DevAkshi OS : A Step Closer

This was not the first time they had fought. It was not the first time Sonakshi had denied being affected by his presence either.

Still her words kept ringing in his ears.

"Mujhe koi fark nahi padta Dev. Agar tumhe lagta hai ke you should move on with someone else, I will be the happiest for you. I really am only concerned about your bond with Soha, nothing else."

..She had said very calmly. After they fought their hearts out that night, when a distressed Dev came to her to tell how Ishwari was on a mission to get him married, Sonakshi indifference had agitated him. They spoke bitter that day but eventually Sonakshi ended that fight on a calm note..by trying to assure him that she was always by his side but not as a companion but as a friend, even if he gets married to someone else.

Rather than soothing Dev's heart, it broke it into a million new pieces, not that it was very much intact before this incidence. He had expected to see a reaction on Sonakshi's face, he had thought maybe she would be terrified of losing him just as he is scared to the thought of losing her to Jatin.

So what if they have decided to be in this 'friends-for-life-nothing-more' type of relationship , they still knew they had special place in each other's lives...A place no one else could replace, in the past, present or the future. And Sonakshi being so open towards the idea of this replacement was hurting him.

He didn't realise when he headed to his room, paced frantically in the room for hours and the first thing in morning, he headed to Ishwari's room to agree for the marriage.

Ishwari did not know how to react, to be happy or be sad, for Dev had refused this proposal in plain and stern words only yesterday and she had seen Dev and Sonakshi have an argument at night..She knew it was retaliation of that argument, his reflex to run away from this pull towards Sonakshi that pushed him towards his 'yes'. She dreaded Sona's importance in his life and yet another step taken by her to dissuade this ended up reinforcing that Dev's actions were driven only by her presence or absence.

Dev gave his slight smile, which even a distant acquaintance could tell, was full of pain. With this superficial contentment he exited the room.

The day went by pretty soon and when Sonakshi and Dev were discussing something about Soha's school with their usual banter, where Dev was stealing glances to look at her face, wondering if he has chosen his path for self-destruction, wondering how Sona could be so blissfully unaware of everything till now, his eyes moistened. .Just then a dramatic Radharani entered with a box of sweets in her hands and forced a full laddoo inside Sonakshi's mouth before she could process her entry.

"Arre beta, eats na. Aaj to mai bohot hi zyada Happy hu. Phinally mere Dev ne jiji ki respect rakh li, apni life me move forward kar raha hai"

And passed her usually sarcastic grin, her tone dripping with bitter sweetness.

Sonakshi and Dev both were shocked but he knew what GKB was talking about. Sonakshi, in her usual cold demeanor asked,

"Aunty ji kya baat hai, badi khush lag rahi hai aap. Aisa kya kar rahe hai Dev?"

"Arre, mai forget kaise kar gyi! Tum to outsiders ho na, tumhe kaise know hoga? Humare Dev ne marriage ke liye haan keh dia hai."

Saying this, she took a pause as if to enjoy the shock and palor on Sonakshi's face.

Sonakshi could in no way register this news at once, looked at Dev whose face confirmed with a smirk what Mami said. As she could not let her emotions slip from her face, she excused herself from the room.

Walking slowly first..She ran as soon as she exited the door...Towards her room.

She sat down on the floor, by the bed and when the tears started wetting her hands, did she notice that they were coming down as a stream from her eyes.

She was successful in coping with his marriage talks, was okay with his flirting with other girls too, even claimed that she was supporting him if he wishes to remarry..Then what happened now that made it all so uncontrollable?

Her sobs were not stopping now. Maybe it was the confidence in him, that he would never ever say yes to something like this..Maybe it was the faith that Dev would not be able to move on like this..That he would never have been unfaithful to her in his past..This helped her utter all those shallow words to him, that helped her maintain that supportive-friend image.

Dev suddenly agreeing to this smashed all her ideas about her feelings for him.

She could, even after 8 long years, not see him going away. How on earth is she supposed to see him marry someone else??! She felt it was better for her to die before seeing this happen.

How could Dev do this? But, wasn't she the one who encouraged him for this? Now that he is doing what he should have, why is she feeling as if he threw daggers at her heart?

Why did it pain so much?

She kept crying and crying until her tears dried up, for there was nothing else she could do. How could she go to him and ask him to not move-on when she was the one who had been refusing to give this relationship another chance? She could not stop him now. She had no rights to.

Just then, she heard a knock on the door. She dragged herself to the door as if no life remained in it. There he was, standing with a deceptive smile.

He was shocked to see her eyes swollen up and her face so pale.

"What happened Sonakshi?"

He questioned as if clueless for the reason.

"Tumse matlab? Kya kaam hai bolo"

She replied in a low voice,avoiding eye contact with him, regaining her composure.

Dev was so fed up with her replies now. When her eyes so evidently spoke of how much pain she was in, why was she even trying to hide it?

He entered inside and gently closed the door.

"Matlab hai na Sonakshi. After all you are Soha's mother. I ought to know what is troubling my daughter's mother"

Emphasising on the last few words, he said.

"Waise ab toh khush ho na tum?"

His eyes directly met hers while asking this, as if still looking for his answers. To absorb the pain her eyes reflected. His eyes reflected no less.

"Ha. .Aa.n. Congratulations" She stammered still avoiding eye contact.

He lifted up her chin and said

"Look at my eyes and say that Miss Bose."

She still kept looking away as only a few minutes back she was crying uncontrollably and she knew the tears would start rolling down any minute now if she looked at him.

"LOOK AT ME, Sonakshi!"

He raised his voice.

She looked up and as expected, those teardrops ditched her and started rolling down.

Dev was taken aback by it. The tenderness on her face hurt him because he knew what the reason was..

She pushed him away and moved to one side, wiping her tears

"Bohot bure ho tum Dev, bohot bure"

"Achha mai bura hu? Kya kia maine Sonakshi? Jaisa tum chah rahi ho, mai bilkul waisa kar raha hu"

He turned her back towards him with a slight jerk, still maintaining a fair amount of distance between them.

"Chahti kya ho tum? Tumne kaha maintain distance, humne wo kia, Tum kehti ho tumhe fark nahi padta agar mai dobara shadi kar lu, to ab kyu fark pad raha hai tumhe?"

"Dev, tum bohot bure ho because you know mujhe fark padta hai, Damn it! Sab pata hai tumhe"

She almost clenched her teeth and hit him on his chest with closed fists.

He held her hand right there with his strong yet softened grip. She continued

"Let me go Dev. You know I cannot stay with you out of my sight for one minute. You know I have been miserable 7 years without you. You know I can go to any extent to see you smile. That seeing you unhappy breaks my heart too. That I cannot see you with anyone else. That I love you Dev!"

Her voice which was quite raised when she started was only audible till she reached the last sentence.

"I love you Dev! Still you are doing this to me. Bohot bure ho tum"

She repeated as she cried.

Those words sounded like music to his ears. Like cold water for someone who has been dying with thirst.

On one hand, he could not believe she was saying that..On other, he knew she loved him.

Her tears were giving him joy for the first time and his eyes decided to accompany hers by dropping tears too. Not as big as hers but visible enough near the corners of his eyes.

He wiped her face with his hands and said,

" Haan mai bura hu Sonakshi, par tum koi kam nahi ho. Kitni achi acting kar leti ho na tum, zara bhi nahi sochti k mujhe kaisa lagta hoga jab tum baar baar wahi baat kehti ho ke tumhe fark nahi padta. You know I love you!

Koi shadi waadi nahi kar raha mai. "

"Tumi ekta boka Mr Dixit! What do you mean shaadi nahi kar raha?"

"Tumi ekta boka too Miss Bose! Tumhe kya lagta hai mai aise hitler ex-wife ke rehte kisi aur se shadi kar sakta hu?"

He smiled playfully caressing her hands, still in his.

"Don't even dare to, Mr Dixit! Warna mujhse bura koi nahi hoga"

She moved two steps forward and hugged him. .For what seemed like eternity to them.

His embrace grew tighter around her and she hugged him back as if she would never let him go.

There maybe a hundred problems left unsorted but they realised it was only together, they could survive those.

They were meant to be together. Forever. And now they were a step closer to Happiness.