My take on Neha and Ranvir

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sappushivu

@sappushivu

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Posted: 9 years ago

We have dissected Neha's character a lot many times in the forum...some find her wrong..however some support her ,blaming her past for the way she is today..Now keeping aside her past, if we just assume her to be just like one of us, is she right or wrong?

In my opinion, i thnk many girls in her place wld have behaved in a similar way ..at some point of time If not so soon.I believe, marriage involves lot of compromises and adjustments , not just from the girls side but equally from the guys side too. Ranvir , we have seen the kind of house he lives in, and still he decides to propose a girl from a big house, a girl who is used to the luxuries. Doesnt he have any responsibility to make sure she is happy with him wen he was the one who initiated the relation.People may argue that when there is love , you don need anything else.. but thats jus in fairy tales. You don need luxuries but for a person who has lived a such a life, it becomes a neccessity .So in case you u cannot provide all those luxuries , you sure can make up for them in many other ways.In todays episode, Neha mentioned abt how he knew she loves pani puris and took her often to have it..in the initial days of marriage..that small gesture meant so much to her...and its in these small surprises and gestures lies true happiness..the moment u stop making them, is the time wen all the other shortcomings begin coming to the forefront , which otherwise wldnt have been an issue.

We saw how Neha was tryin to adjust at his home in the initial days, she cdlnt even spend the first night alone wth him in the room.The fan wasnt wrking the next day , they had to share a common bathroom.These r common issues some women have to face but u still adjust as long as you have a partner who loves u and cherishes you.But what happens wen the partner get so busy in fulfilling the responsibilities of the family? Thats wen the absence of these necessities begin buggin u ..It wldnt have been easy for a girl to adjust in a place like that though she did try.

But the question is did "HE" try? Did he make any changes for her ...except for tkin up the new job which might have improved his finances but he never made any changes at his house .Even a small effort from his end wld have satified her instead he got angry with her the veey next day of wedding when she was tryin hrd to adjust.

I remember wen my inlaws came to see me for the "ladki dekhne " rasam, they did mention many times that their house isnt as big as ours..they cross checked many times if i cld adjust there..even my fiance asked me if i cld adjust in a smaller house..However, before marriage, they made every effort to see that i cld settle well at their place.put up additonal wardrobes in my room, put up an AC .Honestly, the size of the house din matter much coz i noticed their efforts, however small they are and though now i stay abroad wth my husband, over the years , he renovated the whole house and increased the number of rooms and got attached bathrooms. Its not coz i asked him to do any of this, He did it coz he sensed it. He thought he needed to see that i am as comfortable at his house as i was at mine and my family cld relax knowing i am comfortable at his house. I agree finances play an important part , but a small effort at a time wld have made a big differance. We did not see Rnvir change a single thng at his home to make it more comfortable to her though he had promised that that he wll set things straight soon.

So honestly, i don blame Neha, though she was impulsive and took brash decisions.She did have certain expectations from Ranvir which he never tried to fulfil or even understand.For a guy who din even have the finances to even buy a sperate wardrobe for his wife or tke her on even a small trip, i don thnk he had the right to bring her into his life unless he was sure he cld do somethin for her...

I want Neha and Ranvir to get back tog but don want just Neha to compromise and adjust.I want Ranvir to make equal efforts to make her comfortable. A little effort frm both of them cld work wonders.

This is purely my POV :)

Edited by sappushivu - 9 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

👏 Glad that you made a post...

I am not too much happy with the way Neha's character is presented here and not biased with the way her past has been projected for her present behavior... I agree... What's the effort Ranveer is taking in all this... In fact Neha was shown to be trying initially... It had started when Ranveer decided to give up on the flat to compensate the expense for his mother's eye surgery...

And yeah, if Neha was asked about it, she sure would have supported his decision... The only problem I see here is the way Neha insisting on Ranveer taking a loan from Dev to fix the flat issue... And the way she's shown to be demanding material things at the cost of anything...

Is she not giving Ranveer the time to fix things on his own? Or is she worried that he will not try at all?! Had he given the assurance and shown the efforts to gain her trust?! Or is she just adamant on getting what she wanted in whatever terms she claims it to have it??!!

This is where I would want Ishwari to pitch in instead of just crying over her daughter's spoilt life... May be Neha can find a better life in future... But are they gonna help her in finding it or make her covered up with chocolates for her tantrums?! If she is gonna get into a new marital life, if at all she is interested, then if she comes back cribbing about lack of love in that house?!! If she is gonna continue her shopping life in the Dixits', if that's what her interest is, then if she continues to complaint about lack of attention in her own house?!!

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sappushivu

@sappushivu

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Posted: 9 years ago

@push pull: Some very valid points made there. In my post i had mentioned a line that its when u notice no efforts from your partner or dont get the attention , that u begin cribbing abt even the other minor issues that were dormant until then. I thnk Neha demanding Ranvir to be like Dev or fullfill all her wishes like Dev does is jus her way of showing her anger towards Ranvir to prove that he din even make an effort.I don think we saw her cribbing abt these issues soon after marriage.. She was exited abt the movie dates..the pani puri dates made her happy enough..hmmm when we are upset with a person over a small issue , we tend to thnk abt all the past mistkes the person did which was burried deep down inside her hearts and vent it all out when those mistkes wernt even the reason u got angry in the first place.Thats exactly whats happening with Neha..all she wants is some attention and efforts from him, all she wants is to realise that its not jus her but him too who is tryin to change or adjust.But Ranvir is all the time stuck up with his self respect mantra. He thnks that moving ahead in life and earning sone gud money is against self respect.. he keeps saying he and his family is happy with his earnings..but why isnt he concerned for his wifes happines..he and his family were used to this life..she wasnt..so what is wrong in trying to fullfil certain desires to make his partner happy? I agree, he shldnt accept money or flat from Dev.But there is nothing wrong in being ambitious. Nothing wrong in trying to imrpove your standard of living...he just doesnt seem to even want to go there..he expects Neha to adjust to his family and him jus like they are ..without any expectations..but what abt her? If that was the case, he shld have married someone iof his own status..

Abt Ishwari, the less said the better. She is just scared of talkin to neha coz each time she does..she is made to feel guiltly..she is made to realise that she made mistkes..she is made to realise that she is nt a perfect mother...and thats exactly wat Ishwari never wants to hear...

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Jyoti Thakur

@JyotiBThakur

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+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Frankly speaking, Neha is true to her character. She was always like this. A bit like Dev in making impulsive decisions and her decision to file for a divorce was in impulse.

Now coming to Ranveer, i don't think he didn't try. For Neha, he accepted the Job where Dev recommended his name. He was ready to buy a rented apartment for Neha too. But his mother's health was the priority for him. It was not that he didn't want to live separately. Though initially he was reluctant, he agreed for Neha's sake.

It's not that he'll not buy a separate apartment. He will. But it needs time and Neha is not ready to give him the time here. Nothing happens overnight. Patience is needed.

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sappushivu

@sappushivu

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Posted: 9 years ago

you are right jyo but and i never made any point about living separately..i don even thing its right on her part to ask him to move away from his family ..and infact Neha initially even hesitated living separately coz she felt his family might think she separated them. its only after his family showed that they have no issues and wld b happy if they move, that she started dreaming abt the new apt..Why is that change can be made only by moving away. What about improving the conditions in your own house?? Those wldnt have been as expensive as tkin an apartment...we have seen scenes where Neha was uncomfortable due to the heat..we have seen scenes where their bhabhi comes to their room at night coz she shares a wardrobe with them..however, did we see any scene where Ranvir brings home an AC for their room, a scene where he brings in another wardrobe..these are the small efforts he cld have tken..Neha keeps mentioning he din do anything for her. i think any girl in Nehas place wld expect her husband to tke care of her small needs...yes she is impulsive as i mentioned in my post too..but she wldnt have been if Ranvir had taken care of atleast these small needs of his wife..!

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Jyoti Thakur

@JyotiBThakur

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+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: sappushivu
you are right jyo but and i never made any point about living separately..i don even thing its right on her part to ask him to move away from his family ..and infact Neha initially even hesitated living separately coz she felt his family might think she separated them. its only after his family showed that they have no issues and wld b happy if they move, that she started dreaming abt the new apt..Why is that change can be made only by moving away. What about improving the conditions in your own house?? Those wldnt have been as expensive as tkin an apartment...we have seen scenes where Neha was uncomfortable due to the heat..we have seen scenes where their bhabhi comes to their room at night coz she shares a wardrobe with them..however, did we see any scene where Ranvir brings home an AC for their room, a scene where he brings in another wardrobe..these are the small efforts he cld have tken..Neha keeps mentioning he din do anything for her. i think any girl in Nehas place wld expect her husband to tke care of her small needs...yes she is impulsive as i mentioned in my post too..but she wldnt have been if Ranvir had taken care of atleast these small needs of his wife..!

No no dear. M not saying you made a point about living separately. I was just putting forward my POV on Neha-Ranveer issue. And i agree, Ranveer can atleast make small gestures for Neha, the way he used to do earlier. They actually need to sit together and sort out their problems.😊

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WeRockTheWorld

@WeRockTheWorld

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

I dont think for Neha its abt money and luxury...she wants to be pampered , loved and cared. I know she keeps arguing saying that its abt materialistic needs...but thats a diversion...because for her love and attention was always thru materials ( from her brother, Dev knows to show love and care thru showering things that she likes) If Ranveer had spent some time and effort to understand her and was a lil compassionate with her ..this would never have happened.

She hates her mom because she feels that her part of affection was given to her big brother...and Since Nikki and Riya was small they got pampered. What she needs is loads of love and affection. If someone can give that I am sure she will be fine...and she will be willing to adjust too.

Her statement when she was eating Golgappa clearly showed her state of mind...She loves him ...sadly he is so busy trying to fix his family problem that she is not getting enough of him.

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@NBT-BV

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

The irony is most of the people either live in past or in future and don't know what they want in life. Make the best use of present and whatever is available instead of cribbing about what is not there.

Naha is thinking about the golgappa and feeling sad bcoz ranveer is not there.

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

Good point... Ranvir and his family made efforts that were in their resources. Things went pear shaped when his mother had to have a surgery which meant that the down payment for the flat had to be revoked.

If you recall, Ranvir brought her earrings and it was Ishwari who asked him not to go beyond his means...

Neha doesnt only wants to see efforts, she wants Ranvir to be 'ameer'. This is exactly what Neha had demanded Dev to do - Her words were something to this effect - "If you make Ranvir rich, I will forgive you for your past mistakes". I dont think she wants ranvir to stop caring for his family. Her frustration stems from the slow progress and the lack of progress on Ranvir/his family's part. She wants them to move to a bigger house ASAP

Ranvir's bhabhi gave Neha-RV her room for their first night. That room where they slept wasnt Neha's room. It was the only room in that house.. I recall it even had the kids' stuff. RV's bro was there for only a week and his bhabhi and bro could have chosen to spend that week in the room. But they gave the room to RV-Neha..

Neha is missing the point here. They are doing what they can. They served those special biscuits for Dev. They had a special fan for Neha... they cant do more than that

His bhabhi treats Neha as a peer... Not as an outsider

Many girls marry into lower income families. There were so many red flags in this instance, however, Ishwari asked Dev to stay out of this... She quite rightly pointed out that Ranvir wont take any favours (just like Dev didnt from Mr Gujral). What went terribly wrong is , that no one showed Neha in black and white what a drastic change she will have to go through. Dev was too busy romancing with his girlfriend. He tried the only way he knows - throw money at RV.. It didnt work and he stepped back when asked to. Ishwari had some nice heart-to-hearts with Neha but they were still not as crystal clear.

I think the only person who was speaking up was GKB. But her language is so harsh, even when she speaks sense, its ignored. Neha was living a fantasy life.

Like you said, Love doesnt sort all problems. When you are in love, you work together to sort them. Rv & Neha had no such plans. RV just expected Neha to get on with it. He and his family tried their best but it wasnt good enough for Neha. Neha expected RV to have that desire to become rich. But like RV said, he isnt Dev.. He doesnt live for money

When such stark backgrounds come together and things work out.. one of two things happen. Either the girl's family gives her gifts to keep her comfortable or the girl isnt allowed by her husband to take any gifts and they make do with what they have. Personally for me, the first option isnt a problem at all. Neha has every right on the profits of Ishwari Communications. Why cant she have the money and spend it on herself. But Neha never discussed this with Ranvir before they got married. In fact, I doubt they have even discussed the no-kids condition even.

And that is what would be interesting to watch now. Will Ranvir accept that Neha has every right on gifts... Its not like Dev is asking Ranvir to suddenly start wearing Armani suits... Neha wants comforts... What she wants will never end. But highly likely, she isnt asking Ranvir to accept anything. She is asking things for herself. She wont mind if RV keeps his mediocre (according to her) job

Edited by thedramaqueen - 9 years ago

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

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Posted: 9 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: NBT-BV
The irony is most of the people either live in past or in future and don't know what they want in life. Make the best use of present and whatever is available instead of cribbing about what is not there.
Naha is thinking about the golgappa and feeling sad bcoz ranveer is not there.

And when she's with Ranveer she's thinking about the luxury in the Dixits' and feeling sad because the luxury is not there.. 😉

Not being in the moment but being at two places.. 😃