Posted:
Yes , actually yesterday Shivay's behaviour didn't surprize me at all . He was a walking volcano which could've exploded at any given time , with out notice period.
Nothing that he did or said in yesterday's episode is the sole reaction to the events of sangeet only. It goes far deeper n much beyond that. Things were adding up little by little in his conscious and subconscious both. His insecurity .. his jealousy.. his obsession .. his possessiveness ..
And others , RiRU plan n Rags-TB team up both abetted him towards the cliff and helped him fall off the deep end !
His sense of rejection from the ill fated day of their separation never left him , never got the necessary closure. Annika coming back to OM put a temporary band aid over his wounds , that he were licking for the last 3 months , and he , to some extent , went back to being old Shivay , reassured and soothed by the fact that she returned to OM for him . It was so obvious.
But the niggling sensation of jealousy always was there , looming large with Annika's stunts to make him jealous to bring back his Tadi. She did it all for him ,and even the idea was given by his brother only , but he never knew that. He saw and interpreted it as her going to meet her fiance aka Vikram.
After that , he announced his engagement to Rags . Of course Annika was shattered , but she's strong , her will power is like steel. She didn't budge and refused to give Shivay the reaction he wanted , rather needed from her , a break down , or at least some tantrums.
Every time Annika went to him to open his eyes regarding Nagini , SSO ignored or brushed off her attempts , tagging them as jealous tantrums , " Tum Ragini se jealous ho.. "
It was greatly comforting for him to think them as her jealousy , instead of honest attempts to protect him , because that was the only reaction he was getting.
Well.. two could play at a game.
I believe that at some point , since his tadi was back n the purpose of their J drama was achieved , Annika would've clarified spontaneously that she never got engaged . I also know that once she if she'd indeed done that at any point , Shivay would've instantly confessed that he isn't interested to get engaged to Ragini either !
But Annika was hurt and angry too regarding Ragini's constant hovering around Shivay and him allowing her ( in a strictly friendly way , but to Annika even that was painful since his announcement ) , so she never clarified , and the misconception remained.
She even thought he's getting married to Ragini to have NKK babies.
" Tabhi to humare divorce ke teen mahine baad ap dusri bar ghode pe chad ne ke liye tyar hai .. "
Lots of other things happened in between, they worked as a team to bring together other two couples - Ruvya and Rikara . Then , Pari happened .. They spent a lot of time together and both felt and understood that none has really moved on .
Therefore , when Shivay found out that Annika had actually left due to some truth , a sort of "sacrifice." , he started dismissing the very presence of a fiance in her life. Why'd she have a fiance if she left him for a cause and also where is this fiance ??
So.. two things became important for him -
1. Find out the truth - get the closure on the fiasco and rejection on separation day. Be sure she won't ever walk out again , because of the same. Be sure that it was not for a minor reason and her leaving was justified.
2. Dismiss the fiance hoax once and for all , so that she couldn't hide behind it and ALSO , for his own assurance.
Then , Tb entered their lives and things went downhill .
Shivay brought him himself ( what irony ) to meet Annika , confident that she'll be caught in her lies . He can see she's lying. But TB threw a spinner by agreeing to the fiance story and backing it up !
Shivay had no choice , he was enraged but he's SSO . He hasn't learned to accept defeat.
Problem is neither did Annika.
When TB offered to play along , it looked too tantalizing an offer to Annika , to make Shivay jealous . This time she wasn't doing it for him , she was doing it for herself , her insecurities and her scars from the divorce were raw too , she also never got closure. She took a wrong step and got trapped .
But never did she imagine things will go to the extent of marriage.
Shivay did a bog gamble by insisting , literally cornering Annika to get married to TB in 2 weeks, He expected a strong and firm refusal . But after initial resistance , Annika agreed. The disappointment , disbelief and heart break of that moment was like a blow for Shivay.
" Did you just agree ?? "
He couldn't believe his own ears.
He orchestrated the engagement , bring back TB twice , and all the time expecting Annika to back out , praying that she does so.
But situation was already out of hands with TB betraying AniRiRu , n Gauri asking Annika to trust her ! The engagement was stalled by various plans and Shivay put the ring around her fingers and Annika totally allowed.
Later when Ragini came up with the "private engagement" story , Shivay was swinging between belief and disbelief , But being SSO , he couldn't just go and ask her to clarify . Instead he lashed out in bitter hurt and jealousy , taunting a very confused Annika , who was clueless.
But after Ratjaga , when Annika came to him waving a white flag , he was extremely happy and instantly mellowed down , relieved that the marriage is being canceled . At that point , stopping the love of his life from going away was more important to him than knowing the truth.
But waving white flag doesn't cure any old hurt . It's like putting a bandaid against a bleeding wound , temporary result at best.
He played right into Ragini's hands , who cleverly planted another neat little story of ring throwing on his mind . He was already so agitated and jealous at Annika dancing closely and talking with a smile to Vikram , erupted at the "logic-less" story , because at that point , his emotions took over him and threw him in the same dark place where he resided for 3 dark months of his life.
It's not the lack of trust only that came out in their conversation , it was his need to see her do something strongly healing to counter his accusations , may be a tight hug , may be a confession of her love for him , may be a break down - some thing powerful. It'd have mellowed him .
But then , Annika , out of all occasions , chose this one to show her strength .
" I'm not a detergent , I won't give you explanation every freaking time . Think whatever you want. "
She was so hurt and bitter that Shivay trusted Ragini over her , that she failed to see it's not Ragini , but her rejection that had paved the path for this disaster . It was just a calamity in wait , and Ragini is but a catalyst , nothing else. Shivay would've believed anyone who'd tell him this fake story , because he already is standing on the cliff on dark desolate dejection. He no more believes she could never walk away .
" Hath chod ti kaise ho wo to dekh liya , kisi aur ka hath tham ti kaise ho , wo dekhna hai.. "
So , " Aap ko lagta hai mein aisa kar sakti hu ?? " is no more gonna do the trick !
I get Annika . After all these times , she deserves blind trust from Shivay . But each and every word that Shivay said in their heated conversation rang out to be absolutely true .
For Annika , Shivay , being the Prince , couldn't have any insecurities or pent up hurt . But things don't work like that for a heart once beaten , it'll be twice shy. " Sab bhul jaate hai" IS NOT GONNA WORK !
She completely missed the inner cry of her partner , to assure him , sooth him , allay his hurt and doubt and pain and Shivay did what he does to cope with such hurt . He announced marriage with Ragini , in a feat a blind dark anger and resentment and sense of rejection , just the way he'd preponed marriage with Tai so long back over similar feelings .
Ohh these two have a long way to go , before things are peachy . Marriage is but the starting line.
Thoughts ?
Seher Hone Ko Hai
