Sex&Marriage - Page 2

First Previous

Page

Frequent Posters

13thwish

@13thwish

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#11

Thank you guys for your beautiful posts. You make the writing experience worthwhile for me too.😳

Have to rush though, so this is my last post for now. Anyway, my responses seem to be turning into longer n longer rants.😆

Honestly, it's just cuz am frustrated that every single thing Vivi does is questioned and misinterpreted.

If ViTharv had actually performed the wedding rituals and then all of this would've happened, no one would be doubting her. No one would be thinking her concern n friendship with R are an indication of love or a soft corner or something.

So if we just put aside what society and the V fam thinks and only consider what Vivi thinks, then in her mind nothing's changed. Even during the R/V pheras, Vivi was re-living her own vachans with Atharv. So tell me, what other shaadi is there?

In fact, she has done everything that a good wife does. She kept KC for him. She prayed for him. When he was not there, she loved him through hallucinations (imagine the madness of this girl).. When he was accused of everything from molestation to murder, she never once doubted him. Even when there was no proof, she stood by him. She protects him from every danger. When she found about his mental state, it did not affect her love at all. She did not even blink or hesitate before taking complete responsibility for him. She loved and accepted him just the way he was, even in that state. She cooked for him, cared for him, dropped everything to look after him. If he remained in that state forever, she would've loved him like that forever. Can you imagine this level of devotion? She never thinks of herself. Not once. She has never asked for a better life for herself. Whatever kind of life she can lead with Atharv, she is willing to lead. If it is a life of lies n guilt, then this girl who could never lie is even willing to endure that. Instead of living a full and respected life with anyone else, she would rather lead this half life of secrets and shadows. Only for his sake.

In my eyes, shaadi or no shaadi, Vivi is the ultimate pativrata. It doesn't matter if she also cares for other people who have been good to her. In her own words, "NOONE can ever take Atharv's place in her life!" They belong only to each other. 😳

Quote

ARCHRE

@ARCHRE

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: 13thwish

What??! How did you know? 😲 I honestly had no intention of making a post, have been actively avoiding the forum actually.. This was just an impulse honestly. 😆
I was thinking about ships and shippers and was wondering, "Do people even realize the implications of these ships?"
There are so many morality lectures being given about marriage all the time, but does no one value an actual connection between two people?

I never understand this fixation with labels. There is so much pressure on poor Vivi to always do the right thing, but what about the right thing for herself? Does no one care about that?

There is unfairness toward R and unfairness toward Atharv. Vividha once said, "I will fulfill all relationships. Even if I have to break myself into pieces to do it." Poor girl, she has stuck by her word so diligently. Yet, no one has a breath to waste on the unfairness toward Vivi. So caught up in everything but herself.

P. S: Your praise is overwhelming and just too much.😳 But you know, I'd rather hear your thoughts on the topic. I appreciate all insight, don't ever worry about the words used to express it.

Wish 😳 You are indeed a beautiful writer and that will always stay ...Really my day did start well with this after all the negativity here ... How did I know ? Isnts negativity always followed by positivity 😊 Just like the light after the dark 😳

I believe that any relationship ... any for that matter which takes even a small percent of freedom from one and overloads it on the other is an unbalanced one and truly a non successful one ... and that largely applies to marriage. It will stay as a relationship in the norms of society but will truly be devoid of any intensity obviously because ones freedom to live life of their own terms is compromised ...

In this realtionship one is slowy dying and the other may not even care ...How beautiful is that really and women are expected to live just like this in our society and its considered no big deal ... Killing somebodys soul 🥱 ...And whats even more sad is that a lot of women do accept this and live with it ...A reaction to Vividhas forced marraige and the expectation out of that to be successful from a certain set of people here is complete proof to that acceptance in society .

I started seeing JNDSD from around the time Atharv got guddi back and spoke about society and the episode that really impressed me was the one where he told her what marraige means to him ... wasnt that beautiful ' Pyaar Azzadi deti hai " and ' Ristay Yaa To Jiye jaate hai Yaa to NibhayeJaate hai ' ...The freedom of thought was beautifully expressed and this got me to go back and see all the other episodes till then ...

Vividha was kind of raised by her father in a way that his aim was for her to 'settle down' in a rich household ( whatever that means ) --- who cares how the boy is anyways .....Then she met Atharv who let her be and be herself ... she sensed a freedom of a different kind ... she met her own free spirit and then whether marraige happened or no ... they were in this journey of life together ...Her free will was not compromised ... She was his , mind soul and body out of her own free will even without a label ...

And then the forced marraige happened ... and suddenly everything wrt her was compromised ... her identity , her choices ...she was gaslighted to a point of emotional breakdown , she was made to act in front of a family and the mother especially and her security was nobodys concern ...

What a contrast ... Its sad that people ship an intent like this ...Such a regressive intent and now she is expected to be Ravish's , MORE BODY then mind & soul ... especially as there is a label associated to it ... Sick 🥱

Desi TV can be really regressive ... It largely thrives on the sacrifices of the FL ...

Nayi Soch ?

Edited by ARCHRE - 9 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

*Reemz*

@*Reemz*

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#13

Great posts everyone!

I think a lot of the narrow-mindedness comes from the refusal to accept that one can have desires which overrule society.

Vividha accepts Atharv as her husband, she was willing to go all the way with him physically, in her 'wedding' with Ravish she was only thinking of Atharv. She's fasted for Atharv, prayed for him...everything a wife does for the man she loves.

That's marriage to me.

Has Vividha once talked about the strength of her sindoor or mangalsutra? Has she once ever thought about her marriage to Ravish to be just more than a societal stamp? No reflections at all? Of course not! Because she's so clear in her heart as to what she wants but for a girl to walk away from a family whom have given her love & respect, it's just not that easy. Her guilt increases everytime she is shown a gesture of love by Ravish & Suman.

Vividha WANTS Atharv in every shape & form. People need to accept this!

If you are telling me that a societal-based stamp is more important than what you WANT then I just want to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. You should feel free to do whatever you want for yourself!

Edited by *Reemz* - 9 years ago

Quote

Shweta13

@Shweta13

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: 13thwish

Kiddo, you embarrass me with your praise😳

You know, I have often seen people mocking the "mann ka pati" term and I don't understand this mentality at all!
Do people think it is easy for a girl to call a man her husband even BEFORE they are married! Are those words that are casually or randomly used??! And not just once or twice, but so many times, without hesitation or embarrassment, Vivi has proudly stated it. In private, in front of his mother, in front of her family, in front of all society, she has said it! Over n over n over. So, tell me is Vividha's mann important or some stupid paper labels??!
How can there even be any ambiguity about this?😕 A girl is openly saying that I given this man complete spousal right over me. How can you even expect her to change her mind after that? It's crazy to even consider it!

Do you think it is easy for a sheltered, small town girl to tell a man she is attracted to him? That she desires him and wants to be intimate with him? How much courage is required to be so honest and how much confidence in your partner that they will not judge you.

That marriage of equals scene. She was so overwhelmed with respect for him and the kind of man he was that she wanted to touch his feet! The ultimate form of worship. Not because of any rituals or obligations but simply out of love and pride. She saw him as the man worthy of bowing down to.

There is no greater indignity than forced marriage. The humiliation of bartering your own body in a deal! Can you imagine the horror of it? But she did it anyway. Even though her mother gave her the option of backing out.. She promised to stand by Vivi.. But she was not guaranteeing Atharv's safety.. And Vivi didn't want to be safe if her soulmate was not safe.. So she tolerated the violation of an unwanted marriage. She burnt her hand and her soul but she endured.

She even stopped praying for herself. She only prayed for him.

All of this that she is doing now is for him. The taunts. The anger. The guilt. The awkwardness. The pain. Everything she silently suffers. The intensity of their bond may not come across often in this phase (desi TV and its limitations) but it remains the underlying truth. Whether people choose to accept it or not.

These words ... Brilliantly written MASTER PIECE ...

I can only applaud 👏

Quote

janvi0513

@janvi0513

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#15

An extremely well written post.
No marriage doesn't give permission of physical intimacy, before marriage a man forcing himself on a woman (I am not saying Ravish forced Vividha to get physical, this is in general) and after marriage husband forcing themselves on the wife both are considered rape, both are wrong. Wanting to establish a physical relation should comes from one's heart the consent of both parties should be there, whether it years before they are joined by the rituals of marriage or years after the are labelled husband and wife.
The craziest thing is people say matches are made in heaven and I consider Vitharav to be such a match than how can they who have been joined in heaven by the hands of god, be broken on earth by rituals created by humans.

Quote

kelly

@Africanqueenkel

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#16

Girl , I just wrote a counter post ...

Ps : this was needed for this fandom , perfect timing cause we all down in the dumps...

Quote

whispa

@whispa

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: 13thwish

Kiddo, you embarrass me with your praise😳

You know, I have often seen people mocking the "mann ka pati" term and I don't understand this mentality at all!
Do people think it is easy for a girl to call a man her husband even BEFORE they are married! Are those words that are casually or randomly used??! And not just once or twice, but so many times, without hesitation or embarrassment, Vivi has proudly stated it. In private, in front of his mother, in front of her family, in front of all society, she has said it! Over n over n over. So, tell me is Vividha's mann important or some stupid paper labels??!
How can there even be any ambiguity about this?😕 A girl is openly saying that I given this man complete spousal right over me. How can you even expect her to change her mind after that? It's crazy to even consider it!

Do you think it is easy for a sheltered, small town girl to tell a man she is attracted to him? That she desires him and wants to be intimate with him? How much courage is required to be so honest and how much confidence in your partner that they will not judge you.

That marriage of equals scene. She was so overwhelmed with respect for him and the kind of man he was that she wanted to touch his feet! The ultimate form of worship. Not because of any rituals or obligations but simply out of love and pride. She saw him as the man worthy of bowing down to.

There is no greater indignity than forced marriage. The humiliation of bartering your own body in a deal! Can you imagine the horror of it? But she did it anyway. Even though her mother gave her the option of backing out.. She promised to stand by Vivi.. But she was not guaranteeing Atharv's safety.. And Vivi didn't want to be safe if her soulmate was not safe.. So she tolerated the violation of an unwanted marriage. She burnt her hand and her soul but she endured.

She even stopped praying for herself. She only prayed for him.

All of this that she is doing now is for him. The taunts. The anger. The guilt. The awkwardness. The pain. Everything she silently suffers. The intensity of their bond may not come across often in this phase (desi TV and its limitations) but it remains the underlying truth. Whether people choose to accept it or not.

I'm going to refer everyone to this post of yours whenever they get upset with Vividha, because it's just such a brilliant post on her.😳

Quote

Glinda Elizabeth Kushero

@Ezria_Fan_4ever

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#18

That is such a meaningful post, u explained Viv's & the plight of woman in general so well. I never understood y d tag of marriage was so imperative in Indian society & y romantic relationships are frowned upon. Although times r changing ppl still live wth orthodox thoughts expecting women to take the brunt of society & live as per their expectations.

I stopped visiting IF after the constant negative posts & bashings Vividhas character received,that she shud not have another man in her heart after marriage,no amt of explaining her POV changed ppls thought process. Ur post was shared on twitter & that's how I'm here & really glad i read it.

Ppl r so hell bent on taking sides,while there's no harm in supporting ur fav actor one needs to keep reality in mind too.Who wud want 2 b in a forced marriage & b separated from their love in such a brutal fashion. Shes married to a good man true, but that doesn't mean it makes the events that happened b4 OK & she shud just accept the hand dealt to her. My mum once asked me what if ur fav actor Jake gyllenhal played Ravish( i knw not possible,just a thought)wud u still not support his marriage wth d gal...my answer was Hell no,I'd support him & his character but not at d cost of a gal crushing her dreams outta obligation. Viv deserves 2b truly happy whoever she finds it with & a mere ritual shud not stop her 4rm reaching 4what she wants or continuing 2 love the only man she ever has.

Edited by Ezria_Fan_4ever - 9 years ago

Quote

janvi0513

@janvi0513

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: Ezria_Fan_4ever
That is such a meaningful post, u explained Viv's & the plight of woman in general so well. I never understood y d tag of marriage was so imperative in Indian society & y romantic relationships are frowned upon. Although times r changing ppl still live wth orthodox thoughts expecting women to take the brunt of society & live as per their expectations.
I stopped visiting IF after the constant negative posts & bashings Vividhas character received,that she shud not have another man in her heart after marriage,no amt of explaining her POV changed ppls thought process. Ur post was shared on twitter & that's how I'm here & really glad i read it.

Ppl r so hell bent on taking sides,while there's no harm in supporting ur fav actor one needs to keep reality in mind too.Who wud want 2 b in a forced marriage & b separated from their love in such a brutal fashion. Shes married to a good man true, but that doesn't mean it makes the events that happened b4 OK & she shud just accept the hand dealt to her. My mum once asked me what if ur fav actor Jake gyllenhal played Ravish( i knw not possible,just a thought)wud u still not support his marriage wth d gal...my answer was Hell no,I'd support him & his character but not at d cost of a gal crushing her dreams outta obligation. Viv deserves 2b truly happy whoever she finds it with & a mere ritual shud not stop her 4rm reaching 4what she wants or continuing 2 love the only man she ever has.

If Ravish was played by an actor that I liked than I would not want Ravidha even more considering the fact that Ravish would never be happy in a loveless marriage.

Quote

Glinda Elizabeth Kushero

@Ezria_Fan_4ever

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: janvi0513

If Ravish was played by an actor that I liked than I would not want Ravidha even more considering the fact that Ravish would never be happy in a loveless marriage.

Exactly my point...The crux of it all is that she is and always will b in love wth another man...& Ravish deserves love, not d kinda relationship his mum had to live wth inspite of knowing d truth!!!

Quote

1 2

Sex&Marriage - Page 2

Related Topics

Explore Topics