Independence day

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suma_yudkbh

@suma_yudkbh

Voyager

Posted: 6 years ago

Naina's go talked about girls independence after marriage

I have heard from many girls that they have been told to do what they want but only after marriage. Even I got it once. But many a times girls do not get that independence even after marriage.

It's ridiculous but still true

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suhaaana

@suhaaana

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 6 years ago

You are right sometimes the freedom gets lost too but it is rare i think...

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meeranair

@meeranair

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 6 years ago

Everyone may not get it..depending upon their circumstances...like to have freedom in joint family is not always possible...if it's like Samaina then one can experience that freedom...again you need to have a husband like Sameer...who would give that freedom to his wife...

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Rph09

@Rph09

Sparkler

Posted: 6 years ago

Everyone is not lucky as naina!

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Laalchi_Reader

@Laalchi_Reader

Rocker

Posted: 6 years ago

Yes ..

Even I get these statements from my grandmother

Pati ke saath jaana !!

But to experience that freedom you should have a sameer in your life

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rituriyaakhil

@rituriyaakhil

Explorer

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: meeranair
Everyone may not get it..depending upon their circumstances...like to have freedom in joint family is not always possible...if it's like Samaina then one can experience that freedom...again you need to have a husband like Sameer...who would give that freedom to his wife...

Agreed. I am very happy for Naina that she got his opportunity to taste the freedom to do what she wants and how she wants it. However, she could do so because she is married to someone who does not have immediate family living in the same household.

That is why her VO generalizing about how women get their taste of freedom after marriage is not a real deal. Majority of women married into families with in-laws in the 90s. For women getting married was more obligations than fun in most cases. Getting married may be freedom to roam around late with your husband, riding the bike freely with him but is also meant cut down on the freedom to sleep late in the morning, cut down on the freedom to wear what you want, cut down on the freedom to speak up your mind, cut down on the freedom to laze around, cut down on the freedom to eat before other family members, maybe even had to give up careers and studies for some of them. Being Bahu was not that easy and marriage came with liability for most.

Luckily for her, she will never have to face all the things other women her time generally did.

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meeranair

@meeranair

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: rituriyaakhil

Agreed. I am very happy for Naina that she got his opportunity to taste the freedom to do what she wants and how she wants it. However, she could do so because she is married to someone who does not have immediate family living in the same household.

That is why her VO generalizing about how women get their taste of freedom after marriage is not a real deal. Majority of women married into families with in-laws in the 90s. For women getting married was more obligations than fun in most cases. Getting married may be freedom to roam around late with your husband, riding the bike freely with him but is also meant cut down on the freedom to sleep late in the morning, cut down on the freedom to wear what you want, cut down on the freedom to speak up your mind, cut down on the freedom to laze around, cut down on the freedom to eat before other family members, maybe even had to give up careers and studies for some of them. Being Bahu was not that easy and marriage came with liability for most.

Luckily for her, she will never have to face all the things other women her time generally did.

I was really very happy for her finally she has her own house...her world...so far however loving her Chacha chachi were...it was still different...she couldn't ever call it her own house...and hence yesterday I was very happy to see her finally having a independent life...and I agree with Vo generalizing...its definitely not the case with every married girl..I have seen some of my friends although they stay in nuclear family they actually wait for their husbands to go on official tour, so that they can just relax and do whatever they desire...because they haven't been blessed with freedom to live as they like...and yes they are all well educated girls...

Edited by meeranair - 6 years ago

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rituriyaakhil

@rituriyaakhil

Explorer

Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: meeranair

I was really very happy for her finally she has her own house...her world...so far however loving her Chacha chachi were...it was still different...she couldn't ever call it her own house...and hence yesterday I was very happy to see her finally having a independent life...and I agree with Vo generalizing...its definitely not the case with every married girl..I have seen some of my friends although they stay in nuclear family they actually wait for their husbands to go on official tour, so that they can just relax and do whatever they desire...because they haven't been blessed with freedom to live as they like...and yes they are all well educated girls...

I agree. I living in the US with my husband and kids feel that I don't have enough ME time. I sometimes wish I could just go out and relax in a hotel all by myself without hubby & kids. Actually after a long day of office work and household chores I still wake up one extra hour so that I can drink tea and just relax and have some moments of sanity & freedom.

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Sakhile

@Sakhile

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

The Naina VO's constant generalisation has been a source of extreme irritation for a long time now.

Freedom is not devoid of responsibilities. Adulthood and marriage bring with it responsibilities. Whether there are in laws or not, there are still responsibilities that one has to one's partner, other family members on both sides, your own and your in laws, society and the broader community. Added to that are the commitments to friends and work. All of these sometimes appear to be stumbling blocks to us being able to be truly free.

Being able to manage one's responsibilities and also making time for that which is important to one is the balancing act that must be mastered.

As both @ritariyaakhil and @meenair indicate, in the 90s most girls did not have Naina's life. In fact, Naina's life is the exception rather than the rule even in this day.

We may think that Naina is very lucky not to have in laws. This is not necessarily true.Soon she will begin to have to carry all the responsibilities of a married person and the running of a house all by herself. This is when she will truly begin to miss having others around her to help out.

Every person in a family has a role in our lives. Our experiences with them is what makes us who we are and together with them we are stronger. Even Taiji and Mami teach us lessons that enrich our live no matter how bitter they may be.