"Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be."
C. JoyBell C.
Dear Swara
Congratulations Swara Sanskar Maheswari for completing yet another mission. Laksh is back and I am presuming that your sister is really happy. I know you are angry right now because I asked you to come meet me in this restaurant but I didn't show up and left you this letter. I am sorry Swara I don't have the strength to face you anymore. Preparing for Uttara's wedding with you was really hard because it reminded me of our wedding and our happiness. Ah our wedding was not simple at all it was so eventful. Remember how we promised to stay with each other forever and I vowed to make every day special for you after my proposal. Or our engagement that was about to get postponed because one of the rings was missing. However, we were so in love with each other that we didn't care about the material value of the ring. I tied a mouli along your finger. Do you recall the first time I filled your maang with sindoor? You admonished me for doing so and told me how sindoor was really important for a woman as it was a symbol of the trust and bond she shares with her husband. To make you remember during your horrific memory loss episode I took up the Bhojpuri avatar of Kissan. You might be thinking why I am mentioning these things because I often wondered in the past six months that what happened to us? Why Swara was it so easy for you to leave me that day. I know I had said somethings in the past that made you angry but that day I tried to stop you. You didn't even look back once. You didn't realize what bond you were breaking. Was our love for each other an illusion? Was everything we did for each other a farce? Were we both lying when we confessed our love to each other? Was my love not enough if it wasn't than I am truly sorry because honestly Swara I tried my best. Whenever I have met you in the past few days we have exchanged bitter words. I don't have the strength to face you anymore and be assaulted with memories of our time together. Our memories keep me up at night and meeting you, talking to you and looking at you makes it worse. You remind me of the love we both lost. All that you said to me still echoes in my ears. For once Swara I asked you to pick me, to choose me to support me. Hadn't I been there for you in all your missions? I told you I want to hurt you but hurting you gives me no pleasure because it indirectly hurts me too. I tried to hate you Swara. I died a bit everyday in these past six months but I don't hate you however I don't even love you the way I used to. I am confused Swara that's why I need to go away from this place where we made so many memories. I don't know where I am going or if I will ever come back but right now I just need to get away from all this mess. Maybe this is good for both of us. Remember you told me you had a dream of opening up your own music school but somewhere along the way you abandoned it because of our life struggles. Well I have transferred some of my shares to you and advised some of my best employers to assist you in building that school. For once Swara live for yourself. It's time you come out of your dream world and embrace reality. Not everything and not everyone would turn out the way you expect them too. Remember that in order for a candle to give light to others it has to burn itself. Stop burning yourself Swara and just live. I know you want me to stay with you but ruknay ki koi wajah nahi hain abb meray pass jaisay uss din tumharay paas ruknay ki koi wajah nahi thi. Maybe time and distance will make things better who knows we one day we might even find our way back to each other.
"Maybe we tried to leave as much memories of ourselves with each other because we knew one day we wouldn't be together any more."
Makoto Shinkai, 5 Centimeters per Second
Yours forever
Sanskar Maheswari
P.S Maybe Swara we can stay in each other's heart but not in each other's life. Always remember that there is a man in this world who loved you with all his heart and soul.
A/N: Just a rambling set in the future when Laksh comes back. Do share your feedback😊
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