Because dadisa does not want to shift to SN. Cant abandon her ladesar and his family. She wants to eat cake and have it too.
It is as simple as that. When the eldest member expresses her wish, usually the younger ones cant say No.
But anandi defied dadisa and went to visit Mangala and brought her back?
Anandi was hoping that by defying dadisa, dadisa may ask her to get out and get lost. But dadisa is made of sterner stuff.
The luxuries at BH. What luxuries? They dont have swimming pool, they dont have a bar and they dont have even a dog. Occasionally dadisa buys jewellery for Nimboli. Yes, they celebrate birthdays in a big hall. Birthdays can be celebrated even in a crowded bus. Jewellery is accepted only to please dadisa.
Dadisa is spared running to SN every now and then with a dabba.
As for propriety, kuch to log kahenge.