Sona represents every newly married Indian woman - Page 2

Thank u for this post.

loved your post !! and yes..i so agree with the heading and ur post...while many were complaining abt Sona loosing her identity or showing sona this way was unrealistic as she is a qualified independent girl...I , as a women married for 9 yrs now, cld so well relate to her..even i came from a diff background..was qualified , was working in another city before wedding , and sunddenly married to to an orthodox family...i was to join my hubby abroad, but till my visa papers were ready i had to stay wth my inlaws..and i found myself doing everythin under the sun to make them happy..to not make them complain abt me...i begin doing thngs i never did before...visitng every function with my mil wen i wasnt even needed to attend..doing all sorts of pujas i never did before...and like Dev my husband used to ask me not to go and just openly to my mil ..i had the full support of my husband to refuse to do something..but i just cldnt refuse..i foind myself agreeing to everythin that were asking me to do...and i see the same thng being done by Sona...and i find it very realistic..coz however independnt , qualified you are, if u crave for a good married life, u are willing to adjust and compromise and win the trust and support of your inlaws...somehow, deep down u realise, that if u face issues wth ur inlaws , ur marriage wll suffer , even though ur husband supports u now..but wen thngs get worse, u might end up being blamed..that is Sona's fear too...am sure the unmarried gilrs out here wld find it wierd...but this happens to most of us...

Nice post...I can understand as my elder and only sister went thru all those hardships.

Originally posted by: svpg

Sona reminds me so much of myself. I have been married for 20 years. Mine was an arranged marriage, so in some ways it was much harder because you are also trying to understand your husband and the other family members at the same time. Our culture is like a double edged sword. On one side, you are expected to immediately accept all the customs and rituals of your new home as your own and on the other side, as soon as you share your own opinion about any matter, you are regarded as an an"outsider" I felt so helpless the first few months. I was an educated, independent girl and yet felt so
Vulnerable to all the people non stop judging you. Some people were much younger and even they would judge and some people were older and even when they would judge. I almost felt like an
Animal in the zoo. But as time passed things started to change. I developed a trust worthy relationship with my husband over the years and then even when someone said something against me, he would just laugh it off and never really got bothered with it or bother me with it. But it takes time and. LOTtt of patience. Men do not understand the complexity of relationships. They are just wired like that whereas us women have 6th sense. Married life is not a romantic cake walk, it is a lot of hard work, a lot of compromises. Most of all, it needs ability to forgive and forget. Even today my husband hardly shares what money he gives to his parents or his sisters or brothers. I have accepted that it is ok . It is important to be happy and ignore the little things because at the end of the day it's is not worth it. So for all you soon to be married girls out there, what Sona is facing is real. I hope the CVS show how husband and wife should develop trust in each other and not how they fall apart and separate. Separation is an easy way out. What they should show is how they stick together and make it work!! Because that is what makes Indian marriages great!!
Sorry for the long post. Today's episode took be back to 20 years ago!

Completely agree with u..Marriage is not easy ..there r lots of compromises sometimes u have to compromise with ur self respect too for the sake of newly made relationship but with time u start learning facts bout the situations.
Trust me first few years r the most difficult ones(only 10%romance n rest complications)

very true me married for 18 years till not accepted by my in laws and never be for them still i am an outsider my brother in law is facing difficulties in his marriage life i know abt it.. when he visited my house i asked him directily wt is the problem between u and ur wife he said nothing..he told eveything to his brother but dont want to share with me i really wanted to mend his relationship with his wife i want to help him whole heartedly but still they treat me as an outsider..

Dear Topic maker,

Originally posted by: Sruji1

omg seeing all this iam scared of getting married .

No No.. don't feel like that... things have changed for good over a period of time (though there is always scope for improvements). In-laws these days are quite friendly with their DILs. And men are neither so dumb nor so chauvinistic as shown in many of the shows. We just need to remember that what we give is what we get😊

Very nice post.I also come from a family pretty much like Bose family, well educated, independent, follow very less rituals or customs, more focus on own family than what relatives say. Mine was a love marriage n everything went very smoothly. My inlaws are very nice but even then I took time to adjust in my husband's house coz of the usual things - me nt being a great cook, me nt knowing anything abt rituals n didnt even hav any interest in it. My situation was different than Sona coz I never tried to get myself involved in their family n relatives issues. My perspective usually differed from theirs n I didn't wanted to voice out a different opinion everytime but my laws involved me everytime, result being I wud blurt out what I feel which thr elder relatives cud not digest..😆😉 But my husband was always very supportive..maybe bcoz of love marriage n bcoz we had almost 7yrs courtship period we understood each other really well. If someone says smthing to me, I immediately tell my husband n we discuss together how to handle it. I even tell him if I am uncomfortable with his parents behaviour n let him try to sort out the matters.

Originally posted by: Gita_N

No No.. don't feel like that... things have changed for good over a period of time (though there is always scope for improvements). In-laws these days are quite friendly with their DILs. And men are neither so dumb nor so chauvinistic as shown in many of the shows. We just need to remember that what we give is what we get