Buzz in my head - Dev's love!

Buzzinnn... thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#1
We got to see an episode filled with love yesterday. Ishwari's over-protective love for her son, Sona's unrequited love for Dev, Neha's love for Ranveer & most importantly Dev's love for ???

Yes, we all know that Dev is on a quest to discover what love is, which he will soon figure out. But today, I'm talking about his love for his mother, Ishwari. The scene between Dev and Ishwari was brilliant. Their conversation was an emotional & a beautiful one, where a son was comforting a mother who was not at ease. Dev & Ishwari are very complex characters. Like mother, like son!

While Ishwari was arranging Dev's clothes, Nikki being young & naive said "Aap dekhna yeh sab bandh hoga!". To Ishwari, it's something that she's been doing it for years & it's was a daily routine for her & she asked Nikki in a surprised tone, "why would it stop?" And Nikki said, "because Natasha will be here soon! She'll give the clothes for laundry, she'll give the money, she'll keep the clothes in the cupboard & in the night she'll wait for Dev bhaiya, so he'll eat food with her, and all the work she'll do with him, therefore she'll (Ishwari) be free". As Nikki was jabbering away, we could sense Ishwari shattering down. The thought of someone else doing everything for Dev left a huge gaping void in her. She felt as if her place in Dev's life would be taken/snatched away. And she froze when Nikki said Dev bhaiya has fallen in love. Like it was the most frightening moment. Why isn't she happy for her son? Shouldn't Dev fall in love? What has he ever done, for her to feel this insecure?

Ishwari's love for her son is something that I'm unable to comprehend. She's possessive & wants her son by her side. But why? What's the need for this constant attention when he's giving it to her? Why should she be over protective/possessive about him? I know that there are mothers who yearn for their sons love & that's because they aren't getting any. But in Ishwari's case, he's been the perfect golden child for her. He worships her. He's put her up on a pedestal & does everything for her.

Ishwari knows that Dev is not very keen about the engagement & is still confused. When he came to her, with a forced smile, she told him that she's always there beside him with whatever decision he takes. To which, Dev said that he wouldn't take any decision without her consent & which doesn't involve her happiness. She was Dev's top most priority. She wanted to see for herself if he was sure about the engagement. Yes, she'd given him the right to decide, so she ought to be happy with his decision but she clearly wasn't.

A very emotional Ishwari wants him to remember the promise that he made when he was young, when he said "Main khabhi shaadi nahi karoonga" and Dev tells her to save her tears for Neha, Riya & Nikki because they'll leave the house one day & he'll never go away from her. He assures her that he'll stay with her. When Dev is being so honest with her, why doesn't she trust his sincerity? Why does she feel sad? Why isn't she elated that her only son was to be married soon & finally he'll have a life partner with whom he can share his dreams & goals with?

She's still not content & further probes by telling, that there'll be someone else in his life, his life partner, his better half, to which he'll have an everlasting right. Dev replies saying, right is over property & not people. He tells her I'm your son & you've been the most important person to me. How much ever Dev comforts her, she isn't going to be pacified. Sometimes, I feel sad that Ishwari never really understood her son whom she is so proud of. I feel he was caged in her over-protective cocoon that he really didn't see anything else other than making his mother & sisters happy. Keeping Ishwari happy & content is 'Love' for Dev. He adores, respects & protects her. He's ever ready to go to any extent to make sure his mother is well. Doesn't care if it's right or wrong. End result is, his mother should be happy! And if ishwari ever wanted happiness for her son, she should stop tying him down with her emotions & must learn to let go a little.

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest - Irish Proverb

P.S I think there's more to this possessive side of Ishwari which hasn't been unveiled yet..

-Aksh-
Edited by Buzzinnn... - 9 years ago

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Ferdous_69 thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Wow...what a post !!!!!!!
Actually... Each nd every post of this forum r simply brilliant
I must say we have excellent analysts...
U r one of them dear...
Amazing... Thanks for d post
KajalSood thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Well written post. There do exist certain moms who are over protective and absolutely possessive! Sometimes even i feel Ishwari's insecurities are over the top!

As they say there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who adores his mom, treats her well, treats her with respect and goes out of his way to help her.
There is also nothing more unattractive to a woman than a man who can't stand up to his mother, who let's his mom control him, who fears his mother and who puts his mommy first in front of his girlfriend or wife.

I think there are many, many men who don't know what kind of relationship to have with their mom once they get a girlfriend or get married. And a lot of times, the mother son relationship has a huge effect on the marriage.
So much of the mother son relationship stems from childhood, and circumstances that might have happened. For example, maybe the guy's dad left/died when he was just a little boy, and he was all his mother had.

While all of these scenarios are heartfelt and while I can understand a guy's need to treat his mother like gold, there are differences between healthy and unhealthy mother son relationships.
1. Obligation Vs Choice:

Unhealthy: The son always feels obligated to see his mom and put her first in front of his plans. In other words, he will drop anything if she calls because he feels some kind of guilt. This causes huge problems with his girlfriend/wife.

Healthy: The son WANTS to see his mother, and if she happens to call and ask to get together when he already has plans " say a date, he tells her he will instead meet her for breakfast the next morning. And mom should understand this.

2. Fear Vs Honesty:

Unhealthy: The guy always fears that his mother will be angry with him or not speak to him if he disappoints her and doesn't do everything she asks. A wife or girlfriend will get frustrated by this and it will surely cause tension in their relationship.

Healthy: The guy doesn't fear the person who is supposed to love him unconditionally, and who understands that there is no son in history who didn't disappoint his mother at one time or another during a lifetime. Instead, if he has to say or do something he knows will upset his mother, he sucks it up and is honest about it because he knows his mother will eventually get over it.

3. Annoyance Vs Happiness:

Unhealthy: The guy who fears his mother tends to resent her (but won't even let himself realize that). That emotion then turns into annoyance with her, which then turns into his guilt for feeling annoyed by his own mother. Because of this annoyance, he will then become annoyed with his wife/girlfriend, completely unaware of it!

Healthy: A guy who has a great relationship with his mother gets joy out of seeing her EVERY time they get together. He cherishes the time, they laugh together, maybe reminisce and have heartfelt talks.

Ishwari should accept that when her son grows up, meets a woman, brings her home and marries her, she needs to try to understand that he is madly in love with her, and that he will put his wife above mom a lot of times. And that is how it should be! And any mother who doesn't see it that way is just plain selfish! Sure, it might be hard, and your feelings might get a little hurt at times, but thats NORMAL!

But unfortunately we do see mommies like Ishwari in real life. And thats what makes our KRPKAB special, reflection of real life. It will be interesting to see how CVs build Dev's character once he falls for Sona.

Hope Dev's relationship with Ishwari turns out to be a healthy one !😊

Sorry for the long post



Buzzinnn... thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Ferdous_69

Wow...what a post !!!!!!!
Actually... Each nd every post of this forum r simply brilliant
I must say we have excellent analysts...
U r one of them dear...
Amazing... Thanks for d post


Thank you so much Ferdous for the lovely comment 🤗 😊
Buzzinnn... thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: KajalSood

Well written post. There do exist certain moms who are over protective and absolutely possessive! Sometimes even i feel Ishwari's insecurities are over the top!

As they say there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who adores his mom, treats her well, treats her with respect and goes out of his way to help her.
There is also nothing more unattractive to a woman than a man who can't stand up to his mother, who let's his mom control him, who fears his mother and who puts his mommy first in front of his girlfriend or wife.

I think there are many, many men who don't know what kind of relationship to have with their mom once they get a girlfriend or get married. And a lot of times, the mother son relationship has a huge effect on the marriage.
So much of the mother son relationship stems from childhood, and circumstances that might have happened. For example, maybe the guy's dad left/died when he was just a little boy, and he was all his mother had.

While all of these scenarios are heartfelt and while I can understand a guy's need to treat his mother like gold, there are differences between healthy and unhealthy mother son relationships.
1. Obligation Vs Choice:

Unhealthy: The son always feels obligated to see his mom and put her first in front of his plans. In other words, he will drop anything if she calls because he feels some kind of guilt. This causes huge problems with his girlfriend/wife.

Healthy: The son WANTS to see his mother, and if she happens to call and ask to get together when he already has plans " say a date, he tells her he will instead meet her for breakfast the next morning. And mom should understand this.

2. Fear Vs Honesty:

Unhealthy: The guy always fears that his mother will be angry with him or not speak to him if he disappoints her and doesn't do everything she asks. A wife or girlfriend will get frustrated by this and it will surely cause tension in their relationship.

Healthy: The guy doesn't fear the person who is supposed to love him unconditionally, and who understands that there is no son in history who didn't disappoint his mother at one time or another during a lifetime. Instead, if he has to say or do something he knows will upset his mother, he sucks it up and is honest about it because he knows his mother will eventually get over it.

3. Annoyance Vs Happiness:

Unhealthy: The guy who fears his mother tends to resent her (but won't even let himself realize that). That emotion then turns into annoyance with her, which then turns into his guilt for feeling annoyed by his own mother. Because of this annoyance, he will then become annoyed with his wife/girlfriend, completely unaware of it!

Healthy: A guy who has a great relationship with his mother gets joy out of seeing her EVERY time they get together. He cherishes the time, they laugh together, maybe reminisce and have heartfelt talks.

Ishwari should accept that when her son grows up, meets a woman, brings her home and marries her, she needs to try to understand that he is madly in love with her, and that he will put his wife above mom a lot of times. And that is how it should be! And any mother who doesn't see it that way is just plain selfish! Sure, it might be hard, and your feelings might get a little hurt at times, but thats NORMAL!

But unfortunately we do see mommies like Ishwari in real life. And thats what makes our KRPKAB special, reflection of real life. It will be interesting to see how CVs build Dev's character once he falls for Sona.

Hope Dev's relationship with Ishwari turns out to be a healthy one !😊

Sorry for the long post




Interesting comment Kajal :) It's true that there are mothers out there who are like this. It's the stark reality & people get to face it. Loved how you've have compared a healthy and unhealthy relationship between a mother & son..

Dev is the perfect son, he genuinely adores his mother, he's honest and he makes sure there's always a smile on her face. With Dev's engagement to Natasha, I find a fearful and annoyed Ishwari. Her dislike on sharing her son is clearly evident. From the spoilers, we've gotten to know that she'll support Dev. Well, temporary happiness for her :) But when she gets to know about Sona later, she isn't going to be very happy about it... Maybe that's when Dev will also sense that his mother is insecure and he'll draw a line...

Ha ha ...And no need to be sorry :P happy to have had a nice discussion with you 🤗😊
krystle123 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
amazing post dear 👏 very deep analysis. very well written.😛
Buzzinnn... thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: krystle123

amazing post dear👏 very deep analysis. very well written.😛



Thank you krystle 😊

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