Dev - the cash cow

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skar1984

@skar1984

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

Hi All,

I know the forum has been ablaze with activity in light of Dev and Sonakshi's impending nuptials.

What I wanted to discuss was Ishwari's psychology in all this. I know a lot has been said about her and I am certainly not sympathizing nor am I condoning her antics.

What I am going to discuss is what I sense in watching the episodes leading up to her "Acceptance" of Sonakshi and her obsession to bring Sona back into Dev's life.

From the start we have seen Ishwari brainwash/manipulate Dev to the point where his sole aim in life was to study to make something of himself so he could be the main provider of the family. It was ingrained into his psyche that he had to take care of them and cater to their every need - which he did so selflessly to the point he never really acknowledged nor explored who "Dev" really is, what are HIS hopes, dreams, desires?

Not to mention the status quo on all this was that Dev and his mother were a team a special unit where they "understood" each other so well and Dev treated Ishwari has his "God". Interestingly Ishwari never challenged that pedestal - she never tried to bring herself back to normal human status with flaws - Dev made her his god and in turn she believed (perhaps subconsciously) that she IS his God. She brought him into this world, she made him so he must obey her every command.

With Sona's entry this status quo was threatened and that's why despite knowing that Sona is a good person she couldn't handle having someone else lay claim to Dev's attention and affection. Initially I thought it was perhaps a bunch of different insecurities - feeling left out, a sense of loss now that Dev has someone else important in his life etc but ultimately now I think it comes back to economics.

Initially Ishwari didn't want Sona in Dev's life because she feared he'd neglect his business (in addition to all the other insecurities) but then she saw that Dev was on a path of self destruction with out Sona - as if the life had been sucked out of him - which in turn means monetary loss to the business.

That's probably IMO the biggest factor that titled her scale otherwise and she went on the "Redemption" path of getting Dev his "happiness" back by getting Sonakshi back. IMO she only did this because Dev can't function with out Sona now - so its almost like school days where she worked day and night to provide for the nessecary tools to study - She's using Sona as just that - a tool/toy that Dev now requires to continue functioning which in turn means financial gain for the family. Thats the same reason she wanted Sona to sign the prenup - her exact words to Sona's father "Dev has worked very hard to build this business, that's all our family has" - that's the bottom line - its nothing but self preservation with her - she's always treated her daughters differently - probably because she knows that they will eventually get married and move on in life - she has to cling on to Dev for survival - that's all she knows.

I just see Ishwari viewing Dev as a cash cow - more than love etc - the fact that he is her provider is her prime objective - that position/interest is to be protected at all costs.

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OmNaMaSteOm

@OmNaMaSteOm

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

I see where you are coming from, I agree with you too. Ishwari always thinks of Dev's company, where even Dev does not think so much about his own company. She does not care if Dev is happy or not, but if Dev's happiness is affecting the company status then she cares for Dev's happiness. For Ishwari Sonakshi is just an outsider, which she has to accept to keep the company afloat.

But then again the CV's have kept changing Ishwari's character so much that it is confusing whether Ishwari has insecurities or she just wants grand children etc etc. The makers have created the "Ishwari confusion".

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

is there any doubt at all that this is the bare truth? Of course, Dev is the cash cow for the Dixits, Ishwari included. He is their ATM.. they do not care for his genuine happiness. All they want is for him to be able to work, and provide for all their whims and fancies.. GKB included..

the sad part is it does happen in real life too. i have seen it from close quarters...

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

A great term coined for Dev. Cash Cow! If what you say is true every son in India and these days even daughters ( because they are the bread earners for most parents) are cash cows. Father or mother they will generally look for the financial stability of the family and wish their sons or sometimes daughters get well settled in life. When the father or mother earned money for the family he will be the one who bears the responsibilities. Likewise son if grown up takes the mantle to run the family.

Nowadays even the daughters are independent self sufficient and noble hearted . After marriage also they continuously extend support to their family. Tomorrow if Sona wants to help Bijoy that also would be a nice gesture.

If son loses the job or something happens parents will get disturbed . They try to motivate him and pray for him to get back his job. Iswari is no exception. She still has two more daughters. Neha is married but still many formalities will be there to carry on. What is wrong if she felt bad when Dev neglected his company? She is a dependent now on Dev. Every parent after a stage depend on the child son or daughter. Tomorrow if Dev's son grows up he will look after the business. Then he will be called a cash cow?

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skar1984

@skar1984

Explorer

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: ltelidevara
A great term coined for Dev. Cash Cow! If what you say is true every son in India and these days even daughters ( because they are the bread earners for most parents) are cash cows. Father or mother they will generally look for the financial stability of the family and wish their sons or sometimes daughters get well settled in life. When the father or mother earned money for the family he will be the one who bears the responsibilities. Likewise son if grown up takes the mantle to run the family.
Nowadays even the daughters are independent self sufficient and noble hearted . After marriage also they continuously extend support to their family. Tomorrow if Sona wants to help Bijoy that also would be a nice gesture.
If son loses the job or something happens parents will get disturbed . They try to motivate him and pray for him to get back his job. Iswari is no exception. She still has two more daughters. Neha is married but still many formalities will be there to carry on. What is wrong if she felt bad when Dev neglected his company? She is a dependent now on Dev. Every parent after a stage depend on the child son or daughter. Tomorrow if Dev's son grows up he will look after the business. Then he will be called a cash cow?

with all due respect - i think we are viewing this from 2 very different perspectives.

I totally understand parents wanting the best for their kids, wanting them to live a life of peace and stability and financial security.

I have nothing against children helping their parents financially in their senior years - if they can they absolutely should especially if the parents need it.

What I don't agree with in the context of the show - is how Ishwari is being projected as viewing HER self interest FIRST - before evaluating how this affects Dev or what the consequences are.

Ishwari has not brought up Dev to think for himself - he's been brought up as for lack of a better analogy - a puppet - he does whatever Ishwari tells him/wants him to do. I have a huge issue with that - parents shouldn't molly coddle their kids to such an extent where they are emotionally stunted, have zero emotional intelligence and are unable to think for themselves and make their own decisions.

From where I see it, there is a huge difference in parents raising children to be self sufficient, self reliant - not just financially but emotionally and after that - if children choose to help/contribute financially that is a choice they are allowed to make and it's respected either way - Sona's family is shown to be that way - yes she was the sole earner till her brother started his sales gig - likewise when she lost her job (beginning of the show) they didn't hound her to find work - they were very positive and supportive - the dad was willing to go back/find work.

In the case of Dev - I don't see that he's being given the choice - he's been brought up with the mindset that he HAS to take care of the family - his sisters are HIS responsibility - last time I checked, children were the responsibility of parents - not siblings. Dev is their brother - not father.

This is where I find Ishwari selfish - she's only looking at this from what is her profit/loss.

Choosing to do something for your family is one thing and that is very different from being brainwashed into thinking your responsibilites for your family come first and foremost - everything else including your own personal happiness is secondary.

Hopefully that makes more sense.

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: skar1984

with all due respect - i think we are viewing this from 2 very different perspectives.
I totally understand parents wanting the best for their kids, wanting them to live a life of peace and stability and financial security.
I have nothing against children helping their parents financially in their senior years - if they can they absolutely should especially if the parents need it.

What I don't agree with in the context of the show - is how Ishwari is being projected as viewing HER self interest FIRST - before evaluating how this affects Dev or what the consequences are.
Ishwari has not brought up Dev to think for himself - he's been brought up as for lack of a better analogy - a puppet - he does whatever Ishwari tells him/wants him to do. I have a huge issue with that - parents shouldn't molly coddle their kids to such an extent where they are emotionally stunted, have zero emotional intelligence and are unable to think for themselves and make their own decisions.

From where I see it, there is a huge difference in parents raising children to be self sufficient, self reliant - not just financially but emotionally and after that - if children choose to help/contribute financially that is a choice they are allowed to make and it's respected either way - Sona's family is shown to be that way - yes she was the sole earner till her brother started his sales gig - likewise when she lost her job (beginning of the show) they didn't hound her to find work - they were very positive and supportive - the dad was willing to go back/find work.

In the case of Dev - I don't see that he's being given the choice - he's been brought up with the mindset that he HAS to take care of the family - his sisters are HIS responsibility - last time I checked, children were the responsibility of parents - not siblings. Dev is their brother - not father.
This is where I find Ishwari selfish - she's only looking at this from what is her profit/loss.

Choosing to do something for your family is one thing and that is very different from being brainwashed into thinking your responsibilites for your family come first and foremost - everything else including your own personal happiness is secondary.

Hopefully that makes more sense.

Yes there is a huge difference of perspectives in our thought process. It was not a choice to me to take over the responsibility. It is the duty. Siblings are a part of the family who should be taken care of by the brother. It is his choice whether he would them be self sufficient or get them married.

Iswari doesn't need to brainwash Dev to look after the family. He saw before his eyes how his mother worked hard to survive. He himself asked his Mama not to feel bad and stay with him as he felt indebted to him for giving them shelter.

In many families parents pass away and Eldest will bear the responsibility.Even daughters are committed to this cause. When Saurav couldn't earn money Bijoy harassed him so much. Still he insults him. Reason? He doesn't like Saurav's option to earn money.

Yes it is duty to me and choice to you. We are poles apart.

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: skar1984

with all due respect - i think we are viewing this from 2 very different perspectives.
I totally understand parents wanting the best for their kids, wanting them to live a life of peace and stability and financial security.
I have nothing against children helping their parents financially in their senior years - if they can they absolutely should especially if the parents need it.

What I don't agree with in the context of the show - is how Ishwari is being projected as viewing HER self interest FIRST - before evaluating how this affects Dev or what the consequences are.
Ishwari has not brought up Dev to think for himself - he's been brought up as for lack of a better analogy - a puppet - he does whatever Ishwari tells him/wants him to do. I have a huge issue with that - parents shouldn't molly coddle their kids to such an extent where they are emotionally stunted, have zero emotional intelligence and are unable to think for themselves and make their own decisions.

From where I see it, there is a huge difference in parents raising children to be self sufficient, self reliant - not just financially but emotionally and after that - if children choose to help/contribute financially that is a choice they are allowed to make and it's respected either way - Sona's family is shown to be that way - yes she was the sole earner till her brother started his sales gig - likewise when she lost her job (beginning of the show) they didn't hound her to find work - they were very positive and supportive - the dad was willing to go back/find work.

In the case of Dev - I don't see that he's being given the choice - he's been brought up with the mindset that he HAS to take care of the family - his sisters are HIS responsibility - last time I checked, children were the responsibility of parents - not siblings. Dev is their brother - not father.
This is where I find Ishwari selfish - she's only looking at this from what is her profit/loss.

Choosing to do something for your family is one thing and that is very different from being brainwashed into thinking your responsibilites for your family come first and foremost - everything else including your own personal happiness is secondary.

Hopefully that makes more sense.

well said and i agree with your perspective. it is not a nick name being given to Dev.. The fear of responsibility has been put into him right from childhood and that has made him this skewed, but still very lovable, person. He has, as Sona keeps telling him, not learnt to live for himself (said not in a negative way), and to understand that if he enjoys his life, gives himself priority, then all else will be fine.

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LovePraja

@LovePraja

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

U know I was thinking of coming up with something like this, about how Ishwari might or might not accept Sonakshi from now on...

Ishwari is a very intriguing character on TV... And many ppl in this forum have tried to understand her personality but I don't think anyone's close to know what the real Ishwari's like... We have seen how she has been pushed by her insecurities and fears...

U have pointed out that for her Dev's economic wealth is all that matters... But no that's not the case... For her Dev is not a cash cow but a family's bread winner. One who shoulders d responsibilities and meets d needs of everyone...

But this is something that almost every man/son does according to his income.

But Dev does all this to please his mother. He does everything on his own but makes it appear it to be his mother's( God's) command. He ensures that she's truly happy with whatever he does. And she knows how much he values her...

( m trying to say that there is emotional connect that financial)

And as far as his business is concerned ; all his achievements are matter of pride for her... He has given her all d credits to her... And she too has shown importance to his work commitments above anything else... I mean she had never asked him to spend time with his sisters at home than office... ( if remember when Dev broke Sona's phone in anger, Ishwari was justifying how work is important for her son )

And now with Sonakshi entering his life she's more protective of his wealth. She believes that prenup agreement will safeguard her daughters' life too... But this is just one aspect of it. Somewhere she doesn't believe in Sonakshi... She thinks or may be even hopes that devakshi might split one day. And in that case Sona might manipulate to claim half of Dev's property.

She doesn't mind giving money to Sonakshi or to anyone for that matter. She has never been money minded. Otherwise she wouldn't spend 15lakhs for her lehenga. But she won't anyone make a claim on her real wealth that is Dev.

Right now she's content that she's d only reason that devakshi got marriage. Her wealth (Dev) and his toy ( Sona) both r under her control.

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Dev - the cash cow

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