Of Individuality and Compromise - Page 2

Maham, who would ever forget such an amazing writer like you.👏 I used to read your posts to always get a better perspective of the episode when you used to write so regularly. I missed your posts a lot for obvious reasons. Your posts always brightens up my day as sometime when I am so overwhelmed by different emotions and find it at times difficult to express it well. However, after reading your post...I would go like..."Yes that's exactly what I wanted to say...but here Maham has put it across so beautifully and with such simplicity that I am completely floored."😳

I loved the way, how your analysed Sona ...especially the following parts ...even I didn't think like that...but interesting thoughts esp those highlighted. Loved your thoughts.!⭐️

Highlights of your posts

1. Sona and her constant struggle with her own pride and need for validation from Ishwari.

2. Sona does have this inherent issue of pride being her fall. She also fears failure and needs to be declared perfect by everyone around

3. All that went for a toss ofcourse when Dev collapsed during her engagement and for the first time you openly saw Sona embrace her true feelings and ignore all notions of practicality. She listened to her heart rather than her mind that day but her struggle with her flaws still continues.

4. She wants Ishwari's approval and that is all she knows right now. But I can't say that Sona is simply doing this for her own self-satisfaction or that she is driven by some half-baked notion of achieving perfection and feeling worthy only when a figure of authority (In this case, Ishwari) acknowledges her efforts and loves her for the same. I think Sona is also afraid of the power Ishwari has on her relationship with Dev.

5. Instead of actually giving her relationship with Dev time, Sona has chosen to focus her energy on the person who was responsible for them breaking up and reuniting once again. If she can just win Ishwari's heart she will no longer have to live with the fear of losing Dev again.

6. I do understand the concept of a girl trying to live according to the ways of her in-laws simply because she wants them to accept her as one of their own. It's a perfectly real thing and not entirely wrong either. A little compromise is always needed.

And then you went on to say these...about she not losing her identity and be herself - Its ok to be imperfect. ! Wow...

1. on the other hand there is Sona who is trying her level best to mould herself according to the needs of her new family and be considered as one of their own. It's an interesting conflict. Balance is the key here. Your life changes after marriage, you can't really call it your own anymore. Some decisions, some choices you have to make according to the needs of your new family. However this does not mean that you also lose your own identity in the process and forget your wants and needs. I think the best thing in such situations is to sit back and really reflect over how much you are willing to change.

2. Basically Dev doesn't need another Dixit in his life. He needs a Bose. Sonakshi Bose. He needs the woman that he fell in love with and if Sona loses that person in her struggle to be the perfect bahu then the whole thing becomes quite pointless.

3. Sona needs to understand the real extent of her abilities and accept the things she cannot do and beokay with the idea of being imperfect. Perfection doesn't exist afterall.

Reading your post, I understand that there needs to be a good balance and compromise without losing one's sense of identity in the process after marriage. There's a tolerance level of everything and she should really think through this calmly and assess on what's within her capacity without overpromising to Iswari and hurting dev in the process who just likes her the way she was.

As you said marriage does changes some aspects of one's life before and after marriage. She needs to be the person she once was...but I reckon , it would not so easy to be 100% the Sonakshi she once was.

It wont be easy for her to say "NO" to everything but then again too many "Yes" also would not go well with Dev either...so she needs to find a perfect leverage between how to deal with both mother and son, while still retaining her identity but pleasing both and keeping everyone happy.!

Thank you for this wonderful post... You are truly an amazing, brilliant...awesome...writer .! Love this post to the core

So dear Maham, one request...no more disappearing act...pls come to write regularly ...I see you jump into the characters so well and bring out the best of every character to LIFE , while reading...too good!

Here's lots of hugs and kisses for coming back again and for this wonderful post!🤗

Take care

Salute!

Silambu