funny real signs and notices

These are supposedly actual signs or notices that have appeared at various locations.

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."

Seen in a health food store. "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot"

"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."

I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.

Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


Sign in beauty shop window: "Dye now!"



Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."



In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor."

A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS"

A sign in front of a Macadamia Nut Factory in Hawaii: "Caution: Nuts crossing road."