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Ishq Rog Banta Gaya
Jese Dam Nikalta Gaya Re..
Khawahishon Ke Kanton Pe Dil
Nange Paoon Chalta Gaya Re...
This Is Exactly How I Felt What Ravish..You.. Have Been Through And Still Going Through...
Today Vividha To Free Herself From This Chain She Has Chained You In A Lifetime Scar..And You Dont Blame Her...Afterall Its Her Life And Her Right..
Bowed Head..Slumped Shoulders..Teary Eyes..Tears Rolling Down Your Cheeks..Rubbing And Holding Your Hands Together As If Its Burning And You Are Trying To Cool It Down..
This Is How You Were Sitting Alone..
When You Have Just Woken Up To The Day Which Will Gave You Enough Pain..Its Exactly How You Feel.. You Feel Suffocated...You Will Like Running Away...And See...You Were Feeling That..
When You Cry..You Become A Fragile Kid..Kid Whose Heart Has Been Stumped By Someone Brutally...
When Sujata Came...You Stayed In A Same Position..As If You Didnt Noticed Her..When She Kept Hand On Your Shoulder You Suddenly Closed Your Eyes As If Your Eyes Are Getting Too Heavier To Keep Open...Did Sujata's Comfort Gesture Made Your Heart More Heavier? Or You Didnt Wanted Her To Know What Your Eyes Were Showing?
She Told You To Come Down..Everyone Is Waiting For You..Waiting For Your Heart Breaking Into Pieces..Again...And Your Reaction? You Turned Your Face Away..And Noded In A Yes..And The First Thing You Asked Was 'Aur Vividha?'
You Couldnt Speak..Because Your You Felt Like Someone Has Choked Your Throat..And It Was Soo Difficult For You To Say A Word Even...
And Why Did You Asked About Her? Because You Wanted To Know That Is She Ready To Break You Again? Or Maybe Something Else..Or Maybe Because It Was Only Vividha In Your Heart And Mind..
You Again Started Rubbing Your Hands Together As If It Someone Is Tearing You Apart And You Are Trying Your Best To Control Yourself...
And Suddenly Your Eyes Showed You Those Beautiful Dream..
You Stood Up..Bended Towards That Pagdi..But Your Hands Were Shaking..You Were Soo Scared Of Touching That..As If Touching That Will Shatter Your Dreams Forever..And A Tear Fell From Your Eyes..But You Took It And Took A Close Look..It Reminded You Of Something Speacial..Ooh..Your Wedding Day..When You Were Wearing It And You Felt Your Happiness.. You Wore It And Saw Yourself In Mirror...Were You Asking Something To Your Reflection In Mirror?
You Then Took Your Attire..Holded It Closely To Your Heart...And Saw Your Reflection Again..You Cried..But Tried To Smile..But Failed Miserably..
Were You Asking Your Reflection Something? Again?
Usually When One Looks At Their Particular Wedding Attire..They Feel Special..Those Attires Are Beautiful Memories..And You Had..
But Now These Wedding Attire Will Also Have Memories..But Of Tears And Loneliness..
And Such Attires Arent Attires..They Are Thorns Which Is Colorful But Stings Every Single Part Of Your Body..
You Didnt Wanted It To Be One..
Those Attire Was A Beautiful Dream Of Togetherness And Happiness..But For You It Was Nothing But A Mere Piece Of Cloth Which Will Burn Your Every Part..
You Didnt Wanted To Wear.. You Felt Like Saying "No..Please..Dont..No" But You Couldnt..Because Your Heart And Mind Knows You Were Going To Do Right Thing..So You Were Trying To Do It In A Best Way..But It Was Tough...Isnt It?
You Were Finding So Hard To Deal With It..
First She Broke You..And Now..Knowingly..Again..Broke You..
And Your Eyes? They Couldnt Stop Crying..They Wanted To Cry More..But You Had To Stop Them From Flowing Because People Were Waiting For You..
You Got Ready..Wore Those Thorns Which Were Pricking Your Heart And Body Gracefully..And Started Climbing Down..Slowly..
Flashbacks? Of Whom? That Girl Who Convinced You To Crush Your Heart Infront Of Her And Others..Again..That Girl Who Gave You Nothing But Pain? That Girl Who Cared A Damn About You? You Were Thinking About Your And Her Those Sweet Memories..
But Are Those Sweet Memories? Yes..For You It Was..Her Silly Behaviour..Her Smile..Her Talks..Her Eyes Which Were A Sparkling Beauty Filled With Saddness..Her Nature..Her Care..Her Kindness..
It Was ONLY YOURS..And Only You Have Rights On Them...
You Were Walking Like A Dead Soul..Because You Had Prepared Yourself To Face A Nightmare Infront Of Everyone For Her Happiness..
First She Broke Your Heart Into Pieces..Then She Kept Those Pieces..And Then Slowly Slowly She Crushed It Under Feet..
And Now She Is Even Taking Away The Memory Of That Special Day..She Is Taking Away Your Rights On Memories Too..By Making You To Do Those Reverse Rounds..
Your Soul Must Be Screaming In Pain..Asking To Stop Crushing You Everytime..Screaming "No.Dont Make Me Go Through This.Its Beyond My Tolerance.Its Too Tough On Me..Plz Dont"
But Then You Wiped Your Tears..
You Saw Her Waiting For You..
Waiting To Hurt You..
Waiting To Dagger Your Heart With Her Actions..
But You..With Your Stern Look..Composed Yourself And Sat Infront Of Pyre..Beside Her..Without Giving Her Any Other Glance..You Looked Straight..Your Eyes Reflecting Your Pain..You Looked Exhausted..But Still Sat Beside Her..Prepared Yourself For Another Horrible Reality..When Pandit Ji Asked You To Stand..Without Wasting Any Time..Without Shedding Anymore Tears..You Stood..Waiting For A Moment When Your Heart..Your Feelings..Your Soul.. Will Be Crushed By Her...Under Her Feets...And This Time..Everyone Will Witness It...And Your Memory Of Your Marriage Will Be Replaced By This Memory Of Crumbling...
And When You Are Standing Infront Of Her...After Going So Much Of Emotions..And Breakdown...Doing What She Wants..Instead Of Doing It..She Takes His Name..And Leaves You Behind...
You Looked A Like A Lost Soul..
A Soul Who Was Loveless. And Colourless..
And Again..After Going Through So Many Feelings..She Just Didnt Cared..AGAIN.
And The Battle You Fought With Yourself..Against Yourself..Went In Vain.
And Then You Smiled When You Saw Your Brother Alive..Even In This Condition..You Smiled..
Kaun Ho Tum Ravish? Kis Mitti Ke Bane Ho?
Jinlogo Ne Itne Gehre Zakhm Diye..Unke Liye Muskuraa Rahe Ho Tum?
Yeh Kaisi Mohobbat Hai Tumhari?
P.S.- Vividha.I Wont Question Or Bash You For Keeping Your Wushes Above Everything. Everyone Does. But You Are All About "I, Me, Myself And My Love" And Again Today To Just Showed It.For You Its Love But For Others Love Is Nothing And Easy To Move On. And When You Are Selfish. Accept It. Wish You Could See Yourself From Others Eyes. Maybe One Day You Will. And Stop Putting Blame On Others When All You Have Done Is Hurting Them. Especially That Man Who Stood For You..Everytime. So Dont Blame Others When You And Your Actions Prove That You Are Selfish. Khud Ki Khushiyan Ke Baarein Mein Sochna Galat Nahi Hai..Haq Hai Humara..Par Aisa Bhi Na Ho Ke Dusra Ko Hum Baar Baar Maar De Apni Khushiyon Ke Khaatir..
Anupamaa
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