I feel sorry(article)

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Sudha Chandran (TOI Photo) More pics

In conversation with Sudha Chandran.


You were part of Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa and were eliminated despite high scores... what do think about Rakhi Sawant's outburst after being eliminated from Nach Baliye 3?

I feel she did a very good job in the show. When you put in a lot of sincerity in your performance, you feel cheated and let down. Like I felt when I was out of Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa .

I was not doubting anyone's sincerity, but you do feel all your hardwork has gone down the drain. Your parents have always taught you that hardwork and honesty will pay rich dividends.

But here you wonder you've put in a lot of hardwork, you have people appreciating you so much, yet you are out. It's not doubting the integrity of a channel or production house, but somewhere you feel you have let yourself down. At the end of it though, it makes one more prepared for everything in life.

These sort of sudden ousters make you mentally strong. With Jhalak... I grew as a person in three months, something I hadn't in 22 years that I've spent in the industry!

Rakhi's outburst continues. Now the channel's demanding an apology from her...

It's really sad. I feel sorry for Rakhi. Her dance and the variety they put up was excellent. My heart goes out to her. But I don't think it's right to question a channel. It was an outburst of a dancer who suddenly felt she'd lost everything. I appreciate Rakhi as a person, as a fighter who's struggled hard and created a name for herself.

Will you be part of a reality show again?

I would never want to be judged anymore for my dance. I have become a little mature about it. I've understood the rules of the game. When I started I was raw, I was emotional. I was sentimentally attached to the concept of dance. It's not like I'm saying a no to reality shows. But, yes, I wouldn't want to be part of a dance show that would involve judging, elimination etc.

You lost a lot of weight during the show?

Thanks to my choreographer. He had to lift me and throw me down. I thought he would develop a backache! So I lost weight (laughs).

Was there a lot of pressure on your leg (the artificial limb) during the rigorous Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa schedule?

That's what I was scared of, because you are putting in five to six hours of practice. The stump (the portion attached to the artificial limb) has to be given time to breathe. If you don't, it leads to abrasions and peeling of skin and then you can't attach it for a couple of days. My father and husband were really worried. I was also scared of only that. Dance is never an issue for me. Thank God it all went fine.

You're playing a positive role in a TV serial after a long time...

It's a very nice role in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Today, positive also means shedding tears. But this one's a very dynamic role. I was happy when Ekta offered me the role of ACP Ragini Suryanvanshi. After Jhalak, I was feeling low and then I got this Kyunki offer. I remember, a few years ago, when I was going through an all-time career low, Ekta offered me Kahin Kissi Roz.

You are doing many TV shows at the moment...

Apart from Kyunki, I am doing Kuch Is Tarah. Also an upcoming show Kar Le Sapne Pure. There are two thers on Doordarshan, Kashmakash and Hamari Bahu Tulsi. Two serials down South. Plus a Tamil film and a Hinglish play by Ashwin Gidwani.

Bollywood's missing from your list?

I did Malamaal Weekly where I was pitted opposite eight men. I was a one-woman army there and that was a very interesting role. When you are doing well on TV, unless it's something good you wouldn't want to take it up. Like see what Tisca Chopra did in Taare Zameen Pe. That's what you long to do.