About the wedding expenses

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ErisedWitch45

@ErisedWitch45

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Firstly I am enjoying the show with Karan, Meghna, Sharda being few of my fav characters. I liked that no matter what the circumstances, Sharda didn't take money from her brothers, as promised to her s-i-ls.

But from what is being shown in the past couple of eps by the cvs - Sharda running from pillar to post to get a loan of 20Lac for her daughter's wedding - implies that no matter how educated or qualified the girl is, her wedding will always be a burden for the parents(?) This is what I picked up from the past eps. Something which I don't agree on at all.

Meghna is from IIM. That is not a joke wrt the package that she must be getting. So she is financially independent. And in the series, the cvs are still showing how Sharda is stressed trying to gather funds. [In no way am I saying that dependent girls are a liability. I am against this differentiation b/w a daughter and a son. Herein I am simply focussing on the character of Meghna.]

I get it that tv shows are not supposed to impart social messages but I kinda have a problem with the portrayal of Meghna's wedding expense. It just cements the wrong belief that daughter is a "burden" or a "liability" - a sentiment which is quite deep rooted, sometimes subconsciously, in the psyche of many people in our society.

Maybe I am wrong in my interpretation of the past episodes, would love to hear if someone has something to add :)

Edited by ErisedWitch45 - 9 years ago

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Siya

@Siya2202

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

Well, you presented really good points and right now I am in no way to present counter points to you!
Sharda is one of my fav characters in the show too. But there are few contradictions which makes me ponder over her character over times. Maybe CVs find this to keep her character stuck to more of realism.
For me, sharda just wants to get her daughter married in right household. She finds the chauhans perfect for this esp when she put down the first rishta cos they disagreed for Meghna's working after marriage too, whereas after hearing sujaan's words, she gained confidence that chauhan house will be the right choice for her daughter.
So just to get her daughter married in a proper way without any pomp and show, she is just trying to put across the things in a perfect manner. She doesn't want anyone to leave disappointed neither the chauhans. So she is trying every best possible way to get everything right. For this she might be seen moving around asking for loans from various people but not her brothers cos she thinks that they had done enough for her and her daughters so its her duty not to ask a penny from them.
I don't know if I made any sense from my post, but thats what I understood from previous epis.
Do leave your response too!

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sgc68

@sgc68

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

I think it got a little mixed up. The girls were educated well but had no say on when to get married. They were not allowed to start their careers. Further complicating matters was that Shardha felt that a wealthy family was the best choice for her daughter. The difference in financial status is telling on Shardha - Rs. 20 lakhs is nothing to the Chauhans.

A simple ceremony in the registrar's office will not cost much but lavish celebrations will cost a lot and someone will have to foot the bill. But who? Despite it being an arranged marriage, the families have not sat down and worked out the arrangements. Obviously, the Chauhans have no inhibitions on spending large amounts for pomp.

Even Dadu is supporting this by paying the bill albeit discretely. He did not put his foot down and say a simple ceremony would suffice. That would have upheld Shardha's dignity. Right now I am feel she is dependent on Dadu's charity.

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Siya

@Siya2202

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

I too mentioned that things seems a bit contradictory in terms of marriage here. Well, one couldn't expect more from a daily soap! And being a rajshri, known for their granduers, we cannot question this more often. The only good thing is that things are going with a certain flow in the show with OTT dramas which is usually found in any alternative show, and everyone's around enjoying their bit, so for me tackling my brain for finding something logical in a daily soap, is something similiar of figuring out as of how I got less marks if I had written a complete one page of the essay and got less marks over it!lol

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Karaali

@Karaali

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

The daughter's marriage should not be a burden.

In this show, I blame Sharda for making it a burden for herself. For some reason, she is convinced only a very wealthy family will allow her daughter to work. She is going for the marriage after being constantly insulted by the daughter's future father-in-law and his sidekick. Is she really expecting her daughter to get the respect and appreciation she deserves in that family?

End of my usual rant --

Sharda has to put her foot down about the marriage expenses and not give into all demands.

She knows her financial condition. Swabhimaan does not mean she cannot talk about money to the Chauhans. They are talking in abstract - this should be best or that should be best. They need to talk in terms of real money. This is what happens in the real marriages of equal social and financial standing in my experience. She can make it clear, how much she can spend.

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sgc68

@sgc68

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Exactly. Shraddha was disappointed with one family's response to her daughter's desire to work. It doesn't mean that all middle class families will be the same. Shraddha is spending all her money on Meghna's wedding. What about Naina's needs?

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viji2111

@viji2111

Dazzler

+ 7

Posted: 9 years ago

I am still wondering why is Meghna getting married?

what about the education loan she must have taken for her studies?

is she planning to repay it after the marriage?

no body is talking about that and on top of it sharda is thinking about applying for a new loan.

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anonee

@anonee

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: ErisedWitch45
Firstly I am enjoying the show with Karan, Meghna, Sharda being few of my fav characters. I liked that no matter what the circumstances, Sharda didn't take money from her brothers, as promised to her s-i-ls.
But from what is being shown in the past couple of eps by the cvs - Sharda running from pillar to post to get a loan of 20Lac for her daughter's wedding - implies that no matter how educated or qualified the girl is, her wedding will always be a burden for the parents(?) This is what I picked up from the past eps. Something which I don't agree on at all.

Meghna is from IIM. That is not a joke wrt the package that she must be getting. So she is financially independent. And in the series, the cvs are still showing how Sharda is stressed trying to gather funds. [In no way am I saying that dependent girls are a liability. I am against this differentiation b/w a daughter and a son. Herein I am simply focussing on the character of Meghna.]

I get it that tv shows are not supposed to impart social messages but I kinda have a problem with the portrayal of Meghna's wedding expense. It just cements the wrong belief that daughter is a "burden" or a "liability" - a sentiment which is quite deep rooted, sometimes subconsciously, in the psyche of many people in our society.

Maybe I am wrong in my interpretation of the past episodes, would love to hear if someone has something to add :)

Excellent post!!

Before I reply - I have to confess, I do not watch this show regularly.

What turned me off from the show was Sharadha's view of "how to handle a daughter's marriage". This is a management issue - and I am surprised the IIM passed Meghna has little practical knowledge of management to give to her mother!

Sharadha wanted to get her daughters educated - just as one would educate a son. I support this view. However, this meant one deserving student (of either gender) on the college entry wait list lost an opportunity for education at that college. This student may have converted education to career and supported a family. This concept of converting education to career is not something that Sharadha takes seriously. For Sharadha, education is for marriage into a 'high status' family that permit her daughter to work following marriage. She is not interested in making inquiries whether the family lives by the sanskaar they preach or in meeting with the potential groom and his family members prior to the marriage. She wants an instant sagaii - and instead of confirming with the groom's parents the logistics of the sagaii - she converses with a paid employee, Sandhya. Similarly, instead of conveying to her family members the budget within which she is operating to conduct the sagaii - she acts as if she has no clue of financial planning - and lets her relatives use the 5 star hotel facilities lavishly. This results in an extremely high bill that was paid by Dadaji. If Sharadha had even a shred of Swabhimaan she would have at the very least paid the Salon and Spa (personal expense) section of the bill that was incurred by her relatives. But that never happened.

Now instead of calling Nirmala and talking about the wedding date and arrangements - she is going about as if she is a miracle worker (not a working woman with some sense of financial planning) who is oblivious of the consequences of debt and the fact that she has another daughter who is of marriageable age!

Yes, this show promotes getting girls married is a burden, that working women have no concept of financial planning, and that IIM educated female graduates are incapable of understanding real life management issues. (The male IIM graduate has shown how he marriage can be used for business gain.)

Edited by anonee - 9 years ago

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sgc68

@sgc68

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

You have hit the nail on the head. Shardha needs to watch Saavdhan India. I also can't recall her confirming that Meghna would be allowed to work by the Chauhan family like she did with the other prospective groom!

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Namita

@Namita-M

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: sgc68
You have hit the nail on the head. Shardha needs to watch Saavdhan India. I also can't recall her confirming that Meghna would be allowed to work by the Chauhan family like she did with the other prospective groom!

She spoke to Dadaji about the working after marriage. But, I'm pretty sure NK is going to be an issue. Firstly, is he going to let her work in another company?? I mean outside the family business??

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