It was a peaceful night. The wind rustled gently and the full moon illuminated the otherwise dark night.
Most people were enjoying this night with a cup of coffee and a content expression on their face. All except her..
Right in the middle of that serene Street sat a young girl. All dressed in white..the dupatta around her neck dancing in complete rythm with each gust of wind. Her long black tresses were left open covering or...perhaps hiding the side of her face. She sat quietly just staring at the night. Maybe marveling at its beauty much like everyone else. Atleast that's what the people passing by were thinking.
But nothing could be further from the truth because what these people failed to notice were the tears streaming down her face quickly being followed by new ones. Yet not a single sob did she let out. She was a strong woman. Resilience could have been her middle name. But there are some things that can crush even the strongest of people.
Gauri omkara singh oberoi. Had now once again become gauri kumari sharma. Atleast that's would people had said to her. But In her mind she would never be anything but Mrs omkara singh oberoi even if she tried to change. He had slipped his way into her soul and taken over it in a way that had become impossible for her to overthrow. He had painted over her life much like he used to do with a blank canvas.
The only thing was if a canvas wasn't wanted it could have been thrown away. But how was she to get rid of her soul? How could she possibly manage to throw away her heart?
Gauri sat there and kept recalling the past few hours of her life.
Omkara had decided to take gauri out for her birthday as he had been in Greece for an art seminar the previous week, which was when her actual birthday was.
The entire day had been spent in the utmost bliss. The day had been a perfect mix of extravagant surprises and little, simple joys, as if representing the both of them. The larger than life omkara and the simple and lively gauri.
The ride back home consisted of om and gauri holding hands and smiling at each other, no doubt reliving this perfect day.
That was when a small flower shop caught gauri's eye. She had always had a particular affinity towards flowers. Noticing that om, parked the car and squeezed gauri's hand.
'I'll be right back' he had said. He gave gauri a quick peck on the cheek and without another word got out of the car and headed towards the shop.
That small action had shocked gauri. Yes, she loved him. But she had never told him that because she was sure that she was nothing more than a friend to him and would never be. She was happy just being with him regardless of what he did or didn't feel for her.
But this action...for the first time had ignited a small flicker of hope in her heart. Maybe this was the beginning of him feeling for her what she so truly and deeply felt for him.
She looked at him standing across the street, anxious to see maybe something in his eyes that would give some validity to this completely ridiculous thought that had crept up in her heart.
However she wasn't a mind reader and nor was this a movie, all she could see was him pondering over which flower to buy for her. Gauri peered curiously at him.
'What would he buy for me?' she had wondered.
She doubted he knew what her favourite flower was.
Much to her surprise, pleasant surprise, he picked up exactly what she loved. Jasmine, her favourite. He picked up two of those.
Gauri wondered for a brief second before realising that white roses were his favourite flower while 3 was her favourite number.
Just like that, the bouquet became a representation of them. Intertwined together...
Both were completely lost in each other's eyes.
If only they hadn't..
Gauri was thinking how lucky she was to have him when she heard a honk. Before she could look towards the noise, the car had crashed straight into omkara, sending him flying to the middle of the road.
Silence...
That's all she heard. She could see people rushing towards that limp body sprawled helplessly across the ground. She could see people panicking. She could see it all. But all she could hear was the sound of her world crashing down. She jumped out of the car and ran frantically towards him.
She pushed her way into the crowd that had formed around him.
"Omkara ji! Omkara ji!" She yelled as she cradled his head in her arms.
"Aap fikar nahi kijiye, aapko kuch nahi hoga." She struggled to mask her fear.
"Please koi ambulance bulaiyeh!" her voice shook with panic.
"Hum aapko kuch nahi hone denge" she said, tears streaming down her face as she examined his condition.
"Gauri, gauri" om managed to croak out, his voice still surprising calm. "Look at me".
Om grabbed gauri's face with both his hands and brought her face down until her forehead touched his.
He looked straight into her eyes, a surprisingly content and happy smile on his face.
"Ishq pe hoga yakeen, ishq hojane ke baad" he whispered.
He moved his lips near her ear and whispered something that gauri couldn't register at that moment due to the state of panic and fear she was in. Too busy yelling for the ambulance.
Omkara pulled back to his former position once again foreheads touching and forcing gauri to look at him. He stared into her eyes until his own eyes closed. Forever.
"Omkara ji!" Gauri breathed as she snapped out of her reverie. She looked around and she was back on that sidewalk, clothed in white.
Clutching a brown diary.
Shivaay had given gauri this diary half an hour ago after he had returned from his brother's funeral.
"Keep this" he had said. "He always used to write his most personal poetry in this diary. You need this the most"
With a reassuring hand on gauri's head Shivaay walked off solemnly, probably to deal with his grief somewhere in seclusion.
Gauri had been clutching the diary, too afraid to open it. Because after this, she would never read anything else written by him.
Gauri looked up at the sky in despair looking at the moon. Her mother had always said that those who truly and deeply love us always talk to us through the moon. But no matter how much she tried to find om in that moon, she couldn't seem to locate him.
'Because he had never loved me' she reminded herself. That didn't matter to gauri because she had always felt her love was enough for the both of them. She had no regrets regarding that. But she did have one regret, she never told him how she felt, she had always been too afraid.
Pushing these thoughts aside, she began to open the diary. Out fell a piece of folded paper.
Gauri bent down to pick it up and froze when she saw her name written on it with om's handwriting.
Gauri,
Where do I start from?
It feels funny writing this to you when you are sitting right next to me at this moment. God knows what you are blabbering to yourself, all I know is that this has become my favourite sight in the world.
Even though you are sitting barely 5 steps away from me, I could never say this to you in person.
So in this letter I want to tell you
The three things I could never tell you...
The first thing;
I am sorry...
I am so incredibly sorry. I'm so truly sorry for all the pain I have given you. I'm sorry for each and every time that I have thrown allegations at you. I'm sorry for each time that I have made you cry. I'm sorry for all the times that I have doubted you. I'm sorry for all the times that I have made you doubt yourself. But most of all...
I'm sorry that I couldn't
I'm sorry that I never can...
The second thing that I could never say to you is
Thank you
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for saving this man. A man who had been lost for so long. I was lost somewhere in the darkness, you held my hand and brought me in to the light.
Thank you for being my first friend in the form of chulbul. Thank you for giving me that experience. Thank you for being my inspiration. Thank you for being my muse. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for caring.Thank you for making my family yours and taking on their problems like they were your own. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for every smile. Thank you for teaching me how to live. Thank you for teaching me how to love.
Thank you for being you
Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for becoming my life
Most importantly, thank you...because you never stopped loving me, even when I gave you a thousand reasons to...
The last thing is something that I have always been scared to admit yet it has also been something that I have known for a long time.
Growing up, all I saw in love was deceit. Torture. Heartbreak. My parents and their relationship had such an effect on me that I didn't realise myself.
It's funny, I'm a poet. words are supposed to be my forte and I'm at a loss for words to express what and how intensely I feel for you..
Gauri, I love you...
So much that it makes me feel more alive than I have in years. So much that it scares me. So much that it rattles my very bones. You have become my everything. My way to breathe, my universe, my life, my soul.
And even if you take my heart and stomp on it. I'll still never be able to stop loving you.
This kind of love is eternal.
This kind of love is scary
This kind of love is the kind that omkara loves his chiraya with.
I love you. Always have, always will.
"Ishq pe hoga yakeen, ishq hojane ke baad"
Mujhe hogaya yakeen gauri, hogaya yakeen mujhe...
Yours even after death, omkara.
A lone tear escapes gauri's eye as she closes her eyes and clutches that letter to her heart.
And finally she registers what omkara had whispered in her ear.
"Yakeen hogaya Mujhe"
In that moment she looks up at the moon once again and clear as day she sees him. As he says "I love you gauri"
Gauri smiles through her tears.
"I love you omkara ji"...