Posted:
Hi people.
"mere saath rehene se accha hota tum marr jati" is what his brain screamed. And like a numbing slap, his entire life got flashed infront of him.
Bepannah has completed its 6 months and i am so proud of being a loyal fan of the show.
I know its unfair to talk about one's personal life but i relate so much with aditya, and after the episode marathon that i did, i just had to pen down the overwhelming emotions i am going through.
except for having a psycho mother , my life is so much similar and honestly writers have done some good research and an excellent job in sketching Aditya.
My parents got divorced when i was 8 and my elder brother was 14. Our mother got the custody and father was supposed to meet us only once in a month , which he very conveniently skips till date. I have not met him for more than 2 decades now. I was though very young had a little attachment with him but my elder brother worshiped him till the day he saw something with his own naked eyes which is too personal to be shared and that was the day when my brother was a different person altogether. I chose my career as a psychiatrist because of him, i so desperately wanted to get into his wall and sooth him from what he still buries within him. I and my brother have major trust issues , him majorly. We lost our mother to cancer and that was the final blow for him. I knew i would never get him back. The divorce did not effect me as much as it did to him. All i am saying his, kids from broken families dont have a normal life in terms of emotions. I wont call myself arjun because i am not as unaffected as him with my past but i see my brother in aditya.
This new Aditya who courageously fell in love again , is so so so vulnerable right from the time of pooja's death that even the slightest of hint of being left alone terrifies him. Arshad was never a 3rd person between him and zoya , arshad was that feeling. Arshsad was that fear. The fear of being taken away from someone whom aditya loved with his ever single fiber. His life parallels have been written so beautifully that it is next to impossible to not feel it. Whether you relate with it or not.
The feeling of the fear of abandonment has always over powered aditya than any other emotion. His father chose a different family over him. Pooja chose a different man over him , Sakshi chose pooja over him , Anjana chose Harsh over him and Zoya chose a different husband over him.
This volcano of emotions burst every second of his life. The sixteen year old Aditya thought he was not a good son for his father, 20 years of Aditya thought he was not enough for his mother , 32 year old Aditya thought he was not a good husband for his wife , and now he thought he can never be a good lover. My heart goes out for him. With such extreme loathings and whirlpool of emotions his sanity will certainly be perturbed. His actions , as i have always said were not right, but justified. All his mind wanted was to hold on to zoya as it knew, if zoya was gone, that would be end of his life. And to top it all, his heart screamed that zoya loved him too. How one could expect him to back off when his entire being was breathing on to that fact?
"Humara marr Jaana hi behtar hota"
This was mere a statement that left zoya's mouth as an instant reaction to such commotion in her life and it was anything but a statement for aditya. Whatever Aditya says or hear is not just strings if words.. They always are fire of feelings. With so much of baggage,everything that he registers, his mind links it to his past.
"mere saath rehene se accha hota tum marr jati" is what his brain screamed. And like a numbing slap, his entire life got flashed infront of him.
"Uske saath rehene se accha pa kisi aur ke saath chale jaate"
"Uske saath rehene se accha pooja ne marr jaana behtar samjha"
"Uske saath rehene se achha zoya marr jana behtar samajhti"
Why was this statement such a blow to him when zoya had been persistent that she didnt love him right from the beginning?
Because these were the words he had been dealing with from the day his dad walked out on him. The moment Zoya uttered those words, Aditya knew this was it. Because that sinking feeling which he had always felt returned with full force and this time , it shattered him completely. The line went on loop , killing him every time. All his life, he was looking for some sort of relief to his devil of a heart and when he found it once, it broke him to pieces and when he found it second time, he died.
Yet he chose to be a friend for zoya and mustered up the courage to take her to the mandap. Because that is who Aditya is. Irrespective of everything that his heart deals with , he chooses to be the better person. He chose to be harsh's son and he chose to be anjana's son. He chose to be Sakshi's son and he chose to be Pooja's friend. And he kept his broken heart aside and chose to be with zoya because he didnt want to abandon her when he knew she was in pain. And who else but him understands the pain of abandonment .
Kudos bepannah creatives and thank you for taking care of the littlest things on the show and doing the justice with the characters. 👏
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
