IshVeer FF : La Douleur Exquise| Important Announcement (Page 51) - Page 38

Chapter 28: The Reluctant Beginnings

"So, she reached back her home and lived happily ever after. Ishani heaved a deep sigh of relief when she finished her narrative, her eyes fixed on the starry sky above her.

"Interesting, Ranveer said, resting himself back on the floor and staring up in the sky. "But you're reading children's stories these days? Are you alright?

Ishani remained silent and then spoke. "Whoever said I couldn't read the children's books? And Wonderful Wizard of OZ is one of my favorite books! she ended proudly.

"Really? Ranveer raised an eyebrow. He had gifted her the book on her 10th birthday and even though she loved to read it as a child, while growing up Ishani had started to get over it and the fantastical realm of the fictional world. And it did surprise him that she had read the entire book all over again. "I thought you weren't interested in it anymore?

"Who said that? Ishani spoke, slightly offended. "I mean, I've always loved this book! Soft smile broke on her face.

"Well...now you're all grown up and all and like to read some serious stuff... Ranveer tried to make an intelligible sentence but failed.

"So?

He shrugged his shoulders. There was a long silence once again, broken by the sounds of the crickets and the wind. Ranveer understood why Ishani took to a decade old book she may not have looked at in last many years.

She also felt they were parting, gradually. Didn't she?

He sensed her lay down beside him on the mattress and heard her sigh. It had been one hour since they came here to find comfort in the solitude on the terrace of the servant quarters, their favorite pastime since childhood; and ever since they came here, Ishani had taken to narrating the recent book she read. This was how she did it always. She'd tell him the stories of the books she read and imagine a fairytale life like the characters from the fictional tales. And while telling him of them, she'd fall asleep until he took her to the room. Thankfully he wasn't caught by Baa but whenever he was, the things sure went ugly; but he made sure Ishani never found out about them and she never did.

"This is the last day of the moon in the sky, Ishani broke the silence and Ranveer looked at her. There was a wistful gleam on her face and if he didn't disturb her, Ranveer was sure to witness a drop of tear appearing in the corner of her eye. And while he was lost in his thoughts a drop of tear did indeed fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Ranveer wiped it away. "I don't know why moon's absence makes me so sad, Ishani said, wiping her face away. "I don't like dark.

"To appreciate the light, we must have the darkness. Too cliche, he admitted, but it would do for now. Her eyes turned towards him and a small smile curved her lips.

"But you love the dark more, don't you? Moon's absence doesn't really bother you. It wasn't a question, but he assumed it was. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the sky again. The dark canvas coloured with the glittering beauties. "Why? Ishani pressed further and Ranveer realized she wasn't going to let the matter go.

He eased himself up and looked at her. "Because it's necessary. The moon in the sky is just a matter of few days and the sky knows this is a cycle that will never end. If it's dark today, the moon will turn up and if there's the moon in the sky in the next phase it won't.

"Don't play the riddles with me, she said, amused and irritated at his obscure answers. Why was he so fascinated by the dark when all sought light in life?

He sighed. "Because this is how it's been. Dark makes me feel safer, away from the scrutinizing eyes of the world. You're in the light, it's like you are there for everyone to be judged, to be frowned upon or to be the target of all the glares trying to put you down.

"Not all those who follow the light are put down.

"I know. But I'm afraid. Afraid to show the world who I am. The real me. The Ranveer that feels torn when he's hurt and the Ranveer that finds it easy to give up everything because he thinks he can't go on. How do you think people around will react if they ever saw him?

"I didn't think you were afraid, Ishani said, awestruck at the revelation. "I mean, come on! You're Ranveer. You can't be afraid.

"But I am. All the time.

Ishani looked at him, as if fascinated by something she had never noticed before, as he stared at her, unblinking. "Don't you think your perspective on the world is little too dark? she said after some time. "People out there can't be so bad.

"How much of the world have you really seen?

"Loads.

"Are you sure? Is it enough?

"Could anything be worse than my father abandoning me when I was a child? Or Baa reminding me every day that I'm worth nobody, not worth fighting? People abandoning me all the time when I need them? The look on her face changed at the last words and she flushed, embarrassed. "It's only been you, Ranveer, who restored my faith in everything, I know. But everyone else... Her last words were a kind of apology and Ranveer remained quiet, concealing the fact that her words affected him negatively, that no matter what he did the most vulnerable part of hers wasn't open to him. It wasn't ever meant to be.

However, he smiled. "The world outside is a cruel place, Ishani. You don't realize it because you haven't seen it yet, he said, ignoring the slight curious look on her face. "When you do something worth noticing, you put yourself in its infinitely fierce scrutinizing gaze, that's willing to tear you apart each second even though you don't realize it. But it does. It gnashes its sharpest teeth in your flesh and finds its own survival, relishing in your spilling misery. And then it blames you that you couldn't live upto its challenges, so you're not worth living. This is how it has always been, Ishani, and this is how it will always be. There are betrayals, pains unmatched. There are unsaid heartbreaks. Ishani, I don't say your struggles aren't real, but when you'll get out of your comfort zone you will realize what I mean. For now, you have everything the world admires. Try to show yourself to the world without any of this and see how many people are nice to you. Everyone is nice to another in their comfort zone, but as soon as they have to get out of it, even the self-acclaimed best people reveal their true colours.

Ishani looked at him, agape, her mouth slightly open. "But people are complex. How can you generalize them like this?

"They are, yes, but to an extent and there comes a time all of us appear the same. And that's called human nature.

"Well... she said after collecting herself, "I didn't know you had all these kind of thoughts too. How do you know all this? You never had time to read beyond the books on stock markets.

"What? Ranveer asked, surprised. "You don't have to do anything to know this, alright? Life teaches you everything with time.

"But still... she drawled her last word and looked at the sky again. She had nothing to say and he smiled at her, and looked back at the sky himself. Neither of them spoke for a long, long time and Ranveer heard Ishani sigh.

"So, two days of the one month are already gone, she said and Ranveer shut his eyes. By all means, he was hoping to avoid the topic of Chirag with Ishani.

"Yeah, he said and the lack of energy in his words was clearly noticed by Ishani.

"Are you alright?

"Yeah, I am. He spoke no further, lest the conversation moved in another directions he wasn't ready to discuss. "Anyway, it's late, and you should be going back to your room. Ranveer stood up and Ishani followed him haphazardly.

"What's wrong with you, Ranveer? she asked, her expressions and voice completely changed. "Why do you keep avoiding some of our conversations all the time?

"Ishani, I... he tried to defend himself but was cut short by Ishani.

"No! she said, now looking at him straight. "I've noticed this quite often. It just seems you're not ready to listen to me most of the times and especially the matters related to Chirag.

"Ishani, it's not like that... He laughed slowly in order to avoid any doubt from his side. "I'm always there for you, trust me.

"Yep, all the time, Ishani taunted, rolling her eyes. "Do you know how horribly Chirag haunts me all the time? It's as if... She appeared thoughtful as though a new realization had suddenly stuck her. "It's as if I'm thinking about him all the time.

Ranveer drew a deep breath, looking away from her.

"But don't think it's because I've started to like him. It's just because he's so annoying. Did you ask him why he came into my room late at night? That alone tells he's not a good person.

Ranveer remained silent. Even if Ishani had contradicted her own statement, he couldn't deny the change in her tone in the second sentence was different from the first one. For a moment it wasn't full of hatred or dislike for Chirag, but in the next moment it was. "I didn't. I'm sorry, he said.

"Chaitali Kaki found it romantic, Ishani said with disgust. "Said, in the movies that's how heroes come to see their heroines. Seriously?

"Ishani, let it go now, Ranveer said. "I'll ask him tomorrow when we meet.

"I'm going mad, I think, she said. "I hope these days pass soon.

"They will, he said with a smile.

The next morning when Ranveer came home from his morning walk, his mother was quieter than usual. She did not look at him or talk to him as was expected. Instead, she went on to working in the house as if he wasn't present there at all. He watched her, confused, trying to start a conversation and understand what was wrong, but in vain. 10 minutes passed and Ranveer found no way to breach the wall of the indifference of his mother. Whenever he went and stood in front of her she changed her ways and went to work on something else and soon it became clear that she was avoiding him, deliberately.

"Maa, will you talk to me, please? he said, going to stand in front of her and not moving when tried to push him aside. "It's been so long and you pretend I'm not here at all. What happened?

She remained silent and pretended not to have heard to him again.

"Maa, what happened? Ranveer asked again.

She made no reply and changed her way back again, getting out of the room.

Ranveer followed her. "Maa, talk to me please! he shouted at the top of his voice and again went to stand in front of her. She finally looked up and sighed, returning back into the room. Ranveer knew this trick would work and it did. He grinned and raised an eyebrow as his mother stood there, looking at him. "What's wrong, Maa?

"Why are you worried? she asked, not saying anything further.

"Is that even a question? he said, still confused. "Maa, why aren't you talking to me?

"Because I don't know what to say anymore, Ranveer, she said, now standing in front of him, having abandoned all her work. Ranveer shivered at the look in her eyes, sheer disappointment dripping from them.

"Maa...

"No, I've always seen you working for the Parekh Mansion, for your Mota Babuji, Ishani and the rest of the family. But what does the family do? she said, tears on the verge of spilling. "I heard what everyone was talking about in the morning... of what happened the day I came here. And you kept that hidden from me?

"Maa, that was nothing serious, and now everything's sorted out. You're taking the stress for no reason.

"Easy for you to say. But I didn't come here to witness you getting humiliated by the hands of these people. Ranveer, leave this house, let's go away somewhere. We'll be much happier.

"Maa, calm down, he said, making her sit on the bed. "Don't worry, and listen to me.

"What listen to you, Ranveer? Last time I came, Baa insulted your father and this time it's you. I'm sure they keep treating other servants like thrash as well. Just go away from here, Ranveer. Go away.

"Maa, please! he said, "It's not that bad, alright? And yes, Baa did insult me, but do you know what Mota Babuji did? He stood up for your Ranveer, Maa. Like you and Baba would have done. And Ishani cried buckets. Can you believe that? The girl suffers silently for her own miseries but when it came to me, she was just... something else.

She looked at him, defeated, and sighed. "Arguing with you and your Baba about leaving this house is utterly useless. But remember one thing, Ranveer, Baa isn't going to change ever, and your Mota Babuji is also her son. I like Ishani, though, for all that she's done for you. Probably she is the only person I had faith in this family. She wasn't like the rest of them.

"Maa, Mota Babuji is never going to do let anything wrong happen to us, alright? You can trust him too.

His mother shook her head. "I'm warning you, Ranveer. I'm warning you, she said and her eyes were filled with tears. "They'll never understand the things you do for them. Servants are just the matter of their moods and once they decide to change them, they don't care who they're getting the rid of. You're one of their servants, that's it. And Ishani doesn't have a say in any of this, I'm sure. No one cares what she has to say.

"Maa, anyone can be like this, but Ishani and Mota Babuji, never, he said. "All these years they've done so much for us and--

"I know, she interrupted. "But ever since I've come here, something feels so wrong.

"Maa, everyone is nice here and don't worry about them, please. And see? Sharman got me shoes too.

"If you ask me, Ranveer, their favours don't come closer to what you do for them, his mother answered with finality in her tone. "It may sound untrue and harsh, but the truth is: you do too much for them and the rewards are these. These insults, these humiliations on the daily basis because we're servants.

"Maa, when you'd live here and see how much Mota Babuji does for us, you will know why we're here. And I promise you won't be disappointed, Ranveer said, smiling.

"Only time will tell. His mother sighed, not ready to listen to his defenses towards the Parekh Family.

There was nothing else he could do, but Ranveer was sure his mother's fears came only from what she had heard. He cursed his fate that his mother came to know about the matters and was hurt. He had firm faith in his Mota Babuji and Ishani and knew as long as these two stayed by his side nothing could go wrong. His father knew what he meant to Mota Babuji and that's why he had remained quiet after everything; and if his mother lived here with them, she would know that it wasn't that bad to live here either. Mota Babuji and Ishani were worth all the insults and humiliations that could be hurled at him. And he could never live without Ishani.

Ranveer came out of his house and turned towards the Parekh Mansion, when he suddenly found Chirag going the same way.

"Hey, Ranveer! Chirag said, and Ranveer looked at him, surprised. What was Chirag doing here? "How are you? Actually, I came to see Gauri and Romil.

"Yeah, they must be in the house, Ranveer answered. And he couldn't keep slight dryness away from his tone. Even if it wasn't too obvious to Chirag, Ranveer was least appreciative of him showing up like this. The thought stung when he realized it was going to be a matter of every day from now on. It didn't take more than 5 minutes to reach the mansion and as soon as they approached there, sounds of laughter flew across the hall.

"Seems like they're all in Devarsh's room, Ranveer said awkwardly.

"Great, Chirag replied. "I'll go and see them there. He began to walk when Ranveer stopped him.

"But you don't know which room is Devarsh's, he said. "It's on the corner in the end on the left side. Upstairs. Informing you because there are Chaitali Kaki and Vishakha Kaki's rooms too.

Chirag understood. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should've known. Alright, I'll see you later.

Ranveer busied himself in the chores, trying not to think of the mission on which he was supposed to be working already. He hadn't thought of a plan yet on how to make Ishani fall in love with Chirag. If he allowed himself to think beyond the promises he'd made to everyone, the concept still appeared unjust for Ishani. She deserved to know what was being done with her. But again, she may thank him later if she truly began to love Chirag someday and his efforts were counted in them. His Mota Babuji was right. He understood Ishani the best and somewhere, he knew how he would make her fall in love with Chirag. Yet that was one thing his soul still shuddered to think about. There was no going back anymore when all was decided, though, he thought again. Chirag or no Chirag, Ishani was going to marry somebody else someday and he himself was to be the witness of everything regarding that. With each day passing, Chirag's presence appeared less and less frightening and more unpleasant. That was all he could say about the man. His wasn't like his father's aura, more dominating and bizarre, but something uncomfortable in a different way. Could it be because Chirag always reminded him that Ishani would never belong to him even as a friend anymore?

"Where are you lost? A voice called him out and softness of it automatically made his lips bend in a smile.

"Ishani, he said, turning towards her, his thoughts far away from Chirag and the plan he was to make. "I thought you were up there with Gauri and Sharman...

"Yeah, I was, but then that stupid Chirag came back. Why on earth did he have to be here in the first place? Ishani asked, irritated. "I was so happy with everyone.

"Let it go, Ishani. You shouldn't ruin your mood for him.

"I don't know how you can keep calm all the time like this. And I don't get if we have nothing else except Chirag to discuss ever. She shook her head and sighed, as if she was tired from a long day's work.

"Ishani, you hate Chirag, but Mota Babuji wants you to meet him, understand him and...

"And marry him, right? Ishani cut through his words. "I know that, but that's what I don't want. He's so--

"Ah, talking about me? Suddenly Chirag appeared behind Ishani. While in their conversation, neither of them had realized when Chirag descended from the stairs and stood beside them.

"No, we have a lot more to talk about, too, Ishani returned, squinting her eyes.

"Has anyone ever told you how cute you look with these expressions? Chirag winked at her and Ishani pursed her lips. "No one? Ever? Too bad people don't appreciate real beauty, you see.

"Ranveer, tell him no one is interested in his praises here. Ishani turned away from Chirag and crossed her arms to her chest.

"Ranveer, tell her she shouldn't be so ungrateful to the people around her all the time, Chirag said in the same tone as Ishani's.

Ishani glared at him and huffed. "Ranveer, tell him people like him aren't needed in my life. Not now, not today, never.

"Ranveer, tell her not to take people in her life for granted who care about her.

"Ranveer, tell him I don't ever do that, Ishani said, her voice loud.

"Oh, hello! Ranveer said, irritated. "Are you two small kids who can't speak what you like? Whatever you want to say, just say it in front of one another. He turned them both towards each other and stood there, watching Ishani and Chirag. He swallowed hard and gave a sigh. "Ishani, please try to understand. Stop fighting. And, Chirag, I apologize on her behalf. She can get stupid at times.

"No, no, it's alright, Chirag said with a smile. "Ishani, you know what? I loved your coffee a lot yesterday. Can I have another in the same flavor?

"You loved that coffee? Ishani asked, almost shocked.

"Of course, he said and Ishani rolled her eyes. "Thank you.

"I can survive without that, Ishani retorted.

"Ah, very well. I see you're going to make coffee, I'll wait in your room, he said.

"Who said I was going to prepare coffee for you?

"You are going to do that, Chirag said and smiled. "Come on, I'm waiting in your room. And before Ishani could protest anything he was gone.

Ranveer's fingers involuntarily curved into fists, and an emotion akin to dislike washed over him, deceiving the very smile on his face which only turned into a grimace as he stood there all alone. Ishani was gone. A thousand thoughts came to him and disappeared in the frenzy, making his vision blurry before his eyes. But suddenly he felt someone press a hand on his shoulder.

"Ranveer? It was his mother and the look on her face explained she understood what he was thinking.

"Maa, you here? He smiled but failed to convey any happiness in it. "What are you doing here? he asked further when her expressions did not change.

"What happened? she asked, her eyes firmly staring into his. "You look... torn.

"Nothing, Maa, Ranveer answered, moving away from her, lest she should realize the tumult going on within him. "I was just thinking... how to do what Mota Babuji's asked me to do.

"And what is that?

He hesitated before saying the words. "Mota Babuji wants me to make Ishani fall in love with Chirag and... he paused, "...that's what I-I'm trying to do. He barely sounded convincing, Ranveer knew, but this was the truth. There was no place for his feelings anymore. It was all about Ishani.

"Is that it? his mother asked, her voice softer than before.

"Yes, Maa. Ranveer smiled. "Anyway, what are you doing here?

A look of disappointment crossed through his mother's face. "Baa convinced your Baba to work me here, for them. Your Mota Babuji wanted her to apologize to us for what she did in her misunderstanding. But it's alright... she hastened to reply, "She has given us 1 Lakh rupees and we'll work hard and return them their money back and go away from here.

"But, Maa, you didn't want to work here, Ranveer said.

"I know but if my working for this family gets us rid from this house, I will do it. In the next few months we will find us a new home.

Ranveer remained quiet and suddenly his father and Mota Babuji came out of Baa's room. "Amba, I hope you will not have problems from now on and I'll make sure myself that nothing ever goes wrong with Ranveer, his Mota Babuji said.

His father smiled but his mother's stoic features did not change. Ranveer didn't know what conversation took place in Baa's room and why she gave them a hefty amount like this (hefty for Ranveer and his parents, not for Baa). What awaited them at the end of this all he didn't know either but he hoped for the best. Baa's kindness never gave sweet fruits and no one knew this better than Ranveer.

"Amba, I understand what you're thinking, his Mota Babuji spoke once again. "But ever since Ranveer started working in this house, he became my responsibility and I will take care of him with all that I have. You must trust me on this. Kailash, you do trust me, right? He turned towards Ranveer's father to seek approval.

"He's all yours, Mota Bhai, Ranveer's father replied.

The man gave Ranveer a warm smile and patted on his shoulder. "You are the reason Harshad Parekh's name exists in the market, Ranveer, he said. "Anyway, Kailash, we're getting late. Ranveer, you also get there quickly. There's an important meeting and you must be there and yes, show your mother the house too. She's come after many years.

"I will, Mota Babuji. He smiled as both the men left for the office. Ranveer turned towards his Maa and took her hand.

"Come, Maa, I'll show you the entire house. Everything's changed here since you came.

"You're speaking as if this is your house, his mother said, surprised at his excitement.

"Don't worry, Maa. The house is mine, except my name's not written on it.

His mother made no reply and they both began their journey, measuring each passage of the mansion as they passed by the rooms. The helpers gave them smiles as they moved further. One thing Ranveer couldn't deny was the happiness that radiated from the house, the laughter of the family members an integral part of it, echoing genially in the large space. And when they came by Ishani's room Ranveer halted in his tracks. Chirag, Sharman, Devarsh and Pratiek all laughed and Ranveer wondered where Ishani was. He was barely out of his thoughts when Ishani got out of the room, her expressions as if she had kept her feet on a burning coal. Ranveer smiled involuntarily at her sight.

"Kaki! she exclaimed the moment her eyes fell on Ranveer and his mother. She moved ahead to hug her and smiled. "I'm glad you're here.

"Me, too, Ishani. Me, too, his mother said, sighing. Ranveer noticed Ishani had tears in her eyes and before he could say anything she separated and wiped the droplets away.

"Ishani, you're alright? his mother asked.

Ishani nodded. "Yes, I am, she said, smiling. "It's just this idiot will have someone to look after him now that you're here. She pointed towards Ranveer. "Kaki, now you're here please make sure he doesn't get out of control. Papa and Baba shower too much of unnecessary love on him.

"Unnecessary love? Ranveer asked, getting defensive. "Or you're just jealous that Mota Babuji and Baba love me more than they love you?

"See, Kaki? This is what he always does! Ishani said, scowling at Ranveer. "I worry about him so much and all he does is laugh it off. She blew the hair falling on the right side of her cheeks.

"Drama queen. Ranveer shook his head.

"Kaki, you better get him married or--

"I loved your coffee, Chirag's voice cut off her rants and Ishani turned towards him, uninterested. "Again, he emphasized and winked at her. It was clear from Ishani's expressions that she hadn't expected this from Chirag the second time round, and she may have made worse coffee than the previous time.

"I can't believe you liked all that. You have such a terrible taste, Ishani said.

"Or, as they say, you begin to like everything belonging to the person you like. Perhaps that's why I love everything about you-- Chirag whispered. "I mean about your coffee, he added. "It was tasty. I'd like to try it once again.

"Let's drop him outside, guys, Devarsh said, emerging out of Ishani's room, and Sharman and Pratiek nodded their heads.

"I'll see you soon, Ishani. Chirag smiled and Ishani turned away, not paying attention to him. "Bye, Ranveer, and thanks, Chirag added, shaking hands with him.

"No worries, Ranveer said with a smile, ignoring the look of confusion on Ishani's face who had turned towards him at Chirag's voice addressing Ranveer.

Chirag left and Ishani looked at Ranveer. "What did he thank you for? Ishani asked.

"Is it necessary for you to be so inquisitive about every matter of mine?

"See, Kaki? Ishani looked at his mother. "He never tells me anything and God knows how many things he keeps hidden from me that I should know.

"It's better you don't know half of the things you want to know about, Ranveer said. "Because... he added further as Ishani opened her mouth to retort, "...you end up creating more problems than solving them.

"Huh?

"Hhhaaawww!

"Ranveer, stop teasing her, his mother said, smiling for the first time since morning. And they continued to smile, Baa's voice splintered through, brining their laughter to an end. She was calling for Ranveer's mother.

"I should go, she said.

Ranveer nodded his head.

"Welcome back, Kaki, Ishani said. "I'm really glad you're here and now everything will be alright. She smiled.