Posted:
Bulleya -2
A/N- Guys idk kya bakwas likhi h. Pls leave ur replies. I was encouraged by #Mayank_Kumar_Mishra to continue it.
His car slowly vanished in the darkness, the way his love had vanished in the same. He like kryptonite took her powers. Her strength to live without him this single short meeting made it tough for them to stay away. She was again and again getting over powered by her emotions today. Her knees felt week more and more as more and more the space b/w them was widening. Unwillingly tears were rolling out of her eyes, leaving their marks on her cheeks like his love left on her heart it's traces, like her cheeks felt burning when a drop left it similarly her heart felt burning when his love for her seems to fade away.
She slowly sat on the ground. Her dinner still in her hands. She couldn't hold on for her emotions anymore. Her throat was chocked up as if feeling from her heart have mixed in her blood and now searching a way out. She let a sob out and all she could wispher was - " Sanskaar"... She couldn't tell when this single sob and few tears turned into a bitter crying.She was lost in her memories with him,as and when her mind played those moments her lips curled into a smile while the reality only stabbed her, killed her more.
She was letting herself flow with her feelings when he heard a sound. She lifted her red swollen eyes n sensed him. He was standing there infront of her, surely light stains on his clothes suggested he climbed the pipe to reach the terrace. She got up n as her blur vision cleared she could see him. His eyes had pain, his cheeks had tear marks whose droplets wee stuck in his beard. Controlling her tears, clearing her throat " Sanskaar" is the only word that escaped her mouth in the music of his wet broken voice. Alas it was a tragic note that moved the ailing strings of the harness of his feelings, playing the only hym of her love even when hate and ego has suppressed it's music.
He moved close in sat in front of her. Bound with old habbits he held his handkerchief ready to absorb her tears Alas this time the beautiful action of this love was limited n held in b/w, perhaps because this love is in a prison called ego. They got up. This incompleteness hammered the cage of her ego loosening the lock of anger that halted her love. Unfortunately his love was still a prisoner, he widrew his handkerchief and then began to move down using the staircase. He was regretting his actions. His feelings overpowered his wisdom. He showed that he still loved her. He became helpless. But can hate within him let him show his love. Covering up his feelings under the blanket of hate he ignored the bitter sobs of his heart. He was trying to escape her as well as his feelings.
She wanted to stop him for once. She wanted the moment to freeze for once. But he couldn't afford to loose himself once again in her love and hence he was running. A failed incomplete attempt of impossible escape. She run behind him. She had already selendered before her love, she had already dropped her rage.
Sw- Sanskaar pls just a minute.
She pleaded him as she followed him down the stairs. But seem unaffected by her words he furiously descended the stairs when his steps frooze at her horrifying scream. "Aahh... Sanskaaarrr... "
Her shoes slipped her dinner was already on the fatal stairs and she hung in b/w his arms. He her Savior. She slowly opened her eyes when could feel herself still breathing. She looked down and then at him. Her hand srushed his shirt.
Sw- (scared) Sa.. Sanskaar pls don't leave me.
She tried getting her breath when he gazed intensely in her eyes and in low yet hard tone said
Sa- Agar tum kehti toh bhi iss waqat toh tumhe kabhi nahi chodta.
She couldn't catch her breath fully when she frooze again under his gazed he carefully adjusted her and lifted his hand drenched in his own blood. His hand that crashed over broken crockery and smashed food. He slowly made her stand and tried to get up but sadly she had sprained her her leg and fell again.
Sw- aahh...
She shouted and the next moment she was back in the same position. He held her waist again and his hand again landed on the plate and his cut deepened. He coudnt help but locked his eyes with her. The loud noises brought the whole badi out.
Shekhar- swara, sanskaar ..
Shekhar's voice brought them back to the reality. All were about to rush to them when sanskaar held her by one hand n raised his injured hand to halt them.T he would was deep and it worried all the people around. He stood up, scooped her in his arms and slowly walked down to her room.
Her eyes had turned red as she tried to hold back tears.
Sw- Sanskaar.
But he turned again when she gripped his wrist, she held his hand n took out the deep inserted glass. He closed his eyes due to pain . Her tears could not be stopped. He turned to see her, she was making him weak again. He jerked her hand and spoke for the first time.
Sa- swara let be, I will do it for myself.
He spoke it like robot, there were no emotions yet it felt soothing to her ears.
Sw- par Sanskaar (softly) dekho Na it's a deep cut pls just a minute.
He lifted his hand and glanced his cut, he smiled painfully. He took out his handkerchief and tried to cover his cut, she managed to stand up somehow and then held his hand. She tried the handkerchief properly.
HE jerked her and withdrew his hand.
Sa- (painful breaking voice)- swara don't worry I have deeper wounds in my heart.
He the next moment flew away , leaving her all in tears and heartbroken. She tried walking behind requesting him but her injury hurdled that as well
Ragini made her sit, and bandaged her wounds.
R- swara for how long will u both bear pain. I don't know when will laksh come back, will he come back or not but atleast u be with sanskaar. He needs u, u are punishing him and urself for the crimes u both are not responsible for.
Sw- no Ragini...
R- (cuts) enough swara. It had been enough. There are other relationships in ur life than me as well. Think about them as well u can't leave everything for me, especially sanskaar. He have loved u more than me, he still loves u, go back to him. Swara my problems should not decide the future of ur and Sanskaar's relationship. U don't deserve this, he don't deserve this ur love don't deserve this. Got it. Ur love was different swara, sanskaar had stayed back with u in ur goods and bads. Go swara, he needs u, he is guilty u know he is bearing so much of pain and guilt and U r not besides him in his dark days. He needs light he needs love. He needs u to be on his side. There is so much in him, he needs to cry. And trust me swara only u can do that. Only u can take him out of his dark shell like u did earlier.
Ragini spoke true and correct words this time. They were like a ray of love penetrating through the coulds of haterate surrounding her heart and rejoicing that deep burried love in her heart. Swara was unfortunately in the thick layer of her misconceptions.
He drove back home. He felt pain today more than ever before. He reached home his mom waited for him to have dinner. She got panicked seeing his injured hand. Uttara came running and did first aid. Sujata was continuously scolding him and feeding him the dinner. He stayed silent. Today his heart had suffered a fatal attack of emotions. He soon departed to his room like a lifeless body. He sat on the floor grabbed her photo. He clutched it close to his heart. No matter how hard he try he Can't see a single tear in her eyes, but today the situation was worst he was the cause of her grief. He hated himself for being that, he felt pained for being a cause of her pain. He cried his heart out but the pain was too intense to lighten soon. He used acohol but in vain, this time it couldn't even numb his pain. He grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills and had almost a high dangerous dose to sleep. He soon slept .His hand was still wriggling due to deep cuts but his heart was weltering in the pain of separation from his love. His eyes still shed tears even when he was asleep. His lips only whispered her name.
Sa- swara... I love you... C-o-m-e.. back.. I.. I.. I... Will D-I-E...
Days , weeks and months passed. His cuts on his hand were healed but those on his heart were still afresh. Among the chaos. They found Laksh. It had been a long exhausting journey, he finally recognised Ragini. Again that was a struggle. Clearing all the confusions finally today with moisture in eyes Laksh was filling Ragini's partion with vermilion. He tied her mangalsutra around her neck.
Among this happiness the two families now staired at the next couple. Swara her eyes showed content and gratitude towards him for bringing back happiness in her sister's life. His eyes were emotionless. He was broken or rather dead from inside. She was holding her mangalsutra and vermilion in her hand, in a hope that she can now wear them again. All turned to sanskaar but he stayed still like a statue. Finding all the glares at him, he Removed his shoes took the vermilion and mangalsutra from her hands. Shockingly for all present spectators he kept it back on the rack infront of the idol of Krishna. He joined his hands and turned to her. He held her hand and looking at her pams he could only wispher heartbreaking words.
Sa- I .. I am sorry swara. ...
She looked at his face as her vision began to blur and heart felt heavy.
He continued..
Sa- I just cannot risk it again. I cannot risk accepting that u love me again (he looked up into her eyes. His eyes were shit red as he held back tears) perhaps I am dead. (He paused for a fraction and then in a broken chocked voice ) perhaps I had forced u to accept my love, our relationship and me h na.
Swara felt numb. She nodded in a no. But sanskaar still continued he couldn't actually control his emotions and his tears.
Sa- nahi nahi nahi.. swara don't say no. I will Love U all my life and I know u have been somewhere forced otherwise u wouldn't have left. So.. so. Now I want to say - MOVE On. Move on. U don't need to love me when u r forced. And me .. I ... I will keep loving you, keep waiting for you till my last breath. (He couldn't speak a word more yet continued with difficulty) And once again perhaps for the last time... I.. I love u swara.
With that he pecked her pams they were getting wet in his tears. He left her hand and turned, his cheeks were stained with tears. He started to leave when she griped his wrist.
Sw- (broken voice ) Sans.. k-a-a-r.. pls..
But he turned to her, freed his hand and left.
Leaving behind a broken shattered numb swara. Sharmishta held her hand, Ragini was already by her side when sanskaar left.
Ram- swara don't worry I will talk to him.
Dad consoled her, followed by badi Maa and bade Papa.
She nodded but somewhere today he stabbed her brutally. He killed her. He rejected that she ever loved him. It broke her deep within. She tried to stay strong but couldn't. She tried to stand but couldn't, her body felt weak,she lost her balance and her conscious as well.
R- Swara...
A month passed, he lived like a dead body . His emotions were dead. She was getting weaker , her health deteriorated in his wait. Her smile was vanished. Her face was pale. Eyes were swollen and red.
Today was again going to be a tough day. A function at Maheshwari Mansion whose managing was given to swara. This was again a chance they both will definately had to confront eachother. The fact made her happy, sad and nervous at the same time. Nikhil was Cheering her up. He helped her choose a black gown with a deep back.
Nikhil- Swara yeh pehnogi Na toh pakka sanskaar ka wicket down ho jayega.
Sw- Nikhil should I wmeven go.
Nikhil-. Oh Madam if u won't go how will function be conducted and how will ur Mr Kahdoos Maheshwari get blown away by ur looks. Hmm challo get ready.
She walked down the stairs of Maheshwari Mansion. As Nikhil suggested Mr Sanskaar Maheshwari was blown away. He was again in a painful state he loved this girl. He wanted to say it once again loud bit didn't know how. Nikhil walked down n his steps directly moved to Uttara, he smiled as he saw Sanskaar distracted from his sister. He didn't wish to have a verbal fight with him for flirting with his sister.
Swara walked down her hair were tied in a bun. She looked heavenly. Her eyes showed her pain yet again she was angry at him. He had insulted her love but no this time she wanted to beat him slap him and hug him at the same time. He felt his heart screaming to hum to confess her beauty was inviting his confession he for once wanted to hold her hand and say I love you. He wanted to shout his feelings to this world and her but how was the question.
His eyes fell on the grand orchestra and the piano. He moved there.
(Instrumental Music Begins)
She turned like all present in the hall to the Paino and the huge orchestra all she could see was him. His back faced her and the spectators. His fingers danced on the white n black keys of his instrument. Blue spot light was showering it's color on his Carbon suit. Her eyes, began to form a slight moisture and throat began to slowly chock with her feelings
He lifted his face a little and then again gazed at the musical keys. He took a deep breath, straighten his spine and gave words to his feelings.
(tu safar mera, hai tu hi meri manzil
tere bina guzara, ae dil hai mushkil
tu mera khuda, tu hi duaa mein shaamil
tere bina guzara, ae dil hai mushkil)
He did an open confession, His life began from her and ended on her. Every second passing sans her is hard, is long, it kills. He have worshiped his love for her, if ever he had wished about anything was her. Perhaps he couldn't bear any scratches on the delicate mirror of his feelings. He didn't allow anyone to manhandle his love for her, no one even if it is her he won't allow neither forgive anyone who does that.
(mujhe aazmaati hai teri kami
meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
junoon hai mera, banoon main tere kaabil
tere bina guzaara, ae dil hai mushkil)
He himself have distant his soul from her, but how can he neglect the space b/w them kills him every second. There is a big huge hole in him, a blank space which needs her. He could do anything cross any limit for being eligible enough for her to come there and fill the space with her presence. Her presence was a candle in the dark room of his heart.
Every second spent by his soul in this darkness was frightening his soul. Her presence was mandatory for its healing...
(Instrumental music)
As the orchestra in its own beautiful way repeated his words he stood up and turned to her. They both were swimming deep into the pool of feelings of their heart perfectly reflected by their eyes. H could feel her pain. It filled his eyes with tears of pain. Somewhere he was deeply hurt yet love could never die. With pain in his eyes he continued and more than his voice his heart and soul were in pain.
(ye rooh bhi meri, ye jism bhi mera
utna mera nahi, jitna hua tera
tune diya hai jo, wo dard hi sahi
tujhse mila hai to, inaam hai mera)
He slowly walked through the crowd his eyes fixed on her. His soul reacted to her pain as if it was never his, as if it was there in him for her. He had to yet dissolve in him the fatal venom of separation in him. His eyes only questioned her y.
She couldn't stand or answer his questions. She looked down. She knew she had hammered and scattered his feelings and his heart. Which still floundered for her, difference is now the love painfully oozes out, killing him each second.
(mera aasmaan DhoonDhe teri zameen
meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
zameen pe na sahi, to aasmaan mein aa mil
tere bina guzara, ae dil hai mushkil)
He slowly walked and stood in the center, under the Chandelier. One hand in his pocket he again spoke in his aching voice. She completed her. He needs her. It was a fact as true as the rise and set of sun.
He desperately waited for her to be with him. Be in him but not without her wish. No matter if the wait for her kills him but their union will be always with her equal wish and will.
He turned to her again. She was looking down. He moved to her n slowly touched her back, she shivered with his touch and found him besides her. Accusing her once again.
(Instrumental music)
He moved forward as the orchestra played it's role. His fingers crawled on her bare back and sliped down to hold her delicate fingers. She was shivering and melting under his touch. She closed her eyes, they held back her tears. He pulled her close and snaked his arm around her waist. Her hand rested on his shoulder. Their steps mached the beats. Dancing they reloved in a short circle along the floral pattern on the flooring under the Chandelier. Her held her hand she rolved around her position, and the next moment he held her waist. She was leaning in his arms. He was dangerously bent over her. They could listen eachother's heartbeats.
(maana ki teri maujoodgi se
ye zindagani mehroom hai
jeene ka koi dooja tareeka
na mere dil ko maaloom hai)
He without moving an inch gazed into her eyes. She was guilty and hurt at the same time she broke his heart and he had mixed emotions. He had equally hurted her he knew. Their eyes showed pain. He Continued to spill his painful music. This closeness was bliss, she was his life, the only way he knew to live.
After she left, he was dead. He had died every moment without her. He had died a 1000 deaths till today.
(tujhko main kitni shiddat se chaahoon
chaahe to rehna tu bekhabar
mohtaaz manzil ka to nahi hai
ye ek tarfa mera safar..)
Tears blured his vision. His finger slowly crawled on her spine, she was feeling the heat if the moment. He made her stand. He held her hand n sat on his knees as He continued. He had Not just loved her, he had worshiped his love for her. Alas it seemed she never knew it dept of his love. He never expected her to know it.
She couldn't meet his eyes, she turned her back and moved forward leaving him alone under the Chandelier.
He smiled, this was his love for her, it wasn't bounded by her acception, her reciprocation. He could love her even if she hated him.
She had closed her eyes. Tears still escaped. The gathering the people had faded away for them it seems they both were alone in the room. He got up and glued his feet on the floor. He rubbed his fingers with his thumb as if he was extracting her fragrance.
(safar khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi
meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi..
adhoora hoke bhi, hai ishq mera kaamil
tere bina guzaara, ae dil hai mushkil)
He started moving back. Standing on the stair case he sang the last lines. He loved his journey, be it one sided or when she accepted his love. His love was the mist beautiful thing he had. He stopped rubbing his finger n inserted his hand in his pocket.
She turned to look at him as he sang further. His love was complete even if she was there or not. He had enough love for both of them weather she loved him or not.
He with a huge pain in his heart lastly, once again in the end said his heart out, showed his pain..."tere bina guzaara, ae dil hai mushkil"
A tear drop escaping her eye kissed the flooring.
(Instrumental music)
The orchestra once again palyed without his voice. He turned n without even glancing once at her left. She ran behind.
He walked out. He got too weak to face anyone. He ran on the road tears were following from his eyes. She followed him. There was a cold chilling wind blowing on the empty dark roads. Could were drizzling.
She was chocked but for once more she wanted to exchange words with him.
She shouted.
Sw- Sanskaar...
But he didn't stop and hearing her voice he fasten his speed. She was almost running behind him but he seems to be in no mood to halt.
Filled up with emotions she shouted once again.
Sw- u were worong sanskaar.
Fortunately, the words effected him he halted and turned to him. His face was stiff. She with frowned eye brows moved close to him.
Sw- u were wrong. Our love isn't one sided .I love u Sanskaar. Yes I do.
Sa- No swara u don't. Think again perhaps ur feelings are just a misconception.
It triggered her rage this time. He had been continuously insulting her feelings. The next moment she slapped him hard on his cheek.
Sw- MY LOVE IS NO MIS CONCEPTION. Mr. Maheshwari. N dare u insult that. Like u couldn't handle scratches to ur feelings so can't I.
Sa- swara u will kill me go away. I am scared of having u again. No one knows when my beautiful dreams turn into harsh nightmares. No one knows for what reason will u leave me again.
Sw- I am sorry Sanskaar. Pls maaf kar do mujhe. I.. I .. I will die without u.
Sa- swara I am already dead.
Saying this he started moving again.
She continued to run behind call him he didn't speak a word or spare a glance.
She was crying. Her throat was chocked. He hurriedly moved away. She sat on the middle of the road and cried. She shouted only his name.
Sw- Sanskaar... . I am sorry...
She breathed heavily. Her couldn't help but tears fell out of his eyes. She was drenched , she shivered in the cold winds all alone on the roads. She sat on her knees like a lifeless body.
He couldn't hear her voice. He was relaxed fit a moment and panicked the next. He ran back to see her.
He felt relaxed. She was safe. He stood glued to his place untill he heard the sound of power horn. A huge big truck was approaching her. She lifted her eyes and saw the truck but didn't move an inch instead she smiled. Perhaps death was better than staying away from him.
She closed her eyes all set to embrace death. When she felt felt a tight pull. She rolled along a masculine frame.
Her eyes were still closed, and then lips curled into a smile when she heard him.
Sa- PAGAL HO...
He shouted. She was all crushed under him.
He made her sit and sat by her side on the grass. Checked her hands, her elbow was bleeding. He with tears and Pain in his eyes and heart, he tied his handkerchief.
Sa- (raged) PAGAL HO... Han ABHI Kuch ho jata toh... Bolo Na..
He shaked her from her shoulders.
Sw- (wet broken voice ) kya karti mein. U were not ready to accept me back, u were not with me so it's better I die.
He couldn't hold anymore, he pulled her in bone crushing hug. He broke down n so did she.
Sw- I am sorry sanskaar.
But he couldn't respond, he just pulled her closer and caressed her hair. He pecked her hair.
She clutched his coat tighter.
They stayed there no one's knows for how long. They parted the hug. He saw her swollen eyes. He pecked her eyes then nose then cheeks and then her forehead. Their eyes met. There was love, guilt , pain, happiness and desire. He started at her eyes, she slowly streched herself to reach his lips. H sensing her actions bent down. Their lips met, he sucked her lower lip and then upper lip. The weather was cold, the drizzling made it cooler yet their was a great heat at the moment. Swara and Sanskaar both were drowning in their desires for eachother. The soft kiss was now passionate. Their salivas mixed. She intervened her fingers in his hair. His one arm snaked around her waist and the other hand cupped her face. She pulled him closer, they deepened the kiss.
They weren't on this earth. It hardly mattered if they were on the middle of the road, they were lost and all burnt in the heat of the moment.
"OH.. SHIT... " They heard a loud scream, this caused them to pull out of the kiss.
To their embarrassment Ragini Laksh Sujata Nikhil and Uttara just came out of their cars. They turned red. Sanskaar observed carefully. Laksh was looking at them in a shock. His hands were on sujata and Ragini's eyes. Ahh.. to his dismay Nikhil had pulled Uttara in his embrace. Her eyes were closed and face hidden in his chest.
Luckily for Nikhil sujata distracted him.
Su- Sanskaar... Swara ho Gaya tumhara toh mein ankhen khol loon.
Sa- mom
All these intruders were laughing at them
Su- ab hogaya challen. I think they urgently need a room.
Swasan exchanged embarrassed glances. They had turned red as tomato. He held her hand they slowly slowly walked to the SUV.
This was once again they were united. Their love overpowered all the haterate, rage, ego. They sat in the car. She kept her head on his shoulder. No words were exchanged only they felt love around.
The end...
Vm link
All things Korean
Current Affairs
