Posted:
about 20-30 years back about 75% percent of marriages happening in our sub-continent were arranged, & even today there is a considerable percentage of arranged marriages happening.
In any arranged marriage, love doesn't happen within seconds of the rituals getting over, it develops gradually. & I am sure there are certain couples who don't immediately start acting like hubby-wife just after the wedding. The realization & acceptance needs time.
It may sound cheesy but its a fact that when a guy/girl gets married, he/she must adopt the the other's family as his/her own for their own peace.
& when a couple lives in a joint family, its not possible that everyone will share same sweet equations with the new member, someone or other will always be there to complains & show hostility. Its very common.
But does it means, that he or she should give up & just walk out cause of a certain someone's dislike of his/her presence ?
What about the one who binds his or her to the family ? what about the "better half" ?
& there must be some people in the family who have wholeheartedly accepted the new member what about their feeling ?
Should the negatives outweight the positives ?
Our Akshan are in similar situation, they had a marriage that can be anything but a love marriage & both of their personalities are so distinct with a lot of past baggage hence love can't be expected to happen immediately. & their journey to truly accept each other as pati-patni within themselves will take time too.
As of now, Akshan trust each other, respect each other & care for each other & none of these are one sided. Each of them have earned that from the other & it developed gradually.
True love is selfless, in that one has to give, without any expectation of getting anything in return. It requires numeral compromises & sacrifices & no matter how much these terms are hated today but this are required & necessary as to achieve true love one has to be selfless. It does needs one to be "mahaan".
Guddu has accepted Jindals as her own family for dadi & AJ's sake & she genuinely wants her marriage to work. It doesn't matter what bahus think of her as her main relation is with AJ who respects her.
Same AJ has accepted Guptas as his family & gave her parents the much deserved respect.
If Guddu is tolerating the bahus for AJ's sake, AJ is tolerating Kaushalya for Guddu's sake.
Yes Guddu can give back the bahus & so can AJ do the same with kaushalya but they aren't cause they want to maintain peace & keep each other free of avoidable tension or stress.
Yesterday Guddu kept quite as she didn't wanted to spoil the day for AJ & today AJ protected her respect & honor even if it meant yelling at her & looking bad in front of all as he can't let his bahus say nonsense to her.
It started from the time AJ took the full blame of breaking the wedding on himself on the mehendi night & saved Guddu's honor.
I am not saying Guddu should tolerate any crap thrown at her by AJ but the problem is AJ has never done anything such. Instead he has always shown respect for her wishes & choices & except for taking the relation to the physical level, he has done almost all of his husbandly duties then why should she leave someone like him just cause some of his family members are hostile towards her ? & most importantly if she wants her marriage to work !
Doesn't roses come with thorns too ?
Is she wrong to accept her fate in the form of her husband ?
Didn't AJ too accepted her the way she is ?
Isn't he bothered & worried whenever she behaves unusual then her normal self ?
In joint families such saas-bahu issues happen regularly & most of the time men of the house are kept unaware of them but at the end of the day, if one intents is to keep the marriage intact, adjustments must be done.
i.e. argue back, answer back, do reverse taunting but for the marriage to work its important, that you never leave your batter-half's side.
& that might be a reason that some of us are existing cause in past many chose to adjust instead of walking out of the marriage over the issues with other family members.
I know thats a purana soch, & times have changed but with time, living in a joint family has become more & more difficult. People have become more intolerable of each other compared to in past. People aren't as open to accept changes as willingly as they used to do it in past & thats the challange Guddu is facing.
& Guddu is doing good in that !
I am sure if someone very perfect & responsible had come in Guddu's place & took over the responsibilities of the household, still bahus would create such issues cause whoever comes, would definitely bring some changes along
& I am very sure that person too won't have opened her notebook to write down about Antra's favorite "mattar ki sabzi" !
& according to Durga's logics that very perfect & responsible saas would also be a "Dusri Aurat" in AJ's life cause she didn't make an effort to know about her decreased sautan's taste & hence she won't be any Jindal no matter how ideal she would have been.
Akshan are 2 people from 2 different generations, with 2 different family background.
AJ is head of the house of a joint family from a decade.
While Guddu is a complete carefree girl coming from a nuclear family.
AJ has best experience of purana times while Guddu is the energy of nayi generation.
Together Akshan are meant to adopt the best & wise aspects of purana soch & give it a nayi direction & create something completely new & beautiful in their journey together.
AJ's experience of past & Guddu's modern ideologies are bound to come together at some point & it will be beautiful to witness.
p.s. Thank you if you have taken the time & effort to read this post till the very end
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Arjun
