Posted:
I was just having a conversation about vividha on another thread and I wrote this reply that became longer than expected and grew into a life of its own and I have always said I supported vv choosing to save atharva but never really explained from my pint of view . So here we go . This is a vv centric post don't read if you can't handle.
I 100% agree Vividha was selfish in that situation and that is a very human and realistic situation for me .
If in a stressful situation , you are given two options A and B , and are told to decide now!! no time to think, take it or leave it . I wouldn't have taken it seriously if she had said "okay, stop let's think this through" , while a person she has been going around claiming to love is being beaten to death.
In my mind I would've be like "girl , his life vs you marrying someone you don't even know / not even a name and you really want to go into minute by minute details of this deal while in trauma"đ . For me that was a do or die decision and no one ever wants to die.
This brings me to a medical show I was watching a few weeks ago. There where two parents who where complete strangers to each other( one male, one female) .but who met every day in a hospital room . Because both had children that where connected to machines and both these children where on a waiting list for a heart transplant and both where slowly dying. According to what was said on the show ,I think the lady was admitted at the hospital with her child for longer than the man and these children matched.
These parents got to know each other and became a support system for each other. And then an intern walks in and says we found a heart . this heart is for ...m... the mans child . And with that she the intern said prep the baby up for operation. And as they where doing this , the man goes to talk to the woman who is looking at her baby attached to tubes and crying . She tells him "not now please" . He tries again and she says "not now" . And as he is walking away . She calls him and looks straight into his eyes and says "we both know that is my babies heart that was given to your child".
It was true. So the man walks out. It was unfair because in all rightness of things her child was suppose to get that heart . But for some reason unknown to the universe his child was chosen . And the man himself knew it was not fair but still did nothing .
So why didn't he stop and think "I can wait for another heart this heart needs to go to her child"( and do what ever procedures that needs to be done for her to get the heart), but he also loved his child and wanted his child to be fine.
There is selfishness in love and its never really a difficult choice when it comes to choosing or favoring a loved one over a stranger . life is unfair in that way.
Now why did I tell this long story . Us as human beings do it everyday . We choose our loved ones over strangers and people we don't really know or care about . Its a fact . And we can't deny it. I was always told someone has to win and someone always has to loose. Never forget that sometimes for you to win there is always someone who might not be the same as you but is as deserving as you who has to lose and its now up to you to decide ,especially when winning involves the life of your love ones.
Has anyone asked why is it taking so long for ravish to tell his mom the truth?, why was he hiding atharva in his house instead of coming in through the front door?, why hasn't he started the process to get atharva's "rights"? ( because him being ill does not make him any less of RK's son. When he gets well the "rights" will still be there) ( "rights" because we all know atharva wants nothing related to RK) wouldn't it be better to get it all done with and out of the way?, why does he keep on lying and making excuses instead of just coming out and saying that "this is what my father wanted" , "am looking for Atharva" , "vividha did see someone in my room", "there was someone in the closet ", "am not going to work but to take care of my bother". Ravish hasn't done any of this because he loves his mother. She is the most important person in his life and he knows what will happen to her on facing Ramamkant's past.
But here is the thing , all of this is of no fault of sujata or atharva , they don't have to be at that house .But if they are being kept there why in secret?. Because if Ravish didn't go looking for them . They wouldn't have come looking for him. He is trying his best in pleasing who he can , but its not a fair game because his mother will always come first because he loves her the most. And in a balancing scale she will always win right now until he gets the courage to face all this upfront. His situation might not be the same but the concept applies.
And vividha to me chose the life of her loved one over the life of someone she did not know.
I know for some people they have said , if it was them they would have preferred to watch atharva die than "ruin" someone else's life and to that I say you are a very strong individual , because I can't even watch a stranger die let alone the love of my life when I have a choice of saving their life . I will take that choice without even blinking twice.
When vividha took the decision of getting married to a person ( again remember she didn't even know he existed minutes ago. so don't expects her to have lost love for him , I know I wouldn't. ) and not saying a word to anyone about what happened. She was thinking of atharva and only of Atharva . He is the one she loved so she chose his life.
Vividha to me expected the family to react differently she taught they where going to be people who will make a her life a living hell. She went in there( the wedding) as a trauma victim still in shock. Which really , I thought it was all going to blow over before the wedding started .I swear to you I did. I don't care what anyone says . But a happy bride did not even look as close to vividha as possible . And before we make the excuse of tiredness a person can look tired and happy at the same time . Vv looked like someone just died . And someone did just die , her father and someone was on the verge off dying her husband and to top it off she was a first-class-sit witness to the event, another reason why her decision was an instinct to protect those she love .
So the wedding came and went and vv was ready for the war that was about to start .but poor girl was blind sided by their (raviish's family) kindness and the gilt started eating at her.
In all this she keeps her part of the deal she married a man of KK's choosing and hasn't said a word. In the beginning I could understand her dilemma, her father too was a "nice" and honest God fearing man ( From her point of view) and then overnight he became the man who almost killed atharva and forced her to marry ravish. So what guarantee did she have that trusting these "nice" strangers wouldn't get her in the same boat as before . I mean her trust of 24 yrs was broken in one day and you expect her to get back on the trust wagon so early.( fool me oce shame on you , fool me twice shame on me )
So now after a while the trust has been built and she as come to realise that ravish is nothing like her father ( remember he was her main male role model in life ,and every male in her life will be compared to him , consciously or subconsciously)
And she has also now realise maybe I should tell him, (Though technically KK did keep his word he wasn't aware of the fact that ankit used a hammer) This is unfair to him and his family. But then again she has to stay with this caring family and return their kindness because uma told her Atharva is fine and he has moved on. We all know if uma spoke the truth for once , vividha would have spilled the beans already.
But instead we are stuck playing the "will she or will she not " and "the will he or will he not" game. I mean how hard is it to say a line and how hard is it to stand and listen to that line .*sigh* if this is marriage am not up for it.
But here is a fact going back in time . I expect her to still make the exact same decision save atharva's life , but maybe this time have more leverage and be dragged away after she is sure he is still alive .
Am not saying she is right , but she did save a life , this is a girl who made a decision , on what she had , what she knew and what she felt . I will not crucify her for that . Someone else would have decided to be unselfish and let atharva die, but then again . What about sujata ?? doesn't she deserve to have her son alive with her, Over vividha marrying someone they don't know??. What about her ?? Why are we only worried about the vashist family . Wouldn't it too be selfish of vividha to let a mother watch her son be killed in front of her .
The fact remains either way vividha would have been selfish. unless ravish and his family are more important than sujata and her son ,(in all honesty at that moment in time they where faceless and nameless individuals)I expected her to be selfish in love and to choose the people she loved.
vividha divorcing ravish will hurt suman a lot but I too can bet that ,Suman finding out in 27 yrs that her DIL did not love her son will be more painful . As he just lived her life and she was the main conductor in it.
Vividha might be selfish but equating her to KK says we have been watching two different shows.
As always civil/respectful discussions welcomed.
I 100% agree Vividha was selfish in that situation and that is a very human and realistic situation for me .
If in a stressful situation , you are given two options A and B , and are told to decide now!! no time to think, take it or leave it . I wouldn't have taken it seriously if she had said "okay, stop let's think this through" , while a person she has been going around claiming to love is being beaten to death.
In my mind I would've be like "girl , his life vs you marrying someone you don't even know / not even a name and you really want to go into minute by minute details of this deal while in trauma"đ . For me that was a do or die decision and no one ever wants to die.
This brings me to a medical show I was watching a few weeks ago. There where two parents who where complete strangers to each other( one male, one female) .but who met every day in a hospital room . Because both had children that where connected to machines and both these children where on a waiting list for a heart transplant and both where slowly dying. According to what was said on the show ,I think the lady was admitted at the hospital with her child for longer than the man and these children matched.
These parents got to know each other and became a support system for each other. And then an intern walks in and says we found a heart . this heart is for ...m... the mans child . And with that she the intern said prep the baby up for operation. And as they where doing this , the man goes to talk to the woman who is looking at her baby attached to tubes and crying . She tells him "not now please" . He tries again and she says "not now" . And as he is walking away . She calls him and looks straight into his eyes and says "we both know that is my babies heart that was given to your child".
It was true. So the man walks out. It was unfair because in all rightness of things her child was suppose to get that heart . But for some reason unknown to the universe his child was chosen . And the man himself knew it was not fair but still did nothing .
So why didn't he stop and think "I can wait for another heart this heart needs to go to her child"( and do what ever procedures that needs to be done for her to get the heart), but he also loved his child and wanted his child to be fine.
There is selfishness in love and its never really a difficult choice when it comes to choosing or favoring a loved one over a stranger . life is unfair in that way.
Now why did I tell this long story . Us as human beings do it everyday . We choose our loved ones over strangers and people we don't really know or care about . Its a fact . And we can't deny it. I was always told someone has to win and someone always has to loose. Never forget that sometimes for you to win there is always someone who might not be the same as you but is as deserving as you who has to lose and its now up to you to decide ,especially when winning involves the life of your love ones.
Has anyone asked why is it taking so long for ravish to tell his mom the truth?, why was he hiding atharva in his house instead of coming in through the front door?, why hasn't he started the process to get atharva's "rights"? ( because him being ill does not make him any less of RK's son. When he gets well the "rights" will still be there) ( "rights" because we all know atharva wants nothing related to RK) wouldn't it be better to get it all done with and out of the way?, why does he keep on lying and making excuses instead of just coming out and saying that "this is what my father wanted" , "am looking for Atharva" , "vividha did see someone in my room", "there was someone in the closet ", "am not going to work but to take care of my bother". Ravish hasn't done any of this because he loves his mother. She is the most important person in his life and he knows what will happen to her on facing Ramamkant's past.
But here is the thing , all of this is of no fault of sujata or atharva , they don't have to be at that house .But if they are being kept there why in secret?. Because if Ravish didn't go looking for them . They wouldn't have come looking for him. He is trying his best in pleasing who he can , but its not a fair game because his mother will always come first because he loves her the most. And in a balancing scale she will always win right now until he gets the courage to face all this upfront. His situation might not be the same but the concept applies.
And vividha to me chose the life of her loved one over the life of someone she did not know.
I know for some people they have said , if it was them they would have preferred to watch atharva die than "ruin" someone else's life and to that I say you are a very strong individual , because I can't even watch a stranger die let alone the love of my life when I have a choice of saving their life . I will take that choice without even blinking twice.
When vividha took the decision of getting married to a person ( again remember she didn't even know he existed minutes ago. so don't expects her to have lost love for him , I know I wouldn't. ) and not saying a word to anyone about what happened. She was thinking of atharva and only of Atharva . He is the one she loved so she chose his life.
Vividha to me expected the family to react differently she taught they where going to be people who will make a her life a living hell. She went in there( the wedding) as a trauma victim still in shock. Which really , I thought it was all going to blow over before the wedding started .I swear to you I did. I don't care what anyone says . But a happy bride did not even look as close to vividha as possible . And before we make the excuse of tiredness a person can look tired and happy at the same time . Vv looked like someone just died . And someone did just die , her father and someone was on the verge off dying her husband and to top it off she was a first-class-sit witness to the event, another reason why her decision was an instinct to protect those she love .
So the wedding came and went and vv was ready for the war that was about to start .but poor girl was blind sided by their (raviish's family) kindness and the gilt started eating at her.
In all this she keeps her part of the deal she married a man of KK's choosing and hasn't said a word. In the beginning I could understand her dilemma, her father too was a "nice" and honest God fearing man ( From her point of view) and then overnight he became the man who almost killed atharva and forced her to marry ravish. So what guarantee did she have that trusting these "nice" strangers wouldn't get her in the same boat as before . I mean her trust of 24 yrs was broken in one day and you expect her to get back on the trust wagon so early.( fool me oce shame on you , fool me twice shame on me )
So now after a while the trust has been built and she as come to realise that ravish is nothing like her father ( remember he was her main male role model in life ,and every male in her life will be compared to him , consciously or subconsciously)
And she has also now realise maybe I should tell him, (Though technically KK did keep his word he wasn't aware of the fact that ankit used a hammer) This is unfair to him and his family. But then again she has to stay with this caring family and return their kindness because uma told her Atharva is fine and he has moved on. We all know if uma spoke the truth for once , vividha would have spilled the beans already.
But instead we are stuck playing the "will she or will she not " and "the will he or will he not" game. I mean how hard is it to say a line and how hard is it to stand and listen to that line .*sigh* if this is marriage am not up for it.
But here is a fact going back in time . I expect her to still make the exact same decision save atharva's life , but maybe this time have more leverage and be dragged away after she is sure he is still alive .
Am not saying she is right , but she did save a life , this is a girl who made a decision , on what she had , what she knew and what she felt . I will not crucify her for that . Someone else would have decided to be unselfish and let atharva die, but then again . What about sujata ?? doesn't she deserve to have her son alive with her, Over vividha marrying someone they don't know??. What about her ?? Why are we only worried about the vashist family . Wouldn't it too be selfish of vividha to let a mother watch her son be killed in front of her .
The fact remains either way vividha would have been selfish. unless ravish and his family are more important than sujata and her son ,(in all honesty at that moment in time they where faceless and nameless individuals)I expected her to be selfish in love and to choose the people she loved.
vividha divorcing ravish will hurt suman a lot but I too can bet that ,Suman finding out in 27 yrs that her DIL did not love her son will be more painful . As he just lived her life and she was the main conductor in it.
Vividha might be selfish but equating her to KK says we have been watching two different shows.
As always civil/respectful discussions welcomed.
