Being good.

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...Doctor...

@...Doctor...

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

Hello everybody!

Asha's lecture in today's episode about a good husband, good son, good brother and good father got me thinking what's the ideal definition of being good? Is it okay if a person is a good father and not a good human being? For me, it's not.

When I say that someone is good, I look for certain things like:

- How a person behaves with his elders.

- Does he/she respect everybody equally?

- If the person is polite to everyone.

- If he or she understands the relationship that we share.

- Is he/she courageous enough to stand for his/her beliefs.

- Can he/she be a support in the time of need.

- Is he/she grateful for the great things in his life.

Unfortunately, Dev doesn't fit any of my prerequisites of being anything good. I hope Asha can explain in detail, exactly how she deemed him fit to be tagged as a good Dad? He's has done absolutely nothing(for now) to prove this point right. Just winning games, talking sweetly, giving into all your child's wishes doesn't make you a good Dad. It takes a lot more than that. I'd never respect my dad if he acted like he was going to slap my grandfather. I'd never respect my dad if talked so rudely to my mother and my maternal family. I'd never look up to him if I knew that he was responsible for making innocent people homeless. Dev is, for now, one of the worst kind of person to look up to as a dad.

Secondly, if Asha meant that she can't judge Dev on the basis of things said by Sona then I'm totally disappointed with her today. She has seen her daughter miserable because of this man. She has been homeless because of this man. She knows her daughter won't give up on some so easily, something she loved the most. How can she, even for a moment, think that Dev might not be that bad.

So tell me, what's your definition of being good?

P.S.- There's a difference between being good and being flawed. Please remember that.

Edited by ...Doctor... - 8 years ago

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charminggenie

@charminggenie

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Good is subjective, abstract , so is bad.

A good doctor doesn't mean that person be a good human being. Nor does a good soldier means that person is going to turn up as a good dad.

Even the definition of this good is situational. A dad can be "good" when he is spending and pampering the kid but he could be find lacking if he doesn't understand that his relationships/behaviour/actions also impact the upbringing the child. It goes the same for mother too.

I disagree with whatever shit Asha spewed because thats a very patronizing conditioning. Like they say in our society, "Arey, he is a good dad, so what if he is a crappy, distant husband", you grind and survive and not complain. Or you will be selfish, heartless person.

In the context of the show, really nobody is good/bad but what irks me to this date, not just Dev but Sona has too disappointed me. I have mentioned earlier how she erred when she didn't tell Dev all these years..fear enough, I could get the reasoning a bit but then she let the decision of Disclosing the father on the little child . Soha made the decision then because her mother overlooked the age, sensitivity, maturity and pushed the kid to "adult" up. So now it ain't annoying or frustrating to see Soha dictating the lives of everyone.

Again, like I earlier mentioned Dev was/is a horrid man but it didn't mean he would be a bad dad similarly just because he is being charming on an impersonable kid doesn't mean he is a "good" guy.

I just cannot connect with Asha , as a woman , she is just there to be a irrelevant sounding board who spews as a contrast to Bijoy.

Edited by charminggenie - 8 years ago

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Tinkerfairy

@Tinkerfairy

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

perfect post 👏👏

asha is nothing but mouthpiece of Cv's who is shown to justify the actions of dev babu and ishwari ke karname

But in this of making her mahan and "BEST" They are literary showing her woman who is tolerating her husband just for "relationship" ,She doesn't care what her daughter went through . Aise kaun se PLANET ki maa hain 😆😆

Edited by Tinkerfairy - 8 years ago

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WeRockTheWorld

@WeRockTheWorld

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

There is nothing called as a good husband or good wife or good father etc...it all depends on people , practices , culture etc...its like beauty ...what is beautiful for you might be ugly for others...sometimes when ppl crack jokes ...some might laugh...others might get offended...so the art of human behavior is something that one improves and perfects as we grow old...now while we do that if we change location or decide to live in a different place or with different ppl then we might have to unlearn this behavior to suit the present circumstance ...

We are all taught to respect our elders...but elders like Bijoy and Ishwari do they deserve that respect...yes for the name sake we can give...but imagine...spoiling ur sons life because of insecurity ?? and Bijoy's response to Golu was it justified...what will the youngsters learn if the elders behave in this manner??

Elders have to set example to stay calm and composed ...but that is not the case here..human behavior to a given situation at different age will differ...what we felt was a big issue in 20s...might seem silly at 50s...what we didn't focus to resolve in 30s might seem like a big mistake at 60s...so its all relative ...and there is no hard and fast rule like a computer program to say ...if you do these many things in a particular way you will be termed good.

Its all about actions and reaction among people...you act good you will get good reaction...you act cunning you might seem to win ...but later when found then you will have no one by your side...so basically what you give is what you get in life...

Live and let Live !!

Edited by WeRockTheWorld - 8 years ago

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...Doctor...

@...Doctor...

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: charminggenie
Good is subjective, abstract , so is bad.
A good doctor doesn't mean that person be a good human being. Nor does a good soldier means that person is going to turn up as a good dad.

Even the definition of this good is situational. A dad can be "good" when he is spending and pampering the kid but he could be find lacking if he doesn't understand that his relationships/behaviour/actions also impact the upbringing the child. It goes the same for mother too.

I disagree with whatever shit Asha spewed because thats a very patronizing conditioning. Like they say in our society, "Arey, he is a good dad, so what if he is a crappy, distant husband", you grind and survive and not complain. Or you will be selfish, heartless person.

In the context of the show, I really nobody is good/bad but what irks me to till this date, not just Dev but Sona has too disappointed me. I have mentioned earlier how she erred when she didn't tell Dev all these years..fear enough, I could get the reasoning a bit but then she let the decision of Disclosing the father on the little child . Soha made the decision then because her mother overlooked the age, sensitivity, maturity and pushed the kid to "adult" up. So now it ain't annoying or frustrating to see Soha dictating the lives of everyone.

Again, like I earlier mentioned Dev was/is a horrid man but it didn't mean he would be a bad dad similarly just because he is being charming on an impersonable kid doesn't mean he is a "good" guy.

I just cannot connect with Asha , as a woman , she is just there to be a irrelevant sounding board who spews as a contrast to Bijoy.

I can agree that Sonakshi has made mistakes but at least she has tried to rectify them or owned up to them. She doesn't live in a bubble where everything went wrong because of one person and she was holier than thou. No. She knows she had a part to play and she accepts it and has made peace with it. That makes her good.

Dev on the other hand blames, accuses and taunts about the past. He accepts that he hurt Sonakshi but did he think where he went wrong? Also, he forgets and forgives his mother for the same crime that Sonakshi committed. Why? This automatically makes him look bad.

Now about the dad part, I'm not saying he can't be a good Dad because he's a bad person. He can be a good Dad but not the way he's trying to be. Yesterday was his first lesson when Sonakshi told him that as a parent you need to learn to say no. Not because you can't fulfill your child's wish but because the wish is illogical but did he learn? No.

Thanks for the comment, makes so much sense.

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charminggenie

@charminggenie

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

@Doc-- The show doesn't treat Sona as a character, the entire show is written for Dev and because Ishwari as antagonist. I agree a bit about Sona but as much as I want to cheer for her I know they just mold her to fit her in the primary equation , which is sad and bad for the show and why Dev is never shown to improve, learn or introspect. To stretch the show they will never change him till the end phase.Hence we are left with the usual Ishwari-Dev equation influencing the show. The makers rely on- stan followers, chemistry and don't even bother to write the plots well even if they don't want the show to be character driven which would mean evolving Dev.

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306969

Suspended

Posted: 8 years ago

Doctor..today it seemed like Asha has been harboring resentment for Bijoy all these years. And that I feel is the reason why she is not very loyal to him.she did not get angry with Dev who insulted her husband twice. Could it be because she probably felt that he deserves it??

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sia.krpkab

@sia.krpkab

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Great post, doctor.

Today's episode left a very bad taste. No matter how much I try to look beyond logic, I cannot watch something which creates havoc even with my dead brain cells!

Dev, Asha, Ishwari - God, I don't get them at all.

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sia.krpkab

@sia.krpkab

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: charminggenie
@Doc-- The show doesn't treat Sona as a character, the entire show is written for Dev and because Ishwari as antagonist. I agree a bit about Sona but as much as I want to cheer for her I know they just mold her to fit her in the primary equation , which is sad and bad for the show and why Dev is never shown to improve, learn or introspect. To stretch the show they will never change him till the end phase.Hence we are left with the usual Ishwari-Dev equation influencing the show. The makers rely on- stan followers, chemistry and don't even bother to write the plots well even if they don't want the show to be character driven which would mean evolving Dev.

👏 amazing. I feel bad for Erica. She made a mark with her abilities, but the CVs seriously are on a spree to ruin her character

Edited by sia.krpkab - 8 years ago