Once he'd offered her what little counsel he could from his own experiences, Akbar gazed up at the horizon ahead - where the blue of the sky met the green of his meadows 'I wonder why God gives, if he must take away?'
'Yes, I wonder too!' she gasped under her breath - at how his words sounded like he knew all her problems inside out. Ever since the tragedy, she'd shared her thoughts with no one, talked to no one about any of this - she assumed there would be none who could relate to her feelings. But here he was - the most unlikely person - mirroring her mind and language.
'And if God must take away... why take it away so cruelly...' she poured her heart out, turning to gaze at his silhouette as he continued gazing at the horizon 'leaving us alone in this world...'
'Alone in this world... a loneliness... despite the fact that we're surrounded by many...'
'Surrounded by many who care for us... but no one can understand this pain... no relationship that can fill this void easily...' she stopped, letting that last sentence linger in her mind '...no relationship that can fill this void easily'
Coming out of the haze, Akbar turned towards the lady beside him, gently recognising the forbidden direction that the conversation was heading towards.
Chapter 17
Kunwarsa,
I write to extend my heartfelt condolences at this tragic juncture as we jointly mourn the demise of my sister, a great soul who stood by her principles till the very end, leaving an irreparable void in our lives following her death.
In a bid to bring her killers to justice, and to rally support for the sake of Parnagarh, I have been writing to members of our community, elaborating on the horrid events that befell us 18 days ago.
Unfortunately though, I am unable to do anything further at this point. Our group met with an unforeseen accident, and we have since been stranded at a small town called Aidabad (about 50 kos West of Bansi).
I wrote earlier to Manswar, and I have been repeatedly trying to reach out to Bansi for help too. However, I haven't heard back from either place so far, which is worrying.
Anyhow, I write again in the hope that this message will reach you in time - and that when it does, you will be our greatest support in this hour of need and in our fight for justice.
I have also enclosed a copy of the original message I'd sent out to the Ranasa a week ago.
Please convey my salutations to Ranasa and Ranisa.
Kindest regards,
Harka Bai
She put the lens down.
'This headache is getting worse' she realised, when it took more than a few moments for her eyes to be able to re-focus on the surroundings 'It is fine, kakasa...' she muttered through the pain 'can be sealed...'
'Alright...' the forlorn manager replied 'I'll have this sent out... along with another message to Bansi'
'No kakasa... please wait...'
'Why?'
She needed a breather, to collect some strength before confessing her harrowing suspicions aloud 'I fear our scrolls might be getting seized... at least, some of them...'
'Seized?' The old man's eyes widened in alarm 'H... how? H... how are you sure?'
'Till yesterday, I tried being hopeful, kakasa... but it's eleven days today... and we've received no reply... our personal messenger who'd left for Bansi 5 days ago, has gone missing too... it's possible we're being spied upon...'
'What!' the shocking implication of what he'd just heard rattled every old bone in his body 'Spies? In Aidabad... or outside? D... do you suspect someone?'
Her heart sank, as soon as she heard that question. Because there WAS someone she'd suspected for a while.
'Don't worry about me... I've grown immune to such poisons and venoms...'
However, after a lot of pondering, those suspicions about the Sahib appeared 'unjustified' - even to the logical corner of her mind - since there were just too many things that didn't add up. And who better to know this than her? Like, his attempts to save her life. His earnest concern for her wellbeing. His timely help to her people. The courtesy and empathy he'd displayed during jiji's funeral rites. And several such instances. On what basis could she discredit the Sahib then, when it made no sense to do so?
'Kakasa...' she exhaled long and hard 'Our scrolls have all been leaving Aidabad securely... so, my guess is that these spies are lurking in towns further away... outside Aidabad...'
'K... Khalil's men?'
'Yes...' she nodded, her head throbbing in anguish from simply picturing the horrors that awaited them if this news was true. After all, Khalil was their biggest enemy - the one who'd publicly vowed to finish her. 'Most probably...'
'Ma Bhavani! Save us!' Kaka's kind features blanched into a ghostly shade of white, 'B... but... what... if Khalil's men get hold of the scrolls that we've been sending out to the Rajput kingdoms...'
'Then my end could be very near' Heera answered to herself 'But... I did what I could, for the sake of justice...'
A sad frown continued lurking between her brows. However, despite the apparent poise, the distressing thought of her death had triggered a spasm, cramping down the muscles in her head, mirroring the claustrophobia of her enemies closing-in upon her. She silently searched for a quick solution to shut down those oppressive images. But what came to her rescue instead - was a voice. A stern voice that replayed in her mind, over and over, drawing her out from the suffocating jaws of helplessness
'Just stay safe...'
'Bitiya... what are we going to do?'
'Kakasa... don't worry...' Heera replied, after having managed to compose herself enough to be able to reinstate a facade of normalcy 'there's not a word in those scrolls against the Shehzaade or the Empire... I'll be safe... besides, I'm certain at least some good would've come of it... at least a few of our scrolls would've reached their destinations... a few kings would step up to back us now...' she nodded 'which is why it's important that this message reaches jijasa... he is our only hope for justice!'
'As you say bitiya...' Kaka relented with tearful eyes - inspired by her undying spirit to soldier on even though she knew this might not end well 'and how do we send these two confidential scrolls to Manswar and Bansi, without the knowledge of these spies?'
'I have a plan, which might work...'
'What plan, bitiya?'
'We send a harmless letter... a general message to kakasa and jijasa... that'll keep these spies busy, by putting them off our scent...'
'And then...'
'At the same time, two of our trusted men take a different route to deliver these confidential scrolls... of course, our men might have to travel in disguise and take detours...' a twinkle briefly livened her eyes 'but since the spies wouldn't be expecting us to send two scrolls simultaneously to the same kingdom... there is a greater chance that these messages will reach their destinations...'
'Bitiya, I will arrange for all this... exactly as you've instructed...' Kaka began packing away all the official documents thereafter 'by the way' his manner softened 'your headache doesn't appear to have reduced...'
'No it hasn't... not even after Gauri's remarkable care... I think I might step out for a breath of fresh air later...'
'Bitiya...' he shook his head as a sign of fatherly disapproval 'you'd been holed in that sick chamber for far too long... all that screaming and blood... constantly breathing the unhealthy air... how can it be good for you?'
Heera smiled 'I'm grateful that Mohan banna survived the surgery, that's all... this headache will pass...'
'Hmmm...' collecting all the scrolls under his arm, he looked up at her 'which brings us to the point... when should we make preparations to leave? If Khalil's men are spying on us, isn't it better for us to leave Aidabad as soon as possible? There's no safer place than Bansi...'
'Yes...' she mumbled, her glimpses veering into oblivion.
Of course, they had to leave. This was only meant to be a temporary halt. They were only guests here.
'No' she had to correct herself 'not guests'. They were only refugees fleeing an attack - utilising the anonymity that this obscure town offered, in order to seek temporary shelter. They were escapees taking cover behind the unknown walls of an old haveli. They were mere victims, hiding behind a stranger.
Having said that, the stranger didn't seem so unfamiliar anymore. And the dull walls of his mansion didn't seem so unknown anymore. In their sanctuary, she'd gradually begun experiencing a comforting sense of familiarity, a sense of security. A belief that no one would harm her here, that nothing could touch her as long as she stayed within. So much so, that it somehow felt less unsafe to stay here, than it felt to abandon this warm shelter for the cold wilderness that lay outside.
'Just stay safe...'
Obviously, she never knew she would feel this way when she arrived. She never knew she could feel this way about ANY place other than Parnagarh. But now - especially since the time had come to leave it all behind - she did feel that way. If only she could talk to someone, and put her restless mind at ease. If only she could talk to her best companion, her jiji, again!
'Yes kakasa... we must leave...' her empty glimpses returned to his silhouette 'a sturdy stretcher has to be built... the horses have to be exercised... the palanquin needs dusting...' she paused 'my herbarium can be packed away... maharaj kakasa would require a day to stock up on food supplies... and all our belongings can start going back into their trunks too'
'I'll have these tasks delegated as soon as I've sent off the scrolls...' he stood up 'it should all be done by tomorrow night...'
'Alright kakasa. Then, we shall leave day after tomorrow...'
The canal
'H...' he paused, inhaling a massive breath of air to counter the discomfort caused by the rising palpitations. Once he'd regrouped himself, he leaned over the entrance of the shaft, to yell out to the muqannis who were working underground.
'How much longer?'
The workers craned their neck upwards, shouting back so they would be heard 'Two more days Sahib...' their words echoed through the hollows of the water reservoir 'A large section of the wall has caved in, cutting off water supply to the canal... it'd take time to dig it up... and repair the wall'
Two more days of limited water supply? That would inconvenience everyone, and affect work at the stables too 'You men told me it'd take two days, two days back...'
'We are working hard, Sahib...'
'Well then work harder! I pay you handsomely for it, don't I?'
By the end of that instruction, he was light-headed again - his condition probably made worse by the fact that he'd been staring down dark tunnels for so long. The young man instinctively grabbed the shaft entrance for balance, when a sudden twinge in his hand sent him writhing in agony 'Argh!' he glared at the swollen portion of his arm 'When will this darned pain subside?'
'Akbar... we could've supervised this repair-work... why don't you take the rest of the day off?'
'I'm fine, Ibrahim...' he ruffled the sweat off of his hair I'm fine...'
'Are you really?'
'Yes I am!'
'Your hand's still swollen... it must be extremely painful...'
'I said I'm fine!' he started his trek back, covering the distance from the canal to the meadows in large quick-footed strides - as though to show the three men following him that he was still very much in control.
However, no sooner than they'd reached the pastures, Ibrahim called out to him again - his voice rife with regard 'Akbar'
'I said I'm fine, didn't I?' he spun around vehemently - irritated by the constant badgering, irritated that he couldn't shake them off his trail however hard he tried. After all, there were too many queries in their eyes - queries that he didn't want to be cornered into facing. Because - unlike ever before - he did owe them an answer this time, and he had no answers to give 'I know what I'm doing, alright?'
'Do you really know what you're doing?' Ibrahim took one step ahead, confronting him man to man 'We've brushed aside all the unusual developments that we saw and heard in this mission... but doesn't THIS one go too far? Making it look like the cellar and the safehouse caught fire, might fool others... how could you think it'd fool us?'
Staying stubbornly mum, Akbar peered back with a kind of rebellious intensity he rarely resorted to. Despite being faced with a reality that could neither be denied, nor explained away, he refused to buckle under pressure - a wounded tiger he might be, but he wouldn't be tied down!
'Akbar' implored Ibrahim, hating to have to see his wise and revered Ustaad unable to justify his actions. After all, this was a man most respected - a Master who questioned and corrected others. It was NOT meant to be the other way around. 'What are you doing, my friend? You understand the staggering implications of burning all that evidence... what would happen if the Huzoor ever found out?'
'At least, tell the three of us what's going on... so we can be prepared for what's to come!' added a dejected Sayyid
Watching their attitudes thaw and their brotherly grudges subdue, Akbar shifted his glares aside. Even the harsh interrogation he could handle, but the growing concern in their eyes was an emotion tougher to deal with. Either way, he couldn't explain to them something that he'd barely grasped himself, could he?
'I do not expect you men to understand... so, I want you three to stay out of it...' was all he curtly said, before resuming his hike towards the meadows.
'Stay out of it?' exclaimed Ibrahim, close on the heels of his master.
'Yes stay out of it, both now and in future!'
His head was spinning, his arm suffering from acute twitches - but Akbar managed to keep up his former pace 'If any of this ever comes out in the open, I want you to confess that you weren't aware of anything... it's all on me... understood?'
'Ha! Keeping us at a safe distance again, Khan Sahib? Like you always do...'
'Azeez... enough!'
'You might never share your thoughts with us... never form attachments... but you worry about shielding us from 'harm'... quite a paradox!'
The chilling declarations drew Akbar's hurried pace to a halt 'Azeez!' He furiously turned around to stop the boy from saying any further 'That is ENOUGH!'
'Here's another paradox, Khan Sahib...' Azeez persisted, undaunted by the warning 'We work for the Shehzaade, because we work for YOU... it's not the other way around!'
Although Azeez might have been the first young man to openly admit that gutsy truth, it was a truth that everyone else in that camp believed in too. If it ever came to choosing sides, these soldiers would undeniably stand by their Ustaad, whether the opponent was a general or a prince. And this reality about his men, Akbar did not doubt.
Which is precisely why he wanted to keep them away - why he didn't want to get them involved. He would not spoil the lives of hundreds of able men for his own personal whims 'I give you my word that this is a mission to me, nothing more... it shall not happen again... ' he pressed on 'please, my men...let's leave this discussion, as it is, shall we?'
It took them a short while, but the trio eventually accepted his pledge, with a slow nod.
'Thank you...' he acknowledged, continuing his journey in the paths that led to the haveli's grounds 'anyhow... they leave day-after-tomorrow... but, our search for the Farmaan is still...'
Akbar gradually stopped, narrowing his eyes in the direction of a large tree, a long way away.
'The Sahiba...' Azeez informed, indicating towards the figure reclining under its shade 'when I walked by here, earlier, I saw her strolling the meadows with a maid...' he shrugged 'but she's alone now'
'Is she well?' frowned Sayyid 'Is she sleeping?'
'She hasn't fainted, has she?'
'Not sure...'
The meadows
Bringing his footsteps to a gradual halt on a spot of green not far from where she reclined, he observed her.
Strangely, she hadn't reacted to their arrival. Was everything fine? Was she fine? Was she sleeping? It was hard to tell.
While his companions darted each other hesitant glances, Akbar decided to call out to her
'Sahi...'
'Good afternoon, Khan Sahib...' Heera wished him back, shaken out of a lull. She hadn't expected their presence in these parts of the meadows. And for reasons best known to her, the last person she'd hoped to meet at this point, and in this state, was HIM! 'I wasn't too well, so I'd stepped out for some fresh air... was just resting now, since I was unable to walk anymore...'
An awkward moment later, she spared him the efforts of coming up with a response to her cheerless answer, by clarifying further 'my maid will be back soon... she's left to fetch me my medicine... the grounds are large, hence her delay in getting back... that's all'
'Alright...'
Figuring out that the young lady possibly wanted to be left alone, he retreated, as candidly as he'd arrived.
But a few yards on, and Akbar realised he was still in two minds.
Yes, he was well aware of the many different reasons why any situation involving this Sahiba was getting increasingly delicate. And he hadn't forgotten one word of what he'd just told his friends - a promise, he earnestly intended to keep.
But mission or no mission, it felt almost inhumane to leave her behind in this state. Especially considering how frail she sounded.
'Keep walking... I'll catch up with you...' he announced, out of the blue.
And giving his puzzled mates no further explanation, Akbar headed back to where she sat.
'Sahiba...' he paused, once back at her side, trying to frame an apt sentence. As an introvert who found it particularly hard to begin genteel conversations, odd situations such as this took him twice as long 'if it'd help, I can call one of my men to ride to the haveli to bring you the medicine... it'd be quicker that way...'
However, the lady neither accepted his offer - nor declined it at once.
Her ongoing silence was difficult to decipher. And while the Sahiba might be having a bad day, his ego wasn't going to allow him to wait forever for her to respond.
'Obviously, shouldn't have come back'
Deciding to do them both a favour by leaving her to her own devices, he began taking off. Till a particularly bad spell of dizziness engulfed him, rendering him off-balance. Helpless, he caught onto the trunk of the tree to steady himself, as he dropped down on the grass to regroup himself.
'Are you alright?' her sullen reaction finally came
'Yes...'
'Dizziness... because of the scorpion bite, isn't it? Have you had it examined?'
'Yes...' he brushed off the enquiry, making light of his condition 'I'm fine...'
'Khan Sahib...' she smirked lightly, a moment later 'you wanted to know if there's something that can be done to help?'
'Yes...'
'But, what COULD you do...'
'What?' He frowned, confused by the vagueness in her attitude
'What could anyone do...' she continued 'to lessen the pain caused by loss?'
'Loss?'
'The loss of a dear one...'
'Oh!' he understood - she'd been mourning for her sister all along, which is why she'd sounded so low. 'Darn' he exhaled subsequently - a reaction spurred by mixed feelings of compassion, awkwardness and guilt.
He'd stepped in, offering help, unaware that the 'pain' she was suffering from was more emotional than it was physical. Unaware that she was grieving.
If that was the case, he had no right being here. Firstly, he wouldn't be able to utter a single sentence in comfort. But infinitely worse was the fact that this was about her sister - a lady, whose murderers he had a direct connection with - a fact that this poor Sahiba was ignorant of. 'Lord!' Akbar felt his insides cringe.
True, there were many ways he'd betrayed her over the past 10 days - but this was one betrayal he couldn't sit through.
Then again, he couldn't get up and walk away now, could he? At least not at once.
'Khan Sahib' Heera came back, when she heard nothing from him 'That's why I said there's nothing you could do ...because there's no easy solution to overcome this pain.'
'You're right...'
Akbar eventually shook his head, surprising himself as much as he surprised her, when he'd obliged her sad remark with a reply 'there's no easy solution'
'Which is why, we're forced to distract ourselves to forget the sorrow...' she added
'Yes...' he murmured 'at least for the sake of those around us...'
'But the wound never truly heals, does it Khan Sahib?'
'The wound never truly heals' It was Akbar's turn to suffer an unexpected pang of emotional 'pain', as the subconscious focus shifted, bit by bit, from her tragedies to his. The clause had somehow hit him hard - a reminder of how he'd never stopped grieving for his losses either. The Sahiba was describing her life, but she might just as well have been describing HIS. After all, just like her, he'd lost it all too - his father, his family, his childhood, his innocence, his home and his identity.
'These wounds never truly heal... which is why the pain never disappears completely...' he added, reflecting back on his pitiful existence 'we put on a mask of normalcy because people depend on us to be normal... we divert ourselves with our daily lives... days go by... weeks... months... years... till the mask becomes who we are!' Once he'd offered her what little counsel he could from his own experiences, Akbar gazed up at the horizon ahead - where the blue of the sky met the green of his meadows 'I wonder why God gives, if he must take away?'
'Yes, I wonder too!' she gasped under her breath - at how his words sounded like he knew all her problems inside out. Ever since the tragedy, she'd shared her thoughts with no one, talked to no one about any of this - she assumed there would be none who could relate to her feelings. But here he was - the most unlikely person - mirroring her mind and language.
'And if God must take away... why take it away so cruelly...' she poured her heart out, turning to gaze at his silhouette as he continued gazing at the horizon 'leaving us alone in this world...'
'Alone in this world... a loneliness... despite the fact that we're surrounded by many...'
'Surrounded by many who care for us... but no one can understand this pain... no relationship that can fill this void easily...' she stopped, letting that last sentence linger in her mind '...no relationship that can fill this void easily'
Coming out of the haze, Akbar turned towards the lady beside him, gently recognising the forbidden direction that the conversation was heading towards.
No doubt, the young man had only started off, trying to be supportive. But gradually, he'd been sucked into saying things about himself he would never say otherwise. In fact, they were both being drawn into this vortex, unknowingly sharing their innermost secrets with the other.
Of course, her actions were justified - the Sahiba was lonely and sad, an innocent 16 year old, who had no idea of the horrid truth. It was up to him to end this, before they got carried away yet again. He must get up and leave. Now.
However, just before he could utter a few parting phrases, he was stopped in his tracks by her confession
A confession that she hadn't told anyone else
'I'm afraid Khan Sahib...'
There! She had finally admitted it - to someone! Well, she was only mortal - frightened of what'd happen to her people and lands once she was gone 'I wish I could be brave like jiji...' she crossed her trembling fingers 'Khan Sahib... even when she was surrounded by enemies, she cared for others... even in her last breath, she ensured I'd be safe...' her throat started swelling up, choking down her pitch
'Jiji ran around the Haveli, with her eyes opened wide...
Every trick uncanny, she may have tried...
Every nook and cranny, she may have spied...
But never did she find me, because I know how to hide!'
'What?' Akbar stared on pensively, unsure of what he'd just heard
'As children, we used to play a game often... hide and seek...' Heera continued 'I believed I could beat her at it easily...' a droplet of tear that'd been hovering around her eyes fell off 'I'd hide inside planters, trunks and urns... she'd act like she could never find me... and I would sing this poem to tease her...' a few tears made their way down her cheeks 'little did I know she would tease me back with those very lines, as her last words to me... now, I'm the one left searching... while she's found the perfect hiding spot, gone forever...' She broke down - crying in both sadness and relief, like a lonesome traveller stumbling upon some brief company would. She let the tears flow, exposing a vulnerable side that always remained shielded 'I miss her terribly...'
Akbar was aghast. The heiress was a proud woman - a woman who possibly never disclosed her weaknesses to others. And today, on the rare occasion that she was sharing her grief with another, she'd ended up doing so with the last person on Earth she would want for company, were she aware of his reality.
'Ai Khuda...' the young man ran his fingers across his brow - the gnawing ache in his arm caused by the scorpion bite was nothing compared to the gnawing ache of guilt eating away at his heart just then. And to think that he might be partly responsible for this pitiable state of hers!
'Darn...' he felt the knots in his chest twist tighter with every passing moment and wasted tear. If only he could do something to stop the tears. But as a man who never cared for feelings and sentiments, he'd never put himself in such situations before. He had no idea what must be said to comfort an upset lady.
In any case, not wanting to appear like a naive youth with nothing to do or say, he removed a muslin kerchief from his cummerbund and offered it to her 'Here Sahiba... all will be fine...'
Heera looked up, unable to make out what he was offering - her vision completely blinded by clouding mists of water. All she saw beside her was a flash of colour as he held his hand out. And at the lowest point in her life, she grabbed whatever she presumed was being offered. Without much thought, the overwhelmed young lady clutched onto his sleeve, and thus onto the strong of his arm, the droplets sliding along his tunic.
'Sahiba...' he whispered, attempting to diffuse the turn of events calmly, so as to not shame her 'a kerchief...'
But the Lady didn't need that gentle prompting.
Because, the peculiarity of the situation had hit her as soon as it'd happened. Coming to her senses the very next moment, she tried rectifying the embarrassing error by releasing his arm from her clasp with an apology.
'I am sorry...' Heera straightened herself, wiping her tears dry with the back of her palm 'I... my vision has been very poor today...'
'That's alright...'
A few yards away...
'Baisa...' she tightened her grip around the medicine pot to stop it from falling off her hands - her mind still reeling from the shocking sight she'd just witnessed. Had this chatty young maid stumbled upon any other unmarried Hindu noblewoman weeping upon the shoulder of a Mughal businessman, her eyes would've widened in amazement - because, it would be the juiciest news she would've brought home to her friends yet.
However, Dhani wasn't so amazed now. Not when the woman in question was her own baisa.
And while she might have gossiped about Khan Sahib in the past - those remarks were all in jest. THIS was not a joke. This was real. Unpleasantly real.
'No... no... no...' she glanced away in wishful thinking, desperately hoping this wasn't real 'My baisa is beyond reproach... she's purer than pure... I'm the one assuming wrongly...' Dhani ended up blamed her own eyes for seeing things, vowing for the first time in her life, never to breathe of word of this scandal to anyone.
Later that night...
'Surrounded by many who care... but no one can understand this pain...'
Unwinding at the end of an exceptionally busy stretch, a sleepy Heera sat amidst the calm of night's darkness in front of the mirror, her fingers playing with the lengths of her open locks. The day's responsibilities had been wrapped up. The maids had retired to their chambers. She could finally hear the sound of nothing but her own voice. Apparently then, her thoughts had decided to revisit that 'sentence', before drawing shut to a close for the night.
'No relationship that can fill this void easily'
Unfortunately, she had let her guard down again - and a lot more than she should have. But he had reciprocated too - giving her a rare glimpse into his hidden self. Actually, the entire conversation with the Sahib had been oddly 'anonymous' - he didn't ask her much about Parnagarh, she hadn't asked him about his missing family. And yet they'd possibly shared their deepest secrets with one another.
Whatever said and done, it had turned out to be the most 'heart-to-heart' conversation she'd had with anyone since the tragedy.
If only, it hadn't ended on such an embarrassing note!
'What would the maids think had they seen you grabbing his arm?' Heera sighed in stern disapproval of her own behaviour 'What would he think?'
She paused, the signs of disapproval on her face gradually sprinkled with the hues of a confused blush.
What would he think? That is, if he thought of her at all...
Gazing at the blurry grey image of herself that the mirror showed, she touched her cheeks that were still warm from the confusing myriad of emotions.
Her eyes glided down towards the outline of her lips. Of her chin. And then towards her dainty curves - observing her feminine features that were freshly kissed by the bloom of youth.
Heera couldn't decide if she was as beautiful a Lady as people said she was - but, if she was, he would've noticed her beauty too, wouldn't he?
However, before the very idea could emblazon her cheeks into a flaming red, the logical part of her, tempered it all.
Why was she assuming such a thing? He was a recluse and a workaholic - why would notice her looks or spare thoughts about her? And why this juvenile urge to know his opinion of her? 'Not nice, Harka...' She sighed again, in sterner disapproval of those impulses that were straying into such an unholy territory.
'But...' she then remembered his expressions, when he'd greeted her after the feast. Especially when he'd offered her the 'adab' - there were glints of fascination in his eyes, weren't there?
'The adab' Heera's gazes mellowed, as she stopped playing with her locks.
Nudged by a gentle spurt of girlish curiosity, she held up her right palm and slowly brought it up to her forehead, imitating the adab he'd done. Pretending to be a Mughal woman for a moment. Quite a change from the Marwari salute she was used to. It felt so different. It felt new.
She gazed at her fingers. Somehow, they felt different too - after having touched a man today, after having touched him. And now that she'd tried the 'adab' there was something else she was tempted to try. Something more brazen.
'No!' logic lashed back at once, strictly warning against doing so 'Behave like a respectable Rajput woman... like an heiress... think of your circumstances!'
Compelled to rein in those temptations, she stalled.
But now that the idea had been planted in her head, it didn't want to go away 'Just once?' it stubbornly seemed to say
And thus, the internal war between temptation and logic brewed on for a long spell. Till temptation won its first battle against logic, in her young life.
Closing her eyes, Heera allowed herself to be sucked into an imagination... 'What if...'
With the very fingers that'd clutched him, she touch her other hand. Gradually trailing those fingers upwards, she guided them along her elbow, then her arm. Having stopped at her shoulder, Heera tenderly wrapped her palms around herself against the cold and darkness around her, lost in her own soft embrace 'what if...'
The tingle that'd started off in her arms, and wherever else he'd indirectly touched her, spread to the rest of her body like an unchecked flame.
It was for a good while that the effects lingered.
But once the effects abated, it was logic that had the last laugh
'I told you not to, didn't I? You play with fire... then, don't cry when you get burnt! So much for the vow you'd taken only yesterday... well... looks like it DID happen again! And do remember you're leaving behind all this in a day...'
Having spent enough tears that morning, Heera assumed she wouldn't weep anymore. But those traitorous tears did find a way to make their presence known, pooling up behind closed eyelids.
The main haveli
'And how about the tunic you're wearing, Sahib?' asked the errand-boy, as he finished his chores for the night 'Should I take it to the washerwoman's house in the morning... to have it washed? I don't think you've noticed... but it's got some stains...'
Akbar glanced at the spot that the lad was referring to - at the black smudges on the upper part of his sleeve. Of course he'd noticed - how would he not? Those were the smudges caused by her kohl tinged tears when she'd mistakenly grabbed his sleeve instead of the kerchief, causing his heart to briefly soar then, just as it did during every instance that he tried not to think about it thereafter. It was the most beautiful mistake she'd done - allowing him to savour the first gentle touch of a woman he cared for. HER gentle touch.
In another life, he might have then taken those stumbling fingers in his hands. Supported her delicate palms within his secure clasp, promising never to let them stumble again.
But that was the story of another life.
In this life, she was meant to leave for good to Bansi, while he would make preparations to head in the opposite direction - to Parnagarh.
After all, the Sahiba might be under the impression that she'd lost the Farmaan - but Ustaad Akbar Mahmoud Khan now had a very strong hunch that the Farmaan was still 'hidden' in her very home.
'Yes these stains need to be washed away'
Book Talk
Bigg Boss 19
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