Posted:
While I agree female on male rape is impossible but fake rape accusations can completely ruin a career
I feel anyone who puts a false case should be prosecuted and forced to give financial compensation. While it may not deter some people but it does something. Should be similar to every misuse of any law.
Reading about self-preservation makes me chuckle a bit . Where do one draw that list with women? They should mind the way they dress while men will never think. They should learn to ignore catcalls, stars, ogling in public while men won't. They should "choose" careers wisely because they cannot work in certain industries . They should think twice while interacting with guys because least they give wrong signal. Shouldn't party late or drink. Should be mindful of every touch on public transport while I doubt men ever fear that unwanted touch , groping while travelling. Should also learn to be like "one of the boys" especially at work. I could go on and on..
But it's frankly exhaustive. I am tired of being told we should teach girls about self-preservation while then also never accepting truly that women are not equal to men, society has denied them that right and that it is on society who needs to rectify it , hence concept like feminism.
Ofcourse most of us writing essays here try self-preservation but I truly hope women always remember it shouldn't be this way. It is not the right way. It is not our responsibility ever.
This is what anger me whenever we talk about crimes about women, inequality experienced by women..nobody just shuts up and listens .The response is mostly joined by a "But" and an anecdote how some women harm men or how laws are unfair and blah blah..You see the anger, frustration..we never even have patience to understand and empathize when a woman shares her experience. It needs famous powerful women and even then the narrative is always looking for an answer beyond the obvious.
If we don't speak we are told why did you stay silent and if we speak we are asked for proofs. It never is easy for us. No woman will like to recount the horrors but we internalize, sometimes question and chide ourselves for not "self preserving well".
It is not just a rural problem or like few here say it is urban pop culture and women in urban cities and sphere don't face it. Hell it never stops. Colleagues , bosses and what not. I wonder how many men think twice about their female or male bosses while interacting or joining any org.
Here is a powerful women and it took her now to even mention few of her experiences. HW is filled with women explaining how it happens in life, offices. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/greys-anatomy-showrunner-harassment-hollywood-not-just-harvey-guest-column-1049309
There is another one with a comedy writer who explained how she was happy to be hired for a big show and she was the only girl in the writing room. Her episodes were appreciated , won praises but then she was slowly sidelined and one fine day in presence of the actors, producers and creator , one colleague rubbed his penis while she was working on a script. Yup that happened and rather than helping her , she was told to quit as environment is not for her. She lost her money , opportunity while others continued. She didn't risk a case or complaint because "self-preservation". But she made it a point to share this experience in every writing room so that male writers understand, listen.
Tum Se Tum Tak
6