[This chapter gets a bit dark]
Regrets
Sonarika stepped inside surveying the house with a melancholic longing on her face. Ankur ushered her in and disappeared into the kitchen. She was remembering being in the Thakur's house, cooking meals for the brothers while they were off to work. But this house haunted her with all its forbidding secrets. She loathed everything about it, the grandeur and space felt harsh and cold not quite like the cosy, quaint modest household of the Thakur brothers. And then there was her brother. Step brother. He appeared with some wet cloths and walked to her from behind dabbing at the grazes on her back, studying her reactions attentively. She flinched a little as he pressed it into her skin.
Does it hurt?' he asked.
No' she answered. He pressed it deeper, the veins in his face surging from jealous outrage as he recalled the Greaser's handsome appearance, the Greaser who had stolen her from him. He studied her for her reaction whilst a stinging pain shot through her and it was all she could do to stop herself from crying out as she clung tightly onto the cloth in her hands.
'You know what I think? I think you're lying to me Sona.' His whispered spitefully into her ear, eyes flashing in livid rage. He started to run his hands up her arms and pulled her into him gripping her shoulders painfully till her tears fell.
'You broke my trust, you cheated on me with that good for nothing greaser. You played with my feelings when all I ever did was trust you!' he said raising his voice and shaking her as she continued to sob.
'What did I not give you- I gave you everything and you..' he breathed angrily against her skin making her shudder from fear. He gripped her wrist and dragged her upstairs, shoving her into her room till she fell with a thump onto the bed.
'You wont leave this house ever again.' He said threateningly, fixing her a cold stare before turning round and slamming the door on her.
Sonarika cried her eyes out till exhaustion coursed through her prostrate form and she could no longer sob anymore. She felt herself slip away into the dark of her past, the day it had all started...the only dark phase blighting an otherwise perfect life.
(10 years ago)
The rain lashed down relentlessly as Sonarika and her mother stepped onto the front porch. A young handsome man answered the door, his eyes lit up with mild surprise as he scanned Sonarika from head to toe.
Her mum appeared from behind her and introduced them.
'Sona, meet your new brother, Ankur.'
'Hi' she said rather timidly while his eyes lingered on her.
He's going to be your step brother. She thought, trying not to be swayed by her natural instincts.
There was a moment's pause as they looked at one another before her mother ushered her inside.
'Please have a seat. Dad will be down any minute.' He said charmingly, his voice was deep. She hadn't expected that.
As they settled on the sofa he went to fetch them drinks.
His father had appeared by the time he'd finished fixing the drinks and was already deeply engaged in conversation with Sonarika's mother. Sonarika looked bored and rolled her eyes till they fell on his. He posed the tray on table after handing the drinks out but Sonarika had refused.
He stood behind his dad and continued to stare at her while she shuffled her feet in discomfort. She was beginning to feel unsettled as she felt his eyes on her and threw him a look filled with agitation.
'What? What are you looking at? If you have something to say to me just say it!' She snapped.
The parents stopped talking at her sudden outburst.
Sonarika?' Her mother said embarrassed while apologizing to them as her daughter stood up and left in outrage. She had worked up an angst since arriving in this strange place and everything was irking her.
'Hey son why don't you go try to see what's wrong with her. She's your sister now after all. I've always wanted him to have another sibling.' he said continuing his conversation with the mother.
Ankur did as his dad bid and went in search of her and found her just outside leaning against the wall, looking out into the urban scenery. Rain was coming down in thick sheets, yet she didn't seem to mind it. The water plastered her clothes to her and glistened on her skin, her denim jacket slowly slipping off one shoulder. He held his breath as he followed the drops trickle down her cheek and neck.
She's your step sister... He thought pinching himself mentally
She looked at him then as he strolled toward her, the rain drenching his clothes to the skin. His eyes seemed to sparkle and she wondered if they were always like that.
'You'll get pneumonia out here like this'
'So will you. And what does it matter to you. Besides I like the rain. The sounds are soothing.' His eyes fell to her mouth as she spoke, the instinctual desirous thoughts shaping in his mind increasing the more he watched her.
'Well you'll like it here then. It rains a lot' he said gazing off into the distance.' She took the opportunity to look at him as he swept his hand across his hair pulling it away from his face. His T-shirt was soaked through to his skin and she could see his muscles through the fabric, he had a good physique, lean but with well-built arms and broad shoulders and she secretly wondered how it would look like covered in rain drops. She shuddered and tried to find a distraction in the view before her.
'I didn't want to come here... my free will means nothing when it comes to my mother's needs.'
He looked at her sympathetically.
'My will doesn't count either. We don't have any say in this new arrangement, we're just their kids.' Despite the chill he felt a sudden burst of fury. Leftovers, unwanted by the very people who brought them to the world.
'No we sure don't. They'll do whatever the heck they want while we are stuck with only each other. I barely know you' she said casting a furtive look his way
'Well, maybe after a few days or so we might get to know each other better' he suggested and continued 'although I know you like rain, so that's one thing' he spoke in rather a husky tone while a mischievous glint lit his eyes. Something in the way he said that sent a shiver down her spine, she returned him smile and looked away again as the rain kept pounded down. She blinked the water from her eyes and he stole a look at her, his eyes traveled down face and the exposed skin of her throat and chest and he felt his throat go dry as he watched her arch her neck and close her eyes against the beating rain.
Before he knew what he was doing he stalked up to her to face her. She was still leaning back against the wall hands in her pockets. She opened her eyes and should have reproached him for jumping up on her like that but at such a close proximity she felt all good sense desert her.
'Shall we go back in?' He said softly gazing into her eyes. 'I'm supposed to show you around' he added.
'Maybe.' She replied back trying to meet his penetrating gaze
He was so close now that her heart started to beat faster she could feel his breath mix with hers. Her mouth parted as if in invitation to his intimacy. He looked at her mouth and neck achingly leaning into her but stopped himself, swallowing an urge to feel her skin with his mouth. She felt a pang of disappointment as he drew back.
She's your step sister...And he wanted her.
'Come on then.' He said turning around and frowning to himself while she followed his lead as he hurriedly walked in front. She was thankful for the rain that masked her feeling of shame. What was that? He had nearly kissed her and she hadn't objected to it, what anyone else would perceive as highly inappropriate. Screw anyone else, screw social taboos and constraints. She thought, her rebellious streak surfacing.
Yet she was feeling a wave of apprehension sweep over her as they came in through the back gate and walked up the back stairs. He opened the door for her and followed her inside as she headed past him reluctantly, shrinking from his stare. She stopped in her tracks as he closed the door behind him.
'I want to go to my mother' she said turning to face him, creasing her eyebrows in worry.
'Oh...ok.. sure' he said almost resignedly while she sighed with relief.
She barely trusted herself let alone this new stranger about to enter her life. These new feelings frightened her and she just wished to be somewhere familiar even if it were her mother. She took the lead as he followed her closely from behind down the stairs.
They came into the front room both dripping water with every step they took. Their parents weren't there. They searched the house in confusion calling their parents but getting no response.
'The car's gone' he said looking out of the window.
'They could have told us they were going out.' She scoffed.
He opened the door to the guest room for her and let her in, his eyes wandered down her slim figure as she started to take it in. She was still incensed that her mother had given her no warning. She'd had told her that they would only pay them a short visit, and as her daughter she was obliged to meet this new family. And now she'd just left her alone in the house with this stranger. She didn't know then that her mother had left her to get on with her life for good.
'It's beautiful' she said gazing out the window upon the landscape. 'You've got the best views' she said flashing him a smile.
He pulled out one of his shirts from the cupboard and handed it to her.
'Sorry, you'll have to wear this for now. You better get change of you'll catch a cold' he said warmly
'Right sir.' She said jokingly. He smirked. Just don't call me brother he thought as he left the room.
She slipped into his jumper long enough to transform as a short dress for her. She then opened the door, the door to his room was slightly ajar and her eyes fell on him as he changed.
She watched the way and his abs and muscles flexed as he pulled his jacket then shirt off his body exposing a well-toned chest and strong biceps and felt a shudder ripple through her. As he dried his skin, her eyes fell on the tattoos upon his arms and chest. He caught her looking at him and smirked inwardly before walking to her and offering her a fresh towel while she quickly looked away in embarrassment and felt his body heat as he neared her. Her eyes fell onto the tattoos upon his arm.
'Cool tattoos.' She exclaimed searching for a distraction even though she actually did find them cool.
'Thanks' he said amused by her fascination as she studied them.
She asked him about the meanings behind them while he explained it to her convincing her that each and every single detail was important as much as the procedure itself.
He watched her intensely as she started to trail her slender fingers absently along his arm.
'Impressive' she said dreamily.
'Would like to get one? I'm a tattoo artist'
'What? No?! You did these yourself?!' He smiled at her astonishment
'Yes, I have my own studio, quite pricey but as I'm the only artist in this neighborhood, it only seems fair. Well? Fancy having one?'
'I don't know, they hurt don't they' she said doubtfully and moved her hand unconsciously to rub her arm.
'It's not about the pain. It's about making a mark that will scar you your whole life and rot along with your body till death.' He said morbidly, unsmiling.
'How..delightful.' She replied edgily unsure whether she was supposed to laugh or not.
'I meant that in a good way.' He smiled. I can give you a free one if you like, you won't regret it.'
She looked at him uncertainly but made up her mind there and then. Her mother wouldn't care either way.
'Sure, why the heck not.'
They were in the basement of the house where he had set up his private studio and she'd asked him to do it before their parents returned. She was leaning against the wall lost in her own thoughts as he glanced at her trying to avoid staring at her silky legs.
'Since you're the expert, where on my body should I get a tattoo' she said boldly. She tried her best to sound unfazed by the prospect that was secretly scaring her.
'Maybe your back, it's the best place for it, more for your money, larger surface area. Not that I'm charging you of course' he added with a smile. It was the safest spot, and he'd be able to focus better with her back to him. Your step sister. His darn conscious reminded him.
'Cool. Where do you want me?' She said provocatively. He led her to the reclining chair as she positioned her legs on either side of it before leaning down along it, and he scolded himself for letting his imagination run away. She grew conscious of him as he quietly sat right behind her. She raised herself up and tilted her head his way
'Ankur, I'm not sure...' she began hesitantly.
He gripped her gently by her shoulders and spoke softly enjoying the way her tongue had slurred while she had said his name
'Relax, there's nothing to worry about.' He said squeezing her shoulders to reassure her. Loosen up a little. I'll be gentle... You just think of how it would look when it's done'. Flying doves leaving a nest. He hadn't laughed when she'd described what she had in mind, it wasn't as cool as some of the samples he'd shown her of dragons, flames, spiky looking things. He was apparently used to receiving weirder requests.
She started to feel uncomfortable at their intense proximity, as he set her to lay back down before unbuttoning the back of the jumper to expose her back and as if sensing her discomfort he put her at ease as he started to break the silence with talk about all the different designs he'd been working on. It also distracted his mind as it was all he could do to resist doing things to her as she lay in a rather alluring position, to explore her fragile skin with his hands... He quickly took hold of the tools to start. He'd never been unprofessional in his work, but he hadn't met anyone as beautiful as her. Your step sister.
'Hold still' he said
She felt the needle pierce her and gasped in shock feeling sudden tears well up in her eyes
'Are you alright?' He asked her softly. She nodded trying to repress her impulse to scream as she felt an excruciating pain sear through her back, as he started dragging and pulling the killer tool along her skin. At one point she bit so hard on her lip till she felt a bead of blood trickle down her mouth and felt her skin rupture under the pressure of the needle. A flying dove leaving its nest, a flying dove...
Her eyes were screwed tightly shut as Ankur laid one hand on her back while working the needle across her skin re positioning it now and then as he worked across her back, his warm hand on her skin was a welcome contrast to the discomfort she was feeling and he kept dabbing the area with a wet cloth.
'I know 1st times can be painful, but eventually your body gets so used to it that it stops feeling any pain at all, however sharp the needle is.' He said
'It does?' She asked in slight disbelief
'Yes.' He was leaning right up to her now as she felt his breath against her skin while he worked and she shut her eyes.
'Don't fight the pain. Feel it. Accept it.' he whispered into her ear almost sensually
She furrowed her eyes in confusion. What?' she asked. She desperately rummaged around inside her head trying to distract the present pain with mental images of seas, clouds, waterfalls, but his voice came ringing through again dragging her back out.
'Your back is burning red and this needle is cutting through your skin, live it. Your mum abandoned you, she doesn't love you.' He snarled callously.
More painstaking sensations pierced through her and she had to clamp her hand over her mouth to quell her own urge to scream, while letting her tears fall.
'You cant escape pain, sorrow and darkness. Embrace it.' He said etching the needle deeper. The time stretched on and on and it felt like it was never going to end. She hadn't experienced such agonizing pain before. Not even on her cycle days.
'Perfect' he said gazing with pride at the tattoo upon her back. His mark, on her body, there to stay. He traced his fingers along the patterns and felt her tremble beneath him.
'Did I hurt you?' He asked tenderly
'Not at all' she replied feigning courage and furrowed her eyes perplexed by his sudden change of temperament when not just seconds before she'd been certain that she heard him speaking in vicious tones to her. She was recoiling from the aftermath of it but found herself enjoying his warm breath on her back as he started to gently blow on her skin.
'Your skin might take a while to lose its redness, but that's normal.'
She lay there for a while unsure what she was required to do next. She felt his eyes trail down her back while he fought an urge to explore her skin with his mouth and got up immediately before she did the same.
He brought the mirror holding it up behind her.
'Meet the new you.'
'Oh! It's stunning! I don't believe you did that, what a transformation.'
That hadn't been her last tattoo either. She found the whole process addictive and so from then on there were many occasions where he'd take her down to the basement and fulfill her somewhat modest requests. The days went by and their sessions became much more intense. The tattoo fixation was contagious and he'd passed it onto her and she enjoyed the pain of it because it made her forget the emptiness within her caused by a neglected childhood. The art work that resulted was more of a bonus than anything else. Then there was him controlling it all. The feel of his warm fingers along her skin was exhilarating while her inner voice rebuked her for holding such dangerous thoughts.
The following morning she had risen early and felt a sudden need for fresh air so she stepped outside but didn't go too far. She was massaging her neck, a look of wistful longing emanating from her gaze as she looked into the distance that was devoid of any sign of life, no birds to be seen nor were people milling about as they had been when she'd first arrive yesterday. It was an odd neighborhood and it would take a while to ease herself into life here even though she was an urban girl, she just hated the thought of having to move all the time. This place was dead. Sensing someone's presence nearby she looked about her and when seeing no one tilted her head up and saw him. He was on the balcony resting his elbow on the ledge and leaning on one hand while gazing down upon her. Had he been watching her all this time?
They were lost in each other for a while neither of them breaking off the contact as they continued to scrutinize one another from afar. His eyes were enchanting even from such a distance of height and she felt herself fall into a daze just looking into them. Just then his father appeared on the balcony and she looked away again. He was starting to ramble on about something to Ankur but his mind was distracted as he watched her from the corner of his eyes watching her run her hand through her long hair.
'Ankur?'
'Yeah papa'
'What are you looking at?' His dad said following his gaze and seeing the girl sat on the ground.
'Nothing' Ankur said guilty. His dad eyed him with suspicion before saying
'Hmm. Son, I have a serious thing going on with that girl's mother so you better not do anything to ruin it.'
'What d'you mean? You think I have nothing better to do that I'd go out of my way to ruin your relationship with that marriage breaker. I may not like her but I'm not that petty dearest father.' He said sarcastically before going back inside leaving his dad standing dumbfounded. It was the last they both saw of their parents.
It had been a good month since she had been abandoned by her mom without a word of warning. She was growing used to just her and Ankur in the house now. They didn't talk about it but the fact that their parents had neglected them both brought them closer. She thought she would have been bored throughout the whole summer not knowing anyone around this area but Ankur had proven to be good company for lonely times. He'd take her out to drive in movies and late night gigs. He'd also shown her his street studio and introduced her to his gang. Rajbir the Soc's ringleader then, had tried to make moves on her when she had gone for a stroll once but Ankur had protected her from his advances.
He would protect her fiercely and it made her feel special to have him body-guarding her and constantly keeping watch on her wherever she went. Everyone of Ankur's friends were surprised to meet her as they'd never known he had a sister, he had decided he'd keep them under that impression and for some reason she felt much safer that way. She guessed if people came to know that they were living together and were neither married nor related they would be subjected to disgrace. Society would be ready to jump on every opportunity to throw judgement and scorn at that fact. There was something worse than that though. Something brewing under the surface, that would cause even more turmoil, neither of them wanting to admit to it. The tension between them had grown the more they spent time together. To the outside world they were related but to each other they were merely strangers from circumstances that forced them together. Their edginess with each other was a result of their forbidden feelings and attraction for one another that they'd repress since they first laid eyes on each other.
Then the night had arrived when they'd overstepped the line.
She'd wondered how they had contained their urges for so long but the tension between them was increasing with each day. That night, she was about to go out as she had been asked out on a date with a prospective suitor and at first she was reluctant to accept his invite but Ankur had persuaded her and had bought her a dress asking her to try it. She changed into it but couldn't stop trembling from the nervousness of going on a date. So he had given her a few drinks to help dissipate her nerves. She had drained her glass then burst into tears saying she didn't want to marry so soon. He hadn't seen her cry before, his face had softened and he pulled her in a hug as she wept on his shoulder. He had comforted her, cradling her in his strong arms and stroking her long soft hair. When she stopped she had drawn back and gazed at him softly, an inquisitive look in her eyes as he fixed his eyes intensely on her. Something was stirring inside her, it could have been just the drink but her senses were lost to him and she pushed into him till he fell back into a chair and sat on his lap sliding her hand up his chest before leaning into him slowly, she kissed his forehead, feeling his breath warm against her neck. Your step sister. The voice inside him said. No she's not. But she is mine. Only mine.
She felt herself growing weaker under his bewitching gaze, as he drew nearer to her till his lips grazed her skin and she felt him trail his fingers up her back. The sigh that escaped from her mouth had stirred his senses as he started to kiss her softly on her neck. She had wrestled with him at first feeling the shock of the touch of his lips on her skin but his soothing voice and touch of his hands on her skin compelled her that she gradually caved in to her urges too. Something was happening, and she was letting go, losing herself within his passionate embraces sliding her arms round his shoulders pulling him closer as he kissed her neck. Just as it happened her inner voice struck and so she pushed him away and walked off into her room but he just as quickly pursued her before seizing her by her waist and pressing his mouth into hers... He was luring her into a darker world, one that consisted of just her and him. This time, she let him in.
All these thoughts came pouring back to her in all its humiliating vivid clarity as if it only happened yesterday. They'd taken things too far that there was no turning back. It had been her biggest mistake and haunted her to this day. Their relationship had taken a complex turn that day and they were both at fault for indulging in each other. The absence of parents in their lives made them seek each other out for comfort both emotional and physical. Ankur would often remind her how her mother had forsaken her and did not care one bit for her, she didn't need him to tell her that, she knew it, but it gave him some reason to go on loving her. Yet as time went on she became more distant, realizing that her mother may have been right about him as much as she hated to admit that her mother could be right about anything. The tattoos had been a constant reminder of her guilt that she avoided looking in the mirror as much as she could. Garv was clueless to all of it and she'd rather die than having to disclose about her relationship to him. And now he had taken Garv away from her too. Just like how he had kept her away from getting back with her mother. How her heart ached to see Garv again, to hear his soft voice, feel his touches and wash away her horrendous past in his sweet love. She would have to do something. She didn't want to live here anymore.
Edited by daenerysnow - 8 years ago
Debate Mansion
