Posted:
I am quite offended by two things shown in the episode today.đ˛
1. Raman was crying himself into a full-blown depression, alone in the washroom, holding a picture of him, Ishita and Ruhi in the same frame. One of their happier moments. I thought maybe he is heartbroken over the fact that finally, it is going to over between him and Ishita. But no, he was missing Ruhi..and that's okay...he can miss her as much as he wants to.
But he said something like, "tum kyun chali gayi Ruhi? Ek tum hi thi hamare rishte ki dor...tum chali gayi toh sab khatam ho gaya"
And I felt hurt, because it made it look as if whatever was there between him and Ishita was only because of Ruhi...because Ishita had proved herself again and again and again, as the best mother and wife any woman could ever be.
This makes it seem as if Raman's love is conditional. And that's sad.đ˛
The day Ruhi 'died' so did their relationship, because at that very moment Ishita was proven to be the worst mother any child could ever have, and a woman who was worthless and did not deserve to be a mother in the first place.
The beauty of their relationship was not the usual run-of-mill love stories getting churned out in the TV industry by the dozens...but the fact that it blossomed under extremely unique circumstances. Sure, there have been many women who have married divorcee men with a litany of kids. But it's rare to find a woman voluntarily jumping into a marriage with a man she hated only because she was irrevocably in love with his child.
The purity of that relationship, and the strength of the same is what wowed us all about the Ishita-Ruhi relationship. It was something independent of Ishita-Raman relationship, and yet, a part of it.
We fell in love with IshRa relationship because love between them happened gradually...nothing was forced or faked...it happened in a sense that it was inevitable. When two people are broken in the same way but for different reasons, are opposites, but are bound by similar values, the love that stems from it is a deep, rare kind of love.
Not to be tarnished or discarded or willed away easily.
Which is why, I was hurt when Raman made it seem like Ishita had no use in his life anymore because Ruhi wasn't there. And that's really really sad.đ˛đ˛ And so shocking because that sends Raman off to some pithole falling a few notches below of what we consider as respectable and admirable in a man.
If Ishita-Ruhi and Ruhi-Raman equations can exist, then why cant Ishita-Raman also exist in the same space?
Raman is acting quite retarded and dismissive in this sense because he is grieving over Ruhi as if she was only his daughter.
No Raman. Ruhi was as much Ishita's daughter as she was yours. Then how can her grief be any different from yours? In fact, she is grieving more since deep down she has taken all your words to heart and blames herself to be responsible for Ruhi's death as well as your misery.
Pihu seems super excited about ShaRam's wedding, because of course, she doesnt know the whole story. But when Pihu went to him with Shagun's jewellery in hand, Raman did not seem one bit excited. It was clear he did not want to be a part of this. And yet, he was suppressing his real desires and lunging into it only for Pihu.
And that is the second bit that has me shaking my head in despair.
Earlier it was Ruhi ke liye, now what he is doing is Pihu ke liye...then tomorrow if he decides to marry Ishita again, then it will again be Ruhi ke liye because their estranged kid has lost her marbles and need proper psychological counselling and utmost care.
My qs is - when will he analyse his and Ishita's relationship keeping all the kids aside. Everybody aside. There isn't much time left anyway, because the wedding is to happen today, and he hasn't mulled over it now, then there is little chance he will think about it later.
So, predictably, IshRa will get back again, phir kisi ke liye.đ˛
And I dont want that. I dont want them to be together or fall in them citing a third person as a reason. I want them to be a team, a solid team because they love each other, trust each other, and cant do without each other. Yes, there could be other people (like Ruhi) that make their bond stronger, but the absence of those people should not create such a deep crevice between them. In fact, they should treat that absence as something that hits them both, not just one of them.
I dont know about others, but I am not the least bit excited about how it is shaping up...and what it is going to lead to. Till Ishita and Raman realize they need to stand by each other through thick and thin for each other and nobody else, any Tom Dick and Harry can come in between and create misunderstandings between them. The kids in one way or another will again become the bone of contention between them and though I empathize with Raman's pain and his fear of being rejected and betrayed and all of that, my heart goes out to Ishita who has time and again compromised her own happiness and self-respect many, many times for the sake of keeping intact the status quo.
I dont want her to stretch herself till she breaks only because she needs to prove her worth many times over to be accepted.đ It's heartbreaking to watch that...I still remember that one episode of Sharam going on a picnic to the outskirts for fetching Adi some coveted "family time". I still remember the disappointment etched on her face when Raman said he was taking Shagun along and not her. It was so so sad to see her fragility crumble even more. And I dont want this to happen to her again. Nobody should have to go through this.
I want this Ishita to know and understand that she is whole as perfect as she is, kids or no kids. Dizzying maternal instincts or no maternal instincts.
And I want Raman especially, to understand that, to respect this fact and then go be with Ishita...else am sorry, she is just too good for him. She doesn't deserve a man who constantly weighs her worth on the basis of what she has done for the kids, and the family. It's time he stepped up and be the man Ishita would finally be secure about.
It must be hard to always walk on eggshells, counting out your flaws, worried your partner might just drop you halfway down the line, because you fell short in one aspect, despite trying so hard and despite the fact that you've clearly overcompensated everywhere else.
I know why feminism has had a bad rap all over the world, but when you see the glaring inequalities in Raman and Ishita's relationship, you realize lessons in women empowerment are much needed. But it seems the so-called sacrificial nature of women is being glorified to the point that it totally disempowers a woman. I dont care about love, but no woman/man should have to prove their worth 20 times a day in various ways.
If no man can handle the pressure, why should the woman?
So, Raman, I am not buying any of your 'ke liye' crap. You are bringing it on yourself, and only you can free yourself of this mess.
I was smirking when Shagun started off with her monologue. And my assessment of this new Shagun is just about right. The previous one was easier to identify, hate and dismiss. But this post-leap is avval number ki chantt, and using Pihu as her trump card in insidious ways.đĄ
"Main jaanti hun tum iss shaadi se khush nahin ho Raman. Par main yeh sab Pihu ke liye kar rahi hun. Main chahti hun ki Pihu ko uska poora parivaar mile. Woh jise sach samajhti hai use woh sach mile. Main jaanti hun main Pihu ki asli maa nahin hun, uski surrogate mother hun. Jab usne apna pehla kadam liya toh uske munh se pehla shabd Mamma tha. Usne mujhe Mamma bulaya tha Raman. Main hi Pihu ki maa hun" or something like that, she went on and on...
Selfish and a narcissist through and through. Can never love anyone beyond herself.đĄ If she really wanted Pihu ki bhalai, shouldn't she have totally the truth about Ishita to Pihu? I dont understand why Bhallas chose not to reveal the truth to Pihu, and this current drama is a mere extension of that blunder they have committed earlier.
Shagun post-leap is to be feared more than she was, pre-leap. This Shagun wont demand, shout, create a scene, but will be subtle and strategic and act emotional and self-sacrificing, like she is not doing it for herself but for her daughter, for the family...and what not.
This is wayy more dangerous than all those active schemes she used to plan pre-leap.
And that's it. That stupid monologue of hers was sufficient to rile Raman up and off he went to his dad and Simmi and yelled at them for pulling long faces. So he told them - even if you dont like it, you'll have to bear with it because it is for my daughter's happiness.
I am disgusted with Shagun. Simply disgusted. She wants to marry a man who she knows does not love her and never will. She wants to marry a man who is miserable and cant grip on himself. She has no problems being a pile-on in that house even though the others have started expressing displeasure at her overstay.
But why blame her when our hero himself is mocking the very institution of marriage. He did it too, earlier, by asking his current ex-wife (I have no other way to describe that tart ShagunđĄ) to conceive his and his second ex-wife's child when they were still in a marriage. How retarded!
I wonder - jis shaadi se koi khush nahin hai, uss shaadi ka achcha asar Pihu pe kaise padega??
But anyway, I have concluded - Raman is as kid-crazy as his mother, and everything that is done has to be done for the kids. Eveything comes secondary. Which is why he went ahead with the surrogacy even when Ishita did not want it and had never asked for it. And now that I'm thinking about it I am getting pissed, so I'll end it here - till he gets rid of his 'ke liye's its not going to work out b/w him and Ishita.
No matter how many romantic scenes the CVs show us...irrespective of their strongest bond or whatever.
And that's the truth. Sorry, I sound so cynical, but I cant help but rue the way the CVs are inching closer to that much-repeated Ruhi ke liye, Pihu ke liye shit againđ
2. Ishita was MINDBLOWING todayđđđ what a powerful act..few words and plenty of emotions thrown in.
She expressed her wish to talk to Raman once...and Simmi readily let her in..maybe she wanted to wish him the joys and happiness of the world, or maybe she wanted to make him realize he is not doing the right thing...I'm not sure what she intended to do. But Raman assumed she has come to have one last shot at convincing him to change his mind, and he did not even grace her a reply in person--shouting from inside the bathroom that he will not change his decision of marrying Shagun, come what may.
It was pathetic to see her face fall...like her last hope was just wrenched away from her.đ
She looked like she had finally resigned to her fate...and she simply wished him luck and happiness and walked away.
Whatever little restraint she managed in Raman's house, it all crumbled away when she reached her own flat. It was gutting to see her sob like there was no end to this grief...Ishita is a beautiful, beautiful woman...and more than that she is such a gentle soul...I dunno but there was so much poignancy in the way she cried...let out all her emotions...allowed herself to feel the excruciating pain shooting through her in every cell of her body...
she looked beautiful even when she cried...coz there was so much she was holding inside of her that she released...in the privacy of her world where she could pity her fate...and pick up whatever was left of her ruptured soul...
and she was right, "itna dard hai ki mera rom rom toot raha hai"
it was such a powerful yet agonizing act...and those words...I literally cried with herđđ...
DT is a fab, fab actressđđ
there's quite no match for her...among the other female leads on SP...
So this is what majorly pissed me off and offended me was Ruhi's reaction...I mean, I get it she is angry and confused and acting all schizophrenic...but she actually smirked in that evil way when she saw Ishita cry...and shut the door on her..
that was cruel...what has Ishita done to deserve this?? I was fuming when she did that..đĄđĄđĄ
Whenever Ishita is too distressed, she starts cleaning the house and shouting in that indiscriminate, aimless manner...its like her way of venting her feelings out...
and when Ishita started doing that, picking things up and setting the house in order...Ruhi smirked a bit and thought to herself - yes, I know why you are doing this Ishita...
and despite the fact that she knew why Ishita was doing that, she stood there...her eyes got moist for a few seconds and then she caught herself thinking why she was getting so senti.
I am sorry but this is beyond crazy.đĄđĄ
No matter how many sorry senti faces she pulls, I cannot let that get past me that she actually enjoyed watching Ishita cry and slammed the door on her, instead of going up to her and comforting her...not as a mother, but at least as a human being maybe??đ˛
What's worse, she went and shared this news with NidhiđĄ
For everything Ishita did, this is the price she is paying. It's like Ishita has never done anything for either Raman or Ruhi...
Then to hell with Raman and RuhiđĄđĄ...if they feel better with people like Shagun and Nidhi...then so be it...
I am sick and tired of women being disgraced and made to feel guilty because they failed as a mother or as a wife, despite the fact that they stretch themselves to breaking point
If there is no understanding where is the love??
Even the most understanding, compliant, nurturing and trusting person in the world wants to be loved and nurtured. Giving cant only be one-sided, can it?
I am sorry guys, I ranted off so much today...am very upset and cant get Ishita's tear-streaked face out of my mind.
Please do write in your comments.
P.S. Even at this point Ishita is thinking of Raman and lessening his pain to some extent...she is hoping they would find Nidhi, hoping that Ruhi would be alive...and if nothing else, then at least she can give him the gift of that knowledge to Raman...
that car wala scene was again...overwhelming..
DT, you rock!đđ
What heart-rending portrayals!
P.S. Adi, Bhalla ji, Simmi, even Raman looked sullen during the haldi ceremony. Shagun is the biggest chep I have ever seen in my life...she can see and sense the doom and the appalling misery surrounding the rituals, and yet she was sitting firm on her ass getting the haldi done.
Pathetic, wretched womanđĄ
Cricket
