Define true love. Does it exist or not ? - Page 5

True love exists but its definition differs from the one shown in books, movies, etc.

First; I don't like those types question much, it is too vague.
What answer do you expect? Noone can decide this! For every culture, place and historic era "love" means something different, it is expressed in different ways. Not even starting about term "true love".

To contribute with something from sociology - Erich Fromm was interested in what is "true love" in sense what is the "right love". One of his basic ideas is that we either tend to "have" or to "be".
Having is consuming, possessing, makes you less active in mind etc.
Being is, in his view, rather unselfish, living, enjoying, truly experiencing the reality.

The right way how to love then is not "having" the other one, it is "being" with him/her and letting them be free as well.

He defines the modern relationship as two people who stay strangers their whole life, but who behave well with each other and both of them help the other to make them feel better. It is just way how to avoid loneliness and fight the world "as a couple". They have each other, they are not "being" genuinely with each other.
Freud defines love as sex, or as fulfilling the needs of your instincts, but Fromm disagree. He also describes types of loves: when you glorify someone and you are dependent of them as a lack of your own maturity, sentimental love-unreal just in your fantasies, neurotic love- you just shift the love to your parent into your partner.

So the real love is possible
only when two people connect with each other from the core of their own existence, when each of them is "being" and living from within of the self. When the relationship is not a tranquil harbour but a thing on which you have to work together, discover, grow. When such two realistic, truly living ("being" not "having" mode) individuals have to face a problem then it leads to clarification, crisis and both of them comes out of it stronger and wiser. Such couple is not united against the world, from selfish reasons of individual's profits, it is a couple where people are open to rebuilding your self in order to unite into one with the other one.

The books are called The Art of Loving and The Art of Being.

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Rakkaus ei ole vain romanttinen asia. Silloinkin, kun puhumme romanttisesta rakkaudesta, sen ei pitisi olla toisen kden tunne. Rakkaus on voimakas. Rakkaus on se, mik pit sinut menossa, kukoistaa, yritt ja toivoo toisen huomenna. Voiton keskeinen osa on LOVE.