Dev Dixit and deep shit

Could I ask someone to elaborate how has Dev landed his wife in any more a difficult situation than he himself is in right now? I am choosing to ignore the spoilers and the precap for now. They don't show the whole story

Ishwari thinks Sonakshi trapped Dev even after knowing her infertility condition. Has she said it to Sonakshi yet? Has Dev let Ishwari say it to his wife?

Last few episodes have shown me character growth in Dev. Possibly because my expectations from a person like Dev given his circumstances were different. He is not the sort of person who will yell back at his mother or in-laws or aunt. He is the sort of person who fixes problems with as little damage to his loved ones as possible and as far as I can tell, in the last one week, he is the one who has been yelled at most - by his mother, by his inlaws, by his wife...

Dev made a mistake. He lied. No two ways about it. It was frustrating to see him not talk to his wife about it. The story makers have confused me atleast as to how long have they been married and especially Sonakshi's dialogue around her being ready to have babies... Were they preventing pregnancy thus far? Because if they had had that discussion and even then Dev said nothing, he did make a mistake. But again, can his wife for one minute stop obsessing over her mother in law and focus on her husband?

In making Dev's character improve, the makers have done the classic error of spoiling Sonakshi's and to some extent Bijoy's character. As much as Bijoy is loud and vocal with Dev, he hadn't yelled at Dev so badly in public ever (even on the engagement day). To keep Ishwari the focal point, they now have Sonakshi focusing on Ishwari.

All Dev said to his wife is that his mother won't take that news easily. They should think this through and then talk to her. He admitted his mistakes. He hasn't ever done that before. He didn't admit his mistakes even during break-up and patch-up. The break-up was about his pain and the patch-up was about Ishwari's approval.

Dev did not say he hid the truth because he wanted to marry Sona. He said he hid the truth because his mother would again be a hindrance to their union. Of course, they needed to sort Ishwari before getting married, but did you guys not see Ishwari's reaction today. If after having her son married and admitting to Sonakshi that she had trouble liking her, Ishwari can do a U-turn, imagine how much she would have emotionally manipulated him if he told everything before the wedding. And he knows with his mother's fragile state and his wife's black & white view of truth and lies, they would never have married. And he makes it very clear - he loves sonakshi for who she is, not for the mother she could have been. He acknowledges the pain she is going through but sonakshi just shut him out (and her reasons were blah!)

Did Dev lie - yes

Should he have told Sonakshi before the wedding - subjective - I think it was so close to the wedding and there was so much drama already - I can see why he didn't.

Should he have told her within a few days of their wedding - yes

Is Dev an unpleasant person - hell no. If Sonakshi can understand his reasons for breakup, she can totally understand why he did what he did this time. This isn't the Dr Bose we know. Makers are messing this track big time. Understanding your husband's point of view doesn't make you a doormat. Trying to manipulate the situation in a harmless manner for a limited amount of time sometimes is needed in a marriage. Doesn't make him a spineless idiot. He wasn't out there shagging women. He was waiting for the right moment to deal with the issues at hand

edit**

If you ask me, the only mistake Dev made here was he took away Sonakshi's right to chose between being in a childless marriage vs remaining a childless spinster.

I think therein lies the next track - Will Sonakshi feel guilty for not giving Dev his offspring or will Devakshi deal with this issue in a modern scientific way?

edit ends**

And Oh my God - If I hear the makers justifying Ishwari one more time, I will be so upset. How is this character not a vamp? Ok, she knows half the truth - why. Why does she know half the truth? Why does she continue to eavesdrop her adult son and his wife? Why didn't she knock that door and immediately confront them? Why does she sway from one point to the other so easily when mamiji makes an appearance? Why can't she see her son and his wife's pain for one second? What a selfish woman.

PS: Mamaji is missing and thank God for that. He would have only confused Dev further. Please keep him out of the scene

Letting the woman pick the pieces is something sadly our society sees so often and as far as I can tell, the story tellers are showing us a mirror here. Will Dev stand up for his wife and be loud and vocal or will be once again breakdown inside and speak in his soft tone - yet to be seen. If I had to predict, well if anyone of us had to predict, it will be the latter

There are no two ways about the fact that Dev lied (pregnancy news) and hid the truth (inhospitable uterus) from his wife. His reasons for lying were silly because as we can see the bonding has already starting falling apart. Which is why while some of us empathised with him, we saw no reason why he had to lie. He played with his wife & families' emotions while he was himself breaking inside. Which is why I ask - Is he in an emotionally better state than his wife - In my opinion he isn't. He himself said Bijoy was right in yelling at him and didn't even attempt to defend himself when Bijoy was speaking to Sona on the phone (and just for the record, Sona made no attempts to defend Dev either. She is so blinded by two things - lies vs. honesty and her MIL's feelings. She can't see the state of her own marriage).

Now his decision to hide a fact from his wife and family. Here, he took away a choice from Miss Bose - Miss Bose may have chosen to not marry and be childless. He is wrong and he comes clean and profusely apologises. However, again, how is he in a better emotional state than his wife?

Till this track, I used to think that Dev is in denial regarding his mother's feelings. However, it's become very clear that he knows everything and knows sonakshi is scared of their separation too. Which is why, from their wedding night itself he has said so many times that they need to be a couple first and then she needs to worry about "their" family. He said it after the Fish Drama, he said it the next morning, he has said it when trying to seduce her, and he asked her to accompany her to the drive to Hrishikesh. He has been very open with his family about his love for her. See, he isn't your loud and vocal hero. But his actions always said that. When Sonakshi said she wanted to make his family their family is when he backed off a bit.

When Sonakshi planned their suhagraat, he knew his mother isn't going to be happy about it. He went along with the lies - right... He craves for his wife to see them both as a unit within his family. Sadly somewhat similar to how he and his mother are a unit within the family.

Dev doesn't want his wife to become Kichu bhaiya part 2 nor does he want his wife to become a vaaris producing machine. He said it loud and clear - Sonakshi you have me and our relationship isn't defined by the infertility issue.

I have personally never understood why infertility is more grieving for the woman than the man. Which is why I don't understand how can no one have any empathy for the man who wants his tiny khargosh hopping around his huge mansion

As for Sonakshi's reasons to have a baby - enough said

TDQ, brilliant post. I have to agree with you, he is in as much of an emotional mess as Sonakshi. If anything yesterday's episode showed growth in their relationship. Their conversation was everything I had hoped for. This absolutely contradictory personalities combined with the expectations they have from themselves for their relationship is their biggest problem and the roadblock to an honest conversation. If not a heart to heart I did see them acknowledge their respective fears and PoVs. So I am hopeful. Have a lot more to say, will come back later with a more detailed response.

Originally posted by: Jade0001

Agree Dev and Sona spoke but the conversation leaded to Ishwari why ?

I'm a little baffled at the moment and maybe I'll get some clarity in upcoming episodes