A letter to Ishwari by Sudha Murthy, Chairperson of INFOSYS FOUNDATION - Page 5

Originally posted by: grace4317

Pramila...first of all, I am the one who knows how my hubby & MIL was and I am the one who had the first hand experience with them...I have already shared many of my experiences in many posts; so I don't want to repeat it again. Secondly, I don't feel that the Dixit family is to be considered as untouchables or it is a disgrace to compare my family with them. Because, I can see and understand them as human beings who are flawed and I believe in the inner strengths God has given me; not on what I presume is my strength.

Originally posted by: grace4317

Tia...thank you for that long reply, though it was sarcasm at its best...But, to be honest, I am not at all an Ishwari hater. Rather, if I keep aside her manipulative acts & thoughts, I can totally relate with her. Because, though not in such a gravity as we feel for Sona, I also had similar experiences with the haq jataofying, taunting/parents insulting part & insecurities part with my MIL. But, by Gods' grace and with the strength, wisdom & patience God gave me, I could change that into a relation where my hubby is now proud of. I can't express in words how I feel when he proudly tells his friends, how I take care of his mom and how she prefers to stay with me whenever possible. I agree, my hubby & MIL didn't have such an obsessive relation as Dev-Ishwari; but still the initial years were very difficult. But now that I am reaping the benefits of that little patience & understanding I showed those days, I don't have any complaints or bitterness of those days. Infact, I see those days as the time God helped me to understand how strong a woman can be and how with His help, can support your loved ones to change...Aakhir, ye duniya mein mamma's boys ko bhi mazze se jeena kya hai, patha hona chaahiye, na...So, there should be someone who can patiently support them in bringing that change...And I prefer to be one of them...😊

Originally posted by: Pramila.harish

Dixit family not just flawed, they committed sin. Eshwari being mother differentiated between her own children. She snatched basic rights of neha. And dev mahan, snatched jobs which made whole family to suffer. But this is serial...so it is heropanti which I don't relate to.

I understand, spineless cowardness and politics in the family. But thankfully I belong to a very progressive thinking family though my MIL not educated(to the extent she cannot read time). So for me it is definitely a extreme behaviour of Dixit's I am not able to relate and when people justify their behavior.

If you had gone through such a pathetic life...I feel really sorry for you. But you agree, it is not normal behaviour. So we have to condemn such acts. It starts from home. At least next generation does not have to go through this torture.

Originally posted by: grace4317

Bolded - Pramila, I was not justifying their behaviour. What I did was to just help them out of that cocoon...And being a compassionate human being I believe that they also have a right to live a peaceful life and if I am ready to help them out, what is the big deal in that.

Red bolded - Till now I have never felt that I had been through a pathetic life...Because I have grown up seeing my grandmothers and their contemporaries who have struggled twice or thrice than our generation has gone through. When compared to them, I have been blessed with lots of freedom, oppurtunities, facilities etc. And inspite of all these limitations, if they could work hard and be patient with their situations, then why can't I? My maternal grandmother always used to remind me that instead of concentrating on what we do not have, if we concentrate on how much more we are blessed than the less privileged, we will learn to be content with what we have. And that's what I have applied in all areas of my life.

Finally ending with two quotes,

''It is the cheerful mind that is persevering. It is the strong mind that hews its way through a thousand difficulties''. - Swami Vivekananda

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Originally posted by: Pramila.harish

Beautiful quotes grace. It applies to all the genders. We have to make our family people to generous each other. They should know respecting and loving each other. Also they should know give and take...It is our responsibility to make healthy family.

I am being married for 21 yrs. I really understand what is adjusting and accepting and compromises in life. I am a mangalorean and in my caste we female are successor of our family. Eg...my mother got her parents house. So you can imagine my family background. We females are equal in every decision making. It doesn't mean that we are loud and disrespectful towards our husband. We give high priority to our husband and their family. But same time we give more love to daughters and daughter in laws. Here actually I am shocked to see and hear from people that after going through difficulties in their life..still justify dixit's behaviour. So I raised my concern. I am not saying you should have backed out or withdrawn. I am happy you could make it. But my concern is people should raise this as issue but not as normal human being flaws. Around us many gounger generation people are here. They should not think it ok to be like that. What you went through others should not go through this. Hope you understand my concern. You know the family background really matters for personality and thinking.

I think its my first time chatting with you. Sorry if I affended you.

Originally posted by: srikalaganesh

V nice article and nice to read. thank u for sharing.

I have a doubt is it written by sudha moorthy mam??? She mentioned that house in chennai... But she lives in Bangalore near my aunts place and they r neighbours... And v simple down to earth family...