77. Ranjish
Something was amiss with his wife for she had been uncharacteristically quiet for the last few days. He had tried asking her but the moment she'd spot him approaching the topic, she'd always find a way to excuse herself.
He had taken her out today thinking it would bring about a change in her mood but now as he unclasped his watch's strap, he felt it was in vain for she still looked lost.
"Did you like the movie?" Maan asked putting his watch on the dresser and putting himself on the bed, his stance nonchalant in order to not betray his interest.
She had changed into an old, white and faded pink kurti that must have seen better days. He had never seen her in this night dress in the earlier days of marriage so it seemed that she had got it during her visit to her Mayka.
It was short and slim and clung to her like a second skin. Most of her suits either had a collared or closed necks but this one had a deep cut and the see through pink dupatta thrown around her neck did little to hide all the skin on display and for a few seconds, he found himself a little off-tracked.
Folding the salwar kameez that she had worn to the cinema hall, she was keeping it away in the cupboard. Perhaps, she felt his gaze for without meeting his eyes, she adjusted the chiffon around her neck. He immediately looked away but not before chiding himself for the slip. As it is she had given him names like Dusht Danav and lomdi, he didn't want to add pervert to the list.
"Yes, very much," his wife replied. He took some time to realize that it was an answer to his previous question.
'It didn't seem so. Tum bahut chup-chup thi pure time.'
'Nahi aisa nahi hai. Baat toh kar rahi thi jitni jarurat thi. Bina matlab ke bakar bakar thodi karti.'
Right, he thought to himself but then his heart said, still, this wasn't the Geet he had come to know and this kind of dull interaction wasn't the kind he looked forward to. Her eyes didn't sparkle with life nowadays. They didn't shine with mischief and if he be true to himself he missed that spark. Terribly.
'Kuch khayenge? Do you need me to cook something?' She asked standing in front of him. The faint smell of the perfume that she had sprayed on herself while going out had clung to her skin and it assailed his nostrils.
He shook his head and then unconsciously took more of her fragrance as he answered, 'Bhar pet kha liya. We shouldn't have allowed Aditya to order. He ordered too much. How much more will I eat?! Why are you even asking? Are you still hungry? Dekhne mein toh patli dubli ho. Where does all the food go, huh?' He jested.
She gave him a small smile, the one that didn't carry her soul. And he felt disappointed. Iss smile main kya karun?! He wanted to ask. If she wanted to be stingy with her smiles, better not to give them at all.
'No, I'm not hungry. Bas aap se puch liya. Back at home...', She paused then as if deciding whether to continue or not.
Pulling his legs up on the bed and crossing them, he prompted her, 'Back at home?'
'Hmm?'
'Hmm nahi aage bolo. Back at home?'
Removing the tiny clips from her hair, she moved to the dressing table and fixed them back on the paper cardboard. Then as she removed her earrings, she looked at him through the mirror and continued, 'When we used to go out to eat. It wouldn't even be an hour and Baoji will be again be hungry. Maa used to get very angry. Kehti thi kya fayda hi hua bahar jane ka when she had to at the end fire the stove.' Her tone was filled with love as she reminisced the old days.
An odd feeling settled in his chest. He was disconcerted. He didn't know if it was because he had no such stories in his basket or because he felt he was failing in providing her such moments that would later find themselves reminisced as sweet memories. The feeling of failing to fulfill his duty began to irk him. Often late into the nights he would second think his decision of getting her back. Did he do the right thing? Would they be happy? Would he be able to do justice to her? To their relation? Had he finally moved on from Jasleen? If not then will he ever? And about love...he seldom took that road even in his thoughts. That she looked sad and lost most of the time didn't help his case either.
'Aapko kuch nhi chahiye toh main jaun?' She had turned now, all the accessories removed, and she being back to her simple and careless form. Careless because most of the times, he got the impression that she didn't much care about dressing and dolling up.
What did Chachiji had to say about this? Yes, saaj na sringar, lagta hi nahi hai ki nayi shadi hui hai.
Not that he was interested or that he cared, but aren't new brides more attentive towards their looks supposedly to impress their husbands or to celebrate their happiness? But then he wasn't the kind of husband she would want to dress up for or impress. Maybe he didn't inspire any happiness in her? This wouldn't be the first time if it was the case. Or maybe she had better things to do. As he saw her rummage her bag of books that had found a corner in their bedroom, he thought, of course, she had better things to do.
'Do you miss your home?' He asked. Whether he was simply inquisitive or just trying to prolong their time together, he wasn't aware of it.
'Not much,' she answered.
Wrong answer, his heart remarked.
Why? His brain asked. Because she still misses it very much? The brain tried guessing.
'No, Because the right answer would have been that this was her home now.' The heart told the brain.
'What kind of moronic stuff have you been watching?!'
'Do I make you a cup of coffee?' She was the door with her books in her arms. He knew the routine. She would from now occupy the settee and would return only when he would be in throes of sleep.
'Jarurat nahi hai, jao karo apna kaam,' he dismissed her, poring his head into his phone.
'Ji. If you feel like having one, let me know. I'll just be outside.'
This ji and ja and the agyakaari wife act that she was pulling on him had started to grate on his nerves. Even in the afternoon she had been as unenthusiastic and subservient when he had mentioned the movie outing.
Aditya and Pinky had called and proposed for a movie evening.
He had some pending drawings to be finished this weekend so he wasn't sure he wanted to go but then an image of her lonely self had cropped up in his head and he had told them he would call back in a minute.He had to their room to check with her.
She had been sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs tucked under her. Unaware of his presence, she had been chuckling at some comedy act that was running on the television.
He saw her throw her head back and laugh unrestrained . The laughter had come in bouts to her... And as lyrics of a poem to him...
The sight was so rare and her laughter so heart warming that it had made him stop at the threshold.
Her laughter had diffused into the air and into his whole being just like the fragrance of garden flowers that diffuses into a household.
He hadn’t realized he had been staring until she had stopped abruptly, sensing his presence.
"Aditya is asking us out for a movie. What do I tell him?"
"Jaisa aapka mann," she had said without looking away from the television screen.
"Do you want to go?" He had asked.
She had shrugged her shoulders. The gesture had somehow irked him.
Pushing his hands into his trouser pockets, he had leaned against the door. Tilting his head, he had mocked shrugged and asked "What does this mean?"
"Anything is fine with me."
It had irked him some more and he had given her a long stare just because he knew his stares made her uncomfortable.
"Fine, we are going then." He had asked her to get ready and she had gotten ready without any resistance.
She had been quiet the entire time of their movie night speaking only when Aditya or Pinky had asked her something.
"Plain, butter, caramel or mint chocolate?" When he had asked, she had given him a blank look.
"Which flavor would you like?"
"Flavor in what?"
"Popcorn!"
"Oh. I don't know. Jo aapko acha lage."
This whatever you like, your wish was beginning to get on his nerves.
"Why? Don't you have a choice of your own? Tongue of your own?"
She had chosen not to reply and he had gone to get whatever he liked.
'Maan,' she pulled him out of his thoughts.
'Haan?"
'Agar aapko tv dekhni hogi toh volume kam kar ke dekhiyega....' She said and added a please as an afterthought.
'Ji. Bilkul. Ek kaam karein darwaza halke se laga dijiye aap. Kyunki volume toh main jitni rakhta hoon utna hi rakhunga.' Why was he irritated?
'Ji,' And she left the door half closed. He was afraid he would lambaste out on her and her reply would be an another ji.
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