IPKKND FF: KHUSHI by JALEBI JANE Thread 1: EPISODE 001-052 - Page 64

KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 023)

WHEN HIS WIFE SAT DOWN next to him at the breakfast table, Arnav experienced a twinge of rare guilt. A soft shadow under her eyes marred her otherwise radiant complexion. Not only had he kept her up late into the night, he had interrupted her sleep twice before dawn. He really was a beast. He leaned into her and spoke in a low voice. "I want you to take a nap this afternoon." Khushi's questioning eyes turned to him. "I've worn you out," he stated.

She smiled, lowering her eyes.

"Chotte?" Nani interrupted their privacy. "What are you saying to Khushi Bitya that she looks so embarrassed?" A dozen or so eyes were immediately trained on Khushi, causing her to colour further.

Anjali could not miss an opportunity to tease her brother. "Yes, Chotte, what are you saying that cannot be shared with all of us," she giggled.

Arnav scowled at his rascally sister, but saw an opportunity to send a message to the man sitting next to her. "Di," he said, his eyes fixed on his Jijaji, "I was informing my wife that we are going on our honeymoon."

Arnav felt Khushi's look of surprise, but he could not tear himself from the delicious look of anguish on his brother-in-law's face. There rose a murmur of general endorsement from around the table. Anjali clapped her hands together.

"Excellent idea," Nani rejoiced.

Arnav felt Khushi's insistent hand on his thigh. He turned to meet her eyes and he knew immediately what her eyes communicated. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and turned to Akaash, and added, "it'll be a honeymoon for four."

That other newly married couple exchanged wide smiles. Payal could hardly prevent herself from twirling. Only two at the table were displeased: Mami---who felt she was losing her son to the conniving khoon bhari taang all over again. Shyam---who felt that Khushi was slipping even farther out of his reach.

NOTE THE CHANGE IN THIS MAN, SISTERS. Arnav Singh Raizada: the man who never took a day away from his work; the man who at one time appeared to be betrothed to his laptop, had himself come to realize that there were other pleasures in life besides his work. And, in this case, business and pleasure would both be served. For the business of destroying Shyam was never far from his mind. When he went upstairs to fetch his briefcase, Khushi followed him up---as he had fully expected her to. She closed their bedroom door and approached him as he was placing his laptop in the case.

"You ought to have asked me first," she launched at him without preamble.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Why?" was his reply.

With flashing eyes, she turned her hands up to punctuate her words, "Why!? Courtesy? Consideration?"

"You don't enjoy a surprise," he asked, moving to the wardrobe for his jacket.

Khushi followed him. "If you were truly planning this surprise, you would not have needed me to remind you to invite Jiji and Jiju."

Arnav had to concede that point to his astute wife. He had his own reasons for this sudden decision to get Khushi away, but nothing he was prepared to share with her. At least not yet. But now something else was beginning to disturb the edges of his mind. He nabbed his jacket off the hanger and slid the wardrobe door shut with more force than was required. His eyes were trained on Khushi as he slipped his jacket on.

"Why are you reluctant for us to spend time together away from Raizada House?" he asked, unable to keep the coldness out of his tone.

Khushi's eyes widened and she said, "you misunderstand me---I like to be consulted not coerced!"

"What the---!"

"First the wedding. Now the honeymoon---" Khushi began, then stopped abruptly as though she realized she had gone too far. Both were immediately silenced, and neither could look at the other. He grabbed his briefcase, marched to the door, tore them open---but then halted.

He turned to face Khushi and said, "I don't deny I forced you into this marriage. What else have I coerced you into? I'd like to know whether I'm just a villain or if I'm a rapist as well."

We should have expected this, Sisters: Arnav Singh Raizada, when wounded, retaliated by causing others injury. He said all this and then stepped out through the doors; otherwise he would have seen Khushi's face crumple with a mixture of anger and hurt.

HOW DARE HE SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! Khushi paced the length of pool area, her eyes brimming with scalding unshed tears. "Kya samajta hai vo---" she said out loud, bolting to the wardrobe for her phone. She pressed the speed dial button and before it even began to dial, she ended the call.

No, Khushi---count to ten first! She counted. Ek, do, teen... She reached ten. As a precaution, she counted backwards as well.

Nothing had altered. I am still livid; he is still at fault.

She pressed the redial button. But instantly cut the call when she heard footsteps in the hall. He's come back!

"Khushi!"

He was not back. It was Payal. Never had she been so disappointed to see her sister.

She ran to Khushi and now did twirl them both. Into a series of dizzying circles. "This is all down to you, isn't it? Thank-you-thank-you," Payal cried, embracing her.

Khushi didn't know how to respond to her sister's happiness in the face of her own devastation. What a mess! Everyone was pleased about Arnav's plan---except herself, Arnav's wife. Was she wrong to feel as she did? Why did it feel that Arnav wanted them away from Raizada House? This was connected to Shyam. She felt it. She knew it. And, his sudden anger yesterday evening---was that also due to Shyam?

"Khushi?" Payal was pulling at her hand for attention. "Where are we going on our honeymoon?"

Khushi faked a smile for her sister's pleasure. "It's a surprise!"

WE SHOULD MENTION THAT ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA regretted his harsh words almost as soon as they were spoken. But not enough. Not enough to return to the house. And certainly not enough to call Khushi once he arrived at the office. Instead he did what he knew best: he threw himself into his work, barked at everyone who came within spitting distance, and made a reasonable mess of every file he touched. His personal assistant, Aman, spent the entire morning undoing everything his employer went near.

It wasn't clear whom he was punishing most---Khushi or himself?---but for good measure he also refused to touch the lunch she and Payal prepared daily and had delivered by the driver. He handed the box back to the driver without a word.

As we all know, Arnav was not what one would call a reasonable man.' He did not consult. He knew that about himself. He also knew that nobody knew that better than Khushi. Granted, had he thought about the honeymoon in advance, he would have informed Khushi privately before announcing it as a fait accompli. But as the idea had only congealed seconds before he announced it, there was no time to prepare her.

But that was moot!

The sticking point was that Khushi had resisted him. What had she called it? Coercion! Arnav pushed away his laptop, leaned back in the chair and spun to face the wall. First the wedding. Now the honeymoon.' she had said. The words buzzed in his head. He leapt to his feet, and drew his fingers through his hair. He didn't know what to believe. He believed she loved him---then why would she resist going away with him?

Did she love him?

Shyam's innuendos---how much truth? How much venom? Did she settle for Arnav when she realized Shyam was lost to her?

No! Arnav brought his hand down on the desk and swept the corner free of files. They scattered to the floor and he looked at them without seeing them. Khushi was his.

"That is final!"

"WHAT IS FINAL?" At her words, Arnav turned his head to the doors. Khushi was clutching the lunchbox he had just returned to the driver. He straightened. "May I enter, Sir?" she asked, her heart going wild in her chest. He showed no visible interest, but gave an ambiguous shrug. But nor did he toss her out the window. That we must consider progress, Sisters.

She stepped farther into the office and placed the lunchbox on his desk. "Before you ask, I didn't come by rickshaw. I came with the driver who brought your lunch," she explained.

His face indicated nothing and Khushi comprehended why he was such a formidable business man. Those same eyes she could read well were now veiled, revealing no emotion whatsoever. Aathon pahar dil pe hai taalein. She opened the first tier of the lunchbox, removed the note she had earlier placed within and moved around the desk to stand in front of him. She handed him the folded piece of paper.

Arnav looked at it, but didn't reach for it.

"Fair enough. As it's not in braille, I'll read it to you," she ventured to tease him. Perhaps a small hint of a smile did appear on his lips---but it was so brief that Khushi felt she must have imagined it.

She read: I'm waiting downstairs. One word and I'll join you for lunch.'

"I didn't send word," he pointed out brusquely.

"Had you read the note you would have," she replied, with more confidence than she felt.

Her husband seemed to be considering her words, as he leaned on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms. Khushi took strength from the fact that he had not yet shouted get out.' After all, he had sent her out of this same office with those words at least once before. She moved closer to him and he met her eyes. There was no invitation in them, but the earlier chill had thawed. So she dared to step right up to him---and lightly touched her lips to his---still unsure of his response.

Her heart surged as she felt his arms draw her in. He kissed her back, tenderly. When she pulled away, she saw in his eyes the man she loved. He touched her cheek, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"That is final," he murmured.

by Jalebi Jane

KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 024)

"WHAT IS FINAL? Why do you keep saying that?" she asked.

Arnav Singh Raizada knew his next words would have to be unambiguous---Khushi must be under no illusions about how this marriage was going to function. He took her chin between thumb and forefinger, and leaned towards her. "Everything I say. My word is final," he stated.

Holding her eyes captive, he continued, "never again defy nor question my decisions."

Her eyes snapped with retaliatory fire and her mouth parted preparing to speak.

But he placed a finger across her lips, and said, "I'm not done." He saw her bosom heave as she barely contained her fury. "Understand this---I will not consult you before taking any action. You can call it discourteous. Or coercion. I'm comfortable with either label." He removed his finger to indicate she could now respond.

Khushi didn't waste a moment. "If your decision affects me, am I expected to---?"

He interrupted her to make a significant correction. "---All my decisions will affect you. Because there is no you. There is only us. And I'll decide what is best for us."

"So, whatever you decide on whatever subject---I'm to just go along?" Her voice was heavy with disbelief.

"Precisely."

"What about my wishes, my opinions---my desires!?"

He was amenable to all these. He told her. "I'll hear your thoughts, but I will make the final decision." She was about to speak, but he stopped her, because this conversation had gone on far too long. And his instinct told him it could only end badly. "Listen Khushi, I have lived in this world. Seen things. Had things happen to me which you have no understanding of. And until you have experienced the same---which I will ensure you never do!---we are not equals."

At this Khushi marched to the other side of the desk, placing it as a firm obstacle between them. He saw defiance in her eyes as she said, "true, we are not equals. If I had your power, do you think we would be married?"

Ouch! Our Heroine really knew how to hurt this man.

Their eyes locked. His fists clenched. Arnav heard his own voice as if from a distance. "Get out."

Khushi left.

HOW HAD MATTERS GONE SO WRONG, SO QUICKLY? From bad to worse. Khushi had gone to the office to reconcile with Arnav, and suddenly things had exploded. They always fought---and often viciously---but this felt much worse than any previous encounter. The pain was compounded because this time Khushi was not hurt by a Laad Governor; but hurt by the most significant person in her life. She had done nothing but pace the length and breadth of their room all afternoon. The pool, the bed, the recliner---they all held rich memories which could only torment her now. Was he being unreasonable---or was she? It terrified her that perhaps she was in the wrong. She knew she should not have said what she did---but, oh!---he provoked her!

She examined it from each angle and no amount of rationalizing could compensate for the injury caused to their new and fragile relationship. The truth was that she was made weak by love: she just wanted to forgive and be forgiven.

Was that so wrong?

It was only four in the afternoon. The afternoon dragged. Nani had gone to the temple. Anjali and Shyam were out. Mami and Payal had gone to shop for the costumes for the Saas-Bahu competition. Even if Arnav came home at his usual hour---which seemed unlikely now---it was still more than two hours away. She had to do something. She caught sight of her tear-streaked face in the mirror and decided to attend to herself. Her looking a fright when Arnav finally came home would not help matters between them. Looking her best would not cause any harm. She went to wash and put on a soft pink saree shot with silver embroidery.

The blouse had a breezy keyhole back which would please Arnav, she thought. Our Heroine was not above dressing to please him. She knew this breach would not be bridged by distraction, but she just wanted to be reconciled. Khushi had never before been this wretched. She brushed aside the scornful inner voice which chided her weakness for him.

Once groomed to her satisfaction, she went down to the kitchen to fortify herself with a cup of tea. She realized she had not had anything since breakfast. Her next thought was that Arnav had probably not taken any sustenance either. While waiting for the tea to brew, Khushi heard the front door bell. She heard Omprakash answer the door, and a few seconds later, came her husband's voice requesting coffee, and then his footsteps carrying him up the stairs.

Arnav was home!

Almost two hours early. Was this good or bad news? Both elation and terror competed for space in her chest. Khushi told Omprakash she would manage the coffee. She prepared a tray containing some afternoon nibbles, her teacup and his coffee mug and carried it up. The walk to their bedroom door was accomplished by sheer miracle. To balance a heavy tray with trembling knees was no easy task.

She entered and found him at the wardrobe. He had just removed his shirt and was standing in his slacks. He turned and showed some surprise at finding her at home. In silence, Khushi placed the tray on the low table opposite the recliner. She straightened and looked towards him. Despite the troubles at her door, her female instinct took in his male beauty and thrilled at the knowledge that that man belonged solely to her. And, if she had any say in the matter, he would always remain hers.

Arnav moved towards her.

She indicated weakly, "I have your coffee."

He didn't acknowledge her words, but his eyes never left her. Her heart fibrillated at the touch of his gaze, and she wanted to break eye contact but believed that if she did, she would surely die.

"I have bad news, Khushi," he said. He stopped a few feet away.

"B-b-bad news?" she gulped. Was he going to end their marriage?

He said gravely, "it seems that I'm in love with you."

by Jalebi Jane

KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 025)

"IT SEEMS THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU."

It was done.

Arnav Singh Raizada had given voice to what he had denied to himself for months. The fiction was over. Over.

The struggle to maintain a stultifying facade of interested-indifference. Finished.

The anguish of resisting his desire to draw her fully into every part of himself. Evaporated.

Most of all---the doubt towards Khushi generated by Shyam's venomous words. That too was finally gone. And, ironically, it had all come down to that scoundrel. Last night, when Shyam realized Khushi was a wife-in-full, he implied she had settled for Arnav only after he told her he intended to make a life with Di and their child. But something had rung false. Arnav had always criticized Khushi for following her heart blindly---if so, why would such a woman settle for anyone but her deepest desire? And when Khushi had declared her love in the parking lot last night---in that quintessential Khushi way---Arnav realized she had loved him long before their wedding. It was quite possible she had spent more time loving him than he had spent denying her.

"Bad news!" his feisty wife snapped. "Well, I'm very sorry for you. I'm sure you will soon recover and-and-" she couldn't continue. Her hand flew to her forehead. In a moment she would march away in an angry cloud of pink deliciousness.

She had to be stopped.

"Listen to me, Khushi---" he said, as he reached for her hand. But she refused to give her hand. Instead she gave him a withering you-are-never-touching-me-again look.

He explained, "---I meant this spells bad news for you. Not me. I'll be fine."

Her eyebrows gathered and she crossed her arms in the same way he often did. "Kya?" she asked. Her tone still guarded, but also curious.

"Look what happened this morning. I was controlling, rigid, overbearing---"

"Rude and arrogant!" Khushi added.

"Yes, all of the above---do you not see? This is the behavioural pattern of an Arnav Singh Raizada in love with a Khushi Kumari Gupta."

Khushi's arms dropped to her sides, and she listened.

"I'll be fine---but for you it will only become more difficult," Arnav pointed out. "Every time you resist, I'll fight to control you. You saw that today. And I'll always win. There is no limit to what I will do if it's about you. I'll hurt you, even if it hurts me more. I'll exhaust you, Khushi..."

His words now flowed freely. There was nothing to hide.

And since he had her silent attention (a rare occurrence) he continued. Let her hear all the ugliness. "All those times, each time I hurt you, it was because I wanted you and so I punished you for it. I got engaged to Lavanya so I would stop thinking of you. And she ended our engagement because she knew it was always you that I wanted. I even tricked you into marrying me again two days ago, so you wouldn't leave after six months. And after you left the office today, I called the driver and told him to take you directly home. Then I called the front gate security and told them not to let you off the property under any circumstances. And it will only get worse for you, not easier."

Khushi looked shell-shocked. So shocked that when Arnav took her hand this time, she didn't resist. With his thumb, he stroked her ring finger where their engagement ring sparkled. "Tum seh paogi, Khushi?" he asked, more serious than he had ever been.

IN THAT MOMENT, SHE UNDERSTOOD what people meant when they said, be careful what you pray for.' She had longed and prayed for Arnav to return her love. And, finally he had declared it.

But, Arnav Singh Raizada's love---would she flourish in it or would it end her? She looked down at her small hand held by his strong hand and her heart swelled with both bottomless pleasure and rising trepidation. After everything he had done and told her he would continue to do---should she run, as he advised? A dreadful day like today---would this happen every few days? If she left now, he would not prevent her, because he was giving her a choice.

He was asking: Could she endure his love?<

She could say no'---she really ought to say no.' He was spelling out the terms of this contract and all she could foresee was clash after clash. They would surely kill each other.

So she did what she had to do. She went straight into his arms.

HE CAUGHT HER CLOSE. Her cheek pressed to his warm skin, listening to the dhak-dhak of this difficult beautiful infuriating man. The fear remained but the love expanded to envelop it. It was their first real embrace, and it had come after they had already explored so much intimate territory. But wasn't that their way of doing things? A little out of order, but precisely at the right time. They were interrupted by the pealing of the front door bell. Khushi stepped away but he pulled her back.

"You don't have to answer doors, Khushi. We have staff," he pointed out.

She smiled, "I know. But it means we are no longer alone."

He tapped her temple, and said, "remember that the next time I propose time away from Raizada House."

She glanced at the open door, and it made her nervous being in his arms like this. Especially with him shirtless. Anyone could walk by.

"Are you uncomfortable?" he asked.

She nodded.

"I'll latch the door. You draw the curtains," he said, moving towards the door.

"Kya? No!" she protested at what he was implying. And then she caught his smirk and knew that he was teasing her.

"Fine," Arnav said. "I'll settle for coffee, if that is the only refreshment you are offering."

When Khushi presented him with the coffee, she spotted an ARGroup bag on the bed. She asked presumptuously, "is that for me?"

He glanced to where she was pointing. He nodded, "a saree designed with you in mind."

"Me?" she gave a shout and ran to the bag to peer inside.

"The design team wanted you to model it for this year's calendar shoot," he said.

Khushi gasped and met his eyes, "I'll be in the calendar again!"

"After what I said earlier, you think I'll let you model for a calendar?"

"Then why this---?" Khushi asked, indicating the bag

Arnav shrugged, "I said you would not be modelling and they said they wanted you to have it anyway." Arnav returned the cup to her and announced he was heading for a shower. But as he stepped into the bathroom, he poked his head out. "I missed a meeting this afternoon, which I've rescheduled for later. Come with me. It'll be brief and then we can dine out."

She nodded, but asked, "should I change?"

"No need," he said. "I think you are well aware of how pretty you look."

"True," Khushi agreed saucily and turned to show him the daring blouse back. She winked at him over her shoulder.

"Come here and wink at me," he challenged.

"I have work to do," she taunted, picked up the tray and sashayed out of the room, knowing his eyes followed her out.

Omprakash was in the kitchen when she returned the tray. He indicated that Nani had returned from the temple so Khushi went to find her in her room.

"Chotte is home?" Nani asked.

"Ji ha, Naniji."

Nani patted the chair next to her and as Khushi sat, Nani said, "Chotte fought with you at the office, hai na?" Nani had been home when Khushi had returned from her office visit, and had sensed something had upset her. Khushi had claimed a slight headache, but clearly Nani had not accepted that lame fabrication. "So," Nani smiled, "did he come home to continue the fight or make amends?"

Khushi could not show up her husband, but she gave Nani enough of a meaningful smile to indicate that it was a bit of both and all was now well.

Nani patted her hand, and by way of encouragement said, "even his own mother struggled with him." She then smiled as old memories flooded in. "My daughter would call from Lucknow every few days. Ma, I don't know what I will do with that boy!' When he was especially difficult to manage, she would threaten to go away. That would make him behave. That was his one fear; to be separated from her and look------"

That sentence required no completion.

Nani drew fresh breath and said, "justice will be served when you give Chotte a son just like himself."

THEY WERE INTERRUPTED BY PAYAL AND MAMI who had just returned from their shopping expedition and found their way to Nani's room, as everyone always did. And so engaged was Khushi in their purchases and hearing what they were planning for the Saas-Bahu competition that when Hariprakash entered and informed Khushi that Arnav was looking for her, she realized she had neglected to ask what time they were leaving for the meeting.

Khushi quickly explained to Nani that she and Arnav would be away for the evening, and then she dashed upstairs.

Arnav was by the pool working on his laptop, already dressed in an elegant evening suit. Her husband was handsome in any colour, but especially so in black. And most especially when he wore a white shirt and went without a tie, as he did this evening.

"Is it time to leave?" she asked.

He glanced at his watch. "Where did you disappear to?"

"I was with Naniji," she explained. "I'll just freshen up."

"I want a word with Akaash. I'll meet you downstairs in twenty." She was already running to the bathroom as he stressed, "twenty minutes, Khushi!"

The bag on the bed caught her attention when she emerged from the bathroom. What had they designed? She was intrigued. She removed the box from the bag, opened the signature red box, pushed aside the gold tissue to find a black saree. Beautiful. Rather bold with stunning---but tasteful---filigree work in red. She hoped one of the AR models would wear it for the calendar cover. She was putting the saree away in her wardrobe, when she had a thought.

Why not wear it this evening?

It had been an epic day for her and Arnav's prem kahani, and such a day required an extraordinary evening. It was the work of a moment to shift from the pink to the black. The blouse paired with the black saree was more risque than anything she had worn yet, but she knew her husband and knew he would appreciate it. And as the saree required no further ornamentation, she kept it simple. A quick brush of her hair. Lips touched up with red. A spritz of perfume. She left the bedroom and quickly descended the stairs. Arnav was at the bottom waiting. She saw his impatient eyes lift to meet hers.

But something shifted in his eyes as she came near. His eyes spoke the same message they had on the day of the calendar shoot. And Khushi now understood that message for the first time.

by Jalebi Jane