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13thwish

@13thwish

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

One of my absolute favorite moments in HDDCS (yes, this is a deliberate reference since this movie is often used as a standard of comparison for this show😛) is the suhaagraat scene.

In this particular scene, the husband tries to get intimate with the wife and she is repulsed by his touch as she loves someone else. Angry and frustrated, she lashes out, "Does marriage only mean sex? Is physical intimacy all that matters?" Taken aback yet unflinchingly honest, he immediately responds, "Not at all. Marriage is first a meeting of the souls. And then two bodies."

^^If this is true, then in this show, who is truly married? The ones with a soul connection, the ones who can feel each other's pain, the ones who consider themselves two halves of a whole, the ones who dreamt of living or dying together..

The ones who performed a few rituals together..the ones who have the labels but not the connection.. The ones who have public approval but not private union..

Phase 2 has been a mess in terms of execution, yet this show did make a similar point, albeit over 30 episodes..

Initially, Vivi is repulsed by her "husband's" touch; she even lashes out and claims that he is NOT her husband.

However, after the truth is out, and the marriage is broken, she is indifferent to it. Because she has nothing against the man, it is the label she objects to. He can touch her as a friend but never ever as a husband.

This line between friendly and intimate touches may seem small, but the implications are massive.

The right that a girl gives to a man, to touch her freely and intimately, it is a sacred pact.. It does not a require a label, all it requires is innate trust. Vividha has allowed only one man to touch her soul. To see her completely naked, in all her flaws and vulnerabilities, to read her most personal feelings, to hear her most intimate secrets. One man has listened to all her naughty fantasies, one man has witnessed all her dreams, one man has seen her shattered and broken, one man has heard her fears.

Even if you discard the metaphysical, THIS is how real relationships are built. Layers and layers of intimate meaning and the freely given permission to be seen at your lowest and worst. This refusal to hide your true self, this absence of fear of judgement, this confidence of being accepted just the way you are.

THAT is a deep connection. It cannot be forced and it cannot be undone just because no one else understands it.

Personally, I don't care who is her "husband" or boyfriend or lover or anything. Damn those labels.

For this girl, for any girl in such a situation, only one man deserves to be her partner. The man who knows her inside out. The man who has seen it all and thinks all of it is worth loving.

Funnily enough, I wrote an entire essay on the nature of relationships, and yet the word "duty" wasn't required even once. Strange, isn't it? How far from truth and reality do we let ourselves travel simply to oblige others.

Vividha deserves the freedom to be honest with her desires. That is the only way she can build a lasting and meaningful relationship with anyone. Obligations will not just kill her real self but will also stifle any truth in the equation.

P. S: For the record, I do not ship ViTharv. I am not a romantic person, so the love story is not the draw for me in this show (believe it or not)😆. However, I stand by these words. They apply not just to Vivi but to us all.

Edited by 13thwish - 9 years ago

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Frequent Posters

ARCHRE

@ARCHRE

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Wish 😊 ... I so knew there would be a post from you today and here it is ... And so beautiful ... I don't think I hold the capacity to even add a line to your posts because they are just so full of CLARITY and PERFECTION ... I just read them and feel good and then read them all over again ... Thanks for this one and look forward to many more ...and yes, this just does apply to all of us 😊... A truly good start to the day this has been 😳 GOOD DAY

Edited by ARCHRE - 9 years ago

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whispa

@whispa

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

Wish🤗

As always, your post is wonderful and beautifully written. You really have a way with words.

Although this show has nothing to do with HDDCS(thank goodness), that dialogue you quoted could actually be the tagline of this show.

'Marriage is a meeting of souls.'

And for us, ViTharv married a long time ago. Their souls are connected in such a way that they feel each other's happiness and pain. When one hurts, the other hurts too.

ViTharv have given their heart and soul to each other. It may not be a public union, although you could argue that time and again, Vividha has proclaimed that Atharv is her husband, but in private between themselves, they have constantly acknowledged this fact.

Their intimacy in phase one is a testament to the fact that Vividha has given Atharv the right to touch her freely without any guilt or discomfort. Just look at Atharv's birthday flashback. We are shown Atharv leaning in for a kiss but it is not shown. But the implications are there. He completed the kiss and they were physical with each other.

And of course like you said Wish, their naughty talks. How freely did Vividha talk about how hot she found Atharv and how she wanted to consummate with him but just wasn't ready in that moment. She didn't need to marry him for that intimacy.

As for Ravish, he is Vividha's friend. Before, when he was her husband, she wouldn't let him cross a certain line. Forget about touching her, she couldn't even talk to him properly because that marriage label was there. Once that was taken away, Vividha visibly relaxed. When he did touch her, she didn't flinch because he was holding her as a friend, nothing more.

Vividha has made her choice so clear. As far as she is concerned, Atharv is her husband, the only one who has any right on her, who knows her more then she knows herself, the one she can't live without out.

It comes down to a choice between obligation and desire. She is obligated right now to Ravish because of society's label and the situation she is in. But she desires only to be with Atharv.

P.S. What would we do without you here Wish!

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13thwish

@13thwish

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: ARCHRE
Wish 😊 ... I so knew there would be a post from you today and here it is ... And so beautiful ... I don't think I hold the capacity to even add a line to your posts because they are just so full of CLARITY and PERFECTION ... I just read them and feel good and then read them all over again ... Thanks for this one and look forward to many more ...and yes, this just does apply to all of us 😊... A truly good start to the day this has been 😳 GOOD DAY

What??! How did you know? 😲 I honestly had no intention of making a post, have been actively avoiding the forum actually.. This was just an impulse honestly. 😆

I was thinking about ships and shippers and was wondering, "Do people even realize the implications of these ships?"

There are so many morality lectures being given about marriage all the time, but does no one value an actual connection between two people?

I never understand this fixation with labels. There is so much pressure on poor Vivi to always do the right thing, but what about the right thing for herself? Does no one care about that?

There is unfairness toward R and unfairness toward Atharv. Vividha once said, "I will fulfill all relationships. Even if I have to break myself into pieces to do it." Poor girl, she has stuck by her word so diligently. Yet, no one has a breath to waste on the unfairness toward Vivi. So caught up in everything but herself.

P. S: Your praise is overwhelming and just too much.😳 But you know, I'd rather hear your thoughts on the topic. I appreciate all insight, don't ever worry about the words used to express it.

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13thwish

@13thwish

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: _KOMAL
Such a beautiful post!!!

ViTharv are the beautiful ones. They inspire all the words! 😳

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prabharajani

@prabharajani

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

wish how beautifully u hv explained everything, i loved that

A girl when gives her heart and soul to a man, she can share everything coz he is her soulmate, vividha can never share that intimacy with anyone else other than Atharv, but she is to gone into her guilt mode that she had placed it over any thing and everything else

Vividha didn't care for society then, she even told Atharv in order to consummate, she doesnt need any approval or lbel from society, she is just not readynow that bindaas girl is long lost, she fears the society most, her duty comes before her heart

what is the beauty of jndsd phase 1 is itbtouches the heart of audience, it goes through like a beautiful journey where the leads doesn't care abt society, they want to build their own smaller beautiful world

my honest opinion is vividha does not bear the guilt for something which her dad has done, she has to tell suman abt her relationship with atharv, suman may resist but she wil understand, this continuation of marriage doesnt do her any good

vividha has to take a stand, even though she thinks she and atharv are not two but one, she has to give him that strength and support, coz he had done whatever he could do in his capacity for her, there is nothing more left in him, he is hers
vividha has been butchered badly in phase 2,as a vitharv fan i can understand vividha but me too get disappointed sometimes, but to a normal viewer whats going on doesn't make sense as my parents say abt their take on the show

i hope everything comes bk in phase 3

ps i know the difference between sex and marriage, i wld just like to say one thing, even though married, it doesnt give a man license to hv sex with wife when she is against it, anyone who is feeling suffocated in a marriage better take a decision and get a fresh life, coz that wld be best to both of them

Edited by prabharajani - 9 years ago

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@-JC-

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

Appreciate your post always. No comments about this show.

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13thwish

@13thwish

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: whispa
Wish🤗

As always, your post is wonderful and beautifully written. You really have a way with words.

Although this show has nothing to do with HDDCS(thank goodness), that dialogue you quoted could actually be the tagline of this show.

'Marriage is a meeting of souls.'

And for us, ViTharv married a long time ago. Their souls are connected in such a way that they feel each other's happiness and pain. When one hurts, the other hurts too.

ViTharv have given their heart and soul to each other. It may not be a public union, although you could argue that time and again, Vividha has proclaimed that Atharv is her husband, but in private between themselves, they have constantly acknowledged this fact.

Their intimacy in phase one is a testament to the fact that Vividha has given Atharv the right to touch her freely without any guilt or discomfort. Just look at Atharv's birthday flashback. We are shown Atharv leaning in for a kiss but it is not shown. But the implications are there. He completed the kiss and they were physical with each other.

And of course like you said Wish, their naughty talks. How freely did Vividha talk about how hot she found Atharv and how she wanted to consummate with him but just wasn't ready in that moment. She didn't need to marry him for that intimacy.

As for Ravish, he is Vividha's friend. Before, when he was her husband, she wouldn't let him cross a certain line. Forget about touching her, she couldn't even talk to him properly because that marriage label was there. Once that was taken away, Vividha visibly relaxed. When he did touch her, she didn't flinch because he was holding her as a friend, nothing more.

Vividha has made her choice so clear. As far as she is concerned, Atharv is her husband, the only one who has any right on her, who knows her more then she knows herself, the one she can't live without out.

It comes down to a choice between obligation and desire. She is obligated right now to Ravish because of society's label and the situation she is in. But she desires only to be with Atharv.

P.S. What would we do without you here Wish!

Kiddo, you embarrass me with your praise😳

You know, I have often seen people mocking the "mann ka pati" term and I don't understand this mentality at all!

Do people think it is easy for a girl to call a man her husband even BEFORE they are married! Are those words that are casually or randomly used??! And not just once or twice, but so many times, without hesitation or embarrassment, Vivi has proudly stated it. In private, in front of his mother, in front of her family, in front of all society, she has said it! Over n over n over. So, tell me is Vividha's mann important or some stupid paper labels??!

How can there even be any ambiguity about this?😕 A girl is openly saying that I given this man complete spousal right over me. How can you even expect her to change her mind after that? It's crazy to even consider it!

Do you think it is easy for a sheltered, small town girl to tell a man she is attracted to him? That she desires him and wants to be intimate with him? How much courage is required to be so honest and how much confidence in your partner that they will not judge you.

That marriage of equals scene. She was so overwhelmed with respect for him and the kind of man he was that she wanted to touch his feet! The ultimate form of worship. Not because of any rituals or obligations but simply out of love and pride. She saw him as the man worthy of bowing down to.

There is no greater indignity than forced marriage. The humiliation of bartering your own body in a deal! Can you imagine the horror of it? But she did it anyway. Even though her mother gave her the option of backing out.. She promised to stand by Vivi.. But she was not guaranteeing Atharv's safety.. And Vivi didn't want to be safe if her soulmate was not safe.. So she tolerated the violation of an unwanted marriage. She burnt her hand and her soul but she endured.

She even stopped praying for herself. She only prayed for him.

All of this that she is doing now is for him. The taunts. The anger. The guilt. The awkwardness. The pain. Everything she silently suffers. The intensity of their bond may not come across often in this phase (desi TV and its limitations) but it remains the underlying truth. Whether people choose to accept it or not.

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933191

Hibernated

Posted: 9 years ago

Wish, you write so well!

What you have pointed out is so right! Often in the battle between morals what a girl actually wants is overlooked, it is taken for granted that a girl should "adjust" to her family, her husband etc. Even during the forced marriage sequence there were so many posts on how she has ruined Ravish's life by marrying him etc but what Vividha would be going through? What it must feel like to love someone and be forced to marry someone else at the cost of the life of the one man who means everything to her? It gives me goosebumps to even imagine being in her place. May be as viewers we knew that the Vashishts were a harmless family but what about Vividha? She was married to a stranger on the day that she was supposed to get married to the love of her life, but everything turned upside down for her?

Time and again Vividha has made choices that make me really proud of her, be it when she told Atharv that she did not need marriage but wasn't ready for sex yet or when she decided to fast for Atharv despite being married to Ravish.

Just like she couldn't fast for Ravish, she can't be intimate with him the way she was with Atharv. Because she considers Atharv as her husband even without a public union and has been pretty vocal about it, and she refused to consider Ravish as her husband despite being married. Whether it is Mann ka Pati or Pati it is what Vividha wants that matters. It is her body and her feelings and she is the one who has a say in it.

Edited by FortunaMajor - 9 years ago

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sweetygirl28

@sweetygirl28

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

Wish u are a wonderful writer. Always love reading your posts. There is a clarity in your words.

Yes I think the soul connection is more important that legal marriage because how much ever u try u cannot give 100% in a relationship if u don't commit to the relationship.

And vividha here time and again has said she loves atharv and none other than him. That they both are one soul . That if one hurts the other will know too. She could not have been more clear than this. Ravish understood that their love runs deeper. Hence he time and again distances himself from her saying she has to go see atharv. Cozz he cannot risk falling again and again for this girl. She is type of girl any man will fall in love. She has that quotient . And ravish fell for his wife. There is nothing wrong. But we have to consider the lady is not interested. She still loves someone else.

Her protective instincts are on high alert since atharv came back. All she has in mind is she has to protect him. And she does.time and again she has proved it.

And as far the reaction in the hospital is concerned I think it's not possible to show everyone weak. There has to be someone who consoles the other .who gives strength to others.vividha has become that someone. She knows atharv will fight back and come back to her.

I wait to see how their journey continues after he regains his memory

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