Posted:
Hey everyone!
I am better, still feverish but recoveringš³
Hugs to all those lovely wishes!
I know I am not writing about the episode, but MY GOD Anika was on fire todayš AND the dance, the dance, was adorable! Now onto the post
Did he ever realize what life was like before she entered and broke him out of his gilded glass cage?
Did he remember a time when she did not look at him, talk to him, argue with him, or smile at him?
Did he want to?
He must never have asked himself these questions the answers to which would have seemed so obvious to anyone who knew him.
He needed her to look at him, he needed her to acknowledge his presence, just like he couldn't refuse to acknowledge hers.
What if anyone else understood the language she spoke and amazed and amused him with?
What if she spoke that language with someone else on a regular basis?
What if she went away from his life, happily arguing with someone, anyone, who was not him?
He thought himself to be invulnerable with respect to emotions. Sure, he'd lost control a few times, but what he felt today was a novelty he felt only when she was concerned: An overwhelming fear, that someone else might come and woo her away from him and his life, and the shards of glass that had so pierced his ego and had sliced through his harsh exterior might return to haunt his heart. If she left, who would keep those slivers from bleeding through his skin?
'It's just Anika...' And yet he could not stop repeating her name like the talisman that kept him warm and calm
Then why did he gesture his childhood friend away, as if shooing away unwanted thoughts, little wisps of nightmares that whispered her absence in his life?
When she placed her hand in his friend's, that brief moment seemed to shake him as a blow to the head might. Those dreaded thoughts were replaced by a single one: I hold that hand. I always have.
Unbidden, did he think of all the times he had held her hand? Most recently, when he'd pulled her towards him during the puja, declaring her his wife-to-be?
Tapping her hand with his, he took his friend's hand instead, for having something to do with his own, and for not letting Daksh hold hers again.
It was either that or holding her hand himself, and not letting go ever again.
So he shook, because anything else would lead him to her.
And finally, she was there, his Paanika was in front of him, speaking ordinary words she made her own, her Anika-isms, and he felt a wave of familiarity wash over him and he clutched at it with both hands. This, their argument, their complete involvement in one another, this was something he knew intimately, something that existed in their world only, exclusive to themselves. This was something he wanted with her: to listen to her, to talk to her, to learn from her, maybe even teach her(?), a something that involved just them.
And so he used words that indicated a closer bond, a past, a history that was all about them, an 'Us' that had existed as soon as she entered his life, his house, his head, and his heart; An 'Us' he had no right to dream of, but which had firmly planted itself in his head, an 'us' that would be constantly threatened until something changed, and soon.
That's it guys!
I hope this was worth the more-than-jealousy feelings we saw today!
Love
Geet
Cricket
Bigg Boss 19
