Rikara: To Serve and to Protect | Part 12 - Pg 36 |05/18/2018| - Page 14

Gauri Sharma

There are times in life when tears become the most valued thing in one's life. They become so scarce that you begin to wonder if the tears have all been spent or if there is something for which they have been reserved.

Gauri you need to know something. There are some things from your past that you should be aware of.

Can fifteen minutes change your life this much? Can it make you question the very basis of your happiness? Funny, it did to me. One minute I am in the hall hearing what Dad has to say and the next, I find myself in my room, trying to escape as the reality comes crashing down. I don't know how long I have been here.

I hear pounding on the door suddenly. Omkara is calling out to me to open the door. I cannot move. I don't think I will even if I can. I close my ears and my eyes and sway back and forth on the bed. As a young child, it helped me block out the worst of experiences, hunger, loneliness, loss of friends. I block the world out and for those few moments I can escape. It does not work this time. I cannot wish the truth away.

"Gauri... Open the door. Open the door Gauri. I want to talk to you.

The pounding continues and then suddenly and thankfully stops.

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I still cannot feel anything. I am unable to comprehend. The room feels suffocating. So, I leave. I keep walking, walking down the stairs, walking out of the door. I don't know where I am going. I don't think it matters to me at this point.

There are a hundred questions in my mind, torturing me, killing me slowly. Sadness is not new to me. But this feels so different. It feels like someone reached into my ribcage and pulled my heart out. I stumble on until I fall. I don't have the strength to get up. So, I stay put, staring at the darkness beyond.

What do you do when you realize that the family you loved have taken you in mainly for your protection? Aren't you supposed to feel grateful, indebted? Then why do I feel betrayed?

You did not ask for their protection. You want their love without conditions.

My mind answers me and mocks me in turns. I don't know if I care anymore. Surprisingly, it is not the truth about my childhood, my parents, or the threat to my life that occupies my heart or mind the most. It is the thoughts of Omkara and the Oberois. Strange how love can be. The fact that my life is in danger does not cause me as much distress as the fact that the Oberois took me in out of duty and not simply out of love. I don't think I can bear even thinking about it. Is everything I have felt this past month for Om, for his family just imagination from my part? I am afraid to answer these questions or seek answers. I am afraid of the answers. A part of me, the crazy one, wishes to go back to the ignorant girl from a few hours back. The impossibility just breaks my heart into a million more pieces.

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Shakti Singh Oberoi

Why didn't you tell me Shakti?

My wife's question haunts me as I sit in my room going over the details from work. I am distracted. I am reading the same report for the third time when I hear her walk in. She goes straight to the bathroom without a word.

Gauri there is something you need to know. Actually, there is something you all need to know.

My family's reaction, ranges from disbelief to anger to worry. My intentions were to avoid that mainly. I wanted to keep Gauri safe, safe physically as well as from all the pain and sadness. I wanted to avoid the worry and panic. But, Jahnvi's attempted suicide has forced my hand.

The cards I hold close to my chest are what keeps Gauri safe. The moment I came to know of her existence, I swore her protection. But Pinky's decision to get Gauri married to Omkara and my second son's acceptance were coincidental, not planned. I have come to love Gauri like my own daughter. How do I make it all right with her?

"I just wish you had trusted us earlier.

She is the one who is most disappointed in me. I don't explain or excuse myself. She understands me too much to expect any. She knows my reasons for secrecy. She cannot agree with it though she understands the needs of my job. Pinky sighs as though she can hear me.

"Sometimes, I do wish you were less of a policeman and more my husband. In all this, you have been unfair to Gauri. Think about what she is going through now.

I acknowledge that with a bent head. Whatever path I chose, it was chosen with best intentions, but I will be doing a disservice if I don't accept that Gauri is the most affected by the decisions I made, decisions that she had no say in, decisions that should have been hers for it was concerning her life.

"She is family Pinky.

"That does not mean we make all the decisions for her without her consent. I cannot argue with that.

"Do you think she will be able forgive me?

Pinky looks at me steadily and then replies softly.

"I am sure she will Shakti but will Om?

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Annika Shivaay Singh Oberoi

My thoughts are in a mess. Shivaay is no help because he is ranting and raving in the confines of the room. Gauri occupies my thoughts the most. I cannot imagine what she is going through right now. Dad has, with all good intentions, made it worse by keeping it all a secret. But then, he is Shakti, the enigmatic commissioner. Of one thing I am sure. Dad will never let his family down.

"Shivaay, calm down.

He stops at my voice and then comes to sit beside me.

"Annika, he has done it this time. Why cannot he trust us to help him? It has always been this way. And now, those two will suffer in guilt.

I understand he means Gauri and Om.

"Nothing like that will happen.

My voice is sharp. Shivaay looks at me curiously. "I hope so Annika. "

He places his head on my lap, his eyebrows wrinkled in concentration.

"They are not going to let him go easily this time. Everything is spiraling out of control. I don't know how to prevent it all from collapsing

I run my hand through his hair in a soothing action. "Then just trust him. Be there for him when he needs you.

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Omkara Singh Oberoi

It started out so normally. We are all in the hall. Gauri and Bhabhi are listening to us explain how we are continuing the investigation about the dead and missing girls on our own. Dad and Mom walk in just then. I know immediately that there is something amiss.

"Gauri, there is something you need to know.

My dad's opening is normal. He then gently makes my mother sit along with us while he stands in the front. It feels like all those times ago when dad explained something bad in his line of work that affects us.

"Actually, there is something you all need to know.

As he explains in detail, about the Kapoors, Gauri, the orphanage, the search for the missing daughter and the reason for her protective detail, I feel a sense of foreboding raise. How do things become so complicated, so quickly?

I sit stunned, in a myriad of emotions. How is Gauri going to handle so many shocks at the same time? My family reacts in different ways from anger to disbelief to sadness. The room erupts with questions from everyone except the one that this affects the most. My eyes look for her next to me only to find the seat vacant. I see her disappear upstairs right at the nick of time and jog behind her.

She does not open the door. I keep knocking, calling out to her to come out but there is no answer. It is finally Annika Bhabhi who stops me.

"Give her sometime Omkara. It is all too much right now. Just give her some time.

I take her advice.

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The house is quiet. Everyone is exhausted after the evening revelations. I will not forget the look of horror on my mother's face when father revealed why there was a threat to Gauri's life.

"Why didn't you tell me Shakti?

My usually forthright father looked chastised as my mother looked at him. For the first time in years, mother went to her room without a further word.

While there is family upheaval, Gauri occupies my thoughts primarily. I find myself walking to her room to check in on her in the middle of the night. Her pale face, the sight of which I caught just before she disappeared into her room is unforgettable. I just want to see her once, to make sure that she is alright.

I tiptoe outside the room lest I disturb her only to find my heart drop. Her door is open, and she is nowhere in sight. A quick but thorough search of the house reveals that she is not anywhere inside the house. Panic sets in and I am aware of my heart painfully slamming in my chest. For the first time in our relationship, I am afraid of losing her. Even the whiff of that thought makes it difficult for me to breathe. At that moment I know what Gauri means to me.

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"She is at the hostel premises of her school. She walked in and the warden gave her the guest room to spend the night. She is safe, Omkara. Sunil is keeping an eye.

I sigh in relief and nod silently at my dad. He walks away silently, and I feel conflicted. Is it fair to be angry at him for doing his job? But will Gauri believe?

I stop myself from going behind my dad. Gauri will have to come first this time.

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I find her a day in the farther most corner of the school garden that night as arranged. She has been avoiding all my calls and messages throughout the day. Finally, she agreed to meet tonight. The silence between us is killing me.

She is sitting in the dark, staring straight ahead. As I near her, her frame visibly tenses. Suddenly, she gets up and starts to walk away. I feel another stab of pain in my heart.

"Don't go. Don't shut me out Gauri. Talk to me. Please...

She has every right to be angry with me, every right not to want to face me or my family. Coming from a family of cops, I understand my dad's compulsions for secrecy but even then, this time, I oddly find myself questioning his choices. Maybe if he had been forthright, a part of Gauri's grief could have been avoided. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

I am aware of one thing. I cannot lose her. To lose her will mean never finding myself ever again. The urge to make her understand, make her see that we love her is overwhelming. I need her. My family needs her. I only hope she will let us be a part of her family. But words fail me.

We stand looking at each other for the longest time. I can hear my heart beat rapidly in my ears. Her face is inscrutable.

"What am I supposed to feel? She finally asks quietly.

"Am I supposed to be sad, angry? What am I supposed to feel Omkara? Because I feel nothing. I feel like I am in a void and I don't know what to do.

There are no raised voices, no anger. Just simple words that sound of defeat, of hopelessness. My heart painfully contracts. I wish she is raving mad and angry instead. My heart breaks seeing her like this and her next words only serve to make it all worse.

"I don't belong here. I don't belong with your family. I am a charity case like that reporter said. I need to leave from here, leave this place.

She tries to get up hurriedly. I hold her wrists stopping her from going further. She struggles, and I tighten my grip. My heart tells me that if I let her go now, I will never get her back. She struggles a bit more and then stops.

"Let me go Omkara. Her voice is filled with so much sadness.

"I cannot. I won't let you go. You are my fianc Gauri. We belong together. She laughs mirthlessly at that.

"What fianc? What kind of marriage? A misguided sense of duty cannot be the basis of a lifetime relationship Omkara. Just let me go.

That hurts. Awfully. She turns to me and meets my eyes steadily. Her eyes shimmer with untold pain and anger.

"I realize why dad has done what he has done. I can accept that he is duty bound. But you were not. All you had to do was tell me the truth. But you pretended instead and proposed marriage. Did the police commissioner order you to marry me? Am I simply a part of your work? Tell me ACP Omkara Singh Oberoi. Is our relationship simply one of duty for you?

Her restraint breaks at that point. She launches herself at me, hitting me with her tiny wrists, questioning me, accusing me. I let her vent it out. I want her to. She has every right. She breaks down, finally sobbing her heart out. I hold her to me as her legs buckle, the strain too much for her to bear. I hold her close to my heart, so close hoping that she can hear my heart beat.

"Gauri. Listen... Listen to me... I whisper close her to ears as her sobbing subsides. "Please trust me.

She looks at me with her big eyes and all I want to do is to take away all that pain and sorrow and make her smile again. To think that I am the reason for her sorrow... Of everything that my dad said, she picks on this to make herself hopeless. The depth of her feelings for me humbles me.

"Gauri, you are right. I agreed to our marriage because of my parents, especially because they were worried for you.

She sags again like my words are too much for her to bear.

"But that is not the reason I want to marry you. That was never the reason. She looks down then, her eyes shedding those precious tears.

"Look at me. Just look at me. I gently lift her chin up until she is staring into my eyes.

"I cannot live without you. I want to marry you because I am in love with you. I love you Gauri Sharma. Nothing else matters... You belong with me.

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Gauri Sharma

I step outside the school grounds to catch a taxi home. Two days since the fateful night and 3 nights. I have had a lot of time to think. Omkara, after his confession, has left me, giving me time to process everything.

"I won't push you Gauri. But don't take too long. I miss you too much already.

I am swimming in a pool of emotions ranging from sadness to worry to happiness. I am unable to comprehend a lot of things. A day alone helps sort out some pertinent questions. I realize that whatever it may be, I trust dad. I also miss them all.

"Maam, you need to go back home.

I jump, startled at the voice near me. Khanna, Dad's personal assistant/driver looks around a little worriedly. I am surprised seeing him and then remember, protective detail.

"The detail was pulled off this morning. You need to come home. Please.

I am surprised, but I realize that there is something Khanna is not letting me know. I have never seen him this worried. It rings alarm bells in my head. In the next five minutes, I am on my way back home. It is time to be with my family.

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Omkara Singh Oberoi

Breaking news: Kapoor Suicide investigation Police Commissioner blamed in note? Is there a coverup?

The newspaper headline screams out of the stands. I can now understand the whispers around the corridors these past two days at work. This is going to get ugly. I hurry home.

The sight there warms the cockles of my heart. The family stands together around dad. After that night, the house has been divided. With Gauri's absence, mom and Bhabhi have been morose and silent with Shivaay openly making his views known. But it looks like things are looking up.

I can see dad is unusually moved. I wonder why when at the exact same moment, I see her. She is smiling and crying in their midst. She is back to where she belongs, my Gauri.

I feel a sudden burst of joy that makes me forget the headline for a moment. It is Khanna who reminds me.

"Sir, they will be here in five.

My thoughts come crashing back down. First things first.

I walk towards the entire family and they turn around to see me, smiling. It is Shivaay who realizes that something is amiss.

"What is it?

I walk up to dad and show him the paper in my hand. Everyone peers in. Bhabhi and mom both let out gasps of surprise while Gauri has a look of horror on her face. Shivaay and Rudra look at me worried.

At that exact moment, four men walk in, their steps measured, ordered.

"Mr. Shakti Singh Oberoi, we are from the Central Bureau of Investigations. We are here to take you into custody regarding our investigation about the Kapoor case.

We watch silently as I dad nods his head and walks towards them. No one intervenes. Everyone knows the routing. Just before leaving dad turns around to look at us.

"Shivaay, Om, Rudra... Keep them safe.