Posted:
Hi there, myself Dr. Don. Some of you might have read my previous story on my experiences of teenage love.
I just caught the episode aired on 17th & 18th Night, where the teenage love of Arjun & Shafali was revealed (or caught) and as expected all the noise that followed. I am posting after a long time and the forum has truly evolved in the last one year. So, please do pardon any errors in writing.
So, based on my experiences I will give a cold treatment analysis of the scenario. It would also be interesting to know the views of all the resident readers and writers at the forum.
On a personal note, I am a big supporter of teenage love. It is something magical, greatly exciting that can fill our entire being with amazing sensations - emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually. A two-way teenage love/attraction/crush is a beautiful and unmanageable onslaught on the senses of a teenager.
One statement I wrote in my previous story " Teenage love is so Powerful that it can make you or break you. If channeled properly, it can make you move mountains but one wrong step you will have a rough fall."
I am saying it as I have gone through this entire phase for almost more than a decade and it was a long road to the destination. (and I arrived at a new destination on the other side of the journey)
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The Case of Arjun & Shefali in the Present REAL WORLD
All of us (including me) absolutely love the characterization of innocent teenage love between Naina and Sameer & the journey of that love from teenage days of school, college to the culmination of marriage. The beautifully explained nuances and sweetness of teenage love, (School to College) between Naina & Sameer might appear tempting.
But, the reality of a teenage love affair is very brutal. (More so in the lines of what happened to Arjun & Shefali)
In the present times, the reality of teenage love has a lot of dark undertones.
Why?
(Form Official Stats)
1. Heartbreak in the teenagers is one of the most frequent reasons to commit suicide among teenagers.
2. Heartbreak is the biggest reason where a teenager is wrongly self-motivated to commit a crime to hurt the one he/she feels wronged him/her in love. (for example: In the 21st century, Revenge MMS is the most common way for many jilted boys to get back at the girl and cause her immense depression, pain, and social disgrace. It also sometimes goes to the extreme of physical harm. Many boys also get falsely accused of wrongdoings in the war of heartbreaks and lose their future getting entangled in police cases and other murky things.)
3. Teenage heartbreak/betrayal can get so powerful that it can literally ruin potential promising young lives/careers. There are stories of successful teenage loves, but they are a rarity.
Majority of the middle-class teenage love stories are a failure and teenagers keep carrying the baggage for a long time.
(Especially I have noticed this to be more common in the 90s era. Even in today's fast-paced internet date, it still holds true. All the above are happening in the modern day world of today even though the young teenagers are now more used to the break-up and move on culture.)
Now, what was Shown in the Episode in the previous couple of days (Where Arjun Backed Out of Supporting Shefali) happens in the 90s era.
I am not writing it in favor or against Arjun or Shefali. It a cold analysis: (maybe real-life teenagers can take some clues)
1. Arjun (and Shefali to some extent) should have planned it more carefully. I mean Arjun is not dumb to not to realize that a Christian girl will never be welcomed as a DIL in a strict & conservative Middle-Class Marwari family. It does not happen even today and that was the 90s.
2. Arjun, in any case, should have backed Shefali. Why? One reason being he loves that girl! (If he really does!) Secondly, even though he denies loving Shafali, people will anyway talk and his family will doubt him always. So, his lying is not going to help in any case as to supposedly saving his skin.
3. Arjun's Predicament
The biggest villain of teenage love is the fact that "Teenage Lovers have NO control over many aspects of their lives".
Arjun was scared as " HE IS NOTHING RIGHT NOW". He does not earn, has no house of his own, not even a career & no finance. He is completely dependant on his family for everything.
(Control over life is a big factor. For example, Sameer has that confidence that he is settled in life career-wise and financially. On top of that, Sameer is of Strong Fighting Character. Sameer has much more freedom in expressing his thoughts and feelings. So, in many ways, he is more unhinged and free than Arjun)
Unless Arjun is a man of his own, he can't practically open his mouth in front of his father or any of his family member. (On top of that the character has always been presented as an opportunistic and bailout/runaway person).
That was the reason, why he couldn't muster an iota of courage to at least speak even a word in favor of Shefali.
4. But in all this analysis, we are all forgetting that Arjun ( or a real-life person in his situation) is a teenager.
He is nothing yet in life with LOADS OF INSECURITIES (Socially and Financially). On top of that, he is seeing his entire clan ready to pounce on him or disown him. His father even trying to commit suicide. Add to that, his nature to buckle under pressure, he just wanted to escape the situation and the easiest route was to disown Shefali and Make her appear a lier in front of his clan.
It was an extraordinary situation and any Middle-Class teenager might have completely buckled under it.
And that's what Arjun did!
Hence, I neither Favour Arjun nor support his Character. He has been portrayed as an escapist (from his Clan). He was completely wrong in ditching Shefali in such a manner. But, the only white line in all his doings is the fact that he had to choose his father above Shefali (and if it comes to that Parents are the Primary choice - he did what a son might do when he is facing a situation to choose. But again its too easy to pass a judgement. Any justification for Arjun's behevior is just a forced effort. What he did cannot be justified!).
However, overall Arjun did the most selfish act. He all along knew how his family would react and disown Shefali. He knew very well. But, he could not let go of the happiness & excitement he was feeling by being close to Shefali and getting all her attention being her love interest.
That was perhaps the only moment of validation in his life where someone (Shefali) truly loved him, made him her center of the world, gave him importance & hold on her life with the assurance that she will always love him.
For Shefali, it was Shadi wala pyaar!
But, Arjun due to his actions, teenage dependancies (Financial + Social) and nature to NOT own up to any of his actions humiliated and distanced perhaps the love of his life.
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The Case of Shefali
As for Shefali! You ROCK Girl!
In my opinion, Shefali (or any real life girl in this scenario) had a GOOD RIDDANCE!
Arjun would never have been able to take a stand for her (even if Arjun succeeds professionally).
Shefali is a gem of a character (always supporting Arjun, being sweet to him and also respecting his parents/elders). On top of that, she always aims to improve the career and happiness of Arjun. Hence, the character of Shefali did not have much or any gray shades and was perfectly compatible with Arjun.
So, Arjun has, in general, no reason to ditch a girl like that. But he did, very absurdly, leaving Shefali's self-respect in tatters.
Hence, hypothetically, even if Arjun was successful (socially and financially), he would keep ditching Shefali at various points in life (if they are together).
Even after being a man of his own, it is unlikely that he will be able to let go of the Escapist attitude. Even after achieving professional success, it is more likely that he will be under the pressure and influence of his father and keep doing what he says. (even though he is wrong most of the times) So, being a self-sustaining adult will not change that aspect of Arjun. He would directly & indirectly keep doing all the biddings of his clan and Shefali will be hurt all through her life. She will be made to feel unloved and unaccepted in the Agrawal Den.
And she does not deserve that at All!
She fought for her love until the point she cannot anymore. Hence, she might have been insulted by the Agarwal clan, but in her mind, she did all she could to fight and protect her love. Hence, she will definitely move ahead in life in a better frame of mind.
Yes, she will be sad for failing in love with Arjun.
But the satisfaction of being the one who fought for their love staying true to it all the while is very powerful. This satisfaction will make her realize that, though she failed in love, she gave it her all and did all she could. There was nothing more she could have done.
This satisfaction and the sense of being TRUTHFUL & RIGHT will give her the strength to work towards new achievements in her life.
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The After Effects on Arjun
But, for Arjun, it can go either way.
A mind burdened with Guilt reduces the probability to take the individual to success. And Arjun is amassing guilt after guilt.
The guilt of being a paper thief, the guilt of faking his broken leg and the ultimate guilt of making tall promished of love and marriage but dismissing Shefali at the first drop of trouble (where she is not at any fault).
If things do not work out, he would soon start lamenting and cursing himself for being the WRONG one, for being the UNTRUTHFUL one in the scene between him and Shefali. The Guilt of being at fault and the desperation of losing out a very decent girl (and also beautiful, and full of joy who brought validation and love into his life). And Guilt can never give Peace. It would make him restless and agitated. He will try to justify himself but he won't be able to.
Even if he achieves some success, Arjun and characters like him would never learn to manage different relations in their life. Such characters are unlikely to do so even when they move ahead into the life as an independent adult.
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Shefali's Suggestion to Naina
The suggestion Shefali gives to Naina is a very valid one. There was a time when Sameer was the wrong one. Now both have moved ahead leaps and bounds. Sameer is completely into Naina with all his being and existence. He will not back out from accepting his love for Naina in front of anyone.
In fact, here the chances are that Naina can be the one to back out fearing the reactions and bashings from her family. She needs to develop that courage to stand by Sameer when their love story is finally revealed.
Naina cannot keep testing the grounds (raising Sameer's Hopes & Dream to Marry her and start a family) and back out at the last moment for the sake of the so-called reputation of Agarwal Can and his dad. [There are going to many clashes between Mami ~ Taiji and others making the situation a question of pride]. Naina has to make up her mind or start to prepare mentally for it.
If she can't it's better to let Sameer go. It's better to hurt him now but giving him the chance to move ahead (while still in Teenage)
The instances of the last two episodes again connected with me a lot after a long time in the initial days of the show. The Arjun Shefali culmination story connected with me at a very personal level again.
So, shared my views on it.
Thank you for reading.
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