Haan Who dikh hi raha hai aap ne humare bhole bhale Dev ko kaise phansa liya aur kaise Sourav ne aur aap logone aapne jeb bhar liye...Ab dikha rahe aap log apna asli rang... Screamed Mamiji spitting poison, only caring about A Bangalan being thrown out from here...And this was best moment she found to accuse them and add fire...
But didn't she think once I am his wife whom he loved & loves and married me...
She herself being a woman didn't think once how will I do with my home destroyed and what am I going through...
Before I could handle the matter, Baba started shouting on Maa & Dev...where Maa was getting tensed unnecessarily and accusing me which disturbed her mentality and she sat down holding her paining forehead & here Dev was trying to make her understand, But Why? Why? I felt like something bad was going to happen...Maybe Very Bad...And baba was too much humiliated with all accuses...
I saw Dev then, he tried to be calm but was losing temper but before I could say anything to save relations, I got a shock in return...
No! No! No!
Actual Fuel to Fire was added by her own Dev... When things worsened and he turned over furiously telling baba to stop his shouts and all said before was done was the only sound of a slap on my baba's face which not only hurt him physically but mentally and may be accidently but most of all your Sona too.
...
...
...
All there was; was eerie of silence that had every one a disastrous expression...
I was and am beyond shock and I said nothing with tears flowing out like words unsaid...
Dev, tried to explain something to Baba but I had all my attention to Baba who...I Knew...was breaking down every second and the expression on his face was inexpressible...
And he walked away, across me, Maa, Sourav...My family to his home and why not I was about to run to him. To hug my baba who was always there to hug me when I got slightest of a scratch and said I'm His Daughter proudly...
But before I could set my foot in to walk towards my Baba...I heard the most harshest voice that I still respected but now was disgusted, Mami shout at me...
Ae bangalan kahan chali ho, Dekho tumhari Maa aur meri jiji ko shayad chakkar aa rahe hai, toh jao aur unke liye nimbu paani wagarah le aao, Jao...
And I had turned back that I knew that she had trapped me very efficiently. I was about to answer back but when I turned over them, I couldn't...I just couldn't...
Because all eyes in the hall had shifted to me over the question of not nimbu pani but of whose side you'll be taking Ms.Sonakshi Bose & Dixit...This is my name where for now Bose and Dixit are separated, if they are together so this all won't be happening & most importantly I wouldn't have been felt helpless...
Today I wanted ground to swallow me... Today I was being tested once again...And from many days I am on the edge which tells me to shout, but couldn't ; to scream, but couldn't ; to cry, but couldn't ; and many but couldn't(s)...
I looked up to see one pair of eyes evilly smirking, another questioning & piercing, then another lost somewhere, and another...comforting, my Mom...Understanding what I'm going through...
And then I looked back to see my Dada who had gone after Baba, his expressions telling all that baba wants to talk to his favorite child...About Everything...
I looked Down, composing myself for uttering a few words...
Nimbu pani toh Kicchu bhaiya bhi bana denge lekin...choking down, don't know why but said slowly...Lekin yaha Mere parivar ki bezaati(humiliation) ki kimat(cost) toh aap log kabhi nahi de paayenge, aur jaha tak main janti hoon Mamiji, Dev ke liye uski first priority Maa hai waise hi Meri bhi first priority meri family, meri Maa, mere Baba hai jinhone mujhe sab se pehla pyaar karna sikhaya, aur pata hai who kya hai, forgiveness and selflessness...
And I knew my words had caused a great shock to everyone, but one day or other, I had to get rid of all this and today it seemed beyond all bounds that I crossed with needs today...
Dev looked at me with blank face but I didn't know what his shallow honey eyes were saying...And all she said to herself rather was having a monologue in mind said only that Sorry Mr. Dev Dixit, lekin Na pehle mai aapko pehchaan paayi aur na aaj tak mai; main aapko saamjh paayi, Aakhir pyaar kyu kiya aapne mujhse ki main ye nahi jaan paayi ki kya main aapki kuch lagti bhi hoon ya nahi, today I doubt...
Pyaar pana was not difficult aur naahi pyaar sambhalna was difficult but aapka aaj kuch na bolna was difficult for me and all I had was questions and questions that Why? Why? Oh Why? Did you be silent and let Your family members say all venomous words to My family members...
Yes, I feel now it's yours and mines different family... due to this all... because I thought you said it was Ours and I felt... What I felt? Nothing?
I won't become a mother
I won't have supportive in laws
I won't be selfish and go through every painful treatment...
I won't...What I won't? I am today nothing but play doll and today my sadness queens and evil devils laughed and rejoiced at me, my time, my destiny, and my fate...
It is My...
Bigg Boss 19
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
