Yen - One Shot [ ShivIka ]

Yen

Tu Hai To Mera Vajood Hai, Tu Hai To Meri Talash Hai...

Tu Hai To Shaame Khushnuma, Tu Hai To Lab Ki Pyas Hai...

Back. She was back, again.

Why didn't you come back earlier? Was what, he was willing to ask but he couldn't afford that and ended up with, what are you doing here?

Even if he managed well to sham that she, now, but no one to him but he could never withstand her presence. He could never resist his feelings, whenever he felt her aura around him. Despite of the fact that his eyes could not catch her sight, the change of air always alerted his heart whenever she was closer.

Pale with grief, he was bowed down beneath the burden of the woes... the woes giftedby her.

*

That night, when he stepped in her chawl, he saw her, for the first time after three months. He should wonder the most, why exactly he was there in the first place. If things to be remember, he hated even her name then why would he decide to be there where she entirely was. But then, it wasn't his fault either. He hadn't come there on his own, rather was forced by some insane part in his body, many referred... heart as.

Stealing a glance of her, after the time span of three months there, was surely a windfall, though he would never admit that. He had stilled when his gaze refused to look away from her face. Her eyes were fixed, up, towards the sky. She hadn't spared a look to anything except it and that flashed him a memory from the past lanes.

"What... what exactly is up there? You are telling me straightaway today. No complicated words and nothing. It's the third time; I have caught you like this. Is anything wrong with you?"

She faintly smiled when her husband showered her with a bunch of questions. Clearly, he was concerned. "My guardians are up there, Shivaay .Whenever I feel that I am losing, I look at them and silently have a conversation with them about what is going wrong. They may not reply me back directly but they do listen. I share my worries, sorrows and grief with them and I... feel light but I don't do this every time because I know, even they are busy," she giggled, "only when things are too bad for me to handle." A lone tear escaped her eye and her voice sounded heavy.

He slipped besides her, wounding his arm around her shoulder and let her head rest on his shoulder, shifting closer. "You used to this in orphanage, right?" She merely whispered yes, closing her eyes. "But now, you don't have to. You now... have me for sharing everything, alright? You don't have to talk with them who cannot reply you directly but with me, who can and will solve your every problem before it hurts you."

"I know, Shivaay."

"What is disturbing you?"

"Ah, Shivaay... this Kamini drama has raised my anxiety level; bringing back the ache I was shielding myself from by caging it somewhere. She freed it. When my parents left me to deal with this world alone, I accepted it because I did not have another option, Shivaay. Oh and trust me, I do not hate them either because I don't know why they did what they did... they are even alive or not. So why should I hold any grudge against them? But now, that this thing has come up, she has faked being my mother... it... it just kinda freshened the pain, I had gone through and... It hurts Shivaay. These days have been mentally challenging for me, too much to bear actually. Many do not even remember the incidents of that tender age but I do. I do, Shivaay because the incidents are too horrible to be forgotten... the struggles are too hard to be flushed off... the pain is still too raw to let go."

"Anika," he lifted his hand to cup her cheek and wiped off the veneer of tears on them. "Shh... it ended. Don't remember that." What she had gone though was unimaginative for him. He could never understand what she had faced but he was trying and that mattered. He could not bring her childhood back to her but that night, he promised himself again, that he would keep her unharmed, away from every hurt. She would never see the time again, she had seen once. She would never long for the affection, love and care again. She would never. He dropped her, a forehead kiss, still holding her.

He obviously wasn't unaware, how much the recent incident had affected her but to that extent... he hadn't imagined. He had been seeing her from past two nights... sitting and staring at the sky. Her eyes were haunting that used to be laid above but that day, he had seen them vacuous and that was scary. Anger, care, love, wrath, disappointment was normal in her eyes but he could never bear having them empty, devoid of any emotion and they were exactly the same, now. That night, his hold around her was tightened yet gentle, a gesture to assure her, to promise her that no matter what, he would always be there for her, right beside her, to protect her, to hear out her worries, to do everything to get her out of them, to adore her in a way she deserved to get adored, to shower her with the love and care she had been deprived of.

He was snapped out of the beautiful flashback with the hit on his car.

"Give us the money you have."

Oh some roadside Gunde-Mawali! He shifted his gaze from them to her only to find the place empty that initially had her. Only he knows what he was thinking before he pulled out his wallet, unclasped his watch and kept on the bonnet of the car. "You want this?"

Of course we do. This man seems crazy. Is this even a question to ask?

"Hit me then."

Oh now it is confirmed. He is indeed crazy. Firstly he is so easily gave in and now, he wants us to hit him. Either he is a psycho or a heartbroken. Only those can talk this way.

*

"Shivaay." She gasped, her heart clenched in horror and unknown fears as her mangulsutra slipped off her neck. Firmly gripping it, she brought it closer to her heart. Eyes filling with tears, she kissed it, silently praying everything to be fine with him.

A punch on his cheek and she felt herself engulfing with the darkness. He is fine. Of course, he has to be. What will happen to him? She was reminding herself but what she was feeling was certainly too strong to be ignored. Breathe Anika, just breathe.

A knee kick, in his stomach and she stepped out of her room, unable to handle the raising fear. I'll just get some fresh air. I need it badly. Descending down, she pushed the strands of her hairs that came over her face, blocking her view as the cold breeze increased its speed and she had barely taken a step or two when she was froze in her track.

Shivaay!

What is he doing here? She was yet to acknowledge the presence of other people and notice his injuries and that was when one of those men hit him on his forehead and she screamed his name. He hadn't even looked at her yet he smiled... a smile, mixed with bitter sweet emotions rather realizations.

"Leave him." She quickly lowered her pitch, pretending to walking up to them when in reality, she was rushing. Those men looked at each other first, then at him and then at her.

Oh so he belonged to the heartbroken' category.

Without feeling need to converse with her, they picked up his wallet and watch and started to leave when she tried going behind them. She being Anika, how could she let them go with his money when she felt her wrist gripped... An easy pull and she was over him, again just like how she used to be.

Long. It had been long to be that closer to him. It had been long to be in his arms. It had been long to stare in those eyes. Long. It had been real long.

So... the connection hadn't broken yet. She still felt whenever he was in any danger. Her heart still tells her? Her heart was still his? She was still his?

Composing her, repeating in mind over and over that she could not afford letting her mask fall in front of him, she stepped back, maintaining a safe distance from him. If she had been there like that for even more a minute, she would have thrown away everything and just embraced him, confessing how much she loved him and what it was to see her in that state.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her gaze still scanning his body for the wounds that was pricking her heart. Oh how much she wished, she could just scold him for getting beaten. Of course, she knew that he purposefully did it, didn't she? All she wanted was to dress his wounds but she could not do it, could she?

He had stared at her for don't know how long, refraining himself from coming with a single word before turned his back and left. He left. He left? She took some moments to let that sink in her system. His hurt self came before her eyes and she frantically searched for her phone.

"Hello... Rudra, he is hurt. Please take care of him. Take him to the doctor."

*

A night... he had come back spending a night in the jail. Probably no one understood the reason why he locked himself willingly there and no one ever would. Was he himself even clear about the reason? May be he was. Okay... just may be.

He wanted some time with himself to sort out the messed up things in his life and in Oberoi Mansion; he couldn't have done that, could he? Certainly not. But then why jail? May be because, it again associated him with past.

"This is not your home. This is my home."

The soon, he heard her saying that, he calmly replied. "Your illusion is good." At that point of time, he watched her face paling and he knew why. He wasn't reacting the predicted way. He was not the same. When she withdrawn herself from his life, she unknowingly took along a part of him, that had made him.

Bravo!

He must complement when he found her bracing herself again, showing him papers, attitude and many other things but nothing worked again. He quietly left from the hall, glancing at everyone.

*

"Now that you have graced this home with your presence... I won't let you leave, again." He pulled up the picture in his palm, keeping it in touch with his skin, his heart lied under. "Anika." He whispered momentarily closing his eyes.

He had a promise to keep and he would do it, at any expense.

A promise, he had made her and more to himself that night.

A promise to keep her unharmed,

A promise to keep her happy,

A promise to never leave her side,

A promise to be the ear to listen her worries so that she feels no need to share them with her guardians in the sky,

A promise to get her out of those problems,

A promise to love her the way she deserved to get loved.

She hadn't betrayed his trust and he had taken a long to actually realize it. Rather he had failed to keep his trust. She had a reason behind everything she pulled on, that day. She had. Now, he was assured of that. She loved him. She always did and to what extent, he had seen with naked eyes. She had risked her life just to save his. For once, he agreed that she wanted money but then, she didn't try to justify once when he was sending her... scratch that... throwing her out of his life. She was fighting blabbering her husband is earning and everyone is taking benefits and something of that sort... and she didn't say a word to him when he bring up the point of divorcing her. How could he be that blind to not see it earlier? It was planned. Everything was bloody damn planned. She didn't say anything; let him make her out of his life because that was what she wanted him to do. Why? He was yet to get to the answer of that but he would... soon. His recent encounter with her at her chawl, cleared the dust on his thoughts. Her lost figure, staring at the sky, holding the window bars hadn't yet faded from his mind. She was talking to her guardians and that meant...

I do this only when things are too bad for me to handle.

So things were too bad for her. Her presence when he was getting harmed again, made things brighter to him. She still got to know if he was in danger because the strings of their hearts were still connected. Like earlier times, her eyes spoke volumes and they did, again. It had been just merely a few moments, she had looked in his eyes when he had pulled her there, in her chawl and soon masked the person she wasn't but he had understood it. He had. Those eyes still reflected concern and love for him.

If only anger hadn't overpowered him that day, and he had tried to find out truth from her eyes, he would never have let her go but not anymore.

He still doesn't know the entire reality but he does know that she was lying back then. She loved him infinitely and he could, now see that clearly in her eyes and that was what mattered to him. He would find out the rest. He would find out what she was sharing with her guardians and he would get her out of it. He would make her admit that she loves him. He would make her, his Anika again who was now hiding behind the mask of someone else. He would.

She was his life. She was his existence. She brought out every emotion within him, right from anger to care, from annoyance to affection, from love to hatred. She made him, him. And when she vanished from his life, his life wasn't a life. It may be, for others but not for him. He was all fine to the world because he chose to present his that self to the rest but no one except him knew the vulnerable condition of his heart. She was the one, his life was colourful because of... colourful with every emotion, every feeling.

She was his pain and she was his medicine.

She was his fall and she was his rise.

She was his love and she was his life.

She was his yen. She was his urge. She was his longing.

***

Note: 1. Dargah meeting didn't happen here.

2. The lyrics of songs used in the start are from 'Jiya Re' from 'Dehleez' [ A very beautiful song. Try if haven't heard]

I am not sure how much sense this will make to you. Hit the like button if you have reached till here and aren't willing to hit me for this read.

Shot dedication - Lassi 😉 [aka Anni😆 aka Annika🤣❤️]

Reason - Because I want to. 😎 No but on a serious note, because you are one wonderful friend and I love you🤗

PS: We keep dedicating things to each other, no?

Much love

- Harshada