SwaSan ~ Jealousy ~

a feeling of not being certain about something, especially about how good or true it is ..

*****

I think this quote perfectly captures what Sanskar feels at this moment. His dialogues yesterday were so on point.

"Kabi app kisi ko toot kar chatay ho aur woh app ko toh deta hain rishtay say or him mat say"

He loved her unconditionally and so intensely that when she walked away those very feelings shattered his heart. How many times was he therefore for her? He left the comfort of his home saved her both literally and figuratively. He showered her with so much love. He encouraged all her hair brained schemes. I get now why he said all those things that day. He warned her that their relationship would end after she refuse to give him a chance that day. I think somewhere he was hoping against hope that she will stay but when she didn't his resolve broke. Swara didn't even realize the implications of what she did that day. For her nothing has changed she claims to love him but for him everything has. To leave a man so callously for such an insignificant thing is wrong on so many levels. Especially if it's a man like Sanskar who supported her when everyone refused to believe her. He didn't owe Swara anything but time and time again he put his life on the line. I think in return he just wanted to be loved. He just wanted to be prioritised. That man has spent sleepless,nights in a room where he made countless memories with her. To see her laughing with Nikhil hurts because it reminds Sanskar of the love they lost. The basis,of the Swasan relationship was their beautiful friendship. I think he sort of sees that friendship reflected in Swara's banter with Nikhil. That is what disgusts him because somewhere both Swara and Sanskar are holding on too their beautiful moments in the past. He is so deeply hurt and blinded by his anger that he doesn't even think about asking Swara his Swara to marry someone else. This very thing should raise alarm bells in Swara's mind because it shows the extent of the pain she caused him. He is loosing faith in love which is a dangerous thing. Swara is confused as to why she has to prove her love but in love sometimes you need to explicitly state certain things. She needs to both verbally and nonverbally prove her love to him. She needs to tell him that he is it for her. That she will always love him believe me sometimes you need to say these things so people believe them. Swara is the only one who can restore his faith in love. I think both of them are at fault because they let go of their friendship. In the,process of being married they forgot they were good friends. Friends who could understand eachother's silence and read each other's eyes. Now they are so distant that they both don't realize the meaning behind the words they utter to eachother. They need to fix this communication gap with eachother. Swara,needs to talk to him and only him alone no maa baba or Ragini she needs to tell him that she values this relationship as much as he does. Truth is there is no thing as unconditional love. We are humans we will always want something no matter how hard we try we will always,expect things from the other person. I feel bad for both of them none of them is being rational right now. You don't let circumstances and attitude destroy your relationship. This time the problem is internal caused by both of them and they both need to fix it:)

My two cents about the whole track. I love you if you are still reading:)

LOVE

SARA