15 years ago: Dehradun
As the sea of devotees swelled at the dargah, Aditya stood outside observing the crowd flit in and out carrying a basket of flowers and a Gilaf (chadar) to make their offerings at the Mazar. In the past whenever Zoya had forcefully dragged him along with her, he had kicked up a fuss but today as the strong fragrance of crimson roses and jasmin hit his nostrils, he felt an immense sense of inner peace fill him from within. He had never been a believer and he had little faith he would ever be but he tagged along anyways. He could never refuse her anything, not even if it meant defying his own rationality. He now turned his attention to the marble lattice surrounding the courtyard of the shrine and there she was, tying the mannat ka dhaga before closing her eyes to make her wish. A moment later she stepped out, her face beaming like it was lit by a thousand stars. He could never figure out what it was about this place that made her so happy but today he sought solace in it. He felt replete yet his heart refused to part with the yearning he had carried with him for a while now.
He smiled at her as she took his hand in hers and they set off together.
"You look happier than usual. Looks like someone made a special wish," he teased her as her eyes twinkled and he wondered if she would ever cease to amaze him by her ability to seek happiness in things others deemed mundane.
"You can say so," she said and when he arched his brows in question, she promptly shook her head.
"Someday perhaps but not today," she replied with a knowing look in her eyes. "Besides they say if you speak it out loud, your wish remains unfulfilled," she added as he smirked.
"Funny how that works!" he replied shrugging his shoulders and she rolled her eyes knowing what turn this conversation would take.
"So here comes the part where you tell me how naive and stupid I am to believe a piece of thread will bring me luck. Fine, go ahead!" she said frowning.
"You assume way too much Zo. I wasn't about to say anything like that. I know I have given you a hard time for believing in things you do in the past but the fact is I envy you," he told her as they crossed the bridge overlooking the valley.
Zoya was taken aback by the revelation.
"Envy me? But why?" she asked him trying to decipher the meaning behind his words.
"You know what you want and you never hesitate to wish for it," he said with a faraway look in his eyes and she knew what he was thinking.
She gave a gentle squeeze to his hand.
"It's not so bad Adi. You may want a lot many things but you need to believe that life has a way of giving you what you truly need and sometimes you need not even ask for it. It may have been with you all along but you never realized it. And if you truly desire something with every bit of your heart, you need to ask for it. You cannot live in the fear of making a wish just because you feel you will lose it one day," she said in a gentle tone.
For a while neither of them spoke and Adi sought comfort in the silence that engulfed them mulling over her words. He knew she was right. He had to try. Maybe it would work out or maybe not. But if he never made a move, he would never know.
"Zo... I wanted... ummm... well I... there is something that we need to talk about," he said suddenly feeling nervous and ran a hand through his hairs in frustration.
Adi get a grip, he told himself and now that he had broached it, he wished he hadn't. He should have carefully thought this through but deep down he knew that this was it.
"Ok," he breathed a sigh and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as Zoya felt nervous seeing Adi in this state. It was so unlike him and she wondered if something had happened in Mumbai. Ever since he had come back to Dehradun for vacation two weeks ago, he seemed distant, especially from her. A new fear gripped her heart as Adi struggled to express his thoughts.
"You remember the time when we were kids? When we had promised each other we would be together forever, no matter what? This had been our little secret. One that we did not share even with Poo," he told her as Zoya looked confused. She was not sure where this was headed.
"Of course Adi and you knew I meant it too," she replied with a slight note of hesitation in her voice.
"I know we were just five when we made that promise and not that you know... ummm... anyone would hold us to it," he said unsure what to say next as she got more perplexed with each passing second. Maybe this was the moment she had been dreading of she realized, her heart sinking. Maybe Adi had found someone else and she was no longer the best friend he needed.
"Gosh I wish I could say this right. Damn it Adi," he cursed under his breath. He took a deep breath trying to compose himself before continuing.
"You know Zo, my life has been full of questions for which I never got any answers and for a long time it was difficult for me to even hope for something. I was scared that it would turn out to be another conundrum. I could never figure out what I wanted until I left for Mumbai. Until I left you. And after that I was not sure if things would be the same again. Maybe we would grow out of whatever it was that had bound us back then but it only grew stronger. You were right. I cannot live in that fear and I don't want to," he said never taking his eyes off her and the fear that had gripped her a while ago vanished replaced by a nervous anticipation. He gazed at her intensely, searching in those beautiful doe eyes, what it held for him.
"And when I came back, you were here waiting for me and the way your eyes sparkled when you saw me or," he said in a husky voice his heart beating a tad bit faster, he palmed her cheek and traced a finger along it as she felt a slight shiver run down her spine.
"Or the rosy flush that adorned your cheek or when you took my name, I knew then. I knew what I needed for the first time in my life and right now I need you to know that," he told her leaning in to press his forehead against hers.
"I need you Zoya and I want us to be together for as long as it takes. Maybe forever or if there is something beyond a 'forever' then maybe that too. I don't know and I don't want to wait to find out. But what I do know is that I don't want us to be apart, ever," he said closing his eyes and now that he had said it out loud he knew there was no turning back. But if Zoya did not feel the same way, he vowed he would let her go, no matter what it cost him. In the back of his mind, he was still trying to process what had happened just then, when he felt something wet on his cheek, followed by the soft touch of her lips.
He opened his eyes slowly as she pulled back.
"I thought you'd never ask," she said half smiling, half crying, her heart soaring with joy. Nothing had changed but yet everything seemed different and new.
As Zoya's unspoken reciprocation sunk in, his happiness knew no bounds and for the first time in his life, he felt the bonds of despair and sorrow fall, allowing him to embrace life and a hope that promised to make up for all the lost years. He had finally found his true home and this time he would hold on to it, hold on to Zoya his Zoya.
It felt surreal now and he could only bask in its glory. As the sun set over the horizon, Adi pressed his lips to hers, sealing what would be their happily ever after with a kiss and a memory they would both cherish forever.
Present Day: Hooda Penthouse, Mumbai
"Aliyaaa!" Noor repeated for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
Aliya gave her a sheepish grin before getting down the tiny stool and shut the door of the fridge.
"Chachi will not let anyone touch it, not even your chachu, OK? Now off you go and straight to bed this time," she said in a mock stern voice as Aliya ran upstairs but cast a glance towards the fridge one last time before scurrying back to her room. As Noor made to pick up the stool, a pair of hands shot forward.
"Here, let me help," Arjun told her picking up the stool as Noor smiled gratefully at him.
"I didn't hear you come. When did you get back?" she asked him as he kissed her on the forehead before heading into the kitchen to help her with laying out the dinner.
"Not surprised," he replied pulling out plates from the drawer. "You were busy chasing Aliya when I got here," he said smiling as Noor shook her head in disbelief.
"You won't believe this Arjun but the kid is obsessed. She must have checked the damn fridge every once in ten minutes since we got back last night and even when I put her to bed, she snuck out to make sure no one has eaten the cake," she sighed as they sat down to eat.
They spoke about everything and nothing in particular. As Arjun recounted his day at work, Noor spoke about their annoying next door neighbor, Aliya's drawing classes, her pregnancy woes, Aliya's favorite new toy, expressed her annoyance on how demanding and fussy kids had become off late and how their Aliya was nothing like those brats. Arjun smiled as Noor ranted off. This had been their routine for the last four years and he was used to Noor fussing over the smallest of small things where it concerned their four year old niece.
"And uh, Arjun? Do me a favor will you?" she asked him as they were about to finish their meal, her voice taking on a serious note, her earlier cheerful banter all forgotten.
"Please make sure it is not there by morning," she pleaded him with a knowing look in her eyes.
Arjun said nothing for a while and then slowly inclined his head in a nod.
Once Noor had fallen asleep, he crept out of the bedroom quietly so that she would not wake up. Making himself a cup of coffee, he decided to research on his latest case now that he was fully awake. He lost track of time as he engrossed himself fully on the task at hand and snapped up only when he heard the door unlock. He checked the time on his laptop and it was 2am already. He stifled a yawn as his elder brother walked in, still dressed in his pilot's uniform.
Captain Aditya Hooda threw his jacket on the sofa before slumping into it and rubbed the muscles on his neck. He had not slept a wink over the past two days but yet sleep was the last thing on his mind. His tousled hair, rumpled shirt and distracted eyes were screaming hit-the-damn-bed but his defiant mind took over his every sense just like it had taken over his heart four years ago. Over the years he had learned to mask and mold all his feelings till he shut every door of his heart to everyone around him including his four year old daughter.
He broke out of his reverie when his younger brother held out a glass of water to him.
"Thanks Arjun," he replied before taking a sip from it. "You're still up?"
"Yeah bhai, was working on a case. By the way Noor has kept your dinner in the fridge," he reminded him as Adi got up.
"I think I will skip. Not hungry," he said as he made to go.
"Bhai ummm... Noor had saved some cake for you. Have that at least," he requested his older brother.
"Arjun I told you I am not hungry," Adi replied, more firmly this time in an emotionless tone but his younger brother had had enough.
"Bhai we need to talk," he said drawing himself up but Adi was in no mood to get into an argument.
"Arjun I am tired," he sighed.
"Another one of your lame excuses bhai. When was the last time you actually bothered to catch some sleep?" Arjun demanded.
"If you haven't noticed Arjun, I have been in back to back international flights and I think I have earned my break," he stated bluntly.
"Yeah I noticed," Arjun replied sarcastically and added, "and you have been doing this for the last four years around this time. What do you have to say about that?"
"Arjun some of us have work to do," Adi snapped.
"And those who take time out for their families are jobless, aren't they?"
"I don't know what you're talking about and I am not about to start a fight. Now if you will excuse me..." Adi said in a flat voice knowing full well what his younger brother wanted to talk about.
"No bhai, you are not excused. Not this time," Arjun retaliated not willing to let his brother get away easily.
"You do realize you are a father don't you? Or have you forgotten that as well? In any case you are nothing more than just a name on Aliya's birth certificate! Can you even recollect how she looks like or how her voice sounds? When was the last time you even stayed in the same room as her for 5 minutes? Every time you have an excuse to not be around her. But for once, can you muster the courage to accept the truth?" Arjun fumed and even though his words sliced Adi through like a razor sharp knife, he stood impassive as ever.
"Do you have any idea what she has been up to since we got back from her birthday party? She made Noor keep a piece of her birthday cake aside just for you and checks on it every now and then to make sure it is still saved for you! Not only that, every time there is an event in her school, the first thing she does is mark her calendar and tell everyone that her dad will come to see her perform in school and every time her friends tease her you won't turn up but well kudos to you, you prove them right. But you know what? She doesn't cry or kick up a fuss but she continues to hope that you will turn up next time. Little does she know that her wait is futile. It was and will always be," Arjun said bitterly and he knew he'd probably toed the line with his elder brother but he didn't care this time. He knew Noor was right and they couldn't keep up this farce forever.
"You are there in every picture she draws and you hold the most prominent place in her family chart. She even has a place for you in her doll house, not that you care! You mean the world to her bhai but you don't even want to be a part of it. In any case, do me a favor will you? Just throw that cake outside and I'll lie to her that you had it. It's bad enough you break her heart all the time without a care but I don't have the heart to do it," he said in disdain and stormed off to his room.
10 years ago: Dehradun, Hooda Mansion
Aditya squinted as the first rays of sunlight filtering through the blinds of the window caressed his face, heralding the dawn of a beautiful day. He moaned as he stretched his arms when he felt something warm and soft stir beside him. He turned to his side and the sight that greeted him took his breath away. Pushing a stray lock of hair that obscured his view, he gazed at it long enough to imprint it in his memory. If this were a dream he wished he'd never wake.
"Damn you're beautiful," he whispered as he trailed a finger lightly along her jawline, then her bare arm as Zoya smiled, waking up to the sense of his touch. He pulled her closer, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She felt unreal, like she would break if he dared touch her yet nothing had seemed more real than the feel of her in his arms. He'd never felt more alive than when he was with her.
"I could get used to this," he let out a deep sigh as he said those words.
"Hmmm... But Captain Hooda I cannot get used to making up a cover story every time at home," she said hitting his chest playfully.
"So we are dealing with a turbulence here. How do we work with that?" he mused pretending to think hard.
"That's the captain's call," she said with a tease before leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.
"I must leave now," she said pulling the blanket around herself but the next moment found herself lying on top of Adi who seemed to be in no mood to relent.
"Adi if ammi calls Sakshi aunty to check on me, your plane will crash even before it takes off. Let me go na?" she pleaded while he shook his head resolutely encasing her in his arms.
"There is something I want to try first," he said smirking and rolled her around so that she was now beneath him. From under the pillow, he pulled out a piece of thread that resembled a mannat ka dhaga.
"How does this work?" he asked her in a casual tone as she looked incredulous.
"Adiii... are you kidding me? You want me to give you a training session on that, like right now?" she asked him with a look of utter disbelief on her face as Adi seemed to enjoy her plight.
"Look you have two options - you tell me how this thing works or you stay where you are right now for as long as I want you to. Either way, suits me," he said with a naughty glint in his eyes.
"Fine!" she said rolling her eyes.
"You tie the thread to a lattice or a tree or wherever it is that the rest of them do and then you make a wish. When it is fulfilled, you take it off. There you go. Will you leave me now, please?" she begged him while he deliberated.
"OK, then let's do that now," he said moving to her side and took her hand in his.
"Adi are you mad?" she wondered what was going on in his mind and why he wanted to go to a dargah all of a sudden especially now.
"In any case the dargah is quite far. We can go another day," she tried to reason.
"I don't think I need a dargah for that," he said catching hold of her ring finger. "I'll make do with what we have," he said firmly and even as a surprised Zoya looked on, he tied the thread around it.
"And now I make a wish and oh, I want you to close your eyes by the way," he added.
"Hang on! Am I the one making the wish or you?" she mocked him.
"We are doing it the Adi way," he said as Zoya frowned before closing her eyes.
Smiling Adi silently pulled out a tiny box from his drawer and opened it. It held a beautiful solitaire ring that he had got custom made for her from his first pay check.
"You have been my best friend, you have been my one true love and my home," he started off as Zoya smiled wondering what it is that he would ask her. She was tempted to see what he was trying to do but held herself back.
"And all this while we stole moments for ourselves but I don't wish to do that anymore. I want you to be mine forever and I want the world to know that too," he said as he slipped the ring through the thread and when the cool metal made contact with her skin she gasped opening her eyes.
"Miss Zoya Waseem Siddiqui, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
Adi waited with bated breath as Zoya with tears in her eyes looked at the sparkling ring first and then at him who had laid both his heart and soul bare before her. Words failed her and she tried to say something but only incoherent words came forth. Finally, she could manage to nod her head.
Adi's face split into the happiest smile she had ever seen as he slipped the ring down to her finger and now with his wish fulfilled, he tugged lightly at the thread that came off her finger.
He kissed her passionately and she kissed him back with equal fervor, pouring all her love into that one kiss which more than made up for her lack of words.
Present Day: Hooda Penthouse, Mumbai
A lone tear escaped Arjun's eyes as he tossed and turned in his bed, his wife oblivious to the storm brewing inside his mind. He felt a myriad of emotions - anger, guilt but most importantly a grief that weighed over all of them. He had said a lot of hurtful things to his brother despite knowing the bitter truth that had made him who he was today. But he did not regret having said any of it and neither did he wish to take them back. God knows his brother was in dire need of a reality check but he was doubtful it would bear an impact on him. He had to try though which he did.
And that was when he remembered about the cake. He was sure his brother had not bothered to even look at it by now and he could not bear to look at the crestfallen look on Aliya's face in the morning.
Well if sleep had made up its mind to evade him for tonight, he thought wryly he might as well make himself useful. He tiptoed out of his room when he saw light coming out of the kitchen. Curious he approached it quietly to see what was going on and what he saw was certainly not what he expected. He hid behind a wall and watched the scene unfold as a mute spectator.
Aditya seemed to be rummaging for something in the fridge and a moment later he pulled out the box containing a slice of his daughter's birthday cake.
"Happy birthday!" he said to no one in particular and ate the cake in silence.
Arjun smiled to himself. All was not lost, not yet and he could now see light at the end of the tunnel.
Book Talk
