in return ended up weakening her relationship with Anurag, it makes her suspicious and dislike Bajaj. While it was Anurag's lack of trust in the end that killed their relationship, she still blames RB for facilitating it in the end. Second, the fact that he additionally used her weakness for the Basu family and manipulated her into marrying him, further erases whatever common ground she thinks they had established. From her POV, he's been working to get his interest ahead of everyone (which is true). Third, marriage to him had come in the form of contracts and lawyers and conditions. Something that further disillusioned her because in her eyes, he's disrespecting an institution she holds sacred. Which is why she treats it like a practical affair just as he does.

Now for RB. RB has an unique ability to compartmentalize. He is cunning and makes sure he gets what he wants but will also not cross the boundaries of absolutely unacceptable. While they were making deals, he's being his charming best and testing her. At this point in the story, he's not allowed himself to be friendly with Prerna because he views her as someone who is there to fulfill the role of his child's mother but is not entirely immune and unaffected by her either.

Finally, he is inherently a guarded and closed off person and will be unwilling to let someone into his life so quickly. His first instinct will always be to be ruthless and detached.

The story will see each of them overcome the worst of their natures.

About the infidelity, yes. Your message did prompt the question but I also know that many people find cheating descriptions a trigger. So thought I'd make a disclaimer/opinion poll of sorts.


Best,

Sohaa

esha143 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Thanks for taking the time out and explaining your view of the story and characters.. I appreciate it much...

SanzBarbie thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Amazing update...

But I really wonder if RB remains this apathetic and aloof regarding infidelty if Prerna rekindles her relationship with Anurag though discreetly...

He seems to act aloof apparently but put that infidelity clause knowing very well that Prerna won't cross the boundary and he saw through her....

Now I really want go see when RB gets attracted to Prerna she chooses to leave him and tries a new relationship without RB or Anurag, may be a classmate of hers... Let's see the burn of RB 😛

Wistfulness thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Most of my attention got directed to the new entry.

Tubby! ❤️ So the little munchkin is judgmental and has reserved the verdict on RB. 😆

Coming to the story, RB's sudden gush of acerbic vitriol and threats was a major highlight. To be very frank, it disturbed and even scared me a bit. The father's fury was so well expressed.

The next scene between PreRish was well written and I appreciate how the character consistency was maintained. Prerna knows his apologies are unconventional. That was all she could get.


P.S. I'm curious about his night life, its disclosure, and Prerna's reaction to the details she's unknown to.

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