Bipasha and Karan are 'lame', 'goofy' and very much in love!

When Bipasha Basu and Karan Singh Grover stepped into a Bandra eatery for this interview, it was refreshing to not see them flanked by their managers. They find this writer waiting at a table, greetings are exchanged, orders are placed after a mutual exchange of notes on our favourite smoothie, and just like that, without a formal 'start' signal, we realise we are five minutes into the conversation.

Bipasha Basu with husband Karan Singh Grover

Their unassuming demeanour takes a little getting used to. But then, almost everything Basu and Grover do appears so. They steer clear from industry parties and brandish their love on social media, making them the least private celeb couple we know. Now, with the latest condom commercial they have shot for, they have become the first married couple to have endorsed such a brand. "Why can't a married couple endorse condoms? Just because you are married does not mean you have no responsibility towards your partner," Basu says.

"We can't use sex as a dirty word. We wished that the conversation moved from sensuality to planned pregnancy, protection from STDs, and of course, loving your woman. Who talks about this in this country?" The ad was offered to them soon after they were married, and the decision to star in it was mutual. But they waited till they were sure the communication was fine-tuned to convey what they wanted to say.

Bipasha Basu and husband Karan Singh Grover

Call them an evolved couple, and Basu rolls her eyes. "You know, Karan loves to use that word for us. But, we are what we are. I love taking photos and sharing them. My friends call me a 'Japanese tourist'. I have been like that since I was a little girl." "You are still a little girl," Grover says, landing a peck on her cheek. A slightly conscious Basu then smiles and says, "We love expressing love. We are goofs. We are lame." Karan has his own theory on this. "When you are acting, you get to be someone else anyway. Why be so, at other times."

Edited excerpts from the interview:

On intimacy
Basu: We shared great chemistry and, even while shooting this ad, Karan looked like he was on holiday. He was in the pool all day, and each time the shot was ready, we had to beg him to come out. Grover: I am getting paid to get into the pool and make out with my hot wife! What do you expect?
Basu: He was always into the moment.
Grover: I am always into you!
Basu: I don't think the ad is steamy, per say. It just shows our playfulness. We did not need a director's instructions. That's how we are when we are together anyway. It was comforting to have my husband with me. One thing's for sure - we would not have done this ad with another co-star.

A still from the condom commercial

A physical and a non-physical trait you are attracted to in each other
Basu: Physical would be the whole package. Non-physical would be his heart. He has a golden heart, and he will hate me for saying this, but he is more sensitive than me.
Grover: You are not supposed to say these things in public.
Basu: I need to keep his macho image going.
Grover: I like her eyes, if I had to choose.
Basu: Why don't you tell her what you really like? I'm the most ungraceful person, and that's what he can't get over.
Grover: Let me explain. So, you see her working out in the gym, so hot and sexy, and then she just comes out and sits and talks in the most ungraceful manner (makes a face)
Basu (laughs): I said to him last evening, I am like a Parsi aunty at home, who likes to just lounge in her nightie.

On social media
Basu: I had to convince him to get on it. He's not a poser, unlike me. After the first shot, he starts making faces.
Grover: I don't even understand the art of taking photos - lighting, cropping. I don't understand what to do with myself in photos, that's why I make faces. But, I'm learning, and I'm better now.

On trolls
Grover: Really? People troll me? Like they say bad things?
Basu: The negativity is little when compared to the love we get back. Yes, people can be brutal, but does it bother us? No. Social media is a great tool but you need nerves of steel to deal with the criticism that it can draw. If our friends, normal couples post their cosy moments on social media, why can't we? And why does it have to be seen as a 'brave' act?
Grover: Celebs are private because they fear judgment.
Basu: It's hard to read the mind of trolls, but we do feel sad for them.

On consent and #MeToo
Basu: When it's a crime like rape or sexual assault, that is horrific and one obviously doesn't know what to do. But when you can make a choice, you cannot be the victim. I have never taken this much sh** from anyone in the industry. I have lost out on stuff but I have slept in peace.
Grover: But then you are a strong woman.
Basu: No, I was only 15 when I started. But, I made tough choices to stand up for myself and not be the victim.
Grover: If you don't respect what the other person wants, sexually or otherwise, then that's weird. Nothing that follows then, is real. I am not sure what exactly this campaign is achieving, but at least people are coming out and sharing stuff.

On socialising
Basu: He sleeps at 10.30 pm, wakes up at 5 am. How can we party?
Grover: We have also never understood what happens in these parties. Yes, people network. I say, boss, that's never going to happen for us.
Basu: We only go when we are well rested, and of course, most often to honour an invitation, say thank you.

On dealing with the past
Grover: Whatever life that was, good or bad, it brought me to her. Now, my real life has begun.
Basu: I have had my share of sadness, and I needed this storm of laughter and happiness, someone looking after me. Initially, I was like, 'is this really happening to me?' I never had anyone looking after me.
Grover: When I told my parents about her, my dad said, 'beta, tumhara toh sab kuch wrong hai, how did you manage this?' If you judge me by what has happened in my life, that's not good. I chose not to live a lie. That is hard to do.
Basu: You need to give a person a chance. Initially, my parents did not like him. And now, they are so fond of him. Mum says, 'Yeh mera beta, tu meri bahu!' He's the fish-eating, conch-shell playing damaad they had thought they'd never have.

On starting a family
Basu: He's great with children and I love kids too, but I don't think we are ready yet.
Grover: Children should never be a mistake, that is also one thing we want to communicate through the ad. Planned pregnancy is crucial. We'll get there when the time is right.