Be Careful, Sona!

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

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Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: vibg
Dona was absolutely right cause dev never gets it. He never listens to full story. He created a really bad situation between ishwari and sons.. brunt of which only Dona has to face. And she knows it. All her hard work of trying to fit in his family down the drain by dev yelling at his mom. Dev has to stop being childish and grow up. His sorry wasn't good Enuff and he didn't learn anything 😡 as soon as next situation arose... ishwari representing Dona for calming dev down... he justified his mum again... bullshit. Him and his mom only see the world from their POV and that's sona's problem with him.

Thanks for sharing your point of view, but I disagree. Dev did make a huge mess of things, but Sona did not have to face the brunt of it. Ishwari knows Sona and Dev well enough to believe that Sona would not have sent Dev, and that Dev is capable of such impulsive, insensitive behaviour in anger. The way I saw it, she was much more upset with Dev for accusing her on Sona's behalf and expressed that directly to Dev. As for Dev, he has been on high alert with regards to his mother since the wedding. Why else would he assume that his mother forced Sona? He also picks up on all of Ishwari's micro aggressions -- like in yesterday's episode -- and makes sure to clear them up with Sona.

I know Sona is putting a lot of work into fitting in, but I see it as her putting all her effort into a black hole... she's never going to get the kind of reciprocity she wants and the sooner she realises it, the better.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: desigirl987
Sam , how do you keep noticing these nuances and analyse it so brilliantly !!! After watching that patch up scene , I felt something was missing, and I was expecting Sona's apology as well ,because I had seen more than once Sona apologizing to Dev even when it was not really necessary like during their first fight and patch up in rain , or when she was convincing him to sit in Pooja . But never in million times I would have compared it with Ishwari's behaviour with Dev ... Or took it as alarming till I read your post !!! 👏 But it makes so much sense !!! I also admire the honesty (sometimes brutal) in their relationship more than anything else ... And thats what I liked about yesterdays fight , even though Dev knew she was hurt , he didnt hold back and tried to make his point just like Sona justified herself .But after reading your post I really hope Sona wont go in this way further , and Dev would not make it his mantra that "You are always right" !!!

" Nobody knows better than Neha that there's no reward or recognition guaranteed when you sacrifice... instead, no matter how much you give, some people will just keep taking until they take you for granted! You should prioritise those few people who genuinely care about your happiness, most of all, yourself! "

This is just ... 👏👏👏 It can't be said in a better way !!! I'm so happy CVs are using Neha at the right time and I'm more than excited !!! Once again can't appreciate you enough for your unique perspective !!!

It took me from the time of the episode until several hours later to realise what made that lack of apology from Sona's side so worrying. It's true, even when she was much less at fault than Dev, she apologised to him because she understood what his perspective was. Today, when there was actually a reason for her to apologise, it felt very uncharacteristic that she didn't. Dev has learned to communicate the way he did yesterday -- with humour and honesty -- because Sona taught him how, and they built their relationship on that communication. But it doesn't work if not from both sides... I look forward to seeing how the CVs take this forward... especially with Neha in the mix!

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: siddhi.d123
Sona is slowly understanding the grey shades of her sasural but is still trying very hard to fit in but I guess she will soon get a reality check 😊

Well put! In a black and white world, Sona would get the acceptance she craves for all her effort to fit in. But this is a family with shades of grey, and things don't always work in linear fashion where the Dixits are concerned!

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: Soumya23
Perfectly put in Sona had a lot of Ishwari in the car Convo...
I kept waiting for Sona to return his apology...something like I didn't expect that the fast had this also...but I already said yes so cudnt back out...
The very key to their relationship was an Open Communication...but today Sona was so welled up in her acche bahu banne ki that she is slowly losing herself...
First time,in there whole conversation Sona didn't look at him only when she started defending herself she again looked at him...
It is obviously a roller coaster ride for Sona and definitely not a pleasant one...The one she thought would be her support Dev is equally welled up and stressed out...Dev n Sona both knew this is not going to be easy,but,the way it is all turning up is more than a shock to both of them...

Was expecting Neha to turn up at one moment or the other,everything is piling up...Ishwari literally ignored Sona when she woke them in the morning...she spoke to Dev and finally turned to Sona to give one fake smile as if 'Dont try to change my son's attitude...'
All in all it is standing up to its title 'Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise bhi'

Jealousy
Possessiveness
Humility
Submissiveness
Sulking
Anger
Confusion
And if time permits showcase your affection tooo in a pleasant manner😊

@Bold: Absolutely! These lines remind me of the line from the Coldplay song, "The Scientist." "Nobody said it was easy/No one ever said it would be so hard." Both of them knew it was going to be hard, but the challenges they are facing are completely knocking the wind out of their systems! 😔

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: KyunkiImafan
I very much agree with what you wrote. I didn't like how Sona acted yesterday at all. She didn't even try to see Dev's point. And I very much agree that She should have talked with Dev before taking the decision. She could have told Ishwari that Maa main aapko Dev se baat karke batati hu...this way even Ishwari will feel that Sona gives importance to Dev rather than showing how independent she is and how she can take her own decisions.
And the way Bijoy reacts each time when Dixit name is uttered is getting really annoying and upsetting. He shows no respect for their culture, why is he forgetting that he agreed for Bengali style wedding...even for non-veg and all he can do is tell how superior he is and his culture is!! Sona should have stood up when Bijoy insulted Dev but nope she stayed quiet and then again in car she stayed quiet...I disliked it. Why did she not walk in behind Dev when Dev went to talk to Ishwari if she knew Dev didn't hear her fully...why cry like other bahus...isn't she the one who always likes to clear things right there...then why!

Sona needs to realize that once you are married decisions are taken together and in early stages giving importance to hubby matters specially in love marriage. Independent ka matlab arrogance nahi hota.

Even though I agree that the ideal thing would have been for Sona to talk to Dev before agreeing for the vrat, she made the mistake of agreeing and I am totally fine with that. We all make mistakes when we are new to something, and as I have said many times, I so appreciate these CVs for allowing Sona to make those mistakes as a female lead instead of being a paragon of flawless virtue and sacrifice. However, what surprised me about her behaviour was the refusal to accept that she had made a mistake, specifically in front of Dev. The hallmark of their relationship is not that they are perfect, but that they are able to understand and empathise with each other's imperfections and learn. That is what was missing to me in this particular exchange.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: cscs
I saw a very different Sona yesterday in the car scene. During the fight both of them were correct at their places and a it could have been sorted out either with a talk or sorry by both the sides. But it was Dev who was sorry and sona was sulking. She knew that Dev was also right with his perspective and she has always respected it. I really hope she realises soon, because not Ishwari or neha, its Dev who is gonna be with her always.

Word! I have nothing to add since you expressed the situation so precisely! 👏

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: Monu1602
Yday even I wasn't happy with her behaviour. Firstly in car conversation she should have said sorry first instead of sulking. Secondly she should have told Dev to talk to Neha abt the issue instead of advising him to wait. When your sister in law comes back she needs an emotional support and heart to heart talk. we shouldn't make her feel like she is unwanted by not talking to her. May be she must have told to hold on as Dev is very aggressive but still...

I don't know, the Neha situation was a Catch-22. Like you said, Dev's temper was out of control and he might have inadvertently said something hurtful to Neha. Moreover, Neha was not ready to talk at the point so Sona probably thought of giving her space. But once Dev calmed down, it would not have been a bad idea to go directly to Neha and sit with her, expressing his support and saying he was there to talk whenever she wanted. In this matter, I fault Dev more than Sona. It's one thing to get riled up in anger on Neha's behalf. It's entirely another ballgame to actually go, sit with her and LISTEN. That's something Dev has never managed! 🤔

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: VD927
Great Analysis! I thought exactly the same when watching the car scene! I was waiting for her to apologise as well that she usually does but she didn't! The fact that Ishwari didn't want her as her sons wife has really hit her hard. It might even be for the first time in Sonas life she's experiencing this kind of rejection and she is desperate to change that. In this situation Dev has actually analysed the situation pretty well with his comments on best bahu paegent etc. Even his suggestion to make these decisions together I think stems from him wanting to ensure she is doing things for the right reasons. And yes, if getting Ishwari's acceptance continues developing into an unhealthy obsession for Sona, it will impact Dev and Sonas bond.

She needs to return to work!!! :-)

Yes she does! In fact, the idea that she is returning to work soon may be part of why she is rushing to win this pageant with such urgency! She's trying to prove herself in the brief time she has before she goes back to her usual lifestyle. And you read my mind about Sona's difficulty with rejection. Dev is unable to get through to her that he is worried for her, rather than his own desires (very similar to the Ritwick engagement phase) because he is unfortunately still a bit lacking in the communication department. As you said, he just wants her to be doing this for the right reasons.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: libran13
Yes her silence and sulking behavior was definitely an eye opener. But I think her silent behavior could be justified with what she had to go through since she has stepped into her inlaws after marriage. She has been facing a lot of issues, and has even argued with Dev on more than one occasion. I guess she was just tired to have another argument especially after the morning one.
And if she begins to forgive and forget every wrong thing that Dev does when he comes back with a sorry, wouldn't she be taken for granted? If we need Dev to understand his mother's true attitudes, Sona has to stand her ground. Because she will have to face Dev's wraths the moment he hears any negative comment about his mother from Sona. And if after every fight Dev comes back and apologizes and if Sona gives in, then Ishwari's problem will never be sorted out between them.
It is just my opinion. :)

I am not asking her to forgive and forget unconditionally at all. I am just hoping that she maintains her previous standard of open communication. In the car, if she was still upset with him, she should have come out and said it, like "I'm still upset with you for a, b, c reasons, but I don't feel like arguing right now, so let's change the subject." It's not her being upset that I found worrying -- she's free to be as angry as she wants, anytime she wants with Dev -- it was the way she chose to express it, by withholding communication, that bothered me. Also, I think Dev isn't getting enough credit for how vigilant he has been about his mother, and relatives, since the wedding. He knows what Ishwari is capable of, and has been at the ready to defend Sona. Bet he didn't realise he'd be defending her from herself!

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: Looneygirl
Hey Sam, welcome back. Spot on again. I too felt Sona was petulant with Dev and I thought she would defend Dev when Bijoy was accusing him. But voila, looked like the cat had got her tongue . Anyway the way that Dev responded with politeness was good. And she needs to take a leaf out of his book when dealing with the mad caps at the Dixit household. As you've rightly pointed out if she does not make a U turn soon she'll become someone unrecognizable even to herself and she'll lose the important person who values her the most - Dev, the love of her life 😕. Hope a rude shock will jolt her awake and discard her ambitions of being the perfect bahu- no one values her efforts anyway . I'm keeping fingers crossed that by the end of the week she'll get her 'bodhi tree' 😆 experience and give us the Sona we always loved from Monday... maybe I'm being too optimistic here, but what the hell this show has made me laugh, cry and empathize so much that I can't help but yearn for the best. And the fault to a great extent lies with Shaheer Sheikh and Erica Fernandes and the marvelous supporting cast. 😊

Bodhi-tree experience, yes!!! 😆

These episodes are revealing very interesting insights into Dev and Sona, that were invisible in other circumstances. Sona always seemed so sure of herself, and Dev so emotionally weak, but in this post-wedding phase, it is Dev is displaying much more self-assurance, while Sona flounders to figure out who she wants to be in this equation. Some of this, of course, has to do with the unfair rule of her going to live in his house, while he only has to stomach brief visits at hers, but it also has a lot to do with the experiences they've faced thus far. The way Dev dealt with Bijoy yesterday is definitely something Sona can take cues from: an honest, what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude.

I am also eagerly awaiting the triumphant return of Dev's (and our) Sona! 😳

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