FF: Pyar Ki Manzil Epilogue (Pg 91) 10/08

*Guli* thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#1
This FF is going to be written how everyone writes their FFs not in my usual style…

Not in my few words per lines… like in pages!!!!

The reason is because of Taz.. she put a "tujhe meri kasam" so I have too!!

And Navs.. she wants colors!!!

And Jaz… because she wants an epilogue

😳Pyaar Ki Manzil😳

Part 1

Starts off in a big mansion…. All the servants are cleaning around, they are cleaning the tables and the making sure the flowers look fresh and what not. the WM was huge.. but because of the size there was only one person who lived there.. the owner Jai Walia… biggest business he was a very well known…..

How can you not know him… he was all over the newspaper and magazines and was very popular amogst the females. ☺️😍 He had come home from a long day at work… the servants were there.. they took his bag and he gave them his coat.. and he made his way up….

His phone had rung and he had picked it up.. he walked inside his study room.. the place where everyone knew that if he was in there don't come in unless you are called for.

He had come to his desk and he sat on his large chair and he just leaned back and was very comfortable!!!!

Jai: Yes Masi!!! 😊 I will be leaving the day after tomorrow……. I will be there most likely on Sunday! The bus will be leaving at 1 pm and will arrive the next day in the afternoon!!!

Masi: Did you bring everything I asked you to? 🤔

Jai: Yes I have, and I will be bringing it. I know how much this wedding means to you!
😊

Masi: When will you bring me good news?? 🤔

Jai: Masi you know I don't have time for any of this stuff and besides it bothers me how all these women don't want to marry me for me.. they want to marry me for my money!!

Masi: well don't you worry I am sure there is a person out there that will not!!

Jai: I told you why didn't have her get married here??? I mean whatever you want we can arrange it

Masi: Yes but it was her choice!

Jai: Okay fine but I just hope this bus ride I sit alone because I don't want some weird girl sitting next to me and tries to flirt with me! I hate those! 😡

Masi was just laughing! 😆 They were talking a little longer and then they had both hung up the phone! Jai had packed for the wedding! It was after a long time where he was going to see Masi but he had always dreaded it. It was that bus ride that he hated. 😡 It was a 17 hour bus ride and also crazy people travel on buses! He just prayed he can go in peace! 👍🏼

He had left WM and he had come to the bus stop… The bus which he was suppose to get. He had his glasses on😎 and he wasn't looking forward to this! This bus was going to be all stuffy and what not… The bus was coming from a different location and it had made a stop. Jai had come on the bus and he was looking around for an empty seat. 🤔

There were young gals on the bus, there were couples on the bus there was women with their kids and their little toddlers and their were old couples… everyone was with someone… and even if there wasn't.. they were sitting next to someone…. Wen he had looked around… there was nothing left….🤔But there wasn't any except for the one in the all the way the back of the bus.

There was only one left and that to next to a woman. She was sitting by the window with a shawl over her and she had nice long black hair and she had fair skin…he had put his glasses on top of his head…☺️ Everyone was looking at him as he stepped on. ☺️ They had recognized him because of course he's always all over the newspaper and magazines. 😲

He had made his way in the back of the bus but not by getting looks by the people on the bus. They were whispering things and he just heard it. He could care less because he knew something like this would happen

He had come all the way in the back…. There was a chair on that empty seat.. he didn't know whether he should move it or what because she wasn't doing anything…..😕 he had put his small bag in the compartment on top and he looked at the woman…. She had moved the bag and put it in her lap! 😕

Jai: Thank you! 🤔

He had sat down and the woman next to him… she had moved closer to the window and trying not to touch him. 😕

She was getting freaked out and thinking whether he was going to do or say anything. 😕 😭

When he sat down he was like oh great! A young woman and now she will surely do something. But to his surprise, she didn't do or say anything. 😕 She was actually scared and she was shaking. 😕 She just closed her eyes and hoped that he wouldn't hurt her. She had put her bag by her leg but her bag had turned over and everything had come out. Jai had seen this and he helped her, her ID and everything had fallen out and he had gotten it and he had read her name on her ID: Bani Dixit. 😕

He had given everything to her and she put it in her bag and placed her bag on the floor. He didn't even get a thank you from her. At least she could say something but he got nothing. 😕

It had been 30 mins and she hadn't said anything. Jai was looking out the window and he was thinking she doesn't seem that bad to start a convo with!

Jai: Hello!!! 😃

Bani had looked at him and she didn't say anything. Not a smile not a word😕

Jai: I am Jai Walia! 😕 Well of course you probably know me as I am all over the place. This is going to be one long of a bus ride huh??? 😕

She didn't say anything! Jai was looking at her and he was beginning to think whether she even talks or not. 🤔 She had fixed her shawl that was around her and she was a very closed person.

Jai hadn't said anything afterwards but he had noticed Bani and the rest of the females that were on the bus. The girls in the front kept on turning around and looking at him as he was sitting in the aisle seat so he was easily spotted. They would look at him and they would giggle. ☺️😍Jai was thinking this people have nothing else better to do.

He was thinking she had the perfect chance to flirt with him and talk to him but she definitely wasn't doing anything. She was different. But at least she could talk! He doesn't bite. He just let her be the way he was and he decided to just go to sleep. 🥱

Jai didn't realized that he had slept for 2 hours. He had woke up and when he looked over at Bani. And she was still looking out the window with a sad face. 😔 The bus was going at its normal pace. Jai wanted to get out of it already it had been only 4 hours but for him it felt like 4 days.

He tried to talk to Bani but he got nothing back from her.

Jai: Do you not like to talk? 🤔

Bani had looked over to him

Jai: I mean you are missing the chance to talk to me usually it is me who hates to talk but you haven't said one word since I have got on. 🤔

She was fixing her shawl and trying to be away from him as much as possible.

Jai just gave up and he didn't want to bother with her anymore. He took out his cell phone and was making a phone and he was talking with a low voice.

When Bani was looking out the window.. There was a car that was coming and it had come right next to he bus, when she was looking, she was shocked. 😲She was shaking and she was panicking. The person in the car was looking on the bus and before she was spotted she had turned to Jai and she hid her face in his chest.

Jai who was still on the phone he had said I have to go and he had cut the call. 😲 He was stunned she was hiding her face in his chest but why? He couldn't figure it out why? 🤔

She had slowly looked out the window and the car had gone she was looking over carefully and found the car gone and she went back on her side. Jai was looking at her and he couldn't understand her. 🤔

Her shawl was a little messed up and she went to fix it as she was wrapped but then wen she went to cover her arms Jai had quickly glanced and he saw marks on her marks, fresh burn marks and he was shocked. 😵And not just one arm.. both! 😲 😲

Bani was covering her arm but then he had stopped her from doing so and she was scared and she was trembling and her eyes became all watery and she was thinking was he going to do something??? 😭😭

Jai: what happened to your arms??? 😲

She had pulled the shawl from him and made him let go covered both of her arms and just looked out the window while he was still looking at her. Jai was sensing there was something going on and it was pretty fishy. Could this woman be in trouble? 😕 😕 😕

He had slowly started to figure out on why she was acting like that! Something was bothering her and something happened to her but he didn't know what! But the other thing was that she was in trouble. It was late in the evening, the bus had to make a stop and they all had to spend the night on one of the stalls. They had all come out of the bus and they had to!

Jai and Bani were the last ones off and once he had come off she had gone passed him. The driver had told him if he had tried to talk to her.

Jai: yes I have! But she doesn't say anything! 😕

Driver: she wont say anything!! don't even bother talking to her becuz she wont say anything. She has been on this bus for 3 days and not one word came out from her.

Jai: 3 days? 😲 😲 😲

Driver: Yes! She just paid me to take her wherever.. wherever this bus goes she goes but she doesn't get off. she just looks out the window and has this sad look on his face.

Jai was thinking about this🤔🤔

He had gone by everyone else. They were all sitting by a bon-fire and they were eating. Everyone was sitting if they had come with someone or if they were alone they were talking with their bus buddy. He was looking around for Bani but she wasn't seen.

Someone gave him a plate of food and said here you go. He had asked for Bani's plate as well and he got it as well.

She had come out, she had gone to the bathroom and she had seen the bon fire she was stunned and she was frozen on the spot. Jai had seen her and then his face changed from a relief to a curiosity on why she was like that!

He had come to her and asked her that here is her food and she should have it. She was looking at him. he said to come and sit by the fire so that way she doesn't feel too cold, but that was the last place she wanted to be.

When she had looked to her right…. She saw a guy sitting on top of his car and was lying on his dashboard and she was shocked!!!! She dropped her plate of food and Jai looked at her. Bani was in a tight spot.. on one side there was the bon-fire and then there he was

Jai: Are you okay?? 😕

Bani became stiff and wasn't moving she wanted to get out from there. 😭 She had ran back onto the bus and she sat in the corner in her seat and she was crying. Jai had taken his food with him on the bus and he climbed on and looked at her.

He had come to her and she had her feet up and she was in a ball and he was looking at her. He didn't know what to do or how to approach her until he put the food on the other seat and sat next to her and he put his arms around her. 😳

The End!!!!

Please do comment.. i tried it!! I did!!! and this was written all by me!!!!! And the next update.. wont be til sunday!!!! If i have to write like you guys i have to update like you guys too.... I spoil you guys way too much!! by updating twice a day......

For this FF.... its going to be.. your guys style and updates!!!!

And i dont know how many parts i will have it will go according to comments!!!

Next Update is Sunday!!!!😉😉

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Frequent Posters

Shreerama thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#2
I liked it a lot, I read one or two of your other fictions as well. I think they were unique and very popular with our readers.

This one starts with aplomb and written very well. I liked the description of the scared woman and her terror - was she being abused by some one? I guess that's a dumb question, she surely was.

Please continue! I am sorry I might not be able to comment much, but I will be reading.
jnawaz thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 17 years ago
#3
me 2nd 😃

haila...jaani...gotta love taz for the kasam...gotta love navu for the colors...and gotta love me for the future epilogue 😆😆😆...jaab tere paas hum jaise dost hai, phir dushman ki kya zarurat...😉😉😉

haila...j and b sitting on the bus together...and what is this burn marks, and her hiding from some dude...oh oh...daal mein kuch kaal hai...im paaka sure of that...😕😕😕...but then jai is all concerned for her and watching out for her and comforting her...haye 😍...aww...just...awww...

even thought you wrote like a normal ff writer...😉...we can still see the hints of our guli jaanu in the writing...😃😃😃...vaise...i was going to protest about the next update being on sunday...😡😡...but then i realized...that is my fault...you will be at my house tomorrow evening, pizza and practice babe...then on saturday...you are all mine for the party......cant wait babe...

great job hun...i knew you could do it...
JAZ
Edited by jnawaz - 17 years ago
Nimmie1`2 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#4
Interesting start, do continue. I am lookin forward to read more. Nimmie
MusicIsDivine! thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#5

Hi Guli,
I haven't read the FF yet - I am going to soon. But I was so touched with your efforts 😳 to please your friends who imposed certain rules for your FF. I actually was quite taken by your short yet meaningful updates. 👏 Somehow you put forth the essence of what you want to convey very effectively in your 'script' line FFs. 👏
Hmm... so this is your newly adopted 'structured' writing... I am sure I am going to enjoy this too. 😊

OK, here goes..

This very colorful beginning of the story got me sitting upright, right from the start and as it progressed from blue thru green, my interest perked up and by the time I reached the brown part I was not sure if your FF is a perfect suspense thriller or a lovely romance. Whatever it will turn out to be, I am very impressed with the full blown, colorful update (thanks to all your wonderful advisors) 👏and am so looking forward to the next one.

Edited by MusicIsDivine! - 17 years ago
ejazanita thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#6

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! guli,

this is such a great part n way to write👏

i really liked the way you wrote this FF in lonf n full sentences😆

this is really gd plzzzzzz keep it up by this way

omg!!!!!!!!!!! wat burn marks on Bani😭😭 so somethin happened to her😭😭

who is that guy????????????😡

hummm Jai is more curious to knw why she wasnt speakin to her......................?

omg!!!!!!!! he hugged her😳

plszzzzzzzzzz continue soon

bye n tc

culgal86 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#7
hey guli..................

lovely part n also love the style but dont like the gaps betweeen the update ........

try to reduce them...............

update soon
jeevikagurl88 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#8
Wow what a start
A story that is totally different
What is this mystery with Bani?
Please continue soon
BeingChevi thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 17 years ago
#9
Guli dear!!! Phew!! Im finally here after my 5-day break. U started another one??? I just read it!!! It was superb!!!! I luved it. plz cont. soon with ur story!!
Thanks,
Chevarra
Taz234 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 17 years ago
#10
Guli Jaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 🤗 U started ur new ff!!!! The longggggggggg one! 😉😉 😃 I'm so happy. 😃 😃 Thanx to navs we are gonna see rangeen updates 😆 and we will get an epilogue thanx to Champa! 🤗

Great start 👏 👏 …I was glued to my screen. I knew u could write well in this style…👏 👏 I really am impressed...u should write like this from time to time. 😉 😉

Jai has to travel by bus to see his Masi…17 hours…😕 Gosh I hate long bus rides too.

He had to sit next to Bani on the bus😳…who is rather a mysterious character.😕 Seems she has been subject to some kind of abuse or something…burn marks. 😲 She is terrified of someone too.

She spent 3 days on that bus…what is she doing? Poor Girl. 😭 Jai knows something is not right and is trying to make her feel comfortable.

That scene at the end was so sweet…Jai reached out and gave the poor girl a hug. 🤗 I hope she opens up to him and tells him her story….waise mujhe bhi jaana hai ke kya problem hai. 😉

Great starts darl! Keep it up! 👏 👏 👏
Tazoo

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