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Chapter - 23
World Trapped In Time
She counted days like she would count stars in the night sky when she was small. She knew the day would come soon when she shall see everyone. She would see Maan! How long has it been since she last saw him? More than three, as per her calculations. Three months and 2 weeks. It felt like eternities have passed since that accident and she had come a long way but she was still trapped in that time frame. Everyone had moved on since that day. She had healed physically too. But her time remained frozen in the darkness that surrounded her. there was a time when she had opened her eyes in the hospital and has seen the light fading away from her eyes slowly. She had cried and screamed and crumbled down like a mountain would. Her mother was there too; so was her father; but she didn't want anyone around her then. She didn't even want Maan to see her. and seeing her so broken, Maan had sent everyone back home, telling her that he would take care of her, all alone. She knew of that. She knew Maan didn't allow anyone to come to them until she was stable. And only then, he had allowed Naina to be there and the nurse too.
"Now, Mrs. Khurana, just try to open your eyes slowly; very slowly. And if the light hurts, let us know."
She was in the hospital with her mother and the doctors were doing a preliminary check on her recovery. As much as she had wanted Maan to be with her, she wanted him to take care of his work too. And so, she had somehow convinced him and sent him off. he was slowly getting back to the work he had left mid way and she would never let anything disturb him anymore. She had done enough damage. The least she could do now was to let him go.
Her eye lids felt heavy. She had tried her best to follow every damned rule post her operation so that it didn't worry Maan anymore. It felt an arduous task to even lift her lids but she did. The first beam of the dim light stroked her and she flinched. She knew the doctors observed her keenly and she tried a little more. She succeeded too but she could barely open her eyes. Whatever little she had lifted her lids closed shut due to the light. She wasn't acquainted to light anymore and her eyes gave reflex actions. She tried once again and this time, she saw a little of everything but blurred and hazy. Her eyes closed again and she was back in the darkness she had been. Her time froze again. once again, she was a world trapped in time.
"How was your hospital visit today?" he asked over the phone.
"It was good Maan. They said I would take a few days to open my eyes completely. Just to help, Lizzie is here!"
He listened to her and felt happy. How he wished he were there with her when she opened her eyes. But responsibilities had called him and she had sent him off like a brave woman. He knew she wanted him to be with her too.
"Geet, I just want to go back home."
"its just a two days trip Maan."
"I'm sorry Love. I so want to be there, with you..."
"You, Maan Khurana, are not allowed home until you finish your work!" she interrupted him in a playful tone.
"Spoken like a typical wife!" he sighed on the other side.
She laughed and he loved that sound. It felt ages since he had heard her like this.
"Yes, the wife demands it!"
"As you wish, Your Highness." He teased. And once again, her heard that laughter that he had missed for so long.
"Geet, Listen."
"yes?"
"I am coming home in two days. Just wait for me." he spoke in a slow and serious tone, making her heart flutter in anxiety. Two days more!
Just
Two
More
Days!
He drove home and found it empty. The house help informed him that his wife and mother were out for a walk. It was dusk and he knew she was still not allowed to go out in bright light. So, she chose the evening to take her walk. He knew from her that she could open her eyes in dim lights but she saw things in blur. He knew she could recognize shapes through her hazy vision and that she was slowly improving. Taking off his suit and tie, he switched on the music player and queued up his favourite tracks and went to freshen up.
Her heart skipped beats noticing his car in the porch. He was home! She would be able to see him. She would see him after three months and two weeks. Once again, her frozen time started to thaw, bit by bit. Her mother noticed the sudden glow on her face and went to get the dinner ready, leaving her alone. And she, with her little hazy vision, walked up the stairs, her heart beats echoing in her ears. She recalled when she first saw her house after months. Just like the last time she had seen it... it remained the same. The same sky blue drapes, the same couch, the same dark wood panelled doors and the same carpeted floor. The time between his absence and his presence had given her ample time to get her vision clearer than before and her doctors had been very happy about it too.
She stopped by the door to her room and kept her hand on the knob. A butterfly danced in her stomach and then it ignited many more such dances. Holding her thudding heart, she pushed open the door but immediately closed her eyes. The lights were bright. She still wasn't accustomed to the brightness. A faint music echoed and she realized that he had left the music player on. She, with her deftly calculated steps, made her way towards the switches and turned on the dim night lights of her room. The brighter ones were gone and a warm yellow light spread around her.
Maan only played music when he was completely alone and not working. She knew it. he never played music even when she was around. There are things her husband did only when he was all by himself and she respected that. That was his muse. And today, he was playing one of his favourite music.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
She had almost cried when she had seen her room the previous day... and today her eyes fell on the clothes he left on the bed. She had missed this. She had missed him. she ran her hand on his discarded suit and picked it up. The music went on. Her eyes welled up but she didn't let her tears fall. She pressed the cloth close to her heart and recalled his face; the last time she had seen him. his scent still remained in traces and it almost made her cry.
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you
He walked out of the washroom and saw his wife, standing by the bed, holding something. Her back faced him so he wasn't sure what she was doing. But he saw her stiffen and he knew she realized his presence. They stood like that, time stretching between them like ocean and he felt like he went back to the time when he saw her first, under that bakula tree, facing away from him.
"Jasmine" He uttered.
She bit her lips and closed her eyes shut. She didn't even have any more courage to just turn back and see him. She felt her energy draining out of her. Wasn't she excited to see him? wasn't she begging to the Gods for this time to arrive early? A sob raked her body and she pressed the cloth close to her mouth from crying. She had waited for eternities for this day to arrive yet she couldn't make herself to face her reality. It was this moment when she realized that her world was still frozen. And she was still a world, trapped in time.
Jasmine...
She went back to the times of the past and shook her head, denying something.
"Look at me Jasmine..." he called her lovingly. And she shook her head again. the time stopped for them but only the music flowed in rhythm.
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every move
He stepped closer and closer until he stood right behind her.
"Please Geet, show yourself to me."
His voice cracked, telling her of the emotional turmoil that he was in too. She was not the only one.
"No.." she whispered.
She felt his arms slide around her waist and pull her back, gently in his arms. She shivered and hid her face in his suit. His touch felt so new and fresh. The scent of his soap filled her with sensations she was running away from.
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
He leaned over and kissed her shoulder, "Geet, please. End this. Let me see you. Please."
His desperation mirrored hers. She wanted to turn back and capture him in her eyes but she was overpowered by her emotions.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all, all of you
He took the remote and turned off the stereo, giving an abrupt end to the music and turned her to face him. Tipping his chin, he raised her face and found her eyes shut. Her tears glistened in the dim light and her lips trembled.
"Geet, open your eyes Love, don't punish me like this."
She hung her head down and then gave up the fight she was fighting within. She cried. She left his suit, hugged him close and cried. She didn't open her eyes and she kept crying. She cried for the days she had been in the darkness; for the pain she caused him with her depression; she cried for the overwhelming feeling that she would see him finally... and she cried for every damn reason that let them see such days. He held her and he let her cry. She was letting out all that she had held back all these days. It took her some time to calm down and when she was only down to hiccups, he cupped her cheeks and kissed her lips. She cried in his mouth and his hands kept rubbing her back.
"Its over now..." he broke apart and cupped her cheeks. He raised her head so that their eyes would meet, "I am here. And Its Over."
She gulped down that lump in her throat and felt his thumbs wiping away her tears. It was time. She would end this today and forever. She remained still in his arms and slowly opened her eyes, like a new born baby. She saw nothing but a pair of brown eyes peering back at him. Brown... the color of his eyes! She had forgotten how it felt to look at him in the eye. She pushed away his hands that held her and took a step back. He seemed to have frozen on his feet for he just looked at her with emotions she couldn't understand. As such she was troubled by her own. she looked at his face...and remained still, like she was seeing him for the first time. Thousands of times she had imagined in her head as to how he looked but nothing of her imagination came remotely close to the reality. He was bare on the chest and she took in the view of his olive skin, shining in the light. She had thought to find difference between what he looked then, before her accident, and what he looked now but nothing cropped in her mind now.
She looked up again to his face and in one stride, she was in his arms, running her fingers over his face, his nose, his cheeks, his eyes, his lips, his chin... trying to connect her sensations of touch with her sensation of sight.
"Is it a dream?", she cried, "if it is, then I don't want to open my eyes ever!"
He held her palm and pressed a kiss on it, "Its real Geet. It is as real as our own existence."
"What...what if I can't see tomorrow? What if I wake up and all this will vanish?"
He held her by her shoulders and turned her towards the mirror that stood beside their bed and rested his head on her shoulder, "Look at us Geet...Do you think I care about tomorrow? Nothing is a dream now. And Nothing will vanish, as long as am here."
She didn't know what to feel or think because it felt all so surreal. Seeing her so numb, he pressed a kiss on her cheek, "how long will it take to do away with this brightness thing?"
"A week more may be. I still see things hazy."
He lifted her up by her waist and she squealed, "wh...what are you doing?"
He smiled and put her down, right in front of the mirror, close enough to make her see things clearly, "Now, Look at us. Do you see us hazy?"
"No." she whispered and smiled.
She kept staring at their reflection in silence for a while until he lifted her up again, this time in his arms and she gasped, clutching him tight. He carried her to the bed and put her down. She gulped hard, thinking what would come next and held her breath in anticipation but then smiled seeing him lie beside her. he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her lovingly.
"Talk to me Geet. And just keep your eyes on me."
She turned to him and kept her hand on his waist, "My eyes are just for you
Maan."
"You know what, bro and bhabhi are waiting for you to go home and name their son."
Her eyes widened in joy, "Really? They haven't named him yet?"
He laughed seeing her childlike happiness, "Yes. I talked to dadima this morning. They pet named him as Garv but they will put the name on papers only when you are home."
She raised her arm and played with his hair... it felt eons that she had felt his like this.
"I can't wait to go home and hold little Garv in my arms."
"We will go once you are completely fine."
She twisted her lips, "Am fine now Maan."
"yes yes, you are fine but we need a little more time."
He was so glad to see her gaining back her confidence. More than her, he felt like crying; for once, breaking down and letting all his fears out. But seeing her so happy, he didn't dare to let it out. She would eventually take it away with her love, he knew. They had dinner together, talking and laughing and he just watched her in awe. And when he wasn't watching, Geet glanced at him, lost in her own thoughts.
It was past mid night and she couldn't sleep. Her thoughts kept her awake. She switched on her side of the bed lamp and looked at her husband, sleeping peacefully, on his stomach. She wanted to run a hand on his forehead but then her own thoughts stopped her. She got off the bed and stood in front of the mirror. The light from the fragile bed lamp was weak but that was more than enough for her. she glanced at Maan for a while and sighed in relief realizing he was fast asleep.
She looked at her reflection and examined herself. She had fading scratch marks on her elbow and hands. There was one on her forehead, telling her how it had bled from there. they were fading. But there was something else. she pulled up her knee length nighty and tossed it over her head and stood stark naked. She leaned a little closer to examine herself and gasped in horror of the view she presented.
She was nothing but covered with bruises and stitches! The stitches had been removed but the marks were very much there. very prominent. One big dirty mark sat right on her abdomen triumphantly, teasing her to numbness. Her skin had wrinkled there and it scared her. slowly and with trembling fingers, she traced it and pressed it gently. It still hurt. she bit her lips to stop the sound she made, lest Maan woke up and found her like this. She traced her hands over her stomach and stopped at another dirty mark at the side of her ribs. There was another wound, black and fading on her shoulder and cut marks on her thighs. She presented a very ugly sight. A disgusting sight. She pressed her hands over her mouth to stop the screams that remained at the back of her throat. So this is why earlier this evening Maan had avoided her. that ugly disturbing wound on her abdomen had put her in such a state. Her eyes burned with tears but she didn't look away from her reflection. She just glared at herself. She looked ugly. Her skin no longer remained soft and smooth that Maan had liked and loved. She felt angry and hot tears rolled down her cheeks. Her legs trembled. So this is why...
She felt a sudden pull and then she was hauled into his chest. He covered her face in his chest and hid her in his embrace.
"Why are you not asleep? And Why are you standing here like this?" he screamed at her.
He had woken up, not finding her beside him and he was scared to see her standing naked and like a statue. He didn't want her to see herself like this! Not today! not when she was so happy. And then the fleeting emotions of her face had scared him more than her surgery. He knew what she thought. He knew she despised herself and he wouldn't let that happen. So, he rushed to her, pulled her in his arms and hid her face so that she couldn't see anything anymore.
She clutched his shirt and tried to push him away. She was angry, he could gauge it. she knew he'd be mad at her but she didn't care. She pushed at his chest and freed herself and glared at him. he was angry, as expected.
"What in the world are you doing here Geet? Come back to bed."
He picked her nighty from the floor and pushed it down her head but she resisted and pulled it off.
"Geet..stop that." He warned. But she couldn't care less. He held her hand but she pushed him away! He glared at her.
"This is why.." she seethed in anger, "So, this is why you are pushing me away... avoiding me. right?"
She had never known a Maan who restrained himself whenever she was around. And today, when she was throwing herself at him, he didn't even look at her. and when she saw what had become of her, she was angry. Angry at herself that she became so. Angry at herself that Maan wouldn't love her like he always did.
"What are you mumbling about? I never avoided you. Wear your dress and come to bed."
"NO!", she turned back to look at herself in the mirror, "because I look ugly, you wouldn't come close to me."
Hot, angry tears rolled down her eyes. She had never known a Maan who held himself back.
"Because I look like this, you won't make love to me." she spoke with a hatred that pierced his heart. he watched her trace her wounds cruelly, digging her fingers there. he clenched his jaws and pulled her hand away, "It is NOT like that!"
"then what is it? What is it that is holding you back?" she hissed with hatred pouring out of her.
"Geet... stop..."
"No. I am not beautiful anymore. I am not the old Geet you desired. I am ugly. And that is why you don't want me anymore."
He now knew what had gripped her mind when she saw herself like that. His fears had come true. He had to make her trust herself. She could never be ugly. to him, she was the definition of everything pristine. He hadn't felt the need to prove that to her until now.
He watched her lips tremble and walked closer to her. threading his fingers into that thick mane of hers, he pulled her close.
"You have no idea how much and in how many ways I have desired you Geet, wanted you bad...so bad until you forget who you are and scream my name until your voice grew hoarse. And You tell me I don't want you anymore?"
He held her still with his eyes, boring into her. he watched his words take effect on her. he knew well that all she needed was his assurance. That was enough for her to hold on to sanity.
"Did you forget the time when I made love to you in the hall when you still couldn't see? Your wounds were worse then. But did it stop me in anyway? Do you even know how many times I have dreamed of taking you in; in the rawest ways possible? And you tell me I don't want you anymore?"
Her eyes held a fire that now burned brighter than ever. She leaned into his touch and kept looking at his changing expressions.
"Then I want you to want me now!"
His eyes grew darker long with hers and she took hold of his other hand and slipped it round her waist, "Want me now and make me feel beautiful Maan."
His warm palm traced her bare skin, making her sigh in pleasure, "You make me insatiable Jasmine..."
She pressed her lips on his, eating away his words. she knew all she needed was the appreciative glance of this one man and she would be beautiful again. she smiled into the kiss as he took the lead. He was her Midas and she would turn gold under his touch.
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>>For those who are wondering what was the song in the update about, It is 'All Of Me' by John Legend. One of the most beautiful songs I have come across.
>> I will be a good girl once more and tell you what is next.😳
Next: the last part.
Prev: Chapter 22
Next: Last Chapter 24
>>For those who are wondering what was the song in the update about, It is 'All Of Me' by John Legend. One of the most beautiful songs I have come across.
>> I will be a good girl once more and tell you what is next.😳
Next: the last part.
Prev: Chapter 22
Next: Last Chapter 24
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Kumkum Bhagya
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